


yellow days

by demigods_rule55



Series: zard zamano [1]
Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Arranged Marriage, Alternate Universe - Medieval, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Arranged Marriage, Awkward Flirting, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Jealous Adora (She-Ra), Jealousy, M/M, Protective Catra, Shadow Weaver | Light Spinner (She-Ra)'s A+ Parenting, Sickfic, Yearning, minor implied drug use
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:01:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 103,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28176582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/demigods_rule55/pseuds/demigods_rule55
Summary: Adora and Catra have picture-perfect lives. They're in love, and they're happy.But in the privacy of their own home, Catra thinks Adora is a corrupt traitor, and Adora thinks Catra is a ruthless murderer.***AKA, yearning, miscommunication, and a glimbow wedding. there's also a baby
Relationships: Adora & Glimmer (She-Ra), Adora/Catra (She-Ra), Angella/Micah (She-Ra), Bow & Catra (She-Ra), Bow/Glimmer (She-Ra), George/Lance (She-Ra)
Series: zard zamano [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2189061
Comments: 84
Kudos: 159





	1. shikwa hai dard se, mujhko (yeh kahaan saath rehta hai?)

**Author's Note:**

> hello! slight tw for IMPLIED abuse, there's nothing graphic, it begins in the first italicized parts from Adora's POV, you can read the dialogue only, or just skip over it entirely if you want, all u need to know is SW threatened Adora and she was too shocked/hurt to speak to anyone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shikwa hai dard se, mujkho  
> yeh kahaan saath rehta hai?
> 
> _i resent this pain you left me with,  
>  why did it stay with me...?_
> 
> ***
> 
> Adora and Catra meet twice, and get engaged once.

_Adora _

Princess Adora of Eternia had been, for her whole life, an orphan. 

But today was the first day she actually felt like one. 

Adora felt her eyes filling with tears as the pallbearers lowered Angella’s coffin into the dirt. She stood still and numb as the funeral carried on around her, and long after everyone had paid their respects and left, even as Princess Glimmer gently grabbed her hand and lead her back to their automobile, Adora couldn’t find it in herself to say anything or do anything other than let herself be directed by the people around her. She let herself get lost in the memories of happier times.

_**One Month Ago** _

Adora was standing near the buffet bar. Glimmer had disappeared with her new friend, Bow, a long time ago, and everyone else seemed to be either dancing with their partner or disappearing into the gardens as well. 

She’d seen Shadow Weaver sweet-talking some diplomats from another kingdom, probably persuading them into forming alliances with Bright Moon. She was King Micah’s mentor and closest advisor. She was also the most wretched person Adora ever had the displeasure of knowing. Adora shuddered thinking of what might’ve become of her if Angella hadn’t been around to adopt Adora, and Shadow Weaver had gotten her way and had taken Adora away to raise her herself. 

Shadow Weaver couldn’t just take the loss, of course. She had Micah put her in charge of Glimmer’s well-being, and by extension, Adora’s too. Thankfully, Angella could sense the malicious intent that Weaver had, but with no real evidence, she couldn’t get rid of someone Micah respected so much. Instead, she would undermine Weaver’s plans as much as she could, protecting Adora at every chance she saw she needed saving. And it seemed the more Shadow Weaver lost in this endless game of being in control of Adora, the more she resented Adora for not being the _perfect little soldier_ she could’ve been. Shadow Weaver didn’t spare any opportunity she had to make sure Adora knew _exactly_ how much of a disappointment she was to her, whether it was with words, or…

Adora felt someone slide next to her. 

“Not having a good time alone either, are you?”

Adora turned to her new companion. She was a Magicat, an uncommon species to see in Etheria, but not so rare. 

“What gave it away?”

“Well, you’ve sort of been leaning against this table for a while, staring wistfully at the couples on the dance floor. And I know Bright Moon’s cooks are good, but even _they’re_ not good enough to keep a pretty lady like you away from her partner all night. Which means you’ve got no one to dance with.”

Adora laughed. “Wow, stalker much? How long have you been watching me to be able to say all that so confidently?”

The girl stepped in front of her. She was wearing a maroon suit with a small black tracker pad clipped against her side. 

“Am I _wrong?_ ”

“Am _I?”_

The girl let out a sweet cackle. “Okay, so maybe I am a stalker. But then how stupid are you, to not notice I’ve been staring at you for the past twenty minutes?”

“Twenty? I would’ve guessed ten. Wow, I should have you arrested for that.”

The girl laughed again. 

They spoke for long, and Adora found herself disappointed when her tracker pad beeped, interrupting them. The girl opened something and frowned. 

“I’m sorry, I have to cut this short. An emergency just came up. I’ll see you again, though, right?”

“Of course.”

Then the Magicat sprinted away. And Adora realized she never even got a name. 

The ball ended after that, and Adora never saw her again. 

**_Now_ **

Eventually, Adora found herself sitting at the windowsill in her room, watching the sky turn from grey to black. To anyone else, Adora might have looked like a statue. As silent and calm as she seemed on the outside, on the inside she was the complete opposite. Her mind kept replaying the screams and the shock, the thunder, and the _lightning_ – and there was nothing else for Adora to do then just sit and _think._

A couple hours must have passed by because the next time she saw Glimmer, she was wearing her sleep clothes and looking worse for the wear. She sat next to her and wordlessly pulled Adora into a hug. 

“Adora, please.” She whispered. “Everyone keeps telling me to be strong, be brave… but I’m not sure how to do that without your help.”

Adora said nothing. Glimmer faced her, and tears filled her eyes when she saw how _empty_ Adora looked.

“Adora. If you don’t want this, tell me. I, I can’t do anything about it, unless you tell me.”

Adora remained silent. 

“Listen,” Glimmer stammered, unsure if Adora could even hear her in this state, “If you say the word, I’ll fight everyone. Even my own dad, I’ll get Bow’s help and – and we’ll take you far, _far_ away from here – far away from _her_ . I’ll risk it all to get you away, but I just… I need to know that’s what you want. I need to hear something from you, please… one word. That’s it. Just one word.” Glimmer’s voice broke on the last thing she said, but she continued, grasping Adora’s forearms, “I just need you to say one word, something to give me courage, Adora, you just watch, one word from you will give me _so much strength_ , I just need you to – “ 

Adora took in a shuddering breath. Glimmer’s voice died in her throat, waiting for Adora to say something.

_**One Week Ago** _

_“Listen here, child.”_

_She was yanked to her feet._

_“This is your fault.”_

_A cold hand roughly closed around her throat._

_“If you hadn’t been disobedient,_ _if you hadn’t done such a foolish act, the Queen would still be here today.”_

_Adora was shoved against the table._

_“You’ve been enough of a burden on this family already.”_

_The cold hand disappeared to grab the drink behind her to take a sip. A moment of silence, if not for Adora’s gasping breaths._

_“One week.”_

_Adora gulped._

_“You have one week to get your affairs in order. The King has decided he will marry you to his highest general. He says it is to honor the Queen’s final wishes, but truth be told, I think he can’t stand the sight of you any longer.”_

_Adora was grabbed roughly by her wrist and taken to the exit of the chambers._

_“I don’t want to hear any objections from you, child. You’ve already disappointed me enough. If it were up to me I’d dispose of you, your heritage be damned, but Micah…”_

_She growled and threw Adora against the door, then pressed a hand under Adora’s chin, gentle enough to be mistaken as motherly, but rough enough to make Adora’s heart race in fear._

_“Not a word of this to His Majesty. He has enough to worry about, between having to now rule this kingdom by himself, and thinking about his own unwed daughter, without having to give someone like_ you _a second thought.”_

_She let go of her face and turned back, walking to her desk. Adora stood frozen against the door._

_“Go to your room, Adora. We have a funeral to attend soon. I trust that you will be on your best behaviour, for once in your life, for the next few days. I don’t want to hear a_ single word _from you until the wedding.”_

_Given permission to move, Adora stepped out the door and ran back to the safety of her own room. She locked the door, then slid down against the wall. She felt like crying, but no sound escaped her. She waited for the shock to wear off, but it didn’t. She let the numbness consume her._

_There was no point, anymore._

_It was time for her to just accept whatever fate had in store for her._

_ **Now** _

“Adora?” Glimmer asked, waiting.

Adora left Glimmer’s hold and leaned back. She looked outside the windowsill again, up at the stars. She smiled and laughed, humorlessly.

“Mara never let me learn how to fight.”

She sighed. Glimmer stiffened at the mention of Adora’s dead guardian. Adora never talked about her much, it was always too painful for her to dwell on her past. That, and she was also never _allowed_ to dwell on it. All mentions of Mara were very disliked by Shadow Weaver, their caregiver. 

“Mara didn’t let me join the army, no matter how much I wanted to protect others, the way she did. She said it was because she didn’t want me fighting my whole life, like her… But here I am.”

Adora chuckled dryly. Glimmer waited a moment, to see if Adora was done talking. 

“That doesn’t answer my question – “

“Glimmer, please,” Adora interrupted. “I don’t want you to fight for me. I’m tired,” Adora’s voice broke, “I’m so tired of fighting all the time.” 

Adora curled around herself again. “I’ve had to fight her every step of the way since Mara left. And now Angella’s gone, because of me, and I don’t…”

At the mention of her deceased mother, Glimmer clenched her jaw and stared at the floor.

“I’m exhausted, Glimmer. At least marriage is better than prison, or even exile… that’s what usually happens to people that have anything to do with the Horde.”

Glimmer whimpered. Adora grabbed the younger girl’s hands. “Hey, Glimmer.” She took a hold of Glimmer’s chin and gently tilted her face up, like she used to when Glimmer was upset, before, when she was strong enough to take care of her. Another reason Adora was better off leaving. The only times Glimmer had ever gotten in trouble with Shadow Weaver was when _Adora_ did something to make her mad at them both. Adora was done being an affliction on the young Princess’s life.

“I swear, I’m fine. I’m okay with this. I’m ready to go and be with whoever this general is, and I trust that Micah wouldn’t make me marry someone unless he thought it was the best choice.”

_Besides, you’ve all already done so much for me. It’s time I stop being a burden on this kingdom._

Glimmer finally made eye contact with Adora. “Dad’s not in his right mind! He’s been listening to whatever crap Shadow Weaver has been pumping him with. It’s not fair, you deserve better than some arranged shit.” Glimmer stood up and started pacing, angry. “You should be able to leave this place, to find _love_ , like I did with Bow, and live the life you want! The life Mara always wanted for you.”

“Glimmer,” Adora stood up and followed her, stopping her pacing by standing in front of her. “Mara brought me to Bright Moon instead of keeping me in Eternia because she knew I’d be safe here, that if I stayed there I’d be captured by the Horde or _worse_. How is this any different? I’m being sent to another kingdom, where I’ll be safe, instead of thrown into prison, or worse.”

Glimmer looked away from Adora for a minute, thinking. Adora couldn’t help but notice how much she resembled Angella. Had she always? Or was it something about the loss of Angella that made Adora remember her in every little thing? Adora wished she could just forget, forget all the times Angella had protected Adora from Shadow Weaver’s wrath, all the times her and Glimmer would take a trip to Mystacor to escape Bright Moon’s suffocating atmosphere. Never knowing someone was easier than having them, then losing them. 

Glimmer turned to Adora again. 

“Are you really okay with all of this?”, she asked Adora, one last time.

“Yes. I swear.” 

Glimmer nodded. Then she jumped into Adora’s arms and hugged her, tight. She softly shook.

“I’m sorry all of this is happening to you.”

Adora hugged her back. 

“Glimmer… you don’t have to believe me… but I want you to know… I didn’t do anything. They’re lying.”

It was Glimmer’s turn to chuckle dryly. “I know, Adora.” She sniffed. “And I’m so sorry my dad doesn’t believe you. But God, anyone that meets you could tell from a single glance… you could never be a traitor.”

Glimmer let go, and to Adora’s satisfaction, she didn’t look upset anymore. “I mean, come on, your innocence is written all over your face.”

Adora smiled at her and said her goodbyes.

 _If only that were true,_ she thought as she climbed into her bed. If her innocence were all over her face, she wouldn’t have been in this situation in the first place. Those guards didn’t believe her, that Captain didn’t believe her, and the people that threw her at Shadow Weaver’s feet sure as _hell_ didn’t believe her.

** _On_ _e Week Ago_ **

_The guard that had helped her sneak out of the castle had led Adora down gloomy cobbled streets, into a dark room with groups of unfriendly looking people. Adora didn’t want to be there, she thought she was being taken to a party._

_Someone had offered her a gray ration bar. Adora, never one to turn down a snack, ate the whole thing in one bite. The guard she had trusted was nowhere to be found._

_Soon after eating the bar, Adora felt dizzy. Someone yelled something, and suddenly, everyone inside rushed out, taking Adora with them. Outside, there were Rebellion officers, who started gathering everyone who was trying to run off, and they took them all to an army station to be questioned for their affiliations with the Horde._

_“Wait! What’s happening?” she cried out as she was bound and thrown with the rest of the prisoners._

_“Captain, we think she’s on some of those narcotics, the ones supplied by the Horde.”_

_Adora tried to speak out, but her world was spinning and she couldn’t move very much._

_“The Horde!? Put her with the rest!”_

_Most of it was a blur, and the next thing she knew, she was standing in line next to the few people she had met at the party, being questioned by two guards._

_“All of you better answer me honestly. You’re going to spend the rest of the night in the dungeon, either way. Who the hell is the leader, here?”_

_Adora’s head was killing her, and she started hyperventilating. Dungeon? No! She didn’t do anything!_

_“I – I didn’t do anything! Please! It was them! I didn’t know anything about the Horde, I, this guy gave me some gray bar, he, he drugged me…”_

_“No way! She’s the one that brought us all here. I’m not even on that stuff, I swear!”_

_Adora protested, but everyone around her agreed that she was their leader, and she was once again thrown into a different room. The Captain was there with another woman._

_“Who’s this?” a cold voice asked. Adora’s hair was loose and it was covering her face._

_“One of the Horde’s leaders, apparently.”_

_“She was the one responsible for those murders in Erelandia?” the voice grew even colder._

_“We think so.”_

_No! No! She wasn’t with the Horde._

_The woman grunted in anger. Adora was pulled to her feet, and her hair pushed out of her eyes._

_Adora gasped. It was the girl from the dance._

_She also seemed shocked to see Adora in this state. Then she scoffed slightly and shook her head._

_“Unbelievable. Get her out of my sight. Contact any relatives she may have once she’s sober, and inform them of her sentence.”_

_Then she was gone, and Adora once again felt like her world was breaking into pieces._

_ **Now** _

Adora sniffled. She burrowed herself into her pillow. 

_Why do I care so much about what that girl thinks of me?_

It didn’t matter what any of those people thought of her. Everyone involved in that case had been instructed by Shadow Weaver to keep silent, anyways. And because it was kept off the records, no one bothered to start an investigation to find out the truth of what happened that night. It didn’t matter that that Captain and that girl thought she was a Horde soldier in disguise. It didn’t matter that the girl she’d met at the ball thought she was a murderer. She’d never see her again, anyways.

_I may as well be a murderer. If it wasn’t for me sneaking out that night, Angella wouldn’t have scoured the Horde for me that night. She wouldn’t have gotten caught in that trap… she’d still be here to stop me from being sold._

That’s what was actually happening, right?

The truth was, Micah had asked Shadow Weaver to get Adora married to someone trustworthy, but he didn’t actually specify _who,_ and he didn’t know anything about who Adora was marrying. Shadow Weaver was the one who selected Adora’s soon-to-be-wife _._ And if Adora’s suspicions about Weaver were correct, anyone she’d chosen to have Adora married to certainly couldn’t be trusted, at least not by King Micah. Even if Adora was wrong, and Weaver _wasn’t_ trying to slowly take over the kingdom without anyone even realizing it, there was no way Weaver wouldn’t try to take advantage of Adora’s marriage, using her as a transaction. _“My ward for your possessions.”_ Adora could only hope that whatever reason she was being married off to some random woman would be beneficial for the whole kingdom, not just for Shadow Weaver.

 _At least it’s a woman,_ Adora thought ruefully. _Can you imagine having to be with a man?_

As Adora finally drifted off into a fitful sleep – because Adora hadn’t had a restful night since Mara passed – she dreamt of the girl from the ball. She dreamt of getting to dance with her among those couples, she dreamt of talking to the girl about nothing and everything, and she dreamt of planning a wedding – not one where she would simply sign a piece of paper then move in with someone without even looking at them – but one where she walked down the aisle, stood next to the girl of her dreams, and promise to spend the rest of her life loving someone as much as Glimmer loved Bow, as Angella loved Micah.

But the next day, she woke up, got dressed, and went to meet the family of the woman she was to wed in three days. 

***

_Catra_

General Catra of Bright Moon, or Princess Katrina of the Fright Zone, had always felt something missing from her life. 

Maybe it was because she never actually knew who her family was. Maybe it was because the people that she should call family didn’t _always_ accept her as is. Or maybe this was just the way Catra was. Always looking for something more. It was why she’d decided to leave the Fright Zone and make a name for herself in Bright Moon. It was why she worked so hard and was promoted so quickly to the highest level. It was why she was currently the closest person to taking down the Horde’s drug operation. Her entire life had been spent striving for some unknowable goal, and Catra wouldn’t stop until she found it. She often asked herself, “What is it I really want?”

Apparently, Queen Ash had an answer for her constant question. 

“Catra, I think it’s time for you to get married.”

Catra was taken aback. 

“…right now? In these times?”

“Yes, Catra. I know the timing isn’t the best, but, the last thing Lynda asked of me was to make sure you weren’t alone. She was always concerned that you’d end up being married to your work. In fact, her last wish for me was…” Ash closed her eyes and took a deep breath. It had only been a week since Queen Lynda had passed due to her heart problems, but Queen Ash was dealing with it much better than Catra had expected. “Her last wish was that I make sure you find someone to be your life partner.”

Catra’s throat went unexpectedly dry. Lynda had always been fond of Catra, more than Ash was. More than anyone was, really. Of course she was worried about Catra being alone, why wouldn’t she be?

_If she was oh-so worried about you feeling lonely, then why did she kick you out of her home, in the first place?_

Catra shook the thought from her head. It wasn’t fair to resent Lynda for her judgement. The odds weren’t exactly in her favour when it came to her trial, too much evidence pointed _away_ from Catra’s innocence. 

“Anyways, I wanted to ask you if there’s anyone in your life you’d like to marry…?”

Catra thought for a moment.

_ **One Month Ago** _

“You’ve been staring at her, you know.”

Scorpia, her foster-sister, startled Catra out of her gawking. She couldn’t help it. She wasn’t _trying_ to stare at the blonde princess, but no matter what Catra distracted herself with, her gaze always ended up back on the woman lounging near the table.

Catra scowled. “So? Staring isn’t a crime.”

“Who knows, maybe it is? This whole place is filled with all kinds of royalty, and some of their customs are pretty _wack._ ” Scorpia wasn’t the most regal person Catra knew. Maybe that’s why she could _actually_ get along with her, sometimes. She acted like a regular person. “Who knows, if you stare at her too intensely, you might have to end up marrying her!”

Scorpia laughed, but Catra remained still, turning back to look at the princess that was across the room, watching everyone else gather on the dance floor. 

“Yeah…you think she’s single?”

Scorpia let out a _squeal._ “Wow, Catra! This is the first time you’ve ever asked me something like that!” The buffer woman picked Catra up in a hug. “Do you have a _crush?_ For the first time _ever?_ ”

Catra clawed her way out of Scorpia’s grasp. She hissed, smoothing out her suit. “Shut up. This is why I never tell you anything. Never mind.”

Catra began to walk away, thinking she should probably go back to work, anyways. But Scorpia picked her up by the nape of her suit and turned her back around towards the blonde princess. She gave her a slight push. 

“Go, talk to her! It’ll be good for you to get out a little. Besides, you _are_ of marrying age…”

“Scorpia!”

“Okay, okay! Forget about marriage for now. But at least have a conversation with her! Just as, you know, a trial run. For the next time you have a _crush_ on someone.”

Catra grumbled. Scorpia was looking at her with a pout. She sighed and turned on her heel, to go start a conversation with the princess.

It turned out to be a pretty good decision. She would thank Scorpia, later. The girl was delightful, and Catra was going to ask her to dance, but – 

_Beep._

_“General Catra,_

_Movement in the camp._

_Horde soldiers spotted near Whispering Woods._

_Possibly on Hemanogen.”_

“I’m sorry, I have to cut this short. An emergency just came up. I’ll see you again, though, right?”

Truth be told, it was probably nothing. But anything involving those new steroids the Horde was supplying people demanded Catra’s immediate attention. Horde soldiers that took Hemanogen were ten times stronger than normal, and Catra had heard rumours that the Horde was bribing people of the Rebellion to join their side with the promise of keeping them supplied with the drug. Catra had caught one of their higher-ups and had him thrown in the dungeon, so when the time came, he could be taken to the council meeting and Catra could get support from other kingdoms’ to tackle this new problem.

Catra reached the camp where her officers had arrested the Horde soldiers. She took aside one of the Captain’s and instructed her to take a full medical of everyone that had been captured. Catra wanted to know everything about these drugs and their effects, and wanted to have a record on hand of who was on them. 

Arriving at the Fright Zone Castle, Catra went up to her chambers, where she began drawing up a plan to take down this drug operation, once and for all. It would take time and effort for sure. Catra predicted it would take at least two months to complete her new project: get rid of any and all traces of Hemanogen in Bright Moon.

Once Catra was satisfied with the plan she had made, she retired to bed. That was when she realized, she had never caught the princess’s name. 

_ **Now** _

“Catra, I’m going to be honest with you. A proposal has come for you, from Bright Moon’s castle, no less. Do you remember Princess Adora of Eternia?”

Catra recognized the name. The Princess without a Kingdom. Eternia wasn’t technically _gone,_ but the kingdom was practically a wasteland by now, despite Eternia having been the most powerful realm for the last 500 years. From what Catra could gather, there was a war, and they lost. The King and Queen of Eternia were killed, their son and daughter presumed to be dead, until it was discovered that a child in the care of one of the refugees from Eternia was actually Princess Adora. 

A part of Catra found the irony amusing. 

A union between two orphaned princesses’, both who didn’t truly belong to a Kingdom in anything other than name.

“Well, if it’s what the King wants, I’d be happy to accept.”

Ash sighed, expecting this reaction from her foster-daughter. “Catra. You can’t accept a marriage like it’s some sort of duty. I want you to meet Adora, at _least_ look at her before you agree. And before _I_ agree, I need to know, is there someone else in your life you want to marry or not?”

Catra thought of the blonde princess she’d met that had turned out to be working for the Horde. She didn’t know what became of the traitor, but she wasn’t in the dungeons with the others. Apparently, someone from her kingdom had her bailed out. Of course. Some royal families clearly weren’t taking the Horde seriously. Either that, or this princess was spoiled rotten, enough for her family to forgive her for _anything_ , even the ruthless way the people from Erelandia had been murdered. 

Catra huffed. The one person she’d ever shown the slightest interest in, and she turned out to be her enemy. 

“No, Ash, I’m good. And, I’m actually pretty busy these days, so I don’t think I can carve out a time to meet her properly. Why don’t you and Scorpia meet her, and if you think she’s a good fit for me, you can accept it on my behalf.”

Catra turned to leave the room.

“Oh, Catra?”

She stopped.

“I’ve already informed them that after marriage, Adora will live with you in your manor, not in the Castle of the Fright Zone.”

Catra gritted her teeth and clenched her fist.

“Of course, your majesty.”

And Catra left the room.

_ **Three Weeks Ago** _

_Catra heard something fall over in the room she was walking by. She unclipped the taser she had attached to her belt and opened the door, levelling the stick at the intruder._

_“Entrapta?”_

_Entrapta looked at Catra fearfully._

_“Catra, listen, I can explain – “_

_A short conversation later, and Catra still had her taser pointed at Entrapta._

_“Catra, I don’t expect you to help me, but please – “_

_Catra considered the situation. Entrapta wasn’t technically a traitor. She just wanted to be away from all of this violence. Catra understood that. But she was also one of the top scientists the Rebellion had. Losing her would be a huge loss in the war against the Horde._

_Before Catra could decide, the castle alarms went off._

_Entrapta squeaked and looked at something on her tracker pad._

_“No, no, no, no!” She looked back up at Catra. “I need to leave, now! I’m sorry about this, Catra.”_

_Entrapta pressed something on her tracker pad, and the building shook as something exploded. Dust covered Catra’s face, and she stumbled backwards to avoid the falling debris. She was knocked out. When she woke up, she discovered that the lab where Princess Entrapta used to spend her time had been blown up, and the scientist herself was nowhere to be found._

_A while later, she was standing in the throne room in front of Lynda and Ash._

_“What happened to Entrapta.”_

_“I already told you, I don’t know!”_

_“Scorpia said the last thing she saw before the bomb was you, pointing a weapon at her!”_

_“Well then your daughter is lying! How do you know she isn’t the one that – ”_

_“Catra! How dare you – “_

_Lynda stood up and Catra was pulled aside._

_“Catra, listen to me. No one here is against you.”_

_Catra looked up at Lynda._

_“But I need you to tell me the truth. What did you do to Entrapta?”_

_Catra gasped a little. Here was the one person Catra always thought she could rely on, telling her so gently to her face, that she believed Catra was guilty._

_“Catra,” she said more sternly. “Tell me the truth. If we don’t find Entrapta, you could be accused of the assassination of the sole leader of Dryl.”_

_Catra didn’t say anything. What was there left to say?_

_Lynda let her go, solemnly. “Fine. It brings me no pleasure to say this, dear. But this is the only option I can see where no one gets hurt.”_

_Lynda returned to her throne. Ash was still seething in her own seat._

_“Princess Catra of the Fright Zone, until it is determined what truly happened to Princess Entrapta of Dryl, you are hereby banished from this castle. You may only return upon the request of me, the Queen, or my wife, Queen Ash.”_

_Catra steeled her voice. “As you wish, your majesty.”_

_Catra left the castle, unaware that the next time she’d be returning to her home, it would be to bury Queen Lynda._

_ **Now** _

A part of Catra still wanted to be mad at Lynda and Ash, for not believing her, for not taking her side, but the logical part of Catra understood. She had never shown any interest in friendship with Entrapta, despite Scorpia’s attempts. She was the last one seen with the mad scientist, pointing a weapon at her, no less. She looked guilty. As long as Entrapta was claimed to be _missing_ , and not _dead_ , no one could actually accuse Catra of killing her. That thought was comforting, at least. 

Scorpia caught Catra on her way out. 

“Catra, hey.” Her eyes were puffy and red. Catra wasn’t sure what Scorpia thought of her. They were close, sure, but in the end, Scorpia wasn’t really her sister, and Catra wasn’t really her family. All she knew was, ever since Catra had been accused of killing Entrapta, Scorpia didn’t speak to her about anything other than… well, this.

“Um, Cyra’s been looking for you all day.”

Catra sighed. Every time someone mentioned Cyra, she’d get the same look. One that said, _“I can’t fucking believe you”._ It wasn’t like Catra had had a secret affair and hid her pregnancy or anything. Cyra wasn’t her actual daughter. But what was the point of explaining who Cyra really was? Clearly, everyone was happy thinking the worst of Catra. 

“Where is sh – oof!”

A small Magicat child rammed into Catra’s chest. “Ma!” Cyra began to climb Catra and sat on top of her shoulders. 

Catra chuckled at Cyra’s excitedness. Despite everything that went wrong this month, Cyra was the _one_ thing Catra didn’t regret in the slightest. 

_ **Two Weeks Ago** _

Catra was returning from the Fright Zone Castle, having finished paying her respects to Queen Lynda and giving her condolences to Ash and Scorpia. 

Catra noticed a small kit on the side of the road. She stopped the automobile and turned her head to make sure she wasn’t hallucinating. 

Sure enough, on the side of the road, there was a small Magicat. She was shivering, not from the cold, but from tears. Catra climbed out of the car. As she approached the kit, her mind flashed back to the first time she’d met Lynda. She had been a little older than the kit in front of her, more prone to attacking people as well, having been raised amongst people that only wanted to _hurt_. But Lynda had been patient, talking to her slowly and calmly, offering her pincer for Catra to hold as she led her out of the warzone and into safety. 

Catra sat silently beside the shivering kit. 

“Hello,” she said softly. “My name is Catra. What’s your name?”

The kit looked up at Catra with her own heterochromatic eyes. She sniffed again. “I’m Cyra. Do you know my ma?”

“I’m sorry, I don’t. Where is your ma? I’d _like_ to know her.”

The kit curled in more on herself. “I don’t know,” she wailed. The kit started crying again. “I don’t know, I don’t know where my ma is!”

Catra’s heart broke. She couldn’t just leave her here like this.

“Hey, hey, shh, its okay.” Catra crouched in front of her. “You know what? I’m going to help you find her!”

Cyra quieted down and looked up at Catra. “P-promise?”

Catra tried to grin at her without looking menacing. She’d been told by several people that she tended to come off as _carnivorous._ “I promise.” Catra held out her pinky finger. Cyra unfurled herself and grasped Catra’s pinky with her own, then threw herself onto the older cat in a desperate hug. Catra picked her up and brought her to her new home.

_ **Now** _

Now that Catra thought about it, Cyra was probably a huge reason why Ash had decided to get her married. Catra was technically a member of the Kingdom of the Fright Zone, and it would be _dishonorable_ for one of their princesses to have a child without being married. 

Catra tucked Cyra into her bed, and laid down next to her, stroking Cyra’s short fur. Cyra refused to sleep alone.

 _Maybe marriage_ is _a good idea,_ Catra thought to herself. _If not for me, at least for Cyra. It’ll be good for her to have someone around that’s not just a maid or a cook when I’m not home._

Catra fell asleep, thinking about this mysterious Princess Adora. But whenever she tried to picture raising Cyra alongside someone else, the traitorous blonde face would form in her mind. Eventually, Catra fell asleep, dreaming of dancing with the enemy.


	2. deke ummeed ke lout aoun ga

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> deke ummeed ke lout aoun ga...
> 
> _you gave me hope that you'd come back (to take it away)_
> 
> ***  
> Bow has a request for Glimmer. Adora and Catra approach their wedding day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi again!
> 
> 4 chapters have already been written, my plan is to update with a new chapter once im finished writing the latest one, so for example:
> 
> -I'm posting chapter 3 after I've finished writing chapter 5, but chapter 3 + 4 are already ready, and i have up to chapter 8 outlined (i think it'll be about 12 or 13 chapters long, if my outlines/drafts work out the way i want them to)
> 
> also once again, this AU is based off of an ARY drama called "Zard Zamano Ka Sawera", the show itself deals w pretty heavy themes but i've done my best to write them properly in a way that stays true to the characters AND the story, and i'm sorry if I make any mistakes/handle things poorly and am open to constructive criticism 
> 
> (constructive only im very sensitive and i WILL cry and disappear of the earth forever but don't tell anyone i said that)
> 
> tw: shadow weaver's thoughts at the end, idk if there should be a trigger warning but uh, be careful. she's really manipulative and stuff. her twisted brain is not something people should have to look into without warning.

_Bow + Glimmer, one week before the wedding_

The young lord climbed through the window of Princess Glimmer's room.

“Hey, Glimmer!” He whisper-shouted to the young princess, who was laying in her bed, reading a book.

Glimmer turned around and grinned seeing the love of her life. She pushed herself out of bed and ran into his arms, hugging him tightly before pulling back to kiss him.

Bow ended the kiss to ask, “You changed your hair?”

“Yeah, it felt… right.” Glimmer leaned up and captured his lips again. 

After a while, they were sitting at the windowsill, Bow leaning against the wall and Glimmer leaning against him.

“So, what’s the game plan?” Glimmer broke the comfortable silence. Bow knitted his eyebrows in confusion.

“You know,” Glimmer shifted so she was laying in Bow’s lap, facing him upside down. “What’s the plan? How are we going to run away?”

Bow laughed lightly at Glimmer’s eagerness. She wanted to run away and start their life as soon as possible. A part of Bow wanted to run away, too. But that wasn’t fair – not to Glimmer, who would regret leaving her father, and not to the good citizens of Bright Moon, who deserved a just leader and not a tyrant like Shadow Weaver. 

“Glim, listen. I need to ask you to do something for me.”

Glimmer sat up and turned to face him properly. Bow was acting different right now. He was always the calm one out of the two of them, but today he was almost… sullen.

“Whatever you want, Bow. I’d do anything for you.”

Bow sucked in a breath. “I know you would, even if it hurt,” Bow squeezed his eyes shut. “Which is why this is so hard to ask.”

Glimmer took Bow’s hands and shook him. “What is it? You’re not breaking up with me, are you?” Glimmer joked, but a part of her started to get nervous. Did Bow not want her?

Bow opened his eyes, seemingly sensing Glimmer’s distress. “No! Of course not. I just… Glimmer, I need you to be _patient._ ”

There was a pause for a moment. Then they both started laughing. There had just been so much tension and stress in Glimmer’s life, she needed a moment to relax and let herself be happy for a minute. _It’s what mom would have wanted._ She pulled Bow’s arms around her. 

“Come on, Bow. You were acting like you were about to ask me to cut off a hand or something.”

“Yeah, um, the thing is… okay don’t be upset, but I need you to be patient because… I’m not going to marry you. Not yet, anyways.”

Glimmer left Bow’s arms, standing up suddenly.

“What!?”

“Glimmer! Just listen.” Bow also rose to his feet. “I don’t want to steal you away from your home in the middle of the night. That’s not the kind of person my dads raised me to be. If I’m going to marry you, I’m going to do it _right._ I’m going to do it with your father’s blessing.”

Glimmer sighed and rubbed her forehead. _Of course, he was going to be like this. You just HAD to fall in love with one of the good one’s, didn’t you?_

Glimmer looked back at Bow and knew she couldn’t change his mind about this. 

“Bow, I… You know what he’s like. He won’t talk to anyone but Shadow Weaver. Everyone around here knows that by now, Shadow Weaver is basically in charge of everything. And there’s no way Weaver’s going to let me marry for _love_. How are you going to convince her to agree to this marriage?”

Bow hugged Glimmer again.

“This is why I need you to be patient. Just trust me, okay? I love you and I’m not going anywhere. I _will_ find a way for us to be together, even if it means getting rid of Shadow Weaver. And I won’t stop until I do.”

“You do realize, you kind of sound like you’re planning treason, right?”

“Hm, maybe I am. If that’s what I need to do, then so be it.”

Glimmer giggled. “Bow!”

“What? What’s a little illegal activity if it means getting to marry the beautiful Princess of Bright Moon?”

“So, you’re telling me you’d rather commit treason than go against your own values.”

“Yep.”

“Hmm, I knew I liked you for a reason.”

*** 

_Bow, four days before the wedding_

Bow knew the only person who could probably help him out here was his old friend, Princess Katrina.

They’d met when they were teenagers. Scorpia and Catra had been sent on a little vacation in Bow’s town while the Queens were making repairs to the kingdom. Catra, wanting to be alone, had snuck into their family’s library and perched herself on top of a bookshelf where Bow used to find his favourite books. He’d accidentally hit her with a play arrow and had offered her snacks as an apology. To his surprise, Catra kept coming back to visit, apparently enjoying his presence, and they stayed close friends even once the Queens had called their kids back to the castle.

Now that Catra was a General, and of the Rebellion no less, Bow was sure she’d be able to help him figure out a way to get rid of Shadow Weaver. Either temporarily for his future, or permanently for Glimmer’s. 

“Catra!”

_“Ugh, why is your ugly face calling me so early in the morning.”_

“It’s been so long! How are you? Anything new?”

A little girl ran up behind Catra and jumped on Catra’s back.

_“Amma! Is it true I’m gonna have another amma soon?”_

Bow stared in shock.

_“Um, yes.”_

Catra explained everything to him. How Entrapta had faked her death and abandoned the Rebellion, using Catra as a scapegoat, and had gotten Catra banished from her own castle and forced her to live by herself in a separate household, and how her foster-sister had refused to speak to her since. How she had found Cyra, her presumed daughter, and was currently looking for a way to find Cyra’s real parents. How her foster-mother had told her she needed to get married soon, and had arranged a wedding that would take place in four days.

“…Woah.”

Catra raised an eyebrow at him. _“Woah? I just told you how fucking crazy this last month has been, and all I get is a woah?”_

Bow scoffed. “Catra, I just… What do you _want_ me to say? You’re being accused of treason, you’ve adopted a child, you’re getting married in _four days_ to someone you _don’t even know!_ And, okay, that last part seems pretty stressful, but uh, I’m happy for you.”

Catra put a quizzical look on her face. 

_“Happy? I’m about to let a stranger into my life, I’m still getting used to being in this manor and not in my own home, and you’re happy?”_

“Well, the circumstances could be better, but just think! Soon, you won’t be so _alone._ I mean, your life _is_ pretty dull, you know. Maybe having someone else in it – someone who _isn’t_ your fake biological daughter – will brighten things up. Speaking of which, why don’t you just tell people Cyra isn’t yours?”

_“I was going to, but… ever since Cyra started calling me ‘amma’, and Scorpia assumed she was mine, everyone’s been treating Cyra like a princess. I don’t want to take that away from her. I remember the way everyone treated me when I first arrived in this kingdom, like I was some stray, and I don’t want Cyra to feel like that.”_

“Huh.”

“ _What?”_

“You know, you’re really good at acting all cruel and stuff when it comes to being a General, but deep down you really are one of the kindest people I know.”

Catra blushed. _“Ugh, stop it.”_

“Awww your ears did that thing they do when you’re embarrassed! It’s just so cute!”

_“I’m hanging up. Bye, Bow.”_

“Wait – “

Bow watched Catra’s screen turn black. He was about to call her back, wanting to know more about the girl Catra was going to marry, needing to ask her advice on how to take down Shadow Weaver, but he saw a message from George, telling Bow there was an emergency.

Lance had had a heart attack, and he needed to come home to Brotheria immediately.

*** 

_Adora, three days before the wedding_

Adora wasn’t expecting much, but she’d at least hoped that the General she was going to marry would _be there._

But no, _Princess Katrina_ was too busy to come meet her future life partner. Her family had come, though. Apparently, General Catra, as she preferred to be called, was a member of the Rebellion, but she was also the Princess of the Fright Zone. The Fright Zone and Bright Moon didn’t have much contact with each other. The Horde had almost conquered their kingdom, but the Rebellion had swooped in at the last minute and saved the Queens of the Fright Zone. After, the Fright Zone pledged their allegiance to Bright Moon, and even lent some of their own army to help fight the Horde. Other than that, Adora knew next to nothing about the Fright Zone. 

That was probably the reason Shadow Weaver was getting her married to their Princess. To strengthen their relationship, or whatever. The Fright Zone was quite powerful when it came to their army. 

There were two ladies seated at the table next to King Micah’s seat at the head of the table. Queen Angella’s usual place at the table had been removed, and instead, Shadow Weaver was seated next to Micah’s throne, as his right-hand man. She certainly didn’t waste any time getting rid of any trace of the King’s beloved wife. 

“Adora,” her sickeningly sweet voice called, “How lovely of you to _finally_ join us. This is Queen Ash, and her younger daughter, Princess Scorpia. General Catra couldn’t make it, I’m afraid. You will have to meet her some other time.”

Adora didn’t respond, and instead went to take her place next to Glimmer, but the Queen gestured for Adora to come sit next to her. Scorpia, giving her a weird look, moved to go sit next to Glimmer, leaving a seat open for Adora right next to her future mother-in-law. 

Adora slowly sat next to Queen Ash and tried to relax. She could feel Shadow Weaver’s cold eyes on her. Adora sat up straight and smiled at the Princess that was across from her. Scorpia smiled warmly and waved a claw at her. Adora winced internally, thinking about how exactly it might feel to hold hands with her wife, or do… other activities with those pincers in the way. 

_Come on, Adora. There are other ways to do it,_ the optimistic side of her said. 

_Come on Adora. As if the one you’re marrying is going to want to have anything to do with you,_ the pessimistic side of her said. As always, it was much louder.

Adora was shaken out of her thoughts as Queen Ash put an arm around her and pulled her close, into a side-hug. Adora let out a yelp at being so suddenly grabbed.

“Ah, sorry, sweetheart!” Queen Ash’s voice was warm and motherly. “We’re all huggers, in our family.” She chuckled. “Except for Catra. She’s a bit of the black sheep of the family! Of course, you could probably guess that from seeing her.”

Then Queen Ash turned to speak to Shadow Weaver again, but she didn’t let Adora go. Adora was still blushing from being called ‘sweetheart’; no one had referred to her as anything other than ‘bothersome’ and ‘burden’ for years. Angella called her ‘my dear’, sometimes, but the memory of it was so faint that Adora couldn’t even recall her voice. The past couple of days, Adora hadn’t had anyone talk to her other than the heavy conversation with Glimmer she’d had last night. 

“Adora? What do you think?”

Queen Ash was speaking to her again. Glimmer and Scorpia, who were in the midst of a light conversation, stopped to stare at Adora, who still hadn’t answered. Adora still couldn’t bring herself to speak in Shadow Weaver’s presence. Every time she felt like opening her mouth, her lungs would fill with lead and she would start choking and she couldn’t breathe – 

“I hope you can excuse my dear ward, ever since Queen Angella’s death was reported, she’s been in a state of shock, and refuses to speak. It’ll go away soon, I’m sure of it.”

Queen Ash was still looking at her worriedly, but when she turned back to Shadow Weaver she was smiling. “Of course! She’s quite lovely, your ward.” Adora felt bile rise in her throat as being referred to as Shadow Weaver’s _anything._ “I’ve decided that we will accept this proposal on Catra’s behalf. She’s already agreed to anything the King has decided, but she wanted me to meet Adora at least once to see if I approve before accepting the marriage.”

Queen Ash got lost in conversation again, and Adora tried to calm down. Did that mean Catra hadn’t actually accepted her yet? Queen Ash let go of Adora and leaned forward to pour herself some more wine. Shadow Weaver used the moment to glare at Adora through her mask, sending a silent message to _behave._

“From what I’ve heard about Princess Adora, she seems to be quite a catch, what with her being the sole heir to the throne of Eternia. Plus, she’s pretty easy on the eyes, eh? I’m surprised you didn’t have many suitors asking for her hand, haha! Of course, I’m going to have to discuss it with Catra before we make any final decision…”

Oh God, they weren’t engaged, not fully, anyways. If she messed this meeting up in any way, they’d turn down the proposal, and then Shadow Weaver would be angry, and then she would take Adora to her chambers again, and – 

Glimmer laughed from across the table. It had been so long since Glimmer actually smiled. 

Adora tried to speak, say something, anything to Glimmer, but when she opened her mouth no words came out. That panic was still gripping her chest, she was getting flashbacks to Shadow Weaver’s hands on her neck – 

“Excuse me, but when do you think the King shall arrive? I’d like to speak to him before we go.”

Upon the mention of the King, Glimmer tensed. Glimmer told Adora that when she was younger, Micah used to play with her all the time. He’d teach her how to fight, he’d go riding with her, and they were close. But ever since Shadow Weaver had arrived, and had practically stolen Micah away from his family, he’d been cold and distant. Glimmer had barely spoken to him before, and now that her mother had passed, she never saw him at all.

“Ah, of course. I shall go fetch him. He is quite busy nowadays, what with the recent tragedy and all,” Shadow Weaver faked a mourning tone. Across from her, Glimmer’s knuckles turned white from gripping the silverware. “He entrusted finding Adora a good wife to me.” There was no mistaking the smugness in her tone. She pushed herself away from the table and practically floated out of the room. 

Once the door was shut, Glimmer relaxed, and her eyes fell upon Adora. 

Adora’s heavy breathing was audible now, and Glimmer began to rise, but Adora held up her hand gestured for her to sit down. She didn’t want to make a scene in front of her possible in-laws. Especially if it was yet to be determined whether or not they were going to be her in-laws.

“Adora?” Queen Ash said to her, gently. “Sweetheart, do you want some water?”

Adora took a shaky breath. The panic in her chest was starting to calm down, and she could breathe again. She reached forward to try and pour some water, but her hand was shaking. Queen Ash noticed and reached out to pick up the water pitcher and pour some out for Adora. Adora drank it all greedily. She felt like she hadn’t drunk water in weeks.

 _You haven’t,_ something reminded her. _You’ve barely had anything since that day with Shadow Weaver._

Adora looked back up. She wanted to thank the Queen. But at that moment, Shadow Weaver re-entered the room with Micah.

Micah, the man she hadn’t been able to look in the eye since his wife’s death because she had inadvertently caused it. 

Micah, who apparently now couldn’t stand the sight of her at all, so much so that he was going to throw her away to a stranger in two, three days? If things went according to plan. 

Walking by, he squeezed Glimmer’s arm in a small show of affection. Glimmer looked surprised that he had acknowledged her at all. Shadow Weaver noticed, and Adora could tell she was displeased that Micah had given Glimmer even the slightest bit of attention. He sat at the table and began chatting with Queen Ash. 

Despite the situation, Adora could feel herself getting more and more comfortable. Scorpia was telling a story about her and Catra getting lost in the woods, and it was surprisingly calming. Scorpia made a point to involve Adora in the conversation any way she could, only asking questions Adora could respond to with a slight nod of the head. Glimmer was doing most of the talking between them. Scorpia was nice, _really_ nice, and from her stories, Catra sounded amazing. Any doubts that Glimmer and Adora had about what kind of person Catra could be faded. 

Micah and Ash were now talking about political affairs, and Shadow Weaver was paying close attention to them, which meant she wasn’t constantly watching Adora, waiting for her to mess up. 

Adora found herself laughing at a story Glimmer was telling about the first time Adora tried to drive an automobile, and she reached out to take a piece of bread. She was munching happily on it, and she realized, maybe a life spent with Catra wouldn’t be that bad. Not if she was anything like Ash and Scorpia. 

Eventually, the evening ended, and they were saying their farewells. 

“Well, Adora,” Queen Ash pulled her into another hug. “It’s a yes from me.” she whispered in her ear.

Adora felt relief flood through her body. Queen Ash left, supposedly to tell Shadow Weaver the good news. Scorpia hugged Adora next.

“Listen,” Scorpia said, still squeezing Adora’s body, “I know this situation is… odd, or difficult, for you, but I just want you to know, Catra is a really good person.” Scorpia released Adora and gave her a warm smile. “Even if you two don’t fall in love or anything, I know she’ll be a great wife. She’ll take care of you, and you two could even be friends!” Scorpia scratched the back of her neck. “Well, she is a little standoff-ish at first though,”, she waved her arms around in a wide gesture, and Adora tried not to flinch at the sudden movement, “but don’t take it to heart, that’s just how she says hello!”

Scorpia got a serious look for a moment and grabbed Adora by her shoulders. “And listen, if you end up deciding this isn’t what you want, don’t even think twice about letting me, or Mom, or even Catra know. No one wants to force you to do something you don’t want to do.”

 _I wish that were the case._

Adora smiled at Scorpia as a confirmation. She was getting better at lying. 

Before Queen Ash and Scorpia made their final exit, Adora felt a sudden rise of courage. 

“I hope to see you again soon,” she said softly, just enough for them to hear. 

If they were surprised to hear Adora’s voice, they didn’t show it. 

“You’ll see us again soon, sweetheart. On your wedding day!”

Right. Her wedding day.

The day she will officially be free of Shadow Weaver.

The day she will finally _truly_ be a part of a family, even if it was under these circumstances.

She wasn’t sure how she felt about being married to a stranger now, but meeting Scorpia and Ash… Adora actually felt excited.

For the first time since... she couldn’t even remember, she was looking forward to the coming days. 

*** 

_Glimmer, two days before the wedding_

Glimmer was exhausted.

She had been ready to run ever since her mother died. 

Angella and Adora were the only two people holding her back.

Now, her mother was gone, and soon, Adora would be too. Glimmer had no reason to stay.

_What about Dad?_

_Yeah, like he’d even notice you were gone._

_You’d think he’d make more time for his only daughter._

Glimmer had been ready to jump into Bow’s arms and run, run _, run_ , until they were both so far from Bright Moon that she could forget she ever even _had_ a life before meeting him. 

But then Bow had asked her to wait. 

Glimmer collapsed into her bed. She hadn’t heard from Bow since he’d come and told her to be patient. He said he’d come back with a plan to get Shadow Weaver out of the way. Glimmer wasn’t sure if she believed him or not. She considered finding a way to leave the castle to try and contact him. But what Adora had said to her had been floating in her thoughts for so long. 

_“I’m tired, I’m so tired of fighting all the time.”_

And really, who wouldn’t be? Her friend hadn’t known a moment of peace for as long as she lived. Her family was killed in battle. Her childhood years were spent running and hiding until finding a safe place in Bright Moon. Her adopted mother died a horrible violent death without Adora even getting to say goodbye. Then she had to endure Shadow Weaver’s _‘loving’_ care. As much as Adora tried, it seemed the universe was against her. 

_I’m so tired of fighting all the time._

Ever since she’d said it, Glimmer realized that she was tired, too. Tired of arguing with everybody to let her see her father. Tired of struggling to have a place in her own kingdom. Her mother had always prepared her to take over the throne, with or _without_ a King next to her, but now it all felt like it was being taken away from her. Even if, God forbid, something happened to her father, Shadow Weaver would surely take over. 

Glimmer was wandering about the hallways, daydreaming about the day Bow would finally come for, when she passed a window and noticed it was raining.

_Oh no._

Glimmer turned on her heel and sprinted to Adora’s room. She knocked on the door a couple of times, and when she didn’t hear a response, she went inside.

“Adora!?”

Just as she’d predicted, Adora was on the floor, unconscious, trembling. Glimmer didn’t know what to do. Usually, when Adora was like this, Angella would ask Glimmer to leave, and she took care of Adora. What now?

_What would mom do?_

Glimmer sat next to Adora and pulled her head into her lap. 

“Shh… Adora… Adora?”

Adora, still trembling, let out a noise that was somewhere between a gasp and a shriek.

Glimmer tried to shake Adora. It was the wrong thing to do, apparently, because Adora lashed out, screaming. She smacked Glimmer’s hands and face away, so Glimmer carefully crawled back to give Adora space.

“Adora, can you hear me? It’s okay, you’re safe, you’re with me…”

Glimmer kept calling to her, and slowly, Adora stopped trembling. Her eyes opened.

“MARA!” she shot up from the floor, gasping.

It took Adora a couple of seconds to register where she was. Glimmer came closer to her and laid a hand on her shoulder. 

Adora let out a quiet sob for a second, before turning into Glimmer’s embrace and allowing herself to cry. 

Glimmer tried to comfort Adora as best as she could. The whole thing felt so familiar, it reminded Glimmer of the first night Adora spent with them, the night of Mara’s death.

Adora was just two years older than Glimmer at the time. Glimmer remembered a huge thunderstorm raging outside when Angella opened her bedroom door and had two guards carry in the unconscious princess. They laid the young girl on Glimmer’s bed and left the room. Glimmer went to Adora’s side and sat next to her. Adora’s breathing was shallow but fast, she was covered in mud and dirt and blood, and it was staining the sheets and her clothes, but Glimmer couldn’t find herself to care, too concerned about the state of her best friend.

Glimmer requested that Adora stay in her room that night, not wanting Adora to be alone when she inevitably woke up. Angella agreed and stayed with her, as well. That same night, Adora woke up screaming Mara’s name, just like she had now, and Glimmer comforted her until she fell asleep, just like she was doing now. Adora would fall into this sort of state _every time_ it rained, whether it was a light shower or a loud storm.

Adora never talked about what she saw in her dreams when this happened to her. Glimmer wasn’t sure she wanted to know. From the amount of blood Adora was covered in, most of it not even her own, Glimmer was more than okay with never bringing it up again. 

Adora was now asleep in Glimmer’s lap. Glimmer felt her heart drop again, thinking about Adora’s marriage.

Surely, it would rain in the Fright Zone. It was unavoidable. 

What if the person she was marrying wasn’t kind enough to deal with Adora’s trauma as patiently as this? What if they just threw her aside at the first sign of anything wrong with her? Oh God, what if they had her sent to a mental asylum?

Glimmer started to choke up, and forced herself to calm down. 

_No. No. Catra wouldn’t do that. Dad would never send Adora to someone that would do that. And you saw how Queen Ash helped Adora when she started panicking that day. Scorpia even told me that Catra was one of the kindest people she knew. I trust Scorpia. I trust Dad, even if he is… distant. I can trust Catra._

Glimmer reached for a pillow that was on Adora’s couch. She put her own head under it and fell asleep in Adora’s room. 

***

_Catra, two days before the wedding_

The idea of marriage seemed a little less scary.

Catra was taking a walk through town, to gather her thoughts. 

She was about to be married. In just two days. 

Suddenly, there would be someone else in her life.

Someone she would share everything with. Someone she _could_ share everything with.

As close as she was to Scorpia and Bow, she could never completely tell them everything.

Scorpia, bless her heart, couldn’t keep a secret for the life of her. Besides, Scorpia and her had sort of a rocky relationship since the day they met. And in the last couple of weeks, they’d fallen out of touch almost completely. The only thing Scorpia had said to her after meeting Adora was, “she’s your type”, with a sly smile, and nothing else.

She couldn’t just tell Bow everything, despite him being a nobleman. Catra trusted him with her life, and she had no doubt that Bow only ever had pure intentions when he asked her how her work was going. But some things needed to be kept to herself, in the privacy of her own mind. 

And by _everything,_ Catra didn’t just mean her work. 

She was going to have a _wife._

 _A wife I can share everything with. My thoughts, my secrets, or even small things, like my favourite flowers that grow on the edges of the woods, my favourite song that I learned how to play on the piano, my favourite spots at the top of the caste… A wife I’ll have to share my bedroom with. Oh my god. A wife I’ll have to share_ myself _with._

 _A wife I can share love with?_

It was all so strange to think about. Catra had never even been _in_ love before. She was starting to wonder if she even knew _how_ to love someone. 

_Bow was right,_ Catra laughed to herself. _My life_ is _pretty dull._

Catra stopped at a fountain set up in the middle of the town square. 

_You know what…_

Catra took out a coin. She didn’t believe in wishing wells, she wasn’t that superstitious, but Catra understood that often if you _think_ something is meant to happen, you subconsciously try your best to make sure it happens. 

Catra still had no clue what kind of a person Princess Adora was. She was sure that despite their differences, Ash would’ve made sure Adora was good for her. If not for her, then at least for the kingdom. Catra had asked around about her. She hadn’t had a chance to look at a picture or anything, and the people she asked didn’t know Adora personally, but from all the stories she’d heard about the princess, she seemed to be a gentle, loving person, always considerate of others and offering to help anyone in any way. 

Adora was surely going to be amazing. 

Catra actually found herself looking _forward_ to her wedding. She was excited. Catra found herself wondering whether or not Adora was as excited as she was. After all, Catra was a complete stranger to her, as well. What if Adora was also concerned as to what kind of person Catra was?

_Adora, wherever you are, I hope you know I’m going to try my best to be a good wife._

Catra threw the coin into the water, and made a silent wish to anyone that would be listening.

***

_Adora, two days before the wedding_

Adora felt a sudden sense of calm.

No, it wasn’t calm.

But she wasn’t tense, either.

It was…

The absence of anxiety.

It felt nice.

It allowed Adora to daydream.

What would Catra look like?

Adora knew she would be a Scorpioni, and she figured she must have some resemblance to her sister, Scorpia, and her mother, Ash. Adora tried to picture a tall, buff woman, with silver hair. 

But because of her name, _Cat_ ra, Adora couldn’t help but picture the girl she’d met at the ball. Hopefully, Adora would meet her again someday, and be able to explain to her that she wasn’t with the Horde, and that it was all a misunderstanding. 

Adora was thinking about her wedding. She wasn’t expecting anything big. Someone had come to prepare her for her dress, and they had explained to her that the King had requested a highly traditional wedding. Adora would wear a veil, and her wife would remove it. There would be no reception, Adora would simply sign a paper in one room, and Catra would sign it in another. And because there had been threats of the Horde attacking Bright Moon, it was decided it would be better if none of the other allied kingdoms made an appearance, so there would be no audience, just Adora’s family and Catra’s family.

It barely felt like a marriage. Adora had only attended one once, with Mara, the wedding of Spinnerella and Netossa. They had an engagement party, a bridal shower, a rehearsal dinner, the actual wedding, and a small get together of just close friends after the wedding. It was an occasion full of joy that held some of Adora’s most treasured memories. This marriage felt nothing like that.

Still, Adora couldn’t help but feel a little excitement at the prospect of _leaving._ Glimmer would be happier without Adora to screw her life up, King Micah could probably spend more time with his daughter if he wasn’t so worried about Adora, Adora wouldn’t strain any more of Bright Moon’s resources, and she would finally, _finally_ be free of Shadow Weaver. 

Plus, the fact that she would have a _wife…_ a life partner.

Adora asked Mara, once, what a life partner was.

Well, she didn’t really ask that, exactly. She had asked something much more childish, and Mara had to sit her down and explain to her that _no, Adora, I’m not your wife._

_“But, I wanna spend the rest of my life with you!”_

_Mara laughed. “And you will, Adora. But that’s not what a life partner means. A wife, or husband - but I have a feeling you’re gonna want a wife - is someone you spend the rest of your life with, taking care of each other, sharing a home with each other, loving each other - “_

_“But isn’t that what we do?”_

_Mara had picked Adora up and swung her around, kissing her on the forehead. “I guess so, kid. But that’s not what..” she chuckled. “A wife is someone you love in a different way than you love other people. It’s someone who… you’ll always stay with them, no matter what. Someone that, you’d do anything for, even if it hurt like hell to do so.. The person who, I don’t know, Adora, I don’t know how to explain this!” Mara threw both herself and Adora onto their bed. Adora noticed Mara clenching her eyes, the way she did when she didn’t want to let Adora know she was upset._

_“Adora,” Mara sounded tired. “A life partner is someone you love. And I mean, truly love, not just sort of like. It’s the person that will make you feel like screaming at the top of your lungs, but also make you feel like you’re floating in happiness.” Mara turned to Adora. “Do you understand?”_

_Adora thought about it for a second and scrunched her eyebrows together. “No.”_

_Mara laughed again and pulled Adora into her side. “You’ll understand it someday, Adora. When you meet that person, and I know you will, god I hope you recognize them. Listen, Adora, when you find that person… someone who, the mere sight of them makes you smile, and the absence of them makes your eyes burn, you hold on to them, and never let go… got it?”_

_Adora shifted so she was laying more comfortably in Mara’s arms. “If I find someone that can make me smile, but also cry, I need to keep them… Uh, okay. I’ll get it when I’m older, I guess.” Mara breathed out some laughter. “Mara… if you’re not my life partner, then, what are you?”_

_“I’m… I guess, I’m like your caretaker. Your guardian. I keep you safe.”_

_“Will my wife keep me safe?”_

_“Of course she will.”_

_“Mara, did you have a life partner?”_

_“...yeah.”_

_“Oh. Where are they?”_

_“They, uh, they had to leave me… like your parents had to leave you.”_

_“Oh.” Adora hugged Mara tighter. They both relaxed, falling asleep._

_“Mara?”_

_“Yes, Adora?”_

_“Why did they have to leave?”_

_“I’m not sure, kid. Sometimes people leave, even if they don’t want to.”_

_“Mara? Will you leave me?”_

_“Oh, Adora… I promise, no one’s going to make me leave you without a fight.”_

_“And you always win, right!?”_

_“Of course I do.”_

Adora stopped thinking about that memory. What a lie that was.

_“I’m sorry, Adora.”_

Adora went back to daydreaming about her future wife. She didn’t want to think about Mara anymore. She wanted to think about her wife. Her life partner. The person that she would love like she had never loved anyone else. The thought made her giddy with excitement. For the first time in weeks, Adora genuinely smiled.

***

_Catra, one day before the wedding_

“Excuse me, General, what is the name of your household?”

Catra blinked at the visitor standing in her courtyard. “Uh, what?”

Cyra was running across the yard to kick the ball back. Catra stopped it with one foot and looked at the stranger properly.

“His Majesty, the King of Bright Moon, has requested that Princess Adora of Eternia take your name after the marriage. Her Majesty, the Queen of the Fright Zone, has requested that you, Princess Katrina, make a name for yourself outside of the Fright Zone, as the title of the Fright Zone shall go to her firstborn once she inherits the throne. When you sign the marriage certificate, what shall we name you and Princess Adora?”

Catra’s mind was racing. 

She had been kicked out of the Fright Zone, yes, but up until this point, it hadn’t really settled in yet. She no longer introduced herself as _Princess Katrina of the Fright Zone_. Ever since she was able to, she had asked anyone close to her to refer to her as Catra. In formal events, she would say General Catra of Bright Moon. Still, it felt wrong, knowing that after her marriage, she wouldn’t belong to the Fright Zone.

 _Whatever_ , Catra thought. _It’s not like I ever belonged there in the first place._

“General Catra?”

Catra looked at Cyra, who was waiting, tail swishing impatiently, and then at her visitor, who was looking a little exasperated. 

“Apologies, I’m sure this is very short notice, but I need an answer immediately. The wedding is tomorrow, and the papers need to be ready by then. So, if I may once again ask, what shall we refer to you as?”

Catra thought about it. Before she was given the title of a Princess, she was just a scrawny runt living amongst the Horde. She wanted nothing more to do with those bastards, other than wiping them off the face of the planet. She sighed, infuriated at the stranger standing on her lawn and tapping their hoof impatiently.

“You pick,” she snapped.

“Excuse me?”

“I said, you pick. I have no idea. Give me an idea.”

“Well,” they sighed, “Typically, we’d say they belong to their town, or, for people of noble stature, we’d say which house they belong to… what is the name of your manor?”

Catra tried to remember. When someone had asked her what name she wanted to give to the plot of land she had bought, she had let Cyra choose. The name was a little ridiculous, but Catra could never bring herself to deny Cyra anything. Catra pinched her forehead and told them to write down the name of the manor.

***

_Adora, one day before the wedding_

Adora was packing her stuff.

She didn’t have much to begin with, anyways.

Her clothes, which only consisted of the occasional dress Angella would have made for her to attend an event, three of her favourite jackets that Glimmer insisted were identical save for the colour, and some random shirts that Adora would wear around town, had already been delivered to Red Moon Manor, General Catra’s home in Bright Moon.

Other than those, Adora’s books, a few tokens from her childhood, and some presents she’d received as a wedding gift from allied kingdoms, she didn’t have to sort through much. Everything else she owned was stuff that would surely be given to her in her new home.

Adora was sorting through some of her old books, deciding what she should take with her and what she could give as gifts to the children she used to play with on days she could escape her caretaker, when the woman herself came into Adora’s room. Adora immediately dropped the book she was holding and rose to her feet. 

Shadow Weaver never entered her room. She’d always send one of her servants to fetch Adora and have her brought to her own chambers. She only entered Adora’s rooms on _special_ occasions. 

Her room was her safe space, and it filled Adora with dread knowing that this was the first time Shadow Weaver had been alone with her since the night of Queen Angella’s death. 

_Is she going to taint my last memory of my safe space with another ‘disciplinary lesson’?_

Adora trembled as Shadow Weaver approached her. She clenched her fists and her jaw to stop her shaking, not wanting Shadow Weaver to point out her nervousness as more evidence that Adora was useless when it came to… well, _anything._

“A _do_ ra,” she cooed, using the voice she only used on Adora to give her a false sense of security. “What are you doing?”

Adora stayed silent. 

“Why are all these books astray?” Shadow Weaver asked. Adora didn’t want to speak. She couldn’t remember why. 

“Adora.” Her tone was harsh now. “I asked you a question. When someone speaks to you, you speak back. You would do well to remember this when you go to your wife’s home tomorrow.” Shadow Weaver reached out and grabbed Adora’s chin, tilting her face up. “General’s expect their partner’s to be well-behaved, and if they are _not…”_

Shadow Weaver let go of her face and moved away from Adora, walking around the room to inspect it. The implication she was giving about what would happen was clear to Adora. She swallowed the lump in her throat and talked herself down.

_She’s just scaring you. Answer her question, and she’ll leave you alone._

“I, um, I was just packing books for the kids…” Adora wanted to explain, but Shadow Weaver interrupted her with a nauseating revelation.

“Oh, did someone tell you about General Catra’s child? I wanted it to be a surprise.”

Adora felt something in her chest hurt. It wasn’t an unfamiliar feeling. 

“Ah, well. I suppose I may as well tell you the whole story now,” Shadow Weaver, satisfied with her inspection, returned to where Adora was standing. “General Catra has a young daughter. She’s only recently started living with her in Red Moon Manor.”

Oh, yes, the feeling of absolute dread that was specifically replacing any hope that Adora may have had. Shadow Weaver trailed over to the table where Adora had been making stacks of books. 

“I’m not sure what happened, but I’ve heard rumours that her previous partner perhaps wasn’t fulfilling her needs… so she disposed of them.”

Shadow Weaver ran her fingers over Adora’s favourite books. Adora felt anger rise, then fall back down as she realized, she couldn’t _do_ anything. 

“Remember this, Adora.” Shadow Weaver waited for Adora to look her in the eye. She picked up the book she had her hand on. “Life is not like these fairy tales. Do not expect to fall in love with this _Catra_ , or even have her love you back. That’s not what your life is for. You are going there to fulfill your duty as a Princess. This marriage is very beneficial for the King, for Bright Moon. After everything we’ve done for _you_ , Eternian, it’s the least you could do.”

Shadow Weaver handed the book to Adora, who just stood there dumbly, processing what she’d just been told, and left the room. 

Adora let the tears that had welled up in her eyes fall again. 

What was she _thinking?_

Catra could never love her. She was just a tool. A pawn in this never ending game of politics. It was a miracle she was even alive.

Even _if_ she had any hope left of Catra loving her, it was squashed by the fact that Catra had apparently had a partner before, someone she loved enough to have a _child_ with, and if that was the case - what chance could Adora possibly have to take her place as Catra’s wife? She could never replace the parent of Catra’s child. 

Adora clutched the book tightly to her chest. It was her favourite bedtime story, Mara used to read it for her, and after Mara was gone, Angella used to read it to her, even well after Adora had grown and was capable of reading it herself. It was the story of a powerful princess who defied the destiny that was given to her and grew up deciding her own fate. Mara used to say Adora was just like her, she had escaped the destiny of a lost princess and was going to take charge of her own life. She used to say that just like She-Ra fought the monsters in the story and escaped the traps set out for her by the evil witch, Adora would grow up and get through every hurdle and burden that would be placed on her and find her happy ending.

For a moment, Adora thought it could be true. If she could just hold out ‘til the wedding, she could have a happy ending with Catra. How foolish. Catra could never be hers.

Adora didn’t feel like sorting through the books anymore. She just threw all of them into the “going-away” boxes, and went to hand them to Glimmer. 

“Are you sure you wanna give all of these away? Some are from, you know, your childhood. Don’t you wanna keep them around?”

“I’m done reading them. There’s no point.”

Adora went back to her room.

_No point._

***

_Shadow Weaver, the night after the wedding_

The most powerful person in Bright Moon poured herself a glass of wine to celebrate her victory.

King Micah remained blissfully unaware of the truth. In a few months, she could convince him to have Glimmer married off to some other kingdom. Perhaps the girl from Salineas, they were quite a powerful family, and in recent times had proved to be useful in taking down the Horde. After she finally got rid of that insufferable Princess, she would finally have Micah completely under her control. 

Thinking of princesses, she thought of Adora.

The Princess of Eternia. Such a disappointment. 

It truly was a shame, yes. Shadow Weaver thought she could be incredibly useful when it came to uniting Etheria. Shadow Weaver was old enough to remember how powerful Eternia was. It was her belief that if anyone could bring peace and unity to Etheria, it would be the royal family of Eternia. But then the Horde grew bigger and bigger, and the first thing they did was topple the Kingdom of Eternia. 

When Shadow Weaver heard the news that one of them had survived and had taken refuge in Bright Moon, using her old student’s new position as King, she placed herself near the Princess, to see if this Adora was capable of what Shadow Weaver wanted.

But that fool Mara refused to let Shadow Weaver anywhere near the Princess. She said Adora’s only purpose was to be a child. What a waste of royal blood. Shadow Weaver hoped that once Mara was out of the picture, she could take charge of Adora herself and make sure Adora met her fullest potential. But of course, Queen Angella insisted that Adora be kept in the Castle of Bright Moon until she was married, not letting Shadow Weaver take her back to the ruins of Eternia to raise Adora as her own. So, Shadow Weaver had to train Adora under the watchful eyes of Her Majesty. 

She had so many expectations of Adora, and all of them turned out to be disappointing. A failure. That’s what Shadow Weaver thought of when she thought of how _powerful_ Adora could’ve been. If Adora had been as strong as Shadow Weaver had thought, she would have taken down the Horde and been ruling Eternia by now. 

At least she was useful for something. 

Shadow Weaver had taken it upon herself to bring peace to Etheria. To do that, she would need control of the throne of Bright Moon, which currently belonged to King Micah, Queen Angella, and Princess Glimmer. She would need to make sure King Micah was the only person in charge of Bright Moon, and then make sure _she_ was the only person in control of Micah.

So, she distanced Glimmer from Micah, and arranged for Angella’s demise. It was fairly simple. Have someone coerce Adora into leaving the safety of the kingdom, inform Angella that Adora had been taken by the Horde, have _her_ leave the safety of the kingdom to go looking for her, and have both Adora and Angella out of the picture by nightfall. 

But of course, she hadn’t accounted for General Catra. One of the few leaders in Bright Moon that was loyal to the _Rebellion_ , and not to Shadow Weaver. Unbeknownst to her, Catra had had officers raid the area where Shadow Weaver had sent Adora. And so, instead of reports of Adora’s dead body, Adora’s trembling figure was thrown at Shadow Weaver’s feet. Shadow Weaver had growled at Adora, angrier at her failed plan than at Adora’s survival. 

There was no way she could keep Adora around anymore. If word got out that _the_ Adora, _the_ Princess of Eternia, had almost been taken by the Horde, there would no doubt be an investigation into _how,_ and more importantly, _who_ could have conspired a plan like that. 

Shadow Weaver was quite proud of the tale she’d spun. She’d arranged to have Adora brought back to Bright Moon and had everyone involved in her arrest be sworn to secrecy of what had happened. No one would know that Adora had been accused of treason and murder. She’d told Micah that Adora had snuck out to get some of the new narcotics that had been circulating their streets. It wasn’t that hard to convince him, as Adora _was_ partially intoxicated that day. Shadow Weaver convinced him that Adora was an addict, and all those times she had those silly _fits_ of hers were a side effect of withdrawal.

She was hoping to get Micah mad enough at Adora to have her exiled, Adora could finally return to Eternia. Instead, Micah decided that it was time for Adora to leave Bright Moon, not escorted by guards, but _taken_ … on her _wedding day._

It was ridiculous. But Micah had said it was to honor his wife’s wishes. And Shadow Weaver couldn’t figure out a way to deny him that, not without letting her disdain for the late Queen show.

But in a surprising turn of events, Shadow Weaver was informed that General Catra was unwed, and her mother was looking for proposals.

It was an enticing idea… if she had a familial relationship with General Catra, perhaps she could have Catra on her side in any political decisions. 

But, no. Adora would be alone with Catra, if she revealed what had actually happened to her that night… It was too risky…

Unless.

Shadow Weaver poured herself another glass of wine.

She made _sure_ Adora wouldn’t _dare_ repeat the events of that day to anyone else. She told Adora it was her fault Angella was gone and threatened to reveal to Micah that Adora had actually been held for questioning of the _murders_ that had taken place in Erelandia a few days ago. There was no way Adora would want Micah to think she was a traitor. She’d seen the anguish on Adora’s face when the officers had announced in front of her, Glimmer, and everyone else present at the army base that Adora was guilty of treason. Shadow Weaver had told the officers she’d take care of Adora herself to take her back to Bright Moon to avoid an incident, and _persuaded_ them into getting rid of any evidence that tonight had happened at all.

Perhaps she had been a little too harsh on Adora. But it was for her own good.

Really, she was doing all of Etheria a favour. 

The sooner Shadow Weaver was in charge, the sooner they would defeat the Horde.

Sure, under King Micah’s control, Etheria would survive, but under Shadow Weaver’s control, Etherians would _flourish._

It would all really be worth it in the end.

Adora and Catra’s wedding was tomorrow. Shadow Weaver had made sure of everything. Even _if_ someday Adora had the courage to reveal the truth about what had happened that night, she wouldn’t risk telling the truth and having her marriage ruined, not after meeting Catra and realizing how loyal she was to the Rebellion. If Catra thought Adora was a traitor, she would have her killed immediately. Adora and Catra not getting to meet before their actual wedding night was a problem, but one that worked in her favour. Adora would spend her first meeting with Catra during their _wedding night_ , and then it would be too late for anyone to undo their marriage. That was the way of the royals, even if it was a little outdated for Shadow Weaver’s taste. 

Shadow Weaver finished her second glass and decided to go to bed. 

King Micah sought her counsel more than ever, now. Queen Angella was dead. Glimmer was shut off from everyone else in the kingdom, and Adora was no longer her problem, seeing as now she belonged to Catra. Catra, her biggest threat, now turned into her family, in some way. 

_No one can stand in my way, now. Especially not Adora and Catra._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the marriage is next chapter, yes shadow weaver is a bitch, yes there are some unanswered questions but maybe... they will be resolved
> 
> please tell me if it sucks!!!
> 
> or if I should add any warnings or anything!!!
> 
> you can come yell at me [here](https://sarcastic-pun-master.tumblr.com/) if u want :(


	3. meri khushyoon seh kehta hai (yeh kahaan saath rehta hai?)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ...meri khushyoon se kehta hai,   
> yeh kahaan saath rehta hai?
> 
> _and you said to my happiness (that it would come back someday), so where is it?_
> 
> ***  
> They get married. Catra makes a decision, and Adora loses.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oof i read and re-read this so many times... i actually hate it a lot? i always hate the beginning of stuff like this and prefer the ending. anyways, enjoy.

_ Adora, the night of the wedding _

She was wearing her wedding dress. It was a baby blue with gold lacing around her arms and waist. She’d only seen it once before putting it on.

Adora wore a veil so thick she could barely make out any faces. It was suffocating. What was even more suffocating was what had happened to her before she wore it. 

Shadow Weaver had entered her room. It was completely bare, save for the furniture. Adora’s belongings had been sent to Red Moon and Catra had apparently ordered her things to be kept as they were until Adora arrived so she could decide for herself where she wanted everything to go. That little bit of information, that Catra had given Adora the dignity of choice, at least concerning her belongings, helped calm her down enough to enter the state of not-anxious once again. 

That state went out the window as soon as Shadow Weaver walked in and dismissed both Glimmer and the maid that was helping Adora into her dress. 

“Seeing as there is no one else to do so, I figured I must be the one to send you off.”

Adora was confused.

“Um, King Micah - “

“Will not be walking you down the aisle, I am afraid. Not that there will be an aisle. I am simply here to walk you to your car, that will take you to Red Moon. Catra has signed the papers. Let me be the first to congratulate you on your marriage, Adora of Red Moon.”

Adora didn’t really know what to think. She officially belonged to somewhere else. Not that she had ever belonged to the Kingdom of Eternia, anyways. 

“Adora. Let me give you a bit of advice, as a wedding gift.” Shadow Weaver tilted her head up by her chin. Adora promised herself that after tonight, she would _never_ let Shadow Weaver touch her again. If she were lucky, General Catra would never force Adora anywhere _near_ Shadow Weaver again. If she were really lucky, Catra would never force Adora to do anything.

“Remember what I told you yesterday.” Shadow Weaver led Adora out of her - no longer hers, she reminded herself _-_ room, through the hallway. 

“This marriage is very beneficial for the kingdom. Do not do anything to jeopardize it.” 

Shadow Weaver led Adora down the stairs. “If word gets out about what happened to you the night of Queen Angella’s death, the General may well have you killed.”

Shadow Weaver brought Adora to the entrance of the castle. “For your own good, remain silent and obedient in that household.” She pulled down Adora’s veil, covering her face. Good. Adora wasn’t sure she could pretend to smile at the moment. “Take care, Adora.”

With that, Adora was taken outside, her hand was given from Shadow Weaver’s to Catra’s, and they left. 

There were conversations, whispered goodbyes and congratulations from Glimmer and from Scorpia, words exchanged from one family to the other, but to be honest, Adora had checked out of reality ever since that veil had been slipped over her head. Shadow Weaver’s words and actions kept replaying in her hand, and she wasn’t sure when she’d started to panic, but she’d stopped the second Catra’s hand was in hers.

For one thing, _hand._ Not pincer. Catra wasn’t a Scorpioni. 

People were talking, there was music playing and cheers from the few people that had attended, but Adora was mostly focused on Catra’s hand in hers. It was warm. Catra had fur. Definitely not a Scorpioni. Catra helped Adora into the car, and Adora was confused. Catra was a different species, yes… but what - 

Catra squeezed Adora’s hand in an affectionate gesture, and Adora’s confusion melted away again. Adora squeezed back, twice. She could hear Catra huff out a laugh. Catra started giving directions to the driver. Adora tried to say something, but what was she supposed to say? _“Hi, I’m Adora, sorry I’m not being very talkative but I’m terrified”_. Adora just let herself sag against the seat, still holding Catra’s hand like it was a lifeline, which it basically was, because in that moment, the only thing convincing Adora that she had left, that she was safe at least from Shadow Weaver, that this wasn’t a fever dream was the feeling of Catra’s thumb rubbing over Adora’s knuckles.

Then Catra let go, Adora felt the urge to cry again. _No, wait, please don’t leave me._ But Catra said to her, “I’m sorry to keep you waiting, I’ll come back to you in just a minute, okay?”, and she sounded so kind _,_ so soft _,_ that Adora felt at ease again. 

“Okay,” she said, her voice still weak with disuse.

And now here she was, standing in her new room. The guard had opened the door for her and Adora had carefully walked in. She still couldn’t really seem, so once the door shut behind her, she pushed the veil up to take a few breaths and get a look around. The room was also pretty bare, save for a desk with things scattered about on it and a couch in the far end of the room. A high window was next to the bed, where there was also a small nightstand with a drawer. She laid back on what she figured was Catra’s bed, pulling her veil back over her face, and found she was once again unable to make out anything clearly. She started taking a few deep calming breaths.

Adora wasn’t anxious, not the way she had felt earlier with the ghost of Shadow Weaver’s hands on her, but she was nervous. It was her wedding night. To someone she had never even met. She didn’t even stop to consider if Catra would _like_ her, too busy just being glad to be out of Bright Moon. What was she supposed to expect? Was Catra expecting something? Maybe she could fall asleep and skip any awkwardness. But then someone entered the room and Adora felt her heart rate accelerate. She wanted it to be Catra, she didn’t want it to be Catra… She didn’t know what she wanted.

At least, she knew she wanted the veil off of her face again so she could see and _breathe_. She quickly sat up and brought her legs over the bed, pretending that she _hadn’t_ been trying to take a nap on what was supposed to be one of the most important days of her life. She knocked down a pillow and swore under her breath, too tired to filter anything. Someone laughed at her. That cackle, it was… _familiar._

“Hey, Adora.”

Adora stiffened. That voice was also familiar. But… it couldn’t be, right? Adora gave herself the benefit of the doubt. There was no way. Adora was just imagining things. 

“Um, hi. I’m your wife, I guess?” Catra said nervously, pacing in front of Adora.

"Hi.” Adora said, equally tense. She started smoothing out the sheets under her hands before grabbing them and scrunching them up again. She could slightly see under her veil now, could at least see two bare feet padding the floor in front of her.

Catra whispered something under her breath, stopped her pacing, and sat next to Adora, picking up the pillow and putting it between them. After a while, seemingly having gathered her thoughts, she took in a deep breath and started talking again. “Hey, Adora,” she repeated. “I’ve heard a lot about you, you know.”

Adora tilted her head at her. “Really? Like what?” She was smiling now. Catra fidgeted with the pillow between them.

“Oh, you know, basic stuff. How kind you are, how _beautiful_ you are... “ Catra laughed again. Adora felt a little amused, too. She had actually asked around about her, and Adora couldn’t really picture how that would work out, trying to subtly gather information about her. “Seriously, the first thing anyone would tell me when I asked about Princess Adora, is how attractive you are.”

Catra drifted off, apparently not knowing where else to go with the conversation. Adora wished had something to say to her. The only thing that came to mind was, _‘if you’re from the Fright Zone, why aren’t you a scorpion person?’_ , but that felt a little rude to ask five minutes after meeting.

Instead, Adora joked, “Do you think I’ll live up to the stories? Don’t wanna shatter your hopes or anything."

Catra chuckled. “Don’t worry. I’ve also been told that your exactly my type. If anything, _you_ should be the one worried about shattered hopes.”

“Why? Are you a terrible person or something?”

“Hm, I tend to steal the blankets at night, so as long as you don’t mind sleeping in the cold you should be fine.”

They were laughing together. Some of the tenseness between them was fading. Catra relaxed and stopped fidgeting, Adora let go of the sheets beneath her and placed both hands in her lap. During a comfortable silence between them, Adora could think.

Adora could tell that Catra wasn’t that much older, they were the same age. Catra also didn’t have a rough, hard voice, like one somebody would hear barking orders at soldiers on the battlefield, like Adora was expecting her to have. Catra was even sort of… nice. Adora thought, _if this is who I’m stuck with forever, I think I’ll be okay._

“I know,” Catra broke the silence, dropping her voice to a softer tone, “It’s kind of weird that we didn’t ever meet or get to know each other or anything.” She moved a little closer to Adora. “But, um, I’d really like it if we got to talk now, if that’s what you want? I don’t want you to feel like you have to, or anything.”

It was such a simple thing to say, but Adora felt her chest burst with happiness. Adora moved herself so she was sitting in front of Catra. She still couldn’t see Catra’s face, but she could see Catra was wearing a suit matching her dress. Catra took her silence as… _something._

What Adora wanted to say was _yes absolutely please this is already better than what I was expecting just keep talking to me like this and maybe we can be friends -_

“Um… Adora?” Catra offered her hand. She took it, and Catra brought Adora’s hand in her lap, taking it out of Adora’s sight. For a second, Adora felt scared - but then Catra was sliding something on her ring finger and giving her hand back to her. Adora stared at the simple silver ring on her hand. Catra wore an identical one on hers. 

“I know its not the best, but it was kind of a last-minute thing. From me. To you. As a gift. Just as, you know, two people that are married. You don’t have to, I mean, I’m not expecting anything. If rings aren’t really your thing, you don’t have to wear it.”

Adora twisted the ring. It was nice, actually. Both the ring and the thought. Adora lifted her head in Catra’s direction. Catra cleared her throat. “Um, do you want me to…?”

Adora nodded. “Yes, please. I can’t breathe.”

Catra laughed again, then, the moment of truth: Catra shifted so she was right in Adora’s space and raised her hand to lift Adora’s veil off.

They both looked each other in the eye. Adora’s smile fell of her face at the same time as Catra’s, and she felt all her dreams come crashing down on herself. Any happiness she had was replaced with utter heartache.

Catra was her _._ The girl from the ball. The same girl Adora had ever pictured herself with.

The very same girl that thought Adora was a Horde soldier, that had seen Adora in the worst state of her life, that thought Adora was a criminal and should have had the same sentence as anyone caught with the Horde. 

Adora had gotten married someone that would wish her dead. 

***

_ Catra, the night of the wedding _

The wedding was uneventful.

Ash told Catra they didn’t want to throw a wedding with much grandeur so close to Lynda’s death. They were still grieving, after all. So, there was no party or event or anything. Catra signed their marriage certificate, glancing at the part where Adora had signed earlier, and then the certificate was taken away, someone congratulated Catra, and that was it.

It took twenty minutes, barely.

Fifteen of which were just spent waiting for Adora to come down after she had signed the papers.

It gave Scorpia a chance to tell Catra something important.

“Listen, when me and Mom went to visit, Adora seemed a bit… scared of us. I think she was really intimidated by us because we were strangers. Just, be gentle with her, okay? She’s really sheltered.”

Catra couldn’t help but laugh. Scorpia obviously meant with her _feelings,_ but Catra had a feeling Adora would be intimidated for _other reasons._ Besides, its not like Catra was going to be all standoffish with _Adora._ They were gonna spend the rest of their lives together, what was the point of being all reserved and cold with her? Catra was determined to make a good first impression on someone, for once in her life.

The doors of the castle finally opened, and her new wife stepped through. She was wearing a thick golden veil that matched Catra’s shoulder cape, and she couldn’t see her face. In fact, she doubted that Adora could see anything from her side, either. So when Adora’s caretaker handed her off to Catra, Catra was careful to guide her into the car that she was sure Adora couldn’t see. 

On the ride home, Catra didn’t say anything, not knowing what to say. Adora didn’t start a conversation, either, so Catra just stayed silent. Instead, whenever she felt Adora tense up, she would squeeze her hand.

She let go of Adora’s hand once they entered Red Moon Manor. She heard Adora’s breathing pick up when she let go and thinking that Adora might be scared to be left alone, assured her that she was coming back soon and asked one of the guards to help Adora to her room. Ash and Scorpia had gone back to the Fright Zone, and Catra didn’t really have anyone else at the manor to celebrate with, which felt like a bad decision around now. It would just be her and Adora, which was… nerve-wracking.

Catra didn’t really get along with many people, but she’d spoken to Scorpia again when she had come by to pick Cyra up to have her visit the Fright Zone, and Scorpia had assured her that Adora was exactly the type of person Catra liked. She’d said it with certainty.

But what if Adora didn’t like her?

Catra left to tuck Cyra into bed and say goodnight, before going to meet Adora for the very first time. Catra took a deep breath, and walked into her room, not knowing what to do, next. She should try talking, right?

Adora didn’t really respond. Catra fumbled, not knowing where to go with the conversation.

_Damn, I should have practiced this._

She made a few light jokes, then they fell into a silence. Catra wondered if she should leave to give Adora some privacy to rest… the Princess had been trying to sleep, after all. Instead, she asked for Adora’s hand and slipped a ring over her finger. It wasn’t required by any means, but Catra wanted to at least have _something_ a normal wedding would have.

She started rambling. She didn’t mean to, god knows where it even came from, but now Catra was nervous that Adora would hate it for whatever reason. But then, Catra saw Adora twisting the ring, thoughtfully. Then Adora raised her head, facing Catra. At least, she would be if it weren’t for the thick veil.

“Um, do you want me to…?”

It was an outdated tradition, but maybe Adora was a traditional type of girl?

“Yes, please. I can’t breathe.” Catra felt light laughter bubble up, and lifted the veil up unceremoniously with one hand.

Catra couldn’t believe her eyes. 

It was her. The stupid, traitorous princess that Catra had dared to dream of. Catra’s hands clenched around the veil.

“You?” she growled. Any trace of kindness she had been presenting had been replaced with anger. She could see it in Adora’s eyes that she was shocked as well. As soon as Catra had growled at her, the shock was replaced with fear.

“Catra - “ Adora’s voice was raspy and desperate.

She didn’t want to hear it. Catra pushed herself off the bed and away from Adora and glared at her, still shocked. This was Adora? This was the person she was supposedly going to fall in love with? This was her _enemy._

“I can’t _believe_ \- _you’re_ Princess Adora? You? You’re a _traitor_!”

Adora flinched, and looked away from Catra. 

_Good. I don’t want to see her._

“ _Argh!_ ” Catra grunted as she swiped her claws at the bedpost in anger. It left three claw marks. The sound of it made Adora flinch again, audibly this time. Catra pretended not to notice. She took in a few panting breaths, trying to understand what she should do. Adora was her enemy. Yet she was also her wife.

Catra turned and fled out of the room. 

_Nice going. You’ve really outdone yourself this time, Catra. You spent your whole life wanting to have nothing to do with the Horde, and now you’ve brought a Horde soldier into your own home. Wow. You really thought that you could be happy, didn’t you?_

Catra darted down the halls of the manor, no true destination in mind, and ended up in her garden, looking across the pond that was shining softly under the moons’ light. 

***

_ Adora _

Adora was tired. She was sure Catra wouldn’t come back that night, unless it was to slit her throat. Adora rubbed her neck in fear. If she was going to die, she wanted it to be quick. Not like how Mara had - 

Adora wasn’t sure how she felt at the moment. It was a horrible mixture of crestfallenness and shock. She’d been keeping it together so far because she had hope. Now, she had nothing. Nothing to lose. For a second she had felt like she was going to burst with happiness. Now she wasn’t sure if she should laugh or cry.

She shed tears for her lost parents, and laughed because it’s not like she could remember them, anyways, who was she mourning?

She cried for the loss of the only mother she ever knew, Mara, and laughed at how stupid she was as a child for believing that Mara was invincible. _How wrong was I?_ she thought while she relived the moments of Mara’s passing again and again.

She thought of Angella, the woman so kind and motherly towards her to try and lessen the pain of losing Mara. Thanks to her, Adora had never felt abandoned despite all the loss. And thanks to Adora, Angella wasn’t here today. She cried thinking Glimmer could still have _her_ mother, then chuckled at the thought of how Glimmer was free now, nothing and no one to hold her back from leaving Bright Moon. Adora buried her face in her hands and breathed deeply, berating herself for how she ever trusted that guard. She laughed at herself for being so naïve. 

Adora walked to the large window in the room, glared up at the night sky, and laughed at her miserable, tragic life. Half of it had been spent running like a thief, half of it had been spent kept like a prisoner. The few years of life she’d spent carefree were so faint. The few people that had treated Adora well were long gone. 

All she had now was a silver band around her finger, tying her to someone who hated her. 

***

_ Glimmer _

“Hey, Mara. My mom used to tell Adora this story that when people of Eternia died, they would be among the stars… or whatever. She told her that whenever she was missing you, or she felt alone, Adora could look up at the stars, and feel safe knowing that Mara was watching her. I don’t know if that’s true or if its just a legend, but if you’re up there…”

Glimmer paused. She felt stupid. 

“Adora’s gone to her new home, today. She’s stuck with someone we’ve never even met before. I wouldn’t have let it happen if I thought she was in any danger, but I figured, anywhere but here would be safe for Adora, with Shadow Weaver around and all that. But I can’t shake this feeling… like, I can’t stop worrying about her.”

Glimmer stared at the stars. They stared back.

“I just wanted to ask… I can’t always be around to help her, now. Adora won’t ever call to ask for my help, and, if Bow - _when_ Bow comes back for me, and takes me away from here, I _definitely_ won’t be around to check on her. So, if she needs help … please, Mara, will you help her?”

Glimmer felt something wet on her cheek. It was useless. Stars were useless. She wasn’t talking to anyone.

But then, out of the corner of her eye, she saw something slip near her feet. Glimmer bent down to pick the paper up. A crude coloring of the sky, not unlike the kind Adora and her would draw when they visited each other as children, had fallen from somewhere and landed near Glimmer’s feet. 

Glimmer hadn’t made one, let alone seen one, in years. 

She looked back up at the stars. They looked back at her. 

Glimmer didn’t feel so stupid anymore.

***

_Catra _

Lynda was the only person Catra used to talk to, _really_ talk to. For a long time, Catra would lash out at anyone and everyone that wasn’t Lynda. One day, Catra found herself making friends with some kids that she discovered were from the Horde. Catra spent time with them despite the fact because they understood what others her age didn’t. The world was a cruel place and the only way to survive was to be cruel right back.

She explained this to Lynda during one particularly bad fight she had gotten into, where she had lashed out at both Ash and Scorpia, who were prodding her with questions about her personal life. Why did they want to know? So they could use it against her later?

Lynda sat Catra down and explained to her that _yes,_ the world was cruel, but it was also kind. And unless Catra could show the world her kindness, the world wouldn’t show its kindness to her. So Catra tried. She tried to be nicer - or, at least, not prickly. She tried to apologize to Ash and Scorpia for the way she had treated them, and Scorpia forgave her with a hug, but Ash never did quite treat Catra the same way Lynda did.

After a while, it became a part of Catra. A hidden part, but still. Catra could be _kind._ She could be, as Bow would say, _cute._ But before Cyra, she never had a reason to be. Her entire life was spent in the military among other soldiers. And Cyra was only a temporary fix for her roughness, she knew in her heart Cyra’s mother would come looking for her someday.

Catra thought, at least with Adora, she could let that part of herself out more often. But how could she possibly be kind to a murderer? Even if Adora didn’t go kill those people herself, she had inadvertently helped them do it.

Catra spent the whole night pacing around the small pond behind her home, trying to figure out what to do. 

Catra tried not to hate anyone. Hate led to anger. Anger led to lashing out and hurting people – Catra felt she had hurt enough people as is, Scorpia being at the top of her list – and she held grudges, sure, ones that would fade once Catra either got revenge or got over it. She disliked some people, but never enough to call it _hate._

But Catra _hated_ the Horde. 

She hated them when she was a kid being kicked around and called ‘runt’. She hated them when she found out that her friends had been killed in battle because of the Horde. Catra had hated them and everything to do with the Horde since the day she put on her mask, decided that she was going to direct all her anger at the Horde, and make them pay or die trying. 

And now she was married to a Horde soldier. Not just a soldier, but a spy that had betrayed the Rebellion, had gotten innocent people killed, and for what? A drug? A temporary rush of adrenaline? Catra would’ve killed her if they had met in other circumstances. It’s what she’d wanted to do when she first saw Adora brought to her the night of the raid.

Catra _could_ kill her, now. There was nothing stopping her. 

Catra found herself staring at the pond. She saw the reflection of the stars twinkling at her, and thought of walking back into her room, where the blonde princess whose laughter she had grown addicted to was now probably crying, where the woman she’d promised herself to love was now sitting, alone, and thought of just… sinking her claws into her neck, watching the light fade from her eyes, or covering her face with a pillow as she _writhed_ for breath...

 _No. I can’t,_ she shuddered at the thought and dug her hands into the ground beneath her. The stars seemed to be judging her, like they could read her mind.

Catra couldn’t even let herself picture doing _it_ without feeling bile rise in her throat. Sure, she had sent guilty people to be executed before. She’d fought people during a battle, taking people down to be captured and interrogated. But she couldn’t just kill someone.

Especially not Adora.

Catra could just have her sent away. She knew she was guilty of treason, she’d seen her at that base with her own eyes. And this time, Shadow Weaver would have no way to come get Adora out of it.

Catra kept staring at the pond. It was shimmering with light from the stars that were still judging her.

_No. I can’t do that either._

Sending her away, it just… didn’t sit right with her. Catra tried to rationalize it by thinking that there was no point in having her sent to a prison, anyways. She wouldn’t be executed immediately, and when people found out, she’d either be taken back to Bright Moon, where King Micah would never let any harm come to her, even if she _was_ with the Horde, or… she’d be kept in the dungeons, with other, _worse_ criminals to rot until Catra could provide proof, which wouldn’t be any time soon.

Both those options were terrible, in very different ways.

Catra’s thoughts drifted to the second time they met. That was the night Catra had finally made a foolproof plan to end any and all production of Hemanogen.

The raid was a huge step forward in her plan, known Horde associates supplying the drugs to guards and noblemen. It was a long, pain-staking investigation that Catra had been spearheading as one of the best strategists in Bright Moon’s army. The next council meeting was a month from now, and Catra had been tracking people that had been caught that night, despite the reports being burned and everyone there set free – which she realized now was probably to protect Adora – but Catra managed to sneak out the files of the people caught that night, one of which was the Eternian herself.

All she needed to do was have them spied on, gather information, and eventually follow the trail all the way back to where the Horde’s drug operation started from, and end their whole thing once and for all. 

But still, a couple of guards and officers slacking off and giving up information wasn’t entirely uncommon. The people she had ordered her division of soldiers and officers to track had made a _lot_ or progress, for sure, but if _Adora of Eternia_ was involved with the Horde, perhaps she could also lead Catra to one of the main men in charge of Hemanogen…

 _Maybe, this marriage… could be useful. I don’t_ have _to get rid of Adora if she’s useful, right?_

The stars twinkled at her. Catra could see one of the third moons beginning to show.

_I can’t kill Adora. I won’t. Not while… not while she can help me defeat the Horde._

Catra began planning in her head.

***

_ Adora _

Having fallen asleep at some point staring at the night sky, waiting for Catra to come back and… Adora was surprised to wake up that morning.

She was still alive, and she was still numb, wondering what would happen to her now.

She changed out of her wedding dress and laid it on the bed, putting on some regular clothes she had found in Catra’s closet. They were new, and Adora assumed Catra might have had them made for her before she arrived, since the style was unlike the other clothes Catra owned.

Adora walked around the manor. It was big. It was bare. No paintings, no decorations… Adora passed by a window and saw a garden outside. It was beautiful. Maybe Catra would allow her to take a walk through it before Adora was inevitably kicked out of her home, or worse. 

She found the dining hall. Breakfast had already been served. Catra and her daughter were there, as well as a maid that was laying out some dishes for Adora. Adora stood awkwardly in the doorway. Catra and Cyra were busy with their food, and the maid pulled out a chair next to Catra and gestured for Adora to sit. Adora had a sneaking suspicion that Catra wouldn’t want to be near her, so instead she made her way to sit next to Cyra. She already decided to have her belongings set up in another room, away from Catra’s. It wasn’t like Adora would be sticking around, anyways. Why bother disturbing Catra’s room?

“Good morning,” she mumbled.

Catra glanced up at her. “Morning, hey. You’re finally awake. Here, have some breakfast.”

Catra picked up the plate that had been set beside her and started filling it with fruits and bread. She handed it to Adora over Cyra’s head, who was watching her with fascination. Adora couldn’t help but stare back, as well. Firstly at Catra, out of confusion, because she was acting like everything was normal, and she _hadn’t_ run out on Adora after calling her a traitor.

Secondly at Cyra, who looked _nothing_ like her mother.

Sure, she was a Magicat as well, but Cyra’s fur was lighter. It resembled more of a peachy colour than Catra’s. None of Cyra’s facial features matched with Catra’s. Her eyes were two different colours, a dark blue and green, while Catra’s were yellow and light blue. 

“Hi! Are you my new mom?”

Adora wasn’t sure she should take that role. She glanced at Catra, who had been reading something aid on the table beside her, and then at the serving girl, who was laughing slightly and leaving the room. It may have seemed amusing to anyone else, but Adora’s stomach was in knots. 

“Um... Why don’t you just call me Adora?”

“Okay Adora!” Cyra said brightly. “Did you have fun last night? I heard someone saying you and Amma were having fun together, and that’s why I couldn’t come see you.”

Catra choked on her water. Adora could feel her cheeks burning, and was positive if she brought the metal spoon to her face, it would fog up. 

“Cyra,” Catra scolded, “Stop asking questions and just finish your breakfast.

Cyra seemed a little hurt, but went back to her breakfast. She picked up an apple and tried digging her claws into it, but they weren’t making a dent. Adora took it from her and used a knife to cut it open. 

Catra looked back on Adora and Cyra. “You don’t have to do that for her,” she remarked, “I can call Gygaea to do it.”

“No, it’s fine, I don’t mind.” Adora watched Cyra munching happily while she cut another slice for her. “I like kids. Back in Bright Moon, I…” Adora trailed off, realizing Catra was no longer paying attention to her. _Okay, then_. She cleared her throat and acted like she had been talking to Cyra instead. “Back in Bright Moon, I used to know a lot of kids like you. We used to play together in Bright Moon’s courtyard.... You wanna know a secret?”

Cyra’s eyes shined with excitement. “Yeah!”

“Okay, you have to promise not to tell anyone, but…”

After she had struck a conversation with Cyra, breakfast was quick. Catra chatted about her plans for the day with the serving girl - Gygaea - who had returned with a cup of coffee for Catra, and Cyra started excitedly telling Adora a story about a bug she found in the garden. 

Afterwards, Catra left, saying she had some business to attend to, and Cyra decided that she was going to spend the day with Adora, because she wanted to play with her. 

Before leaving, Catra stopped her and Cyra, who was clutching Adora’s hand excitedly, ready to play with her.

“Hey, Glimmer mentioned that you didn’t have a communicator. I ordered one to be brought to you today. Glimmer’s contact should be on it, if you wanna call her. Oh, and, Gygaea mentioned you wanted to have your things brought to a separate room, so I put yours next to Cyra’s.” She tilted her head in her daughter’s direction. “She doesn’t sleep alone often, and if she gets scared she might wanna come sleep in your room, I hope you don’t mind her staying over a couple nights.”

Then she smiled at Cyra, ruffled her hair, and left. She was talking to Adora like – like everything was normal. She didn’t mention anything about how she stormed out of the room last night. Catra wasn’t dragging her out by her hair and throwing her onto the street. She said _a couple nights_ , which meant Catra wasn’t getting rid of Adora any time soon.

Still, Adora felt like she was waiting for the other shoe to drop. The anxiety of not knowing what Catra thought of her was weighing over Adora’s heart.

***

Adora really enjoyed having Cyra around. She reminded Adora of the orphans she used to play with in Bright Moon.

Cyra made Adora laugh with her questions and antics. She taught Adora how to navigate through the garden and the courtyard, and played one-on-one soccer with her. Adora taught her how to play chess, and spent some time chasing her around playing tag.

It was relaxing. Cyra gave Adora something she hadn’t felt in a long time: enjoyment. Comfort. Joy. 

It was hard to believe her and Catra were related. 

Adora could relax. If this was her life now, she wouldn’t mind it much. Catra didn’t like her, that much was clear, but she wasn’t being cruel. Cyra _did_ like her, and Adora enjoyed having someone to talk to. It wasn’t great. It was far from perfect. But it was still a thousand times better than feeling like every step she took in Bright Moon was wrong, like she was being watched by Shadow Weaver’s cold eyes whenever she did anything that was outside of what _she_ approved.

Just when Adora was getting comfortable, Gygaea came and informed her of something that made Adora’s stomach churn.

“Shadow Weaver, on behalf of King Micah, has invited you and Catra of Red Moon to dinner at Bright Moon Castle.”

Oh, God.

***

Dinner wasn’t actually that bad. 

Glimmer was still there, which was odd. Adora expected Glimmer to run away the second Adora was gone. Adora told her she’d call later, seeing as she finally had her own tracker pad, something Shadow Weaver had never thought Adora required, saying it only served as a distraction.

Speaking of the old witch, she didn’t even look in Adora’s direction twice, other than the customary greetings. She was entirely too enamoured with Catra, trying to woo her for whatever reason. She kept complimenting Catra, asking about how her work was going, wanting to know more about Catra’s current project. Catra, much to Adora’s surprise, kept her answers curt and simple. Even more surprising, Catra kept close to Adora. Not just physically - Catra had been keeping a hand on her shoulder or on top of Adora’s hands nearly the entire meal - but she kept turning to gaze at Adora, asking if she needed anything, offering to fill Adora’s glass with wine.

Adora even managed to choke down some food while sitting a few feet away from Shadow Weaver. Some of the tension between her and Catra was sort of fading.

Near the end of dinner, someone interrupted them. A guard told them that a man had showed up with a matter which required Shadow Weaver’s attention. She gave him permission to enter, and Adora locked eyes with the man that entered.

It was the same man that had taken her to the ‘party’. The man that was responsible for everything that had gone wrong in Adora’s life in the past two weeks.

Adora froze and stared at him, and he just smirked at her while passing by her table to go whisper something in Shadow Weaver’s ear. She hummed, pleased by something, and dismissed him.

Adora looked back at Catra. Catra wasn’t smiling at her anymore. She was looking at the man thoughtfully. Adora realized that Catra might’ve recognized him from the army station where Adora had been kept.

_Fuck._

***

_ Catra _

“Who was that guy?”

Catra had driven herself and Adora to Bright Moon so they could talk privately. Now that dinner was finally over, and they were heading home, she would have a chance to question Adora.

During the whole dinner, Catra kept a close eye on Adora, waiting to see if she would try to leave, try to contact someone from the Horde or retrieve some Hemanogen. Shadow Weaver trying to pry information out of her was a little distracting, but Catra had experience keeping secrets. She didn’t tell Shadow Weaver any more than she needed to know, which wasn’t _much._ Sure, she was respected, but she held no official title in Bright Moon. There was no reason she needed to know every detail of Catra’s plan. Especially if part of it now involved her ward, Adora.

Adora, who had been uneasy throughout the whole visit… even more so when the guard entered.

“Who?”

Catra grumbled, annoyed that Adora was dodging the question.

“Why did you get all nervous when that guard entered? Why were you staring at him?”

Adora forced a half-hearted chuckle. “Uh, why? Are you jealous?”, she teased.

Catra gripped the wheel in anger and unintentionally sped up the car. She didn’t realize her claws had sprung out until she noticed Adora staring at them fearfully. 

“Stop messing around and answer my question. Why did you get so worried when you saw him?”

Adora scowled at the dashboard. “I didn’t. I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Her voice was steeled and guarded. Catra slowed the car down and retracted her claws. Adora relaxed once she did.

 _Right,_ Catra remembered Scorpia’s words, _Sheltered. Got it._

Catra felt as if she should apologize for losing her temper, but she didn’t say anything more, and neither did Adora.

***

_ Adora _

Adora was in Cyra’s room, telling her a story about She-Ra. Suddenly, Catra’s voice echoed down the hall.

“Adora. Adora!”

Adora’s heart started racing. Why was she yelling?

Catra opened the door to Cyra’s room. Both girls looked at her. While Adora had changed into a nightshirt and a gown, Catra was still wearing the clothes they had gone to dinner with. Catra looked at them. Adora and Cyra were sitting cross legged on the floor with an abandoned game of chess between them. 

Catra came and picked Cyra up, putting her in the bed and telling her it was time to sleep. Cyra protested, and Catra calmed her down with promises of going on rides and having cake the next day. Adora stayed still on the floor. If she stayed quiet enough, maybe Catra would forget she was there. Maybe Adora could slip out of the room while Catra was distracted with her daughter...

But no such luck. While Adora was debating if she should move or not, Catra kissed Cyra on the forehead and turned out the light. She looked right at Adora, her eyes glowing in the dark, and said, “Come with me.” It sounded more like a command than a request.

Adora nodded and got up slowly. Her stomach was churning, again. What did Catra want from her? The dread she felt at hearing someone yell her name still hadn’t faded. She tried reminding herself that she was safe, if Catra wanted to hurt her, she would have done so very long ago. 

She remembered Catra throwing an arm over her chest when they hit a particularly nasty bump in the road on the way back to the manor, subconsciously protecting Adora. The moment had been ruined pretty soon. Once she noticed Adora smiling softly at her, Catra snatched her arm away and told Adora, “It’s not because I like you or anything. I’m just… doing my duty.”

Still, Adora smiled at the memory. So she followed Catra all the way to Catra’s room. Catra went in. Adora didn’t. 

Catra noticed that Adora hadn’t entered with her, so she walked back over to Adora and stared at her impatiently. Adora waited for her to berate her for not following her, but she didn’t say anything. She just grabbed Adora’s hand and brought her to the couch. She went to close the door behind her, then stood in front of Adora. Adora kept her eyes trained to the ground, not sure she should look her in the eye or not. She noticed that Catra was barefoot. How long had she been barefoot for?

Catra was silent for a little while, contemplating something.

“Why did you say yes to being my wife?”

_Oh. That’s what she wants to talk about._

“I didn’t. I didn’t have a choice. They arranged my marriage to you the day after I was arrested.”

Catra scoffed. “Really? The King of Bright Moon, rather than having a traitor executed, decided to get her married instead?”

_Traitor._

Adora felt annoyed being called that, but didn’t raise her head. She steeled her voice and answered, “I’m _not_ a traitor. Not that you care, anyways.” 

_Traitor._ Someone had called her that before Catra. She didn’t say anything about it then, her throat too sore and her heart in too much pain because of...

“And Micah didn’t decide anything. All of this was that… that _bitch’s_ fault.”

Adora didn’t mean to let those words fall out. She had tamped her anger down for so long, too busy being numb to the world to be angry at it. But it was all coming back to her now. The unfairness of the circumstances. The horrible way she had been treated then and was being treated now.

“Who?” Catra demanded.

“ _Shadow Weaver’s_.” Adora’s hands curled into fists, bunching up her grey pajamas. “She’s got Micah wrapped around her finger.”

Catra was silent again. Adora’s face was burning with anger and with tears. All day, Catra hadn’t said anything to her, other than a few kind words here and there and then that tense conversation in the car. Adora let herself believe that some part of Catra believed that Adora wasn’t guilty, and that was why she had let her stay. But it was clear now that Catra thought no such thing. Still. Catra kept her around. Why? 

“So, you’re saying my life was ruined because of Shadow Weaver.”

Adora looked up at Catra, anger reaching a new level. “ _Your_ life!?” 

Adora stood up high, which gave her about an inch over Catra’s head. Catra didn’t seem fazed by her outburst.

“Yes, _my_ life.” Catra crossed her arms and glared at Adora. “I was _dreaming_ about having a wife, you know that? Someone I could be happy with. Instead, I get _you_. A liar.”

“I’m _not-”_

“Save it. I have all the evidence I need to prove you’re guilty.”

Catra was watching Adora, as if asking something from her. Adora let out a defeated sigh at the word ‘guilty’. She wasn’t guilty of anything except being too naïve. She didn’t respond.

Catra walked away from her, apparently having gotten her answer, a blessing in disguise because Adora could feel some tears escape her eyes. She rubbed them away furiously and tried to calm down, but she was angry. Catra didn’t even give her a _chance_ to explain, just like no one had given her a chance the day she was arrested. 

Catra seemed completely unbothered by Adora, she stood at her dresser and took off her mask. Her hair fell over her eyes and she looked back at Adora.

“You can go now, if you want. But you should know, there is _no place_ for a _traitor_ like you in my room, _or_ in my heart.”

And then her wife began to brush her hair, like she hadn’t just stabbed deeper Adora’s heart with a few words than any knife could ever. 

Adora was _furious._ She stormed over to Catra’s dresser and yanked the brush out of her hands, pointing it at Catra like it was a weapon. At this, Catra seemed a little bit surprised, at least. 

“I don’t _care_ what you think,” Adora snapped, “I _know_ that I’m not a traitor. I have nothing to do with the Horde, I _never_ have. They took my parents, they took - “ Adora stopped herself. Mara was still painful to mention and she wasn’t interested in talking to Catra about her. “If you’re so stubborn that you won’t even _listen_ to me, I have no reason to try. So goodnight, _wife_.”

Adora spat the word _wife_ like it was an insult, which it basically was at this point. 

She shoved the hairbrush back into Catra’s hand, who was staring at her with an unreadable expression. She began to leave, but turned to say one last thing. 

“And for the record, that _bitch_ ruined _my_ life more than she ever could have ruined yours. You think _your dreams_ were ruined by her? Well, guess what, _General Catra,_ I’ve had _nightmares_ better than this two-day marriage!”

Then she turned on her heel and left the room before she could regret what she said. 

***

Adora woke up that morning wishing she was dead. Not unusual for her.

She found herself staring out the window, the sun’s glare on her eyes giving her a headache. 

A knock that she recognized to be Gygaea’s rang through the room, before the door was pushed open. “Princess? What are you doing?”

“Considering my options…” she murmured, looking down at the ground through the window.

Gygaea set a tray of food down on Adora’s table. “I’m sorry, what was that?”

“Nothing,” Adora spoke loudly. “Thanks for breakfast. Did I wake up too late to have it with Catra?”

“No, we usually serve breakfast individually. That morning, General Catra requested to have it with you and her daughter.”

Adora nodded, taking a seat. “We? Who else lives here?”

“Well, me and a cleaning maid live in the servant’s quarters. I cook the food, make the schedule, arrange dinners, all that. Sometimes I take care of Princess Cyra, but usually I just stay there. Oh, and we always have two guards on duty at the gate, but they switch every three hours or so. Other than us, no one really comes here. General Catra doesn’t like having people around.”

Made sense. 

“How long have you worked here?”

“Here, in Red Moon? Just a month, since General Catra moved here. But I’ve worked for her much longer. I used to take care of her in the Fright Zone, but when she uh… when she came here instead, I came along with her.” Gygaea shifted uncomfortably, which was odd. “If you’ll excuse me, I need to get back to the kitchen and make arrangements for dinner,” Gygaea started to shift out of the room, but Adora stopped her.

“Why did you hesitate like that, when you were talking about the Fright Zone?”

The topic of the Fright Zone made Gygaea sigh. “It’s a long story. I’m not sure I should be the one to tell it. You and Catra should talk about it, alone.”

Adora’s spoon fumbled out of her hand. The last time she had talked _alone_ with Catra, it hadn’t ended well. The reason she didn’t leave her room that day is because she was dreading having to speak to Catra about yesterday’s outburst.

“Is that all?”

Adora nodded. Gygaea left the room.

***

After finishing breakfast, Adora was staring out the window again. She realized the window wasn’t high enough to suit her needs, so she took to just admiring the garden. She saw Cyra running around on all fours, chasing a squirrel, and decided to head down and spend time with her. 

It was a bad idea. Cyra asked her to tell her a story. The only thing Adora could think about was what had happened with Catra, but she couldn’t very well talk about her problems with a child. So, she made up a story, replacing the characters.

She told Cyra she didn’t like being alone because of a monster that lived in the manor, and that it was haunting her.

“Really? But I’ve never seen it.”

“And you never will, Cy. The monster will _never_ hurt you, it likes you. It’ll only ever hurt me.”

“Really? Why?”

“The monster doesn’t like me. You know, the first night I spent here, it growled at me, and it almost scratched me! It left three marks on your mom’s bed.”

“Woah! Really?” Cyra’s ears were perked up, and her pupils dilated, interested in the monster.

“Yeah! And one time, when me and your mom were coming back from our dinner, it showed up again, scaring me.”

“Really? Couldn’t Amma stop it? She stopped monsters from hurting me.”

Adora shifted on her feet, thinking.

“Well, she can’t see it.”

“Why not?”

“Because… the monster only ever shows itself to me.”

Cyra’s ear turned, then her head. She leapt up and ran away from Adora, whose heart stopped when she realized where she was going. 

“Amma! Did you know there’s a monster in the manor?”

Cyra ran across the garden and into the arms of Catra, who had been watching Adora tell her daughter the scary “story”.

“It keeps scaring Adora, and she’s scared to go anywhere alone. Can’t you do something about it?”

Adora felt a spike of fear run through her body. Catra didn’t say anything to her, but Adora thought of how furious she was bound to be for talking about her like she was a _monster_ with Cyra. Catra didn’t speak to Adora and instead sent Cyra to go have lunch with Gygaea. Adora went to follow her.

“Hey.”

Catra stopped her by her arm. 

“I wanna talk to you later.”

She let go and walked out of the garden.

_Fuck. Fuck. Fuck._

Adora decided to go back to her room instead of back to Cyra. She didn’t know why she was so scared. 

_What’s the worst she could do? Kill you?_

Except, Adora knew that was one of the best options. There were far worse things than death. 

***

_ Catra _

Catra entered Adora’s room. The door was open, so she didn’t knock. She watched Adora mindlessly sort through some jewelry that had been sent to her as a wedding gift. It was the first time she’d seen Adora look so at peace. 

Catra figured that was partially her fault. In Adora’s mind, she was a monster. Maybe it was better that way, she couldn’t let her guard down around Adora. 

The conversation they’d had that night had confirmed something in Catra’s mind. Adora’s reaction to her bluff, about having evidence, the way she looked so _defeated_ , it just further led Catra to believe that she was lying, and she only felt bad for being caught.

At least _someone_ had to be lying about what had happened that night. Catra couldn’t go forward with her plans with a half-finished puzzle. And Adora’s part in it was the only one she was missing. 

She came closer behind Adora and rested her hand on her shoulder, startling her.

Adora gasped and turned to Catra. She’d been avoiding her all day, and for good reason, too. Whatever confidence had entered Adora that night had faded by the morning, and now every time they crossed paths Adora would get nervous and walk away. 

Catra sat slowly next to Adora. Adora looked back down at the bracelet that was in her hands, fiddling with it.

“That monster. You’re talking about me, right?” Catra’s tone was harsher than she’d meant it to be. Adora breathed carefully, digging her fingers into the bracelet’s gems. She didn’t answer. Catra thought about what little interactions they’d had. Scorpia had even warned her to be gentle with Adora. Catra figured that maybe the _‘scary monster who will eat you if you don’t cooperate’_ angle was more threatening than she’d meant it to be.

“Why are you so scared of me?” Catra asked, this time, with a softer tone.

Adora slightly relaxed, as if realizing she wasn’t in trouble. Still, she let out a deep, shaky breath, and didn’t answer.

“I’m sorry. For scaring you,” Catra explained. “I didn’t mean to. I don’t spend a lot of time around people. Sometimes I forget how to act.”

Adora nodded, still fumbling with the bracelet. Catra frowned. If her plan was going to work, she needed Adora to feel as if she could trust her. Catra lifted her hand, unsure if she should proceed, but then she was moving her hand to sift Adora’s hair. It was let down, for once.

“Huh,” she was surprised, “I thought your hair would be shorter than this,” Catra’s hand fell through Adora’s soft hair, and without meaning to, she reached up to touch it again, this time actually admiring it. When she realized what she was doing, she took her hand away. Adora also reached up to feel how long it had gotten, but she didn’t try to move away from Catra, or seem bothered that Catra had touched without asking. Still, Catra bit the inside of her mouth and felt as if she should apologize.

Instead, Catra reached over to take the bracelet from Adora’s lap. 

“It’s really pretty,” Catra commented. Then, against her better judgement, she continued, “Like you.”

Adora blushed, but still didn’t turn to look at Catra. “Um, thanks.”

Catra took her hand and closed the bracelet around Adora’s wrist, clearing her throat. 

“Adora. Look at me?”

Adora slowly faced Catra. 

“You say that you’re not a traitor, and that I won’t give you a chance to explain. Well, I’m giving you one now. Will you tell me what really happened that night, before you got arrested?”

Adora planted her feet more firmly against the ground and stared at Catra’s face, worried. She was thinking about something, and the more she thought about it, the more nervous she got. Catra was getting impatient. She needed Adora to tell her everything she knew.

“Adora, tell me. Was that guard your friend?” Catra asked, still not looking away from her face.

Adora finally answered, her voice delicate.

“No, he wasn’t.”

“Then why were you two looking at each other like that?”

“Because… I’ve met him before.”

“When?” Catra prodded, feeling the investigator in her rise.

“He was the one that took me out of the castle, that night.” Adora's voice was still soft, but she was clenching her fists. “He’s the reason they thought I was with the Horde.”

“How? What happened?”

Adora took her time to answer, looking away from Catra again.

“His name is Kitch. He was a new guard,” Adora’s voice was shaky, and Catra could tell she was trying to hold back some tremors in her voice. 

“He tried making friends with me. One day, he mentioned how… how _boring_ my life at Bright Moon was and offered to take me to a party. I knew Shadow Weaver would never allow it, so I snuck out. Instead of the party, he took me _there_. Someone gave me something to eat,” Adora stopped and swallowed again, trying to hold something back. 

“I didn’t realize it until later but it was laced with something. I could barely stand, let alone run. I can’t really remember anything else from that night, other than when you saw me at that base. And then when Shadow Weaver got me.”

With her free hand, she started fidgeting with the collar of her red jacket, which for some reason she still had on. Her other hand was still loosely in between her and Catra, who hadn’t removed her own hand from the bracelet.

“She took me back to Bright Moon and…” Adora moved her hand up and rubbed at her neck. Now that her collar was out of the way, Catra saw some bruising. They were quite faint, and Catra hadn’t seen them before, but now that she was paying attention to Adora… She had a scar under her right ear. Another, going down her neck into her collarbone. Those were much older than the bruises, which she could say were about two weeks old. Catra moved back from her, the slight jump from Adora not going unnoticed, and examined Adora more closely. There was more bruising around her wrist, the one Catra had just closed the bracelet around. She traced her thumb under the metal, and Adora flinched and took her hand away. Catra didn’t try to take it back.

“And?” she prompted, even though Catra had a pretty good guess what Adora was trying to say. 

Adora hid her wrist, huffing out a breath. “And that’s when she told me the Queen died.” Adora covered her wrist and pulled her jacket around herself again.

Catra absorbed the information. If Shadow Weaver was like _that_ with Adora, wouldn’t someone do something about it? She was practically Angella’s second daughter. Wouldn’t people be protective of her? Plus, the few times she’d met Shadow Weaver, the lady would always be boasting about Adora’s accomplishments, about how she was _so proud_ to be raising _the_ Princess of Eternia. Shadow Weaver wouldn’t treat her like that, she thought so highly of her. It didn’t make sense.

“Is that the truth?”

Adora turned suddenly and glared at Catra. “I swear on my mother’s _grave_. Everything I just told you is true. But I don’t expect you to believe me. No one else did. Micah was told that I went there to get drugs. Shadow Weaver didn’t let me talk, didn’t let me explain. She said I’m a traitor. And _you_ …”

Then, she tried to move away. Catra caught her and pulled Adora’s face towards her to look at her again. Adora’s eyes, which Catra noticed were a gray-blue, were full of unshed tears. She searched Adora’s face for any sign of dishonesty. All she saw was pain, and… fear. Adora was still _scared_. Of Catra, or, of that night.

Catra’s heart tugged at her. It told her to believe everything Adora had just said, pull her close to her chest and apologize for everything that had happened. But logically, she knew that people _lied._ A _lot._ She needed more than just words and feelings to go on.

Cyra’s voice came from down the hallway, through the open door. 

“Adoraaa! Can you tell me a bedtime story?”

Adora rushed out of the room to attend to Cyra’s wants. Catra was left alone in her wife’s room. A room that would remain separate from Catra’s until Adora could prove her story. 

***

Catra thought about what Adora had told her.

It didn’t make sense. If that was the truth, then why was Kitch still employed? Surely Shadow Weaver wouldn’t keep him around if she knew _he_ had anything to do with their enemy, especially if her had gotten Adora involved. But from Catra’s observations, despite her being Adora’s guardian for the last ten years, clearly Shadow Weaver wasn’t Adora’s favourite person in the world. So, maybe Shadow Weaver wasn’t the _best -_ but was she really bad enough to pin everything on Adora like that? 

Were those bruises on Adora from her?

Catra sent a message to one of her Captain’s to start gathering information on Shadow Weaver, to see if she really was as Adora claimed. Catra wished she could just take her word for it, but...

How much did Catra really know about Adora?

She was expecting a meek, sheltered princess, the way Scorpia had described her. But the way she had blown up at Catra the previous night - Catra realized Adora wasn’t as delicate as she thought. But then why was she so nervous all the time? What did she have to be nervous about? Was it because she was worried that someone would find out she was guilty?

Catra just _couldn’t_ figure her out. Who was Adora? Was she as others had described her, how she acted with Cyra? Or was it all just a front to gain people’s trust, so she could betray them later?

If what she said was a lie, then Catra would find out soon. Her officers told her they’d be ready to proceed in two or three weeks. All Catra had to do was give the order, then, she could see the truth for herself. 

If what she said was true, then… Catra would have no reason to keep Adora an arm's length away from her at all times. 

But if it was a lie, and Catra let Adora into her heart, only to have her break it....

_Beep._

_“Sure thing, kitten. I can have people look into SW._

_But it’ll take a while. Unless you want me to drop the other case…?”_

Catra sent back a message to put the SW investigation on hold. Finding out the truth about Adora could wait - she had all the time in the world with her. Catra and Adora’s life would have to stay paused in this purgatory-like area, where Catra couldn’t accept her as a wife, but she didn’t want to call her an enemy, either. She could slowly put together the truth in the next coming days herself. In the meantime, there was something much more important Catra had to look into.

Where the hell _were_ Cyra’s parents?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A BASIC SUMMARY AND EXPLANATION OF THIS CHAPTER BC MY WRITING IS INCOHERENT:
> 
> -adora is happy that catra isn't a bitch  
> -catra tries to be nice and fails because when she sees adora, she gets mad  
> -adora is no longer happy and is actually kind of scared now but cyra is a sweetheart, plus she thinks catra can't be that bad bc she was sorta nice at first, but still like. anxious bc she doesnt know catra.  
> -catra has trust issues but she sort of likes adora even if she won't admit it  
> -catra tells herself she hasn't killed adora/divorced her or whatever bc adora might give up some information about the horde. the truth is she thinks adora is too pretty to be a criminal (/jk) 
> 
> anyways. u can ask questions if ur confused abt anything, ill do my best to explain, but most stuff is gonna be revealed in future chapters^^^^
> 
> you can yell at me [here](https://sarcastic-pun-master.tumblr.com/) if you want :(


	4. dil samjhta hai apno ki niyatein hai kharab

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dil samajhta hai apno ki,  
> niyatein hai kharab
> 
> _my heart thinks that my intentions are wrong_
> 
> ***  
> Adora is sick and tired, in more ways than one. Bow and Glimmer visit. Catra is letting her doubts get the best of her, but for a reason.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter 6 is a BITCH to write oh my god
> 
> thank you to the like 10 people that are reading this im doing this for y'all and also me
> 
> be the weird fanfic you crave to see in the world

_ Adora _

Adora woke up feeling like shit. 

Her head was aching, her nose was stuffy, and her throat was scratchy. 

So maybe Adora had a fever. 

Someone entered her room. Adora watched through bleary eyes as Gygaea set down a cup of coffee on her nightstand.

“Thank you,” Adora rasped. “Could you please close the curtains?”

Gygaea felt Adora’s forehead and frowned. “Princess? Are you sick? Do you want me to get General Catra?”

Seeing Catra was the last thing Adora wanted. 

She was hoping after their talk that night, something would change. She daydreamed about Catra walking into her room with an apology, and maybe some flowers. She was hoping that Catra would stop glaring at her every time they were alone. 

Instead, she hadn’t seen Catra at all in the last four days. Not even during mealtimes. Cyra had gone to visit the Fright Zone Castle, too, and her absence had left Adora feeling hollow. That, plus Catra avoiding her, left Adora alone in the big, empty house.

“No, don’t bother her. I’ll be fine,” Adora got out of bed and stood up suddenly, which was a mistake because she blacked out for a second and flopped back. When she came to, Gygaea was pulling the sheets over Adora. 

“You just rest, Princess. I’ll go get you some medicine.”

Gygaea left before Adora could protest. She closed the door, and Adora let her eyes fall shut to escape the sunlight that was still leaking through the open window. She felt sick to her stomach and the thought of having to eat anything made her nauseous. But at the same time, she was starving. 

Sleep took over the rest of her senses and she tried to let it consume her, tried to ignore the painful throbbing in her head.

Someone entered the room again. Adora assumed it was Gygaea with some medicine. Instead, Adora felt Catra’s hand rest on her forehead. She opened her eyes and sure enough, Catra was leaning over her, watching her with worry. When Adora’s eyes opened, she yanked her hand back and hardened her gaze again.

“You’re sick.”

Catra said it accusingly, like Adora had gotten sick on purpose. Which in a way, she guessed she did. She skipped meals, she didn’t bother covering herself when roaming the cold halls, and ever since Cyra left, Adora had barely even gotten out of the manor to get fresh air, not having a reason to roam the gardens.

“So?” Adora snapped, while sitting up. Catra’s expression didn’t change.

“So, let me take you to a hospital.”

A sickening feeling rose in Adora’s chest. 

“No, go away. Just let me die.”

Adora felt the feeling rise up into her throat, and laid back down, hoping the feeling would go away. She could see Catra smile amusedly, but didn’t comment on it.

“You’re not dying, you just have a high fever. Let me take you to the hospital, you’ll feel better in no time. You’re not getting away from me that easily.”

Adora opened her mouth to tell Catra she could fuck off, but the feeling had made its way into her mouth and instead she pushed Catra and fell onto the floor, reaching for the wastebasket and retching into it. Adora gasped and cried, hurling even more. She was dimly aware of Catra taking a hold of the wastebasket and holding it for her as she puked, rubbing her back in soothing circles. Once she felt like she was done puking, she managed to sit back up. She looked at Catra, who had a horrible stain on the front of her shirt.

“I’m - I’m sor -”

Catra didn’t pay attention to Adora’s attempts to apologize. She simply picked her up by her shoulders - Adora felt nauseous again - and then gently laid her back against her bed, pulling the blanket over her.

“Sleep, Adora.”

Despite her mind saying _No! Don’t!_ , her body was too exhausted to stay awake, and she fell asleep.

***

Adora woke up again, this time in Catra’s bed. 

The General herself was sitting in a chair that had been brought next to the bed, watching Adora. When Adora turned to look at her properly, she went back to staring at her tracker pad. 

Adora remembered bits and pieces of what had happened.

The first time she awoke, she was completely out of it. Catra helped her walk – walk was a loose term, she had basically carried her – out of her room and down to the entrance of the manor, where a doctor was waiting for her. He did a check up, said some stuff that Adora couldn't really comprehend, and then Catra helped Adora back up. There were little moments that Adora wasn’t sure were real or not, like someone stroking Adora’s hair, or trying to feed her. At some point, Adora thinks she must have been dreaming, because she heard Mara’s voice telling her, _you’re okay. You're safe here. Everything will be alright. Just stay strong, Adora_.

Catra glanced back up at her when Adora tried reaching for a glass of water. She got up herself and helped Adora drink it. Another memory came back to Adora.

“Did you… did you help me drink medicine?” Adora wondered.

Catra stared at her. She was still wearing her uniform, although she had changed out of the shirt Adora had partially vomited on. “Yes.” she said dully, as if it was obvious. It wasn’t. Adora honestly didn’t expect Catra to care at all, let alone take care of her herself. 

“Why?” Adora asked again, slightly smiling. _Why did you take care of me? Wouldn’t you be happier if I was dead? Do you believe me, that I’m innocent? Is that why?_

Catra fiddled with the taser at her side, idly scratching at a mark on the handle while thinking of something. Adora waited for an answer with bated breaths. 

“Well,” Catra paused, then looked up at Adora with steeled eyes and said, “I can’t just let an important eyewitness like you go to waste.”

There it was. Every time.

Every time Adora felt even a little bit hopeful that things were getting better, something else would happen that squashed her hope like a bug under a shoe. 

_Remember, Adora. Life is not like these fairy tales._

_Don’t expect her to love you._

_You’re going there to fulfill your duty._

Adora had long since brushed off Shadow Weaver’s cruel words. But Catra had just brought them all back and proved them to be true. Catra didn’t believe her. As soon as Adora was done being _useful_ to her, she would leave her, or arrest her, or kill her, whatever.

Catra looked back at Adora, must’ve noticed the anguish on her face, and then said, “What? Did you think I actually cared about you?”

Adora didn’t want to cry in front of Catra, giving her the satisfaction of knowing Adora had, for a second, given a shit about what Catra thought of her. Instead she raised her voice and said, “That’s it? I’m just some evidence to you?”

“Well, what else would you be?”

Adora scoffed. She pulled her legs out from under Catra’s blanket - immediately missing the warmth but the coldness in her heart made her keep going - and started to walk away from her wife.

“Nothing. I’m nothing. So do me a favour and put me out of my misery. If you think I’m a traitor then kick me out! Let me go! You’ll never have to see me again.”

Adora wished she could say her voice didn’t break while yelling at Catra. She wished for a lot of things that would never come true. She was about to leave, go somewhere to forget this conversation, but Catra got a hold of her and twisted her around.

Maybe she hadn’t _meant_ to, but Catra had grabbed the arm that was still sore from Shadow Weaver’s _loving_ care. Adora yelped in fear as the memory and the pain shot through her.

“Adora.” Catra eyed her, still wearing an expressionless face. “If you _are_ the traitor, then I’ll have you killed faster than you can ask for mercy.” 

Adora tried not to pant, but she was getting flashbacks to Shadow Weaver -

Then at the same time, Mara's voice - 

_You're okay._

_You're safe._

“If you are, and I let you go right now, who knows what you’ll do once you get out of here.”

_You're safe._

Catra finally let go of Adora. She tried to recover from the slight panic that had taken over before Catra noticed. 

_You're safe._ They felt like a lie, but Adora let herself believe them.

“And if I’m not? Then what?” Adora started to fume, her panic turning to anger. “If you find out I’m _not_ a traitor, _then what?”_

Catra still didn’t say anything, nor did she show any indication of emotion on her face. But her throat jumped. Adora didn’t know what to think of it. She left Catra’s room, wondering if the lie she had just convinced herself of was even close to true. 

***

_ Catra  _

Adora left, clearly angry that Catra still thought she was a traitor.

_If I’m not, then what?_

If Adora _wasn’t,_ well then...

Catra would gladly admit that she was taking care of Adora because she _wanted_ to. She didn’t _want_ to see her wife suffer, she wanted her to be happy for the rest of their lives. But that was if, and _only_ if, Adora _wasn’t_. And from where Catra was standing, it was much more likely that she was. 

Catra wasn’t going to risk showing sympathy to someone that was just planning on using her, make it easy for them to manipulate her. She'd made the mistake of believing in people too quickly before, and it had cost her.

Her earliest memory was sneaking into a tent to steal some food. She got caught by a Horde soldier. She expected to die, then, but the soldier just looked her up and down, smiled, and offered her food. The soldier took care of her for months, keeping her fed and clothed, berating anyone that was unkind to her, until one day Catra was playing with some of the other children, and suddenly they were being picked up and thrown onto the back of a large skiff. Catra screamed and clawed, and one of the men there backhanded her, and Catra landed roughly on the floor. When she looked up, the soldier that Catra trusted was there, so like any scared child would, she ran into their arms for protection.

When she expected comfort, she was pulled off of the soldier and shoved towards the man that had hurt her. “How much?”, the soldier demanded, not even looking at Catra. Catra watched with betrayal as the soldier let the man take her and put her in a box-like area on the skiff with the other whimpering kids. She still strained her ears to hear them, hoping for it to be a joke. “She’s a Magicat, pretty rare. They’ve got heightened senses, fangs and claws. She’s young, so she’ll be easier to train. All you’ve gotta do is offer her some snacks, act all loving around her, and she’ll latch onto you. Pretty sweet, right? How much?”

Catra’s heart fell, and that day something in her had broken, and never been fully repaired. She couldn’t trust anyone. Not unless she understood their motivation, their intentions. Anyone could lie to gain her trust, to manipulate her.

Adora wasn’t any different. 

Until Catra understood her, until she got a clear view on what exactly it was that Adora wanted, Catra wouldn’t let Adora get close to her. She’d remain guarded and callous with her. If Adora believed Catra was only keeping her around because she was evidence, then it would prevent Adora from trying to appeal to Catra’s better nature, which she wouldn’t admit that she had, despite Scorpia’s insistence that she wasn’t as bad as she pretended to be.

Scorpia never really understood her, anyways. It wasn’t that Catra _wanted_ to act harsh, it was that she had experienced the dangers that came with being vulnerable. Yes, she had a ‘better nature’, but no, she wasn’t going to show it to just anyone.

Especially not Adora. Not yet.

***

_ Bow _

Bow stepped past the entrance into Red Moon Manor. The guards nodded at him, recognizing him as General Catra’s old friend. 

He walked through the manor towards the courtyard, hoping to find Catra and talk to her about wanting to marry Glimmer. Or more specifically, why he couldn’t.

“Lord Bow!” Gygaea ran into him. Bow greeted her and squeezed her into a hug. “When did you get back from Brotheria?”

“Just today. I came here as soon as possible.” He let go of her, and continued on. “Can you believe Catra hasn’t spoken to me at all since her marriage? I’m hurt.”

“Oh, don’t blame her. She’s been very busy lately. She doesn’t even have time for Princess Adora.”

Bow stopped. “Adora?”

“Yes, her wi- “

“Gygaea?” A new voice called out to them. “Who’s this?”

Bow turned and, yep. That was Adora, all right. He hadn’t ever formally met her, had only heard of her through Glimmer and caught glimpses of her from the times he would visit ~~or sneak into~~ Bright Moon. But he recognized the high-collared red jacket and the adorable hair poof. Bow’s jaw dropped, then he rushed forward and tugged Adora off the ground in a bear hug. 

“Wow! I can’t believe this!” Bow put her down and rested his hands on her shoulders, smiling eagerly at her. “ _You’re_ Catra’s new wife? I can’t believe she didn’t tell me!”

Adora, dazed from having been spun around, looked from Bow to Gygaea helplessly. “I, um. Sorry? She didn’t really tell me about you, either.”

“No, no, not Catra! Glimmer! I - “ Bow stepped back, realizing he was sort of shaking her, and slightly bowed, “I’m Lord Bow, master archer and part-time Historian.” He offered her his hand in greeting. “Also one of Catra’s oldest friends - well, her only friend. But don’t tell her I said that. She’ll get all moody and deny it. But you may know me as Glimmer’s _paramour_.” He said the last part with an accent, and to his delight, Adora laughed, and shook his hand. 

“I’m Adora of Etern - Adora of Red Moon. Although, you probably already know that.”

Gygaea interrupted them, asking if Bow wanted anything to drink. 

“No thanks, Gaea! All I really want right now is to talk to Adora.”

Bow took Adora’s hand and started walking about aimlessly with her. 

***

_ Adora  _

Adora looked surprised at Bow’s eagerness to talk to her. And talk he did. 

“You know, I have _twelve older siblings._ Each of them get on my nerves _so much,_ I swear - but I’m so much younger than them! I can’t even stand up for myself.”

“Glimmer talks about you so much, oh my god. She says you two are practically sisters - it’s about time we met.”

“Catra hasn’t spent that much time with you, huh? Seriously, her and her work - do you have any idea how hard it is to drag her away to do something _fun?_ I thought that after getting married she would at least stop being such a stick-in-the-mud, for _your_ sake - “

At some point, they had sat in a separate, smaller dining room that was connected to the kitchen. Adora could smell something cooking, and remembered the days Mara would try a new recipe, ultimately fail, and have to invite their neighbour Razz to fix it. 

Adora always liked it when Razz came over. She couldn’t tell why, but Razz’s presence had always excited her, like an old friend was coming to visit and not just some old lady who hit Mara with a broomstick when she got the measurements wrong.

Bow had a similar effect on her. His smile was warm, and his dark brown eyes had nothing but gentleness. Adora could understand why Glimmer fell for him, and she even wanted to ask him why he hadn’t run away with her yet. Bow was such an amicable person. How in Etheria was he friends with the cold, emotionless General she was married to.

“Y’know, I’ve always kinda wanted a younger sister.” Bow rested his chin in the palm of his hand. “Hmmmm. You know what?” Bow dramatically snapped and pointed at Adora. “From now on, you’re gonna be my younger sister.”

Adora didn’t know what to say. 

“B- but I’m older than you?”

“So?”

“So, won't that be a bit of a iss-”

Bow cleared his throat loudly, interrupting her. “Uh, sorry to ask but, I think I’m getting a little hungry. Is it alright if I call Gaea and ask her to make me some food?”

Adora then did something she hadn’t done in years. 

“Actually, I think I’m going to make something for you myself.”

***

_ Catra _

Catra smelled something _amazing._

She followed her nose and ended up in the kitchen, where two things surprised her:

One, Bow was back in town. 

Two, Adora was _smiling_.

Catra’s breath left her just a little bit. Adora’s eyes were sparkling, and she was chuckling, and _smiling,_ and oh stars, if they weren’t already married, if she and Adora were strangers to each other, Catra would drop to one knee and ask her to be hers, forever. 

But then Adora turned to her, and the dream was shattered with reality. Adora wasn’t actually hers. If she was, maybe she wouldn’t have stopped smiling upon seeing her. Catra could see Adora’s mood shifting into an uncomfortable one. A part of her felt guilty, but another part of her, the worse part, was satisfied. _Good. Why should an impostor like you enjoy yourself?_ Catra squashed that part of her down and scolded herself in the privacy of her own mind. _Stop it. You can’t be sure of anything._

_All the evidence points towards it._

_You’ve been accused of something you didn’t do, either. Just because there’s evidence doesn’t mean it’s true._

_Evidence is all that’s needed. You could find evidence that Entrapta is alive and well. You could prove she left of her own will. You don’t want to._

_Because I don’t want to ruin her life. She doesn’t deserve that._

_And you do?_

Catra was shook out of her thoughts when Bow turned to her. Catra smiled at him. 

“What’s up, Bow?”

Bow huffed at her. “I’m not talking to you.”

“What? What did I do?”

“First of all, I wanna eat this pie. Second of all, I'm more interested in talking to your wife. Third of all, I’m mad at you for keeping Adora a secret.”

Catra scoffed a laugh. “It wasn’t a secret!”

“Well you didn’t exactly tell me, either, huh?”

“You _knew_ I was getting married. You’re the one that left before the wedding.”

“Well I’m sorry for _running out_ , I had a family emergency. You know? Family? That thing you’re supposed to _be around?_ Seriously, how much time have you spent with my sister since your wedding?”

Catra took a seat across from Adora, who was laughing silently at her and Bow’s banter. “Sister?”

“Yep. Adora’s my sister now. And no, you don’t get to have an opinion on this.”

Catra rolled her eyes and stretched across the table, yawning. She’d barely gotten any sleep last night, following up on a lead about a missing child. It wasn’t Cyra’s parents, but a young boy had gotten lost in the woods, and it took Catra _hours_ to find him.

When Catra opened her eyes, Adora was staring very intently at the pie that was sitting in the middle of the kitchen table. Catra sniffed and confirmed that the amazing smell really was coming from the pie. 

“Holy _shit_ , I don't think Gygaea's ever made something that smelled _this_ good before," Catra said amazedly, while pouring herself a glass of lemonade. She took a sip and hummed in delight at the cool temperature of the drink, it wasn’t too sweet or too sour, it was just perfect. Exactly what Catra was craving after walking around in a uniform all day. “Okay, wow _._ Honestly, I wouldn’t mind coming home to this every day.”

Adora suddenly pushed herself away from the table and excused herself. Catra watched, confused, as Adora and her flushed face rushed out past her. She looked at Bow, who was now rolling his eyes at her.

“You, my friend, are a fucking moron.”

***

_ Bow _

Shortly after Adora left, Bow decided to leave too. 

He talked to Catra about Glimmer for a bit - suffered her teasing for falling in love with a princess - but ultimately decided not to ask her for help concerning Shadow Weaver.

She was already busy enough, with finding Cyra’s parents, plus her new marriage - Bow didn’t want to take her away from Adora. She was missing enough time with her as it was.

He could see they were still sort of uncomfortable with each other, and if Bow dragged them into a half-baked plan to threaten Shadow Weaver, he had a feeling it would make their tension worse.

He’d have to find another way, without Catra.

And luckily for him, he knew _exactly_ where to find someone who was always willing for an adventure.

***

_ Adora _

Adora went to sleep early that night, in Cyra’s room. She hadn’t spent that much time with her that day, seeing as she had spent most of with Bow while Cyra was climbing trees in the garden.

Adora kept twisting and turning over. Catra’s words kept replaying in her head, and she felt… weirdly happy. Ridiculously happy. It was just a compliment. It wasn’t like Adora hadn’t heard a compliment before. Glimmer complimented her all the time, even if it was in a teasing manner. Razz would pat her head whenever Adora did something good. (Mara would ruffle it and mess her hair poof up). Hell, even Shadow Weaver used to praise Adora for the first few years. 

So why did it feel so different coming from Catra?

 _I wouldn’t mind coming home to this every day._ Adora’s face was hurting from her smile and she turned to bury it into the pillow. She felt so different thinking about Catra now than she did when she had first entered the kitchen. Adora saw Catra and got anxious again - would Catra be mad that Adora had used the kitchen without permission? Would Catra tell Bow to stay away from the traitor? But no, Adora was worried for nothing. Catra sat down right in front of Adora, chatted with her old friend, and stretched - 

Oh, and there was also _that._

Adora probably shouldn’t have been staring at Catra while she did that. But she was, and Bow had noticed and nudged her, and Adora looked away as if she was doing something wrong - which, to Bow, she wasn’t. They were married, she was just… admiring her wife. 

Still, she shouldn’t have stared. Especially since they weren’t exactly ‘wives’. It was just a title. They weren’t partners, like _that,_ or like anything. 

Adora sighed, and rolled towards Cyra, stroking her fur. Catra’s compliment started to lose its effect on her. She didn’t really mean anything with it. It wasn’t even directed at her. Besides, why should she care? It's not like she was going to make something for _her_ every day. Catra would probably spit it out and think it was poisoned or something.

Adora tried to focus on straightening Cyra’s hair, and fell asleep with one arm curled around the kit, protectively.

***

The next day, Adora called Glimmer. 

Glimmer picked up, but kept the camera pointed towards the ceiling. Adora smiled and waved. 

“Glimmer! You’re not going to believe who I saw yesterday!”

Glimmer grunted, still pointing the camera at the ceiling.

“I met Bow!”

Finally, Glimmer scrambled to turn the camera towards her, and stared at Adora. “Bow? He’s back?”

Adora felt her hands go limp around the tracker pad when she saw Glimmer’s face. “Uh, yeah… he said he’d visit you soon… Glimmer? Are you crying?”

Glimmer blinked and used one of her hands to wipe at her eyes, then examined it like she was checking for tears. “What? No, of course not.”

Adora’s heart broke a little. “Was it Shadow Weaver?”

Glimmer smiled at her. “No. It’s nothing, really. I was just missing you. Tell me, how did you meet Bow? And don’t leave anything out! I haven’t talked to you in forever.”

Adora didn’t believe her. But sometimes Glimmer just needed a distraction. Adora talked to her about anything she could think of - Cyra, the garden, Gygaea, her slight fever…

“Oh, no! Did Catra take you to the doctor?”

“Uh, yeah. She had one brought here, actually.”

Glimmer grinned at Adora. “Oh, really? Did she carry you to see them? Did she stay by your side until you were feeling better?”

Adora blushed. Yes, she had, actually. But it wasn’t like… like Catra had done it because she was worried about Adora. Adora was nothing. If Adora died, then Catra would lose some valuable evidence. Once she had fulfilled her purpose, it didn’t _matter_ what would happen to Adora.

Glimmer took Adora’s silence as a confirmation, and squealed. “Catra’s really good to you, isn’t she? She must be pre-”

Adora wanted to change the subject. “Hey! Speaking of partners, when is Bow going to marry you?”

Glimmer’s face fell a little. “Soon. I can’t say when. But we have to get _her_ out of the way first.”

Glimmer was silent, thinking. She put her head down, closer to the screen of her tracker pad. She sighed, sadly.

“Adora… I really wanna see you.”

Adora’s heart clenched. “Me too.”

Glimmer sat up. “Screw it. I’m coming by tomorrow. I don’t care if I have to climb out my window again.”

Adora’s heart clenched again, but this time for a different reason. “Glimmer, wa-”

Glimmer had disconnected already. Adora banged her forehead on the desk, lightly. It wasn’t that she didn’t want Glimmer to come see her… except, that’s exactly what she didn’t want. Not because she didn’t miss her, because _god,_ Glimmer was her best friend, but because she wasn’t sure how Catra would react to Adora having someone over. So, she went to go ask.

Catra was sitting in the same small dining room where she and Bow had been the other day. She walked in and saw Catra was working on something. She tried backing out, not wanting to disturb the General, but Catra caught her eye and called her back.

“Hey, Adora. What is it?”

Just that. No greeting, no smile, no _how are you today, my wife? I haven’t seen you since I almost caught you ogling me over a piece of pie like_ I _was the most appetizing thing there._

“I wanted to ask - “ Adora stopped. Was she supposed to ask her? Catra was absent for hours, anyway. She wouldn’t find out, and it’s not like Adora was doing anything _wrong,_ so why did it feel like she was? She continued. “Um, can I have someone come over?”

Catra put her work down and frowned at Adora. “Why? You need something?”, she asked firmly. She was examining Adora like she was expecting her to trip up.

“Um, no? What would I need?” Adora stammered. Had she done something wrong? She wasn’t supposed to ask, was she? She had just disturbed Catra for no reason and now Catra was annoyed with her. Adora tried to explain, “I just, Glimmer said she wanted to come over tomorrow, so I, I wanted to ask if that was okay with you…?”

Catra stopped examining her. “Sure, why wouldn’t it be?”, she went back to her work. “I’ll tell the guards that she’s coming, and uh, I’ll send them a message that you’re allowed to authorize anyone’s entrance into the manor, so next time you don’t have to come ask me, just let them know.”

Adora nodded, still anxious for some reason, but now that the conversation was over, she started to turn and leave.

“As long as you don't try to pull some sort of trick on me, it's always fine.” Catra called out to her, still staring at the paper she was holding.

Adora swiveled on her heel, surprised. “What do you mean?” she asked, confused. Trick? Like the pranks they would pull on Juliet?

Catra looked back up to her. “I don’t know. Maybe you want to talk to one of your buddies from the Horde. Maybe you want to sneak Hemanogen into the manor.”

 _Oh._ For fuck sake. Adora’s face burned. “I’m not a Horde soldier.” she said with clenched fists. 

Catra stared at her, then shrugged. “Time will tell.”

“And what’s that supposed to mean?”

“Exactly what I said.”

Adora left, feeling even more confused and frustrated than before. 

She went back to her room and picked up a pillow, then with all her might threw it across the room, then started pacing. _God_ she was so _fucking_ mad. But what else could she do?

She finally collapsed into her bed, drained. All Adora could do was focus on getting through the next day. At least Glimmer would be over. 

Should she tell her - no. Glimmer was already worried about herself and Bow. She thought that Adora was safe and happy with Catra, and if she suspected any different, she would just be stressed about her as well. Isn't that why Adora left in the first place?

She wouldn't tell Glimmer, she decided. She was done being a burden on the young princess' shoulders.

***

_ Catra _

“Time will tell.” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” _It means I’ll find out the truth, as soon as Cyra is returned safe and sound to her parents,_ Catra thought, thinking of the reports of missing children that she was going over. 

She shrugged. “Exactly what I said.” _I need time. I don’t trust you. Don’t prove me right._

Adora left, and Catra went back to sorting through the reports. Any case of a missing child was important, but Catra was specifically looking for a Magicat mother looking for her daughter. Every once in a while, she’d come across a concerning case that she just couldn’t get out of her mind, and she would end up looking for that lost child, as well. 

Cyra was the most important thing on Catra’s mind. She even handed off the drugs case to two of her other officers, seeing as she was too busy to keep track of everything herself. The plan was airtight. The Horde and everyone involved with them would come to a final defeat at the end it. She just had to have people track those squealers, make sure they didn’t do anything too damaging to the Rebellion, and keep gathering proof of every time they accepted Hemanogen as payment in exchange for information. 

First Cyra, then Adora and the Horde - Cyra had to come first. Catra couldn’t stand the thought of someone out there grieving the loss of a child that wasn’t gone.

***

Another dead end. Catra was tired. She came home early that day.

Sitting in the main room was Princess Glimmer and Adora. Glimmer stood up to greet her. Adora looked at who Glimmer was so excited to meet, saw Catra, and rolled her eyes. 

_I saw that._

Catra didn’t say anything to her, though, just shook hands with Glimmer, and then took a seat next to her wife. Glimmer started talking to Catra about her day.

“So, do you spend most of your days this busy?”

“Yeah, it’s pretty tiring, to be honest. But I think everything is gonna calm down in about a month, hopefully.”

“Really? So you and Adora don’t really spend that much time together, do you?”

Catra sighed, feeling Adora slightly tense beside her. What was she supposed to say? _‘no, I purposefully ignore her because I don’t want to get close to her in fear that she might use it against me’_ wasn’t exactly something Catra wanted to admit to someone who was basically Adora's only family. 

“I… I wish I could spend more time with her, I do,” Catra admitted, tightly.

Adora turned her head to Catra, like she was surprised. Glimmer’s eyes softened, and she frowned. Catra was being completely honest, in that moment, and both of them could tell. She decided to be a bit more honest, even if she was telling the truth in the vaguest way possible. 

“I was actually thinking, once the current mission I have is over, maybe I can take a leave and... have a trip, or something."

True. Catra had thought of taking a break from work after they were done capturing any Horde informants, and she hoped she could take Cyra and her wife somewhere away from all of it. 

“Maybe to… Brotheria. It’s amazing. Have you been?”

Glimmer shook her head. “Bow’s from there, he’s told me a little about it, but he only ever tells me how boring it is.” Adora didn’t move her gaze away from Catra while Glimmer spoke. Catra smiled at her slightly, then leaned forward to talk to Glimmer. 

“They’ve got these beaches - the water is _so clear_ and the sand is so warm, I figured it might be relaxing. Plus, none of the Horde has it made it there so, it’s safe.” Catra kept glancing at Adora, who was still looking at her weirdly. “I was thinking of taking Adora on a hiking trip across the mountains there, go stargazing and all that - I’ve read stories about Eternia being known for astrology, so - “ Catra leaned back, accidentally resting her hand on top of Adora's, and looked back at her “- I thought you might enjoy that.”

Adora still didn’t move. She did, however, flip her hand up so she was also holding Catra's. Catra smiled, not sure what to do now, and squeezed her hand. She kept speaking about Brotheria - letting herself get lost in the dream where everything was plain and simple; her and Adora were married, she wanted to get to know her wife, and they were going to take a trip once Catra’s work was over. 

She found herself back in reality when Adora finally looked back at Glimmer, and teasingly said, “As you can see, she’s quite the romantic, despite only having talked to me twice in the past two days.”

Adora laughed, but there was something not quite right. Glimmer laughed too, apparently not realizing Adora’s laugh was forced, not close enough to see the slight sadness in Adora’s eyes. _She_ was holding Adora’s hand, not Glimmer, so the Princess across from them couldn’t possibly know that Adora was cold, and her hand was limp. Catra let go of Adora’s hand, noticing how Adora’s hand sort of closed around the empty space, like she still wanted to be holding it. 

Catra understood that sadness in Adora’s eyes. She could feel it, too. Sure, it _sounded_ amazing, but it was a dream. One where everything was okay, and the reality was, everything was _not._

“Sorry, if you’ll excuse me, I just realized I’m still wearing this uniform, and despite how good it looks, it’s pretty uncomfortable, so I’m gonna go change.” Catra rushed back into the manor, regretting that she had said anything in the first place.

***

Catra was leading Cyra to her room after having dinner with her. Friday nights were for her and Cyra only. Glimmer stopped her on the way.

“Hey, Catra... Can we talk in private?”

Catra frowned. “Of course.”

Catra patted Cyra’s shoulder and told her to go find Gygaea. She would let Cyra stay, but she wanted to try nabbing any sort of information Glimmer could give her about Adora. Glimmer would know more about Adora than anyone, right? Did she know that Adora had been working for the Horde?

Probably not. If she did, then Bow would know, and he wouldn’t have been so buddy-buddy with Adora, either. But if Glimmer did know, then either she loved Adora enough to forgive her, or, Adora hadn’t done anything that _needed_ forgiveness at all. Catra let a small part of herself hope it was the latter.

“What do you need, your majesty?”

Glimmer blushed. “Please don’t call me that. My friends just call me Glimmer.”

Catra was taken aback, but she didn’t let it show. _Friends?_

“I wanted to talk to you about Adora. She’s been through some stuff, I’m sure she’s talked to you about it a little.”

 _She hasn’t,_ but Catra nodded.

“I just … Adora’s really close to my heart. She's been living with us for years now, and well... Mom always wanted, that the person she chose to marry would love her, protect her, all that.”

Now, Catra didn’t try to hide her surprise. “Protect her? From who? Does someone out there want to hurt her?”

For a second, Catra entertained the idea that maybe, someone was threatening Adora into working for the Horde. If that was the case, Catra would _gladly_ tear them down for her. 

“No, she’s - no one wants to hurt her or anything - uh.” Glimmer shifted. There was something on her mind. “I just meant, protect her from _herself.”_

_Why?_

_…Is it because she makes bad decisions?_

“You’ve probably noticed, she’s not the best at being vulnerable. She never wants anyone to think she needs help because she doesn’t ever want to rely on someone.” Catra was sort of laughing on the inside. Her and Adora were a little alike with that. Never wanting to be exposed. Catra had her reasons for not trusting others. What were Adora’s?

“Well…Not since Mara, at least,” Glimmer said, sadly. “She doesn't really let anyone in.”

 _Adora doesn’t let anyone in._ “So, she doesn’t trust me?” Catra asked, wanting to know _why._

“No, it’s not that. It’s like,” Glimmer let out a breath, and rubbed her forehead. “I don’t know. You can’t really tell right away, but she’s really messed up on the inside.” Glimmer stopped rubbing her forehead, eyes widening once she realized what she had said. “Not that there’s anything _wrong_ with her!” Glimmer panicked, putting her arms out like she was going to physically stop Catra from jumping to conclusions.

“It’s not her fault she gets like that, it’s…” Glimmer had something on her mind again. She shook her head, “Look, she trusts me more than anyone. But she still doesn’t tell me everything. She knows that I’ll always be there for her, but this deeper, messed up part of her thinks no one should _have_ to be there for her. She's always so afraid she's being selfish, and she's always giving herself up to do things for others, even if it hurt her. I was hoping, maybe you could help her be, not so selfless? Does that make sense?”

Catra nodded, storing the information in her head, but not really processing it at the time. Nothing really makes sense to her after 12AM. It was late, she was tired, her head was hurting, and she was worried she might just straight up start interrogating the Princess. She just wanted to ask one more thing. 

“Is there something you’re worried about?”

Glimmer shifted on her feet again, her eyes darting around slightly. “Um, no. Why do you ask?”

She was obviously lying. What was Glimmer hiding? It didn’t have to do with Adora, did it? Even if it didn’t, Catra wanted to try to be a little helpful. 

“...Look, I can tell there’s something bothering you. Whether it's something about Adora, or something about yourself, feel free to ask for my help.”

Glimmer still didn’t look certain. 

“Um… Glimmer...” It was Catra’s turn to be uncomfortable. “To me, trust in relationships is the most important thing. If you trust me with something, I promise I’ll never do anything to break that trust.”

Glimmer closed her eyes and breathed deeply. “Of course…” She opened her eyes, and Catra could _swear_ that they were actually sparkling. “Thank you so much, Catra. I’ll keep that in mind, if I ever need help, but for now just take care of Adora for me. She thinks she needs to do everything herself, she always tries to - well, you know. Sometimes it takes a toll on her, and she… feels really alone.”

Catra steeled her expression. Time for another hidden truth.

“She’s not alone anymore. I promise, as long she’s with me, I won’t let anything happen to her.” And she really wouldn’t. 

Glimmer smiled. Before leaving, she said to Catra, “One last thing. I noticed you two had some tension, like you two weren’t completely comfortable with each other yet, and I just wanted to let you know… Adora’s never looked at anyone the way she’s looked at you. Just a thought.”

Catra _really_ couldn’t focus on anything after she had said that. 

But while going over their conversation, Catra realized there was something else she should have asked Glimmer about.

Mara.

Because when Adora was sick, and Catra would prop her up to make her swallow some soup or medicine, when she would use a damp cloth to cool Adora’s forehead, _Mara_ was the name she murmured in her sleep. She would say it painfully, adoringly, longingly… 

Who was Mara?

And why did Adora _want her_ so much?

***

_ Adora _

Cyra still hadn’t returned from dinner with Catra. 

She’d gotten used to having Cyra sleep next to her. It gave her something to focus on other than herself. But right now, she couldn’t sleep. So, she decided to go on a walk instead.

She ended up near a pond. She could still see the manor, although she didn’t recognize the room overlooking it. 

Adora began pacing the edges of the pond. Glimmer had asked her something, something about Catra, which had been bugging Adora all day.

Who was Cyra’s other parent?

Glimmer had asked Adora, just out of curiosity, if she had questioned Catra about her at all. Adora didn’t tell Glimmer that she didn’t even have the courage to ask if she could have a friend over, why would she try to ask about Catra’s personal life?

All Adora knew about Catra’s previous partner was that she was also a Magicat. Cyra was 100% Magicat, but the features she had adopted did not resemble Catra’s at all, which meant she resembled her other parent more. 

Adora also knew that Catra had ‘ _disposed_ ’’ of them, because they weren’t _fulfilling her needs._

What the hell did _dispose_ mean? 

People of nobility didn’t just _divorce_. Not without causing a spectacle, anyways. If Catra and her partner had had some messy break up, everyone would have heard of it. 

Then again, it’s not like Adora got out much. 

Maybe Bow would know. She could ask him… but he would just direct her back to Catra, the same way Gygaea had that day when she asked about the Fright Zone.

Someone cleared their throat loudly behind her. 

Adora jumped slightly. “Hi, Catra.”

Gone was any trace of the loving wife holding her hand and talking to her about taking a trip. Catra’s arms were crossed and she was tapping her foot. In one of her hands, she held a ring of keys. 

“If you’re done pacing around in sorrow out here, come back inside. I need to finish locking the doors.”

Adora rolled shoulders back, feeling her joints pop. How long had she been standing out there? How long had Catra been watching her?

“It’s fine, I can lock them for you. I’m not really tired, anyways.”

Catra froze for a second, then glared at Adora. “No. I’ll lock them myself. Come on, it’s cold out here and I don’t want - I don’t want to have to take care of you while you’re sick again.”

Catra had stuttered. It was the first time she had sort of privately spoken to Adora like a person and not a robot since their wedding night. 

“Why can’t I lock the doors?” Adora wanted to see if she could actually have a conversation with this woman. 

Catra clenched her jaw. Apparently, not. “Because I said so. Come inside, now.” She had stepped closer to Adora and was posed threateningly. Or, it would have been threatening if Adora didn’t get distracted by how Catra’s ears were flexing the same way Cyra’s did when she was agitated because Adora had gotten her in check. It was kind of cute, actually.

“What? Worried I’ll run away from you?” Adora teased, a smile pulling at the edge of her mouth. It wasn’t the appropriate time for a joke at _all,_ and maybe Catra didn’t pick up on Adora’s amusing tone, or maybe she just found it irritating, because then she said - 

“Yes. Maybe you will. Which is why I’d like to lock all of them myself, thank you very much. Now are you coming in, or do you wanna spend the night out here?”

Catra was mad, now. Her voice was raised, and her fists were clenched at her side. A memory of Shadow Weaver played in her mind, and she bowed her head down, pulling her arms over her chest.

_Generals expect their partner’s to be well-behaved, and if they are not…_

Catra wouldn’t. Would she?

Adora wasn’t sure. At some point in her life, she’d never thought that Shadow Weaver would, either. 

Catra let out an impatient breath, then asked Adora, “What are you even doing out here, so late? What’s on your mind?”

“Nothing.” she responded quickly. Adora didn’t move, but watched Catra’s tail swishing around wildly, slowly becoming still again. Catra took in another breath. “Look,” she said, this time a bit calmer than before, “I’m _sorry_ I yelled. Will you tell me what’s wrong?”

Adora faced Catra again. Why was she so _difficult?_ At times, Adora thought she could see someone sincere, someone that cared, but then, more than often, all Adora could see was someone cold. Detached from everything. Insensitive to the world. Or maybe just to Adora. 

“You can… you can trust me.”

_I don’t think so._

Adora chortled softly, without amusement. 

“Trust? If you don’t trust me then why should I trust you?”

She walked past Catra, keeping a distance. “Besides, you should know what it feels like when your wife doesn’t trust you.”

Catra didn’t follow her inside. Adora didn’t look back.

***

Adora laid next to Cyra, who was fast asleep by now, thinking. 

Experience had taught her that most of the time, the part you showed to the world was the fake one. People kept their real selves hidden from prying eyes, but sometimes, if you pushed hard enough, their real selves crawled out to show themselves. 

Shadow Weaver’s real self was the worst part of her. Yet, the part she showed to the world was _marvelous_. It was how she’d won over so many people in such little time.

Glimmer’s best self, her _real_ self, was a lively, joyous young girl that played a little too rough and laughed a little too loud, coercing everyone to join her playfulness, attracting people with friendliness. Her worst self was when she was angry, but not the kind she usually kept bottled up - the silent anger and misery where Glimmer wouldn’t even _try_ to fight back, just sit back a simmer in rage that Adora had only ever seen explode once. 

Adora’s real self was broken, but to the world she was _‘perfect’_. She would keep her worst self hidden for as long as she could to keep that image others had of her untainted. But the closer anyone got to Adora, the more they would see how… broken she was on the inside. Adora was determined to never let anyone see that part of her.

This… this wasn’t Catra’s real self. To see that, to understand who Catra was… Adora would have to see who Catra was at her worst _and_ her best. 

The best, she’d already seen. The best parts of Catra were the ones that held her up while she was sick, when she grasped Adora’s hand and squeezed it, when she was talking about taking Adora to see the stars…

And then there were parts of Catra she saw in moments that Adora dreaded. When they were alone, no one else saw how harshly she would act with her, how coldly she spoke to her. Adora wasn’t sure that was the worst of her, and that’s what scared her. She had no idea what Catra was capable of doing at her worst. 

Adora looked at the stars. 

_Mara. Help me._

Adora had no idea what the real side of Catra was. 

Would she ever even get close enough to find out? And when she did, what side of Catra would be there?

The one that held her hand gently, or the one that looked ready to dig her claws into Adora’s skin?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope this chapter gave like SOME insight into the characters and their backgrounds skjdksj ik some parts seem out of character (which is my greatest fear) but there's a reason. basically bow is the only non-traumatized main character (and his dad just had a heart attack soooo) (yeah that includes cyra. the poor baby really did need saving from some 'monsters' - I probably shouldn't have said anything whoops)


	5. torr dete hain, yeh muskera kar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> torr dete hain, yeh muskera kar 
> 
> _they smile as they break..._
> 
> ***  
> Adora and Catra argue. Nothing gets resolved. Adora rediscovers a passion, and loses it again just as quickly. Bow makes a shocking discovery.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm listening to the lion king soundtrack while editing this lol.
> 
> man i hate my writing! but u guys seem to like it so imma keep going 
> 
> i'm still in the process of writing chapter 6 but holy god it is SO LONG. WOW.
> 
> mild warnings for this chapter: talks of withdrawal symptoms/drug use, brief descriptions of panic, and the last part there's mention of drinking (holy shit is this much darker than i originally thought or am i just overthinking it?)

_Adora_

“Princess? Could you take this to the General?”

She agreed. Adora spent more time around the kitchen whenever she could, letting herself put the things Razz had taught her to good use. Cooking gave her something to do, something to make her feel useful. She was growing tired of just loitering about every day. Plus, Gygaea was always busy doing _something_ for them, and Adora felt guilty that she had to do it on her own, and she wanted to try to help her.

So even if seeing Catra was the last thing she wanted, she did Gygaea the small favour. 

Adora entered Catra’s room and saw her standing at her window, sort of leaning out. She didn’t turn towards Adora, so Adora quickly placed the tray on Catra’s table and began to leave, when Catra spoke. 

“Hey, Gaea, did Captain Grim leave an update yet?” 

Adora wasn’t sure if she should respond. Catra’s voice was lighter than usual, with a slight rasp to it she remembered listening carefully to the first few times they spoke. Adora stepped back inside to have Catra in her full view. She was relaxed. Her tail was waving lazily behind her and her mask was off, she was resting her whole weight against the wall. 

When Adora didn’t answer, Catra finally looked back and was startled to see her, and not Gygaea. Catra narrowed her eyes and tensed up. 

“What are you doing in here?”

Her voice was cold again. Adora gestured towards the table. Catra looked quickly between Adora and the table, seeing the tray of food. Then she looked back at Adora, fists clenched, hackles raised.

“I just came to drop off the food. That’s it.”

Catra was still glaring at her, but slowly let out a few calming breaths. She reached behind her for her mask and put it on, not looking away from Adora, but examining her up and down, searching for something.

“The door was open, so I didn’t knock. Sorry, I guess.” Adora felt awkward just standing there as Catra stared, so she turned and left.

What the hell was that about?

***

_Catra_

Captain Grim had informed Catra that a meeting between a spy and a Horde lackey was about to take place. They were nearing the end of the plan, and despite not being on top of it anymore, Catra still needed to remain updated about what was going on with it. 

Before, she was just going to let the others handle it, but now she left to do it herself. She didn’t have to, but she decided she needed to get out of her own mind for a bit. When she had seen Adora in her room, her mind jumped to the worst possible conclusion, which was that Adora had entered to steal some plans, the ones about the Horde. But the files remained untouched, and in fact Adora probably hadn’t even noticed seeing as she’d placed a tray of food half on top of them. 

Maybe tracking people she was 100% sure were guilty would make her stop over-analyzing every little thing Adora did, stop making her so skeptical.

Catra sat crouched in a tree over the location Grim had told her they usually met. Waiting for them to show up, Catra had a moment of peace to just breathe and think. So far, what had she discovered about Adora?

Adora loved someone named Mara. Who exactly that was, she had no idea, but she’d never heard the name before the day she heard Adora muttering it in her fever-induced sleep. Was there someone else in Adora's life before her? Catra felt irritated at the thought of Adora wanting to marry someone else.

Then she shook her head, as if that would clear her thoughts. Adora’s _personal_ life was none of her business. Right now she just had to focus on her like she was any other criminal, not like she was her wife. Catra had to keep that in mind. She couldn’t let stupid things like, like Adora’s smile, or the way her eyes looked completely grey when she glared at Catra, or really anything about Adora other than the things that would help with her mission, get into her head. 

Why had Adora asked her for the keys that night, after her conversation with Glimmer? Was she genuinely offering to lock up for Catra, or was she trying to steal Catra’s keys? She’d have to keep an eye on them. Especially on the ones to the library. That’s where she kept everything important, anyways.

Catra’s thoughts drifted to Glimmer. _Protect Adora._ Protect her from _herself?_ Glimmer had said she had trouble letting people in. If that was the case, how did she get along with everyone? She and Cyra had warmed up to each other enough. Bow had adopted her as a sister within about an hour of meeting her. Even Gaea would never stop talking to Catra about any small thing Adora had done that day. Pretty much everyone talked about Adora like she hung the stars in the sky. No one ever mentioned any problems they had with Adora. So what was Glimmer talking about? What _issues?_

And what was the thing bothering Glimmer?

First she got nervous when Catra asked if someone wanted to hurt Adora. Then, again when she asked if there was anything in Glimmer’s personal life. Surely, it had nothing to do with Adora, right? She knew her and Bow had a thing going on. If it was about Bow, maybe it was best if she left it alone. Bow would tell her if there was something going on. 

Catra heard two people approaching. She set up a small camera against her leg, angling it at the spot they were gathering. 

One of them was a young girl, Beatrice, whose father was a part of a retinue around a nobleman in charge of their armory. The other was _Kitch._

Catra bit her lip, feeling her fangs dig in to her mouth. She started furiously clicking pictures of Beatrice handing Kitch blueprints of their new armor, and Kitch handing her a poorly-concealed bag of gray and brown bars. 

Catra knew that the brown bars were Hemanogen. The gray ones were new, so Catra took a close-up of them. She would have to look into them later, try to get a real sample if possible.

Beatrice left, hiding the bars, but not before taking one out and stuffing it in her mouth. One more thing Catra had noticed, if someone who took it regularly went a few days without it, their condition would get worse and worse. They’d start experiencing what the doctors had called withdrawal symptoms. 

Kitch began to leave, after sending a message to someone through his communicator, and Catra leapt out of the tree and landed in front of him. He gasped and dropped his bag, laughing nervously.

“General Catra,” his voice was off and squeaky, “What are you doing here?”

Catra crossed her arms and looked at his fallen bag unimpressively. “Oh, nothing. Just hanging about. Making sure no one’s causing any trouble.”

Kitch looked at his bag, and realizing it was closed, he relaxed and smirked. He held out his hand for her to shake. She didn’t. He brought it back and rubbed his neck.

“Congratulations on your wedding. How’s Adora doing?” he asked. This time, his voice was steady, and had an edge of smugness that made Catra want to rip his face off. 

“ _P_ _rincess Adora_ is doing just fine.” Catra uncrossed her arms and tilted her head at him. “Who are you to ask about my wife in such an informal manner?” Catra challenged. 

Smirk growing bigger, he replied, “Oh, well, me and Adora are real close, actually. We hung out a lot in Bright Moon, when Shadow Weaver wasn’t keeping her busy. She got bored a lot. I helped her have some fun, loosen up a bit.” The way his eyes were gleaming, there was a second message behind his words. Catra felt her claws digging into her arms. 

“Really. She’s never mentioned you.” she said flatly. 

Kitch sighed, spreading his arms in a ‘what-can-you-do’ manner. “She’s kind of mad at me about something. Maybe I should visit her sometime, clear things up.” Kitch backed away from Catra, kicking his bag up and catching it before waving goodbye to her and walking away.

“Tell Adora I said hi!”

Catra growled at him, though he was too far to hear. She couldn’t wait for the day they caught him and all his friends.

***

She was sitting in the small dining room alone. Cyra had eaten earlier and Gygaea had gone to sleep. Catra asked Gaea if she could keep Cyra with her for the night. Gaea accepted with a smile, telling Catra she should do it more often so her and Adora could have some ‘alone time’.

Catra resented the implication but didn’t try to correct it. She wanted to talk to Adora alone, sure, but not for reasons normal people would want to spend time with their partner.

Adora entered the small room, took her own plate, then sat two seats down. 

That wouldn’t do. She glanced around, looking for an excuse to talk to her.

“Hey, Adora," Catra gestured to the pitcher near her end of the table, "Could you get me a glass of water?”

Adora’s hands hovered over her own plate, before she got back up and came closer to Catra, grabbing the pitcher of water and pouring some out for her. Catra watched as she did, and said, “I met one of your friends today.”

Adora stopped, and knitted her eyebrows in confusion at Catra. 

“Kitch,” Catra explained. 

Adora’s confused expression melted into an angry one. “I already told you he’s not my friend.” She finished pouring the glass of water and set the pitcher down, walking back to her seat. Catra grabbed her arm and pulled her back, standing up suddenly. 

“Really?” she said lowly, menacingly. “Because, he actually had the audacity to invite himself over to _my house,_ to meet his old friend Adora _._ Even suggested that you two got up to some _fun_ in Bright Moon when your guardian wasn’t paying attention.”

Adora was frozen. Her breathing had quickened, and she was trembling, Catra realized. Catra loosened her grip and Adora struggled out of it, moving away from Catra. 

“I - I don’t want to see him. I don’t want to see anyone.” She began to walk to her seat again, then stumbled and fell over. 

_“Woah!”_ Catra panicked, and made a grab for her, hoisting her back up. Adora’s eyes were a little glazed over, and she rubbed her forehead. Catra let go of her and let her stand on her own. 

Adora was still shaking. She reached a hand out and carefully gripped the edge of a chair. Her breathing was quick, and she slurred her words a little. “Um, ‘m fine. I just, I think I just got a little light-headed.”

Catra raised an eyebrow at her, then gestured for her to start eating. Adora took a few deep breaths, both hands now gripping the chair. 

“No, thanks.” she frowned at the food, looking at it with disinterest now.

Something occurred to Catra, and she went back to her own food. She picked up a knife and began cutting a piece of chicken. “You know, you should meet with Kitch.” Adora responded with a confused hum. “He can help you out with this stuff.”

Adora glanced back at her but didn’t reply.

“It’s been a while since you got out of here. You must really need some of the brown, huh?” Catra said, bitterly. Withdrawal symptoms. Appetite loss. Fever. Dizziness. What other reason would there be for all that? 

Adora pushed the chair back in roughly, making a loud screeching noise that startled Catra. “I’m not. On. Any stuff.” Her breathing was heavier now. Catra had poked the bear. A part of her wondered if Adora knew how to use the muscle she had. If she did attack her, Catra wasn't sure if she would be much of a problem or not.

“I just got _dizzy,_ because - ” she stopped, tightened her lips, then continued, “Whatever. Fine. If you wanna assume the worst then I guess I can’t really stop you, can I?” 

Adora left Catra and her food, storming away. 

Catra slumped in her chair, disappointed. If anything, today had further proven that Adora was hiding _something_ from her. 

***

_Adora_

Catra had grabbed her and for a moment Adora felt an intense panic seize her body. She couldn’t move, and when she could she wanted to get as far away as possible.

Catra loosened her grip, and Adora wrenched herself away, wanting to escape her anger. Why was she even mad at her? Was she angry that Kitch had invited himself? Why _did_ he? Hadn’t Adora made it clear enough to him that she wanted absolutely nothing to do with him? He was one of the reasons she had no peace in her life anymore.

Adora felt nauseated and panicked, and she could feel herself starting to black out again. She hadn’t felt this… this _threatened_ since Shadow Weaver had taken her by her arm and - 

Catra caught her before she hit the ground and helped her up. Adora reminded herself that she was _here,_ in Red Moon, not Bright Moon. There was no _threat._ No Shadow Weaver. There was no Kitch. There was Cyra and Gygaea next door. There was Catra right beside her. She wasn’t sure why she felt a little more at ease reminding herself that it was _Catra_ and not Shadow Weaver. 

Probably because if it was Shadow Weaver, Adora was more likely to have just fallen face first onto the cold floor, no attempt even made to help her. And when she woke up, it would either be to an empty room or to Shadow Weaver standing over her disappointingly with an empty bucket of water. Empty because Adora couldn’t waste time with those episodes instead of learning the history of Eternia. 

Adora felt a little safer knowing if she fell, Catra would catch her. She _did_ catch her. Maybe holding onto her a little longer than necessary, but holding her nonetheless. 

And _then_ Catra made a comment about Adora needing Hemanogen. It took a second for it to click in her head, because she hadn’t heard it be referred to as ‘the brown’. But then it did, and Adora was livid. Partially at herself for getting overwhelmed and letting her fears get the best of her for no reason, but mostly at the General for calling out her one weakness to be something else entirely. Adora was about to explain that she just felt overwhelmed, then stopped herself because what would be the point? No one other than Glimmer ever even attempted to understand, and even then she'd strictly advised her against telling others because they might think Adora was crazy. Why should Catra be any different?

First Catra saved her, and then Catra began accusing her again?

Why was it every one step she took forwards with her, she fell three steps back?

***

Adora was sitting on the bench placed behind one of the hedges that surrounded the garden, palm on cheek, thinking about nothing, really. Just staring at the flowers that had bloomed, soaking in whatever sunlight they could in the afternoon.

Cyra ran up to her excitedly.

“Adora, do you want to play chess with me?”

Adora sighed, keeping her eyes on the yellow flowers. “No, not now, Cyra.”

Cyra plopped down on the ground near Adora’s feet, resting her face on her knee. She peered up at Adora’s face. 

“Why are you sad?” Adora widened her eyes at Cyra, not expecting the young child to pick up on her solemnness. “Was it the monster?” Cyra rose her head, placing both her hands on Adora’s knees and shaking them. “Did they hurt you again?”

Adora sighed again. _Yes, she did. But not in the way you think._

“No, Cy, I’m just remembering some stuff.” Cyra gazed at her innocently, curiously. Adora let herself talk for a little bit, not even sure what she was talking about. She focused back on the untended garden in front of her.

“You know, when I was your age, I didn’t have a lot of friends. I mean, I had Glimmer, but that was a while after…” Adora skipped over that part, remembering how she tightly held onto person after person as they ran through fires and screaming, until Mara roughly picked her up by the arms and didn't let go.

“...before, when I was by myself, I used to... I used to tell myself stories to pass the time. And I used to draw, you know that?” 

Adora smiled, thinking of the day Razz had found one of her pictures and taken it out to show the whole neighbourhood with pride. _‘Look what my She-Ra can do!’,_ she would say, and then she would lend Mara storybooks with pictures for Adora to practice from. 

“I used to draw flowers, like those ones, and copy pictures from books, draw the birds in the trees, whatever I could find. Sometimes I’d make up stories to go along with them. It was the most fun I had.”

Cyra was listening with rapt attention now. “You write stories? You’re an artist, too?” she said in awe.

Adora laughed, removing her hand from her face and petting Cyra’s head. She slid down the bench so she was sitting next to her. “No. I wanted to be, though. When I got a little older, I entered an art contest at a festival that came through town. I won, and as a prize they put my work in this exhibition that would go to Bright Moon. That was where I met Glimmer and Angella.”

Adora remembered that day. Angella frowned as Adora talked to Glimmer about her life. Mara locked panic-filled eyes with the Queen when she found Adora chatting with Princess Glimmer about her secret. 

_That was when they discovered I was Adora of Eternia. And that’s when it all started to go wrong._

Before Adora could get a chance to dwell on it, Cyra stood up and tugged Adora’s sleeve. “Can you come teach me how to draw?”

Cyra stood in front of Adora, bright eyes full of innocence. Adora felt a little lighter than before. “Okay. You know what? I will. We’ll draw together. I’ll help you make a huge picture.”

Cyra bounced excitedly. “With flowers!?”

Adora glanced back at the flowers. They were pretty. She wouldn’t mind drawing them. She smiled at Cyra and nodded. “We’ll draw as many flowers as you want, okay?”

Cyra shot up and dragged Adora to her room.

***

_Fright Zone Castle_

Hordak stood patiently, waiting for the Queen to arrive. 

As patient as he was on the outside, inside he was burning alive. 

The Queen entered. 

“Hordak. Why have you returned? You know you are no longer welcome here.”

Hordak grunted. “Entrapta. I want to know what’s happening to find her.”

Queen Ash turned away from him. “I told you not to come back here. When Entrapta is returned, you will be informed.”

Hordak growled in anger.

“Instead of having the one responsible for her disappearance thrown in a dungeon, you had her married and moved to her own personal manor?”

Queen Ash sighed and turned to face the reformed Horde soldier.

“She is a princess of this castle. She is my… foster daughter. We can’t do anything to her without any true evidence that she was involved.”

“Who else could it be!?”

“Mind your tone. Why are you furious about this? Entrapta was only your supervisor. It shouldn’t be that hard to find another.”

Hordak went silent. 

“We are done here. You may take your leave.”

Queen Ash waited for him to turn and exit, then she let her shoulders drop and turned to stare at the portrait of Lynda. She agreed with Hordak. Catra was let off too easy. But Lynda had always had a soft spot for the stray. 

She couldn’t break the promise she’d made to her. 

Ash spoke to Lynda a couple of times while she was sick. Each time, she would always mention how much she regretted Catra not being there. She insisted that she was sure that Catra hadn’t done anything wrong, and asked Ash to make sure Catra was happy. 

So Ash gave her the _‘ultimate happiness’_ , as her daughter called it, and got Catra married to the only girl she’s _‘ever had eyes for’_ , also how Scorpia had phrased it. Catra was gone, she was happy, and Lynda’s last wish was fulfilled.

Now, Ash wanted to put the whole incident behind her. She didn’t want to hear any mention of Dryl. If she was being honest with herself, she just wanted to forget Catra existed. If it weren't for Scorpia's attachment to her and her illegitimate daughter, Ash would gladly have all mention of Catra erased from the Castle. 

Hordak waited until he was back in his little temporary workshop in town before letting his anger out. He threw a table across the room, watching and listening to all the tools clatter over the floor. 

Him and Entrapta had a plan. She would fake her death in an accident, he would meet her on the edge of the Whispering Woods, then secretly move back to her secluded palace in Dryl, away from the war, where they could be free to work on whatever projects they desired to do. But she had never arrived. 

The last message he got from Entrapta was ' _catra caught me'._ That was it. No further explanation. It wasn’t like her. Entrapta wouldn’t just leave Hordak without an explanation. 

He wanted answers as to what Catra had done to Entrapta. If he wasn’t going to get them with the Queen’s help, he would find out himself.

***

_Adora_

Cyra was in her room, coloring the picture Adora and her had made together. Adora decided to stretch her legs out a bit. She walked past a room that was usually closed, and recognized the inside as the place that was overlooking the pond. 

She entered, wanting to confirm what she thought. Inside the room was a floor-to-ceiling glass window, completely sealed so you could only look, not open. There was a couch pushed up against it, with a small table in front. Adora stood beside it and saw the pond, which looked more like a small lake from above, and realized from here, you could see the entire garden.

Adora turned and smiled at the inside of the room. There was a study desk and a chair in between two of the three shelves, which were stacked to the brim with books. Some History, some mathematics, but there were actual stories, as well. She ran her fingers over them, pulling out an old, yellow-paged novel with a worn cover, breathing in the scent of the musty papers. Adora took her chosen book back to the couch and sat down, flipping through the first few introductory pages and right into the story. 

_“In a small faraway farm lived a young boy who had never stepped foot outside of the boundaries of the pastures, until one day…”_

Adora tried to remember the last time she had actually sat down and enjoyed a book without worrying about Shadow Weaver finding her and dragging her into another uninteresting and lifeless meeting so she could learn the names of diplomats, trading issues, land disputes, things Adora found dreadfully boring. She hated those meetings so much. The only time Adora didn’t despise sitting still was when she was getting lost in a novel. 

She felt a little excited as she glanced at the rows of stories, wondering if she could start spending more of her free time in this small library, before continuing to read. 

_“He cried out as his foot slipped into the dark hole, and tried with all his might to claw out of…”_

Something made a large _clack_ sound, disturbing the calm silence, and startling Adora. She looked up and saw Catra, still in uniform, who had struck her taser against the surface of the table and was glaring daggers into Adora.

“What are you doing in here?” she asked accusingly. Adora stood up, presenting the book to Catra. 

“I’m just reading,” she defended.

Catra dropped her taser onto the table with a clatter, and quickly moved to Adora’s side, who moved further away from Catra until her legs hit the couch. 

“This room is always locked,” Catra said, her voice raising with agitation. 

Adora felt slightly alarmed at how loud Catra was getting. Usually she kept her voice in an even tone. She’d never heard her get mad like this before. She’d speak lowly, never outright scream. It bothered Adora more than she cared to admit. 

Shadow Weaver screamed at her like that, sometimes. When she’d had a few glasses. When Adora had shown a little defiance that week. 

It took her a while to learn that she hadn’t deserved it then, and she used to try to defend herself then, but that still didn’t stop Shadow Weaver from… from… Catra pulled Adora’s arm, forcing Adora’s closer to her, still glaring at her. Adora dropped the book onto the couch, no longer making an effort to get away from her. This close, Adora could see Catra’s pupils were slitted. 

“How did you get the keys?” she hissed. “When did you steal them!?” 

“I - steal? I didn’t - It was open,” Adora kept her voice even, despite how panicked she felt, “I saw the shelves, so I came in to read.” Adora finally regained some strength and wrenched her arm out from Catra’s, putting space between them, walking around the table. Catra growled and circled in front of her again, like a cat, but didn’t attempt to grab her again. 

“Really? Or were you searching for something?” Catra questioned, baring her teeth at Adora. Why was she getting so mad over - _Oh._

Adora realized the study desk was hers. And from Catra’s point of view, Adora made a habit of stealing information and giving it to the Horde. Of course Catra would think Adora was in there to search for something to give up. Adora bared her teeth right back at her, feeling frustrated and anxious.

 _“Searching?_ ” Adora looked away from Catra, just wanting to take a break from staring at Catra’s face, which was so close and Adora could see freckles - and tried to focus on putting her thoughts into proper words. “I wasn’t doing anything. You can see that all I was doing was reading that book, before you came in here and started yelling at me.”

 _Fuck you, I was getting to a plot twist_ , was something Adora managed to hold back from saying. This wasn’t Shadow Weaver, and Adora wasn’t a scared little kid anymore. She wasn’t just going to let Catra yell at her for no good reason, and this time when Adora put space between them, Catra didn’t try to come closer. Instead, she looked back at the story Adora was reading. Realizing her mistake, Catra looked back at Adora, this time with a bit of a stunned look instead of an angry one. 

“Oh. Um.” Catra awkwardly glanced between the book and Adora. 

“Sorry.”

Adora scoffed at her, and walked away. She took one last look at Catra and said, “Why do you keep doubting everything I do? What have I done that’s actually wrong since I got here?”

She didn’t wait for an answer, and instead headed towards her room, then without even thinking about it entered Cyra’s instead. She was in the corner, still colouring. Adora used the tranquility of the scene to collect her thoughts.

_Why did you freak out? It’s not like she was going to hurt you, right?_

Adora took a deep breath as she processed that. If Catra ever decided to…

 _No,_ Adora assured herself. _Catra wouldn’t hurt me like that. She’s not Shadow Weaver._

Adora gulped, staring at Cyra. Adora didn't get the sense that Catra was anything like Shadow Weaver. If Catra she was, the girl sitting in front of her wouldn’t jump into Catra’s arms every time she came home, screaming in glee. Bow wouldn't be one of her best friends. 

Then again, Adora also knew that if Catra was anything like Shadow Weaver, she was capable of hiding such darkness from even the people closest to her.

***

_Catra_

_Adora shouldn’t have been in here._

Still, as Catra held the hidden files that were still untouched in the bookshelf, she felt a little guilty for how she’d blown up at her… She stopped herself immediately, bringing the files to her desk and sitting down.

 _Adora_ really _s_ _houldn’t have been in here._

Catra told herself she was completely within her right to yell like that. This time, sure, Adora had just been reading. But if Catra let it go and Adora felt free to go through her things, she would find those files someday, and she would take them. 

Catra flipped through them and found the page with Adora’s name on it. Right behind it, there was Kitch’s. She placed them side by side on the table. Both had been marked with a red line at the top, marking them as guilty. 

Catra stared at it and felt her heart go cold at the thought. The red line meant a lot of things. It was the mark of a criminal. If copies of it were made and distributed, any member of the Rebellion could arrest the people accused. Catra was the only one with the actual copy. If she wanted, she could rip it up, throw it away, and no one would know Adora had ever been involved. But looking at Kitch’s…

Kitch’s statement said Adora was their leader. Adora didn’t have a statement. The person who had written the report had made a note that she refused to speak.

Adora was their leader. Catra felt hatred bubble inside her just thinking about it. If Adora was their leader, that meant she knew more than Catra had originally thought. 

It was absolutely imperative to her that these files remained safe. Catra decided that from now on, she’d lock the room herself and keep the keys on her, making sure Adora didn’t return to do anything unsavory to get rid of the only physical evidence she had that Adora was their enemy, not their Princess. 

***

_ Bow  _

Bow was not having a good time.

He hadn’t been able to visit Glimmer since he came back. He tried calling her, and she’d just told him to stop doing that because a certain _someone_ had decided that Glimmer needed to get rid of distractions and spend more time fulfilling the responsibilities that Angella left for her.

Bow was frustrated, to say the least. He knew Shadow Weaver was controlling, but hadn’t realized the extent to how much she governed Glimmer’s life. 

All Bow had to do was find a little proof of her intentions, find something or someone that would incriminate her. 

And so, he found himself in a seedy bar with an old friend.

Sea Hawk had told him that he was bound to run into some shady figures that would be able to help him with whatever he was after.

“Say, if you don’t mind me asking, why do you need help from the likes of these?”

Bow sighed, finishing his drink. “It has to do with Shadow Weaver.”

Sea Hawk choked and sputtered. “Wait, what?”

Bow chuckled humorlessly. “Yeah.”

And then Sea Hawk bolted. Bow didn’t blame him. She was basically in charge of Bright Moon now. But he didn’t leave before telling Bow, “If you’re going to get involved with _that_ … you need to talk to Kitch. But to be honest, my friend, you didn’t strike me as the type to - never mind. If you want something from Shadow Weaver, you need to talk to Kitch.”

Bow tried to explain exactly what was going on, but then someone across the bar yelled, _“YOU!?”_ , and Sea Hawk replied, _“FUCK,”_ and ran away, three men chasing him.

***

Bow found Kitch in the alley behind the bar. He watched, his neck crooked around the corner, as Kitch talked to a group of people, bottle in his hands.

“But, then - “ Bow could hear how drunk he was, “ -she thought of this thing, giving her away to the cat-lady, and get them both off her back.” he laughed loudly, “I swear, even devil's look at her and wish they could be that evil.”

They all laughed with him. One of them placed a hand on Kitch’s shoulder and shook him.

“C’mon, though, Adora didn’t deserve that.”

Bow’s eyes widened. _What does Adora have to do with this?_ He searched inside his bag and quickly clicked on the recorder he kept with him, a habit he’d picked up from Entrapta. 

Kitch shrugged the hand off. “Oh, what does it matter? It’s not like Adora’s dead. Although, Shadow Weaver was pretty disappointed about that.” 

“At least she got the Queen… it was like, one bird, two stones?”

They all laughed drunkenly again, and Bow felt his blood run cold as they continued to talk.

_No. They can’t possibly mean that Shadow Weaver had anything to do with what happened... right?_

Bow took a deep breath, adjusted the recorder so it could record everything they were saying properly, and mussed up his hair, wrinkling his clothes, before grabbing an empty discarded bottle and stumbling into the group, acting like he’d been there the whole time.

“She… she said two birds, one stone, but, hm… only, only one got hit? I, uh…”

“Come on, Kitch, you’ve had enough… you’re out of it, it’s time to head home.”

“Oh, yeah?” Bow said, trying to fake his intoxicated voice as best as he could. “If he’s so out of it, how come he can…” Bow stuttered a bit, not really expecting this to work, but said “...still talk to us about the Queen?”

Bow felt some eyes land on him curiously, but thankfully, everyone seemed to back him up, defending Kitch.

Kitch smiled and finished his drink, taking a new one that someone offered him.

“I’ll - I’ll show you how okay I am,” he poked a finger into the chest of the person that had told him to end it, “Right from the top, then.”

An hour later, with a horrible rendition of what had happened to Adora and the Queen recorded, Bow managed to sneak away, making sure he had caught everything Kitch had just revealed.

He was right. He was _more_ than right. Glimmer clearly hadn't told him everything about Adora and Shadow Weaver, but that was a separate issue. What Bow just learned wouldn't only free Glimmer from Shadow Weaver's clutches, it would have the witch thrown in a dungeon and then executed.

Not only had Kitch falsely blamed Adora for being a Horde conspirator, but Shadow Weaver was the one that came up with the damn plan.

And much worse than that, Queen Angella was dead because of Shadow Weaver.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tun tun TUUN
> 
> i'm hoping that's not really a plot twist skjdkjsds
> 
> so yeah. our best man is on the job for uncovering SW's bullshit. 
> 
> and those files 👀👀 perhaps have a purpose
> 
> catra is being a little shit lol but like its gonna be a whole lot worse before it gets better 
> 
> do u guys like kitch? i hope not  
> ***  
> gaea: oh have fun ;) enjoy ur night alone ;)  
> catra: ahaha we will  
> catra: *immediately creates an uncomfortable situation*  
> ***  
> catra: asks for a glass of water right when adora sits down  
> adora: if it weren't for my aversion to violence i would have murdered you
> 
> (that is sort of a spoiler buuuuut u should kno in this story adora H A T E S fighting)
> 
> ***
> 
> basic summary of this chapter:  
> -catra is once again sus of adora for no reason  
> -kitch gives her a small reason to be sus of adora  
> -catra is slightly jealous of "adora's ex-gf" and then tells herself she shouldn't care  
> -adora has a mild anxiety thing in front of catra and ofc she's not gonna TELL catra what's wrong so catra just assumes adora's having withdrawal symptoms  
> -adora remembers that she used to want to be an artist (ik in between both of them catra is more likely to want that but bear with me here, they got a lot of growing to do)  
> -adora finds a library and goes to read something but the library is actually catra's office and catra goes off on her  
> -catra feels guilty but she takes a look at adora's report again and sees that kitch said that adora is their leader, gets mad  
> -bow uses sea hawk's connections to find someone who might be able to help him get dirt on shadow weaver, and instead he stumbles upon the discovery of what SW and Kitch did to Adora and Angella
> 
> ***
> 
> spoiler for next chapter: the halls aren't the only things getting decked this christmas


	6. mere adhore seh khwab

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mere adhore se khwab.
> 
> _my unfulfilled dreams._
> 
> ***  
> Bow lies, a lot. Adora makes herself a new promise. Catra tries to review her actions, but someone new comes to town.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> some of you want to stab shadow weaver, some of you want to stab catra, and some of you want catra to stab shadow weaver
> 
> is this what season 1 and 2 of she ra felt like???
> 
> ok um tw's for this chapter: implied abuse, brief s**cid*l thoughts, reference to drugs, 
> 
> wow this shit is so heavy. i uh i would like to apologize.
> 
> would you guys believe me if i told you that the original story is SO MUCH WORSE than what i'm giving you here?

_Adora_

“I’m leaving tomorrow morning on some business, and I won’t be back until the morning after. You can stay at Bright Moon while I’m gone.”

_Why can’t I stay here?_

Adora didn’t ask. She knew what the answer was.

“What about Cyra?”

“She’s staying at the Fright Zone. Scorpia’s been missing her.” Catra took her eyes off Adora and looked at Cyra instead, who was staring at the chessboard thoughtfully. She was pretty good at it for someone her age. Adora wasn’t sure if she was a brilliant teacher, or if Cyra was just a remarkable student. 

“Alright.” Adora replied, watching as Catra walked past her to sit next to Cyra. Adora returned to her spot on the opposite side of the board, at the same time Cyra moved one of her pawns. Catra tugged Cyra into her side and smiled down at her. “When did you learn how to play this?”

“‘Dora taught me,” Cyra nestled closer into Catra’s side, while Adora became very interested in toying with the Bishop. 

“Really?” Catra asked, surprised. “Well, at least _someone_ did. I didn’t think anyone would ever use it. Glad to see it wasn’t a complete waste to buy it.”

Adora didn’t chime into their conversation, pretending to ponder about where to place the chess piece. To be honest, she wasn’t really thinking about how to win at the moment, she was thinking about what the next day would bring to her. A trip to Bright Moon meant a lot of things, but it mainly meant Shadow Weaver. 

She placed her Bishop in a place she knew would come in handy later, gesturing for Cyra to take her turn. Everything with Shadow Weaver was like a game of chess. Every move had to be calculated, specifically trying to dismantle whatever defenses your opponent had and figuring out their plans to put a clever stop to them. It was enjoyable when it was just on the chessboard, but Adora had grown weary of having to play it in real life. 

Catra still hadn’t left, Cyra had moved half onto her lap while they were talking and at this point she was also invested in the game. Maybe Adora could convince her not to leave her at Bright Moon. Adora started thinking of ways she could avoid going back.

There was no way Catra was going to leave her unattended for a full day in Red Moon Manor. It was clear enough that she didn’t trust her enough for that. Adora didn’t want to go with Cyra, not sure she wanted to spend time with Catra’s family, still feeling awkward about not knowing the full story behind why she was the only Magicat. 

The only thing Adora could think of was asking Catra if she could just come _with her._

They went a few turns, capturing one another’s pieces, and while Cyra was trying to find a way out of Adora’s check, Catra finally decided to leave. And just when Adora was gathering the courage to ask. She made a noise of protest, then immediately regretted it. 

She turned back to Adora, slightly agitated. “What?”

Adora was going to ask, but the way Catra had answered just shot down her confidence. 

“Um, nothing.” _Do you really think she’s going to want to take you wherever she’s going?_ "Just, I’ll… I’ll miss it here. Kind of used to Cyra and… you know.”

It was a lame excuse, but not untrue. Catra softened a bit, before walking away. 

***

Adora hugged Cyra tightly, letting the driver take her one bag into the car that would take her to Bright Moon. Catra stood close by, watching them with curiosity. Cyra let go and Adora told her to go have breakfast with Gaea before Scorpia came to pick her up.

Catra stopped her before she could exit the gate. “Hey, Adora?”, she asked, seeming nervous about something. “I asked Bow to come get you, first thing tomorrow.”

Adora tried to hide how surprised she was. “Really? Why?”

Catra blushed - _holy shit_ \- and embarrassedly rubbed her arm, looking away from her. Adora felt something in her chest squeeze at the sight. She grinned.

“Just - you said you’ll miss it here, and he’ll get you back quicker, so. And, Cyra is probably gonna get home before you do, and she’ll miss you, a lot. So. Plus, Bow’s been looking for an excuse to visit Glimmer anyways, and -” her wife caught her smiling, and immediately went back to being General Catra, standing up straight and gritting her teeth while narrowing her eyes at Adora. “It’s the easier option. I don’t wanna have to go out of my way to get you. Bye.”

Adora wasn’t sure what to think of _that,_ but she was sort of busy trying not to laugh. 

_So the big scary general gets embarrassed when she does something nice?_

Adora hid her laughter from Catra, waiting until she was out the gate to let a few giggles out, but had a feeling she’d heard, given the slight growl Catra made.

***

Whatever peace Adora had found earlier that morning promptly left once she stepped back into Bright Moon Castle.

She was expecting to be greeted by some familiar faces, and then she would head straight to Glimmer’s room, and spend the day with her, maybe stealing cake from the kitchen when no one was paying attention. Unlike the other night, she was weirdly in a playful mood. Adora couldn’t tamp down the excitement she felt coming back to what used to be her home. But of course, _she_ could.

As soon as Adora hopped onto the top of the steps, dragging her bag behind her, a guard greeted her, took her bag, and directed her to Shadow Weaver’s chambers. 

It was… not fun. Certainly reminded Adora why she hadn’t wanted to come back in the first place.

Adora left the room feeling a hell of a lot less playful than before. Shadow Weaver was clearly in some sort of mood. 

_“Who is Bow?”_

Adora felt something horrible creeping over her chest. She had denied knowing anything about him, but Shadow Weaver was really _fucking_ persistent. 

_“I - I think he’s Catra’s friend! That’s all I know, I swear.”_

_“Your insolence will not protect them. Princess Glimmer will_ **_not_ ** _be marrying someone of less stature than her.”_

Adora’s heart broke, and then her wrist - at least she thought it might be about to break - but Shadow Weaver had let go, citing something about not wanting to damage someone else’s _property_.

Adora was still cradling her wrist, and she noticed, it was the same hand she was wearing the ring Catra had given her. It was such a distant memory, putting it on the first time. She wasn’t sure _why_ she kept putting it on every day. She wouldn’t lose any sleep if she stopped wearing it, and Catra certainly wouldn’t mind if she did. 

_Property._ The horrible feeling in her chest drifted towards _anger -_ she wasn’t property. Even if she was Catra’s wife, Catra didn’t _own_ her. She was a _person._ She wasn’t an object. 

_But aren’t I, though? I’m a tool for people to use. I was given as a gift and now I’m kept as some piece of evidence._

Adora walked around the large castle, eventually leaving the large courtyard and walking along the boundaries, simmering in anger and resentment.

The sun went down and Adora found herself taking a walk in the woods on a path well known to only a few before ending up before a waterfall. She sat on top of a fallen boulder near the edge. Adora slid her ring off her finger. 

_I should get rid of it. It’s not like the ring matters to Catra._

A part of her considered it. 

A part of her considered throwing herself, too, just to make things easier. Her end was inevitable, anyways. Catra had some sort of false evidence proving Adora was a traitor. When the time came, she would use it to get the people involved that night arrested, and then leave her to her fate, which would be, well. Why not at least make it on her own terms?

Another horrible feeling twisted from her chest into her throat, and she breathed in and out slowly, pushing the feeling down. 

“Adora! There you are!” 

She suddenly turned back, Glimmer’s voice snapping her out of whatever she was thinking.

“I didn’t even know you were visiting until Juliet asked me if you would stay in my room!” Glimmer shouted while waving. Adora hopped off the rock and Glimmer ran to her, squeezing her into a hug.

Adora closed her eyes and relaxed into it. She chided herself in her own mind - now that she was away from the edge and not alone anymore, her head was a bit clearer, and the bleak thoughts were much darker than Adora was comfortable with. Adora looked back at the drop, and realized there were sharp rocks at the bottom. She had really thought about jumping in and having her bones _snap_ and _break_ against - she felt sick just thinking about it.

She let Glimmer take her back to the castle, idly chatting with her.

The ring was still in her hand. 

***

_Glimmer_

Adora was here. 

Glimmer was _relieved_ to have her company, even if it was just for a couple of hours. 

Shadow Weaver had been oddly nice to her after she had first left, and Glimmer found out why: now that Adora was gone, she had her _full attention._

Shadow Weaver tried pretending everything was peachy, treating Glimmer the way she had _used_ to treat Adora. Glimmer knew it was all a front. She refused Shadow Weaver’s offers to teach her about the kingdom. She avoided any events or meetings that would require her to be near her. It was getting on the woman’s nerves, and Glimmer took great pleasure in watching her fingers twitch as she held back a response to Glimmer’s blatant disrespect.

Her mother wasn’t there to reprimand her, Adora wasn’t there to hold her back. Glimmer had spent _years_ letting Shadow Weaver get her way, and she was fed up. Adora had once told Glimmer that she resembled a bottle of fizzy drink. If you left it alone, it was quite fine. If you messed with it too much, it would explode all over the place. 

Glimmer was _so ready_ to explode.

The day Adora had called her and Glimmer had invited herself over, it was because she was growing frustrated every day - she missed her mother, she missed Adora, she missed Bow, and as much as she hated herself for it, she missed her _father_.

(When Catra had asked if there was anyone trying to hurt Adora, she almost spilled - _almost_ \- but then remembered every time someone went up against Shadow Weaver, Micah would put an end to it, to _them,_ immediately. Glimmer had no clue when her father’s loyalty had switched from his family to _her_ , but it _did_ and now his mentor was untouchable. Glimmer didn’t want to tell Catra and put her at risk, put _Adora_ at risk. Adora would give everything up in a heartbeat to help, and Glimmer didn’t want her friend to sacrifice her newfound peace.)

_How could Dad do this? Shut me out? Let me and Mom go?_

It was all boiling up, but Glimmer immediately let it go when she saw Adora again. 

Adora, who had lost so much because of meaningless fights between royal families - if it wasn’t for the family feud between those two brothers, Eternia would have been able to fend off the Horde. Adora, who always held her back from _punching_ Shadow Weaver’s mask off her face because she couldn’t stand any more conflict. Glimmer let her rage simmer up, and then let it dissipate. 

Bow told her to be _patient._ She could do that. For him. Angella told her to have _restraint_. She would. Adora… 

Adora hopped down and Glimmer used whatever energy she had to pull her into a hug. Glimmer could just run away from Bright Moon and hide with her in Red Moon Manor. She could rave about how irritated she was with everything and everyone, how most days she hated even getting out of bed, and have Adora help her figure out a way to _not_ hate everything.

But the whole reason Glimmer had given in to Adora’s marriage in the first place is so that Adora would be free, so she could stop feeling like she had to protect Glimmer all the time.

So Glimmer made small talk and made idle chit chat about stupid things that made both of them feel like they were just kids again, staying up late after their parents had told them to go to bed.

Well, parents and... Mara.

***

_Catra_

“Are you telling me I came all the way out here for nothing?”

“Sorry, General Catra. If you’d like, you can still spend the night.”

Catra grumbled, twisted away from the officer, and stormed down the steps. “Take my bags to the room and don’t bother me unless something _actually_ important happens, _got it_?” she spoke, slightly growling.

“Understood, General!” The new cadet, Kyle, called after her. Catra didn’t look back at him.

Catra was _livid_ . Who let a kid like him deliver messages and expected him _not_ to screw up?

_Fucking Kyle. Who the fuck marks regular reports with “urgent”?_

Catra found a path where people seemed to be jogging, and decided to take a run herself. 

_As long as I’m here, I might as well try to relax._

It helped clear her mind a little. Her head was racing with thoughts of home, thoughts of Cyra, and, as much as she tried to ignore her, Adora.

She was right. What had Adora done that was _actually_ wrong since she got there?

Every time Catra suspected that Adora had done _something,_ she was proved wrong. 

_Okay, I’ll admit I’m being a little psycho. I yelled at her for no reason._

Catra noticed a wide turn going off the regular path, and started moving along it.

_And… I overreacted when she almost fell. People get light headed for a lot of reasons. Maybe she just hadn’t eaten anything that day._

Catra focused on her thudding feet and the ground in front of her. The new path she was on had weird twists and turns, and Catra focused on keeping up with them.

_She doesn’t usually eat anything. And she barely ever even smiles - well, she smiled a little every time Cy made a smart move in their chess game - oh, and the way her eyes locked on to the board when she started thinking - she got so excited when she got checkmate - but when she noticed me looking at her she got tense again -_

Catra slowed down a little and laughed at herself as she realized something.

 _Fuck. Adora_ does _s_ _mile. She does eat. She does relax. Just not around me._

Catra started sprinting faster, hoping she could outrun her thoughts. 

_Adora just isn’t happy with me._

_And it’s my own fault, fuck._

Catra noticed an opening among the trees where she had ended up sprinting where everyone else was still jogging and made her way to enter the path again.

_If… if all this is a big misunderstanding, if I'm wrong about Adora then..._

As soon as she turned onto the path, someone slammed into her. 

_“Woah!”_

Catra reached out and caught the strawberry-haired woman that had just knocked the wind out of her, pulling her up. 

“Oh crap, I am _so sorry,”_ she regained her footing and brushed her hair out of her face, continuing her rambling, “This is like, my fifth round and I wasn’t really paying attenti…” she stopped to gawk at Catra.

“No worries. It’s my fault, too.” Catra smiled at her, waiting for her to move out of the way so they could both continue running. Instead, the woman seemed to snap out of a trance and smiled back, holding her hand out for Catra to shake.

“My name is Adyn. Are you new around here? I don’t think I’ve seen you before.”

“Uh,” Catra carefully shook Adyn’s hand, squirming uncomfortably under her earnest gaze. “No, actually, I used to live here, but I recently moved closer to Bright Moon. I was just here on business.”

“Oh, really?” Adyn retracted her hand but still kept her eyes fixated on Catra’s. “What do you do?”

“I’m a General.” Catra awkwardly tried to step around her, not really in the mood for conversation, but Adyn spoke again.

“Oh, my dad was a General. He’s actually just moved to Bright Moon, too. Maybe you’ve heard of him? General Ayad?” Adyn was twirling a piece of her hair in her finger, looking Catra up and down. 

“Ayad?” Catra recognized the name. He’d retired a while ago. “Yeah, I’ve heard some stories about him.”

“Um, if you want,” Adyn searched the pockets of her hoodie for something, and took out a piece of paper and pen to scribble something down on it then gave it to Catra. “You can come visit sometime! To, uh, to meet him, of course. He gets kind of bored a lot, it’ll be nice for someone to come around.”

“Um, right.” Catra glanced over the address, noting how close they were to each other, then stuffed the paper in her own pocket and smiled at Adyn. “I’ll be sure to drop by.”

“Tomorrow?” Adyn asked hopefully.

_Tomorrow?_

Catra thought about it. She was going to take Cyra out that day. “Not tomorrow, but, some time, definitely. I’ll see you,” Catra lightly jogged away, but Adyn asked her for her name before she could pick up her pace.

“Oh, its uh, Catra. General Catra of Br - Uh, red, Red Moon.”

“Alright then, _Catra,_ I’ll see you around.”

Adyn walked away, and a part of Catra felt a huge weight off her chest. She wasn’t sure why, but something about Adyn didn’t seem right to her, especially the way she’d said her name while jogging away.

Catra had a small feeling she’d be seeing Adyn again. 

***

_Adora_

Glimmer was fast asleep next to her. Adora thumbed the ring, which she had switched onto her index finger.

Adora hadn’t said anything about her earlier conversation with Shadow Weaver. Adora asked Glimmer if her and Bow were still a secret, and Glimmer confessed that someone had told Shadow Weaver that Bow and her had been talking and sort of going out for a while.

“Glimmer,” Adora said, exasperated, “Do you have any idea what she could do -”

“But she won’t! Adora, Bow is perfectly capable of handling himself - _don’t worry about it._ ” 

“But -”

“Hey, tell me about Cyra.”

Adora felt some bile rise up in her throat at the danger Bow might be in. She _had_ to warn him, figure out a way to stop Shadow Weaver from hurting him… but how was she supposed to do that without risking both of them even more? 

Adora twisted the ring on her hand, and thought about Shadow Weaver’s words.

Adora was absolutely sure that her refusal to reveal Glimmer’s secret would result in some kind of ‘discipline’, but Shadow Weaver didn’t hurt her. Not because she had had a change of heart, but because she didn’t want to piss off Adora’s wife - Catra had more influence over Shadow Weaver than it seemed. 

_Oh,_ that’s why she’d given Adora to her, as some sort of token of goodwill. That was why she’d warned Adora to be _obedient,_ and asked Catra to come for dinner, why she was prodding her about work. 

And now, it was why Adora knew that she was, in a sick way, _protected._ Because Shadow Weaver needed Catra on her side, she wouldn’t do anything to hurt Adora.

Adora smiled, making a picture in her mind of what she knew.

Shadow Weaver wouldn’t hurt Adora - she wouldn’t even hurt _Bow,_ Catra’s _best friend_ \- because she didn’t want to be on Catra’s bad side. 

However, Adora knew that she was _already_ on Catra’s bad side. If not because she thought Shadow Weaver favoured Adora enough to pardon _treason_ , then at least because she had overheard Catra refer to her as _“a scheming, goddamn witch, who doesn’t even have an actual title in the fucking monarchy”_ , amongst other things on many occasions.

And she definitely wasn’t earning any favour with Catra through the marriage.

Adora felt a great deal of amusement. If this was a game, then it was like she had just captured the Queen and was only a couple moves away from winning.

Shadow Weaver’s _plan,_ at least the part that involved Catra, was a complete and utter failure _,_ and she didn’t even know it. 

And now that Adora knew, she would have some _fun_.

_Checkmate, bitch._

***

_Catra_

Cyra had been bugging her about where Adora was since the moment Catra had picked her up from the Fright Zone. 

At first it was cute, now it was annoying. Catra finally picked Cyra up by the nape of her shirt, lightly placed her on top of a desk, and trapped Cyra in between her arms.

“I already _told you_ , kid, Bow’s bringing her back soon. I can’t make her come back any faster.”

Cyra pouted and sniffled. “But I miss Adora!” She started kicking her feet against the table. Catra groaned and rubbed her forehead against Cyra’s wearily. 

“Please? Please, kid? Ask me for literally _anything else_?”

Cyra bumped her forehead against Catra’s, causing her to lean back and look at her. Cyra was smiling mischievously.

“Anything?” she asked, a lilt in her voice.

_Oh, crap._

***

_Adora_

The next day arrived, and Adora woke up buried under the pillows in Glimmer’s ridiculously fluffy bed.

The realization that she _finally_ had the upper hand on Shadow Weaver, even if it was only the one thing, had given her a sort of confidence and freedom walking around the castle that she didn’t even realize she hadn’t possessed before.

For example, Adora just smirked at one of the guards who came to tell her Shadow Weaver had requested her to join them for breakfast. Before, Adora would tense up, silently nod, and practically march to wherever she had been instructed to go, already preparing a mental conversation in her head. Now, she denied the request, saying that she wasn’t hungry, and that _Catra probably wants me to have breakfast with her, anyways._

Adora didn’t get rid of the ring. She wore it proudly on her hand, just for the knowledge that anyone else seeing her would at least respect her position as General Catra’s wife, if nothing else. It was ridiculously petty, spiteful, and childish. Adora didn’t care.

Besides, it worked. Shadow Weaver didn’t send someone after her, didn’t reprimand her the next time their paths briefly crossed. The people that usually glared at her or ignored her would either greet her or at the very least, smile before moving on. 

That is until, she ran into Kitch. “Oh,” he smiled like she had just given him a present, “Princess Adora! How have you been?”

“Fine, ever since you drugged me and tried to have me executed for treason.”

He started spewing some bullshit, and she did her best to ignore him and walked away, out into the yards.

“Oh, come on, you can’t still be mad about that night!” 

“Yes, I can, actually.” Adora walked faster.

Kitch kept up with her, still talking, putting his hand on her shoulder and turning Adora around to face him.

“And how’s Catra? We talked the other day, but she didn’t seem too happy.”

Adora grunted and shoved his hand away. 

Kitch raised an eyebrow at the reddish marks in Adora’s arms from where her sleeve had pulled up, and he faked concern.

“Oh, I know she wasn’t happy, but Adora, you poor thing,” he tsked, speaking condescendingly to her while Adora pulled her sleeve down to hide what Shadow Weaver’s rough grip had done. “I guess I should apologize.”

“Yeah, for a lot of things,” Adora muttered. Kitch chuckled darkly.

“I was talking about that,” Kitch waved to her arm, “I’m thinking Catra may have drawn some conclusions about our past. She was upset, and must’ve taken it out on you.”

Adora fixed him with a glare and came face to face with him.

“My fault,” he confessed, “I should really work on keeping secrets.”

Adora’s head spun with rage and her vision went dark for a few seconds. Before she knew it, her fist had collided with his face. He was asking for it.

Hearing his shriek and watching him grunt in pain as he clutched his face gave Adora a sick sense of satisfaction. She grabbed him by his collar and lifted him up so they were eye-to-eye, well, eye-to-black eye.

“Shut the _hell_ up, Kitch,” Adora threatened, “I think you’re forgetting, one word from me and everything you have will come crashing down. You think I’m gonna let you screw with my life any more than you already have? Stay away from me and _my wife,_ or I’ll make sure everyone knows what a liar you are.” Adora let go of him, not giving him a chance to regain his footing before pushing him away.

“We both know what _really_ happened that night. I’m giving you one last chance to _back off_ , or else I’ll open my mouth - and _then_ we’ll see how sorry you are.”

Kitch groaned and reached up to wipe his face, and his hand came away red - 

Adora froze and stuttered. She blinked a couple times and looked again, and there was no blood. But she could still _feel_ it, smell it… Adora became painfully aware of how her fist was stinging. She turned and fled, right into Bow’s arms.

He lit up. Glimmer was standing next to him, and she walked past to tell Kitch to get lost. 

“Adora! I’m here to pick you up! I’m sorry it got so late, I just…” Bow trailed off, realizing Adora wasn’t paying attention. 

Adora pulled away from Bow and took a few mindful breaths, trying to remind herself that there was _no blood_ and _no danger -_

Glimmer placed a hand on her shoulder. “Adora?” she asked, softly.

Adora turned to her and nodded, smiling softly. Then she turned back to Bow, told him she’d go collect her things and meet him at the front steps, and took off.

***

_Bow_

Adora ran straight into him - it was a little embarrassing, because he had actually forgotten he was here for her. Catra had asked him to bring Adora back as soon as possible and Bow had definitely _not_ done that. He lost track of time with Glimmer, and really, who could blame him? He hadn’t talked to his girlfriend - his _fiancée -_ in weeks.

Bow was in the middle of apologizing when he realized Adora didn’t seem well. She was slightly trebling and not meeting his eyes, and he could feel that she had gone stiff. He heard Glimmer telling someone off, and looked up and saw Kitch with a black eye. He looked back at Adora, and it wasn’t too hard to put the pieces together. Once Adora left to get her things, Bow quickly jotted down a few notes in his journal, then tried questioning Glimmer about the state Adora was in before she left.

“Um,” Glimmer pulled him aside, behind a bush. “Sometimes when Adora feels overwhelmed, or scared, for whatever reason, she kind of gets into this trance… she says it gets hard to breathe, and, well… I don’t know.”

Bow hummed and wrote something down. “So, she has panic attacks?”

She grimaced, nodded. 

“Sometimes, she’s even passed out. Look,” all of a sudden, Glimmer grasped his arms, “You can’t tell anyone, okay? Especially Catra. I - I’m scared of how she’ll react to this. A lot of people have gotten kicked out of their own homes for problems like this.”

Bow shook his head at her, gently taking her hands in his own, “Glimmer, Catra won’t do anything like that. I know she seems kind of coldhearted at times, but she’s really just a big softie on the inside. She’ll only want to help.”

Glimmer shook her head back, “No, Bow. I just don’t wanna take that risk. Adora will tell Catra herself when she’s ready.”

Bow opened his mouth, and Glimmer placed her hand over his mouth. “Come on Bow, I’m trusting you with the whole _sneaking out of here_ thing,” she whispered, “Now you have to trust me with the whole Catra and Adora thing - just leave them be, let them figure it out on their own.”

Bow licked Glimmer’s hand and laughed as she shrieked and wiped it on his shirt.

_“Bow!”_

_“Glim!”_

***

Bow dropped Adora off with her bag’s at Red Moon Manor before taking off. 

“Don’t you wanna come inside and have breakfast with us?” she asked hopefully.

“No,” Bow answered, “I’m actually sort of busy. I’m doing a little research for my dads. Tell Catra I’ll come by later!”

If Bow had a dollar for every time he’s lied to get where he is right now, he’d have enough money to bribe Shadow Weaver. He was currently sitting in the living room of a woman named Spinnerella, waiting for her wife to return so he could ask questions about Adora.

Spinny sat down in front of Bow, placing a cup of tea in front of him.

“We’ve known Adora since Mara - may she be with the stars - brought her here when she was just a child. Can I ask again, why the sudden interest in wanting to learn about Adora’s past?”

Bow took a light sip of his tea, then took out his journal, flipping to the newest page. 

“Well, she _is_ the last surviving member of a fallen kingdom. Not a lot of people know what really happened to Eternia. And, aside from that, I’m trying to write a biography about her. Sort of, as a wedding gift.”

“Oh, that’s sweet of you.” Spinny crossed her legs and leaned back. “Well, what do you want to know?”

***

Bow thanked Spinny one last time and promised to visit again, before closing his bag and leaving the house. 

He headed into a small town cafe to review what he had learned about Adora so far. And sat right behind him in the booth was Kitch, the guy Adora had punched in the face. Bow didn’t need to ask why, he already knew Kitch basically drugged her and then framed her for fucking _treason._ He was surprised she hadn’t beaten him to a pulp.

He pulled his cloak over his head and slid down, so he could listen to what Kitch was saying without raising suspicion. 

***

_Shit. Shit. Shit._

He gathered his things and left the cafe, leaving a tip at his booth. Shadow Weaver was looking for marriage proposals for Glimmer. Bow had to act fast. 

But he didn’t have enough evidence yet - everything he had discovered so far was just speculation, enough to raise some suspicion, but Bow knew any investigation would fail because of how much control she had. 

Bow couldn’t take her down with what he currently had. He also couldn’t let Glimmer be taken away from her home, never to see each other again.

He didn’t have the luxury of _patience_ anymore. Bow wanted to get Shadow Weaver locked away for what she did to Angella, what she did to Adora, but - 

He kicked a rock in anger and watched it clatter down the empty street he was walking on. But he didn’t have enough _time_ or _resources_ to accuse her of _regicide._

_I can’t get rid of Shadow Weaver. But… I have to get Glimmer out of there somehow._

Looking over his journal again, Bow kept flipping back to the pages about Adora. From what he could gather from talking to Spinny and Netossa, Adora was every bit as lively and childish as Glimmer described, but ever since she moved to Bright Moon after Mara’s death, she hadn’t been the same since. 

It was an unspoken agreement of why exactly that was. 

Bow skipped over what had happened to Angella entirely, focusing on what he had learned about Adora.

If Bow could prove at least that Adora had suffered under Shadow Weaver’s care, maybe he could… He opened the transcription he had of Kitch’s retelling of what had really happened the night of Angella’s death. The thought of letting her get away with killing Glimmer’s mother made Bow’s fingers numb. 

Bow knew what he had to do. That didn’t mean he had to like it. 

He took out a marker and began crossing out the part where Kitch described Angella’s death.

***

_Adora_

Adora had barely entered the room when Cyra jumped into her arms with a shriek.

It took her by surprise. The young kit was clinging to her like she was her life. Slowly, Adora brought her arms around Cyra and lifted her up.

“I missed you _so much!”_ Cyra let go of Adora and held out her pinky to her. “ _Promise_ me that you won’t ever leave for this long again!”

“Uh,” Adora looked up at Catra, who was watching them with her arms crossed, “Well, that’s really up to your mom, not me.”

Cyra turned to Catra, still holding out her pinky. “Amma, you gotta _promise_ me you won’t send Adora away ever again.”

Catra looked curiously between her daughter and Adora, before reluctantly taking Cyra’s pinky in her own and shaking it. 

“Okay. I won’t ever send Adora away again,” she agreed.

***

Adora was in her room, unpacking the things she’d taken with her to Bright Moon, when Catra entered.

“Um, yes?”

Catra regarded her silently, then closed the door behind her. Adora stiffened, waiting for Catra’s next move.

“You know, Cyra asked me to do something for her this morning,” she recalled. 

When she didn’t continue, Adora took her jacket off and draped it over the bed, then raised an eyebrow at her and said, “And?”

Catra glared at Adora’s jacket. “She wanted me to help her find the _dangerous monster_ that lives here, and get rid of it. Because she thought the reason you hadn’t come _back_ yet… is because you were afraid it was going to hurt you.”

Adora sat down on her bed, staring at Catra. They both didn’t speak for a while. Catra eventually pushed herself off the door and paced in front of Adora.

She suddenly turned to Adora.

“Do you think I’m some sort of monster?” Catra asked her, in an uneven tone, almost like she was _hurt._

Adora straightened up and glared at her, not bothering to try to refute Catra’s words.

“What, you think I don’t have _feelings_?” she continued in the same tone of voice. “That all I want to do is hurt you?”

_No, I actually don’t know what to think of you, but if that’s what you wanna assume, fucking good for you then._

“Well,” Adora sniped, angry that Catra had the audacity to be _offended,_ “What _else_ do you want?”

_Let’s see how you like it when someone assumes the worst of you._

“All I _want,”_ Catra answered, her voice back at an even level, “Is for people to get what they deserve.”

Adora stood up in anger, realizing in the back of her mind that she was a couple inches taller than Catra. “And you think I _deserve_ being treated like a prisoner?”

That made Catra falter, at least.

“I think that criminals should be treated like prisoners.”

Adora cursed loudly, rubbing her hands over her forehead while groaning. _Are you fucking with me right now? What is it with you and your issues with trust?_ Adora’s hands fell down from her face and she flailed them around. 

“How many times do I have to tell you - _how_ am I supposed to prove to you that I’m not a criminal!?” she shouted, gesticulating wildly.

Catra stepped back from Adora once she raised her voice. “To prove something you need _evidence._ Do you have any? Because all the evidence I have just proves that you’re lying to me!”

It was Adora’s turn to be silent. Her fists balled up at her side. As much as she wanted to try to defend herself further, today she had just had a very harsh reminder why she despised conflict. She just wanted this to be over with. 

“Well?” Catra asked impatiently, uncrossing her arms and gesturing for Adora to say something. 

Adora thumbed the ring on her finger. For a while today it felt nice reminding herself that she had a partner, now. Someone that was waiting for her. Of course, Catra had to ruin it by bringing up the fact that it meant nothing inside their actual home. 

When Adora didn’t answer, an exasperated voice asked her, “For _fuck’s_ sake, Adora! Say _something_!”

Adora’s eyes fell down, and so did her voice, when she asked Catra, “What the hell do you even want me to say?”

“ _Anything_ !” she answered, her voice straining. “Can’t you give me _any_ kind of proof that I can trust you?” Adora didn’t meet her eyes, and Catra started pacing around her yet again, exhaling softly and calming herself down before turning back to Adora.

“Look, Adora - I _want_ to do something about you, b-”

“Then do it!” Adora interrupted. Then, she defeatedly sighed, fell back against the bed and said, “Just kill me.”

Catra froze up. 

Adora didn’t mean it, not really. She was tired. Both of them were obviously pretty wound up. 

“Kill me, and get this nightmare over with. Kill me so I don’t have to live like this anymore.”

Adora grabbed her discarded jacket and left, leaving Catra alone in the empty room.

***

Some time later, Adora was walking down the hall to get a snack. 

“Amma, can ‘Dora come with us today?”

Adora stopped. Cyra and Catra were getting ready to go out somewhere, like they did every weekend night. Adora wasn’t sure _what_ they did, but they seemed to have fun every time. 

“No, not today kid.”

“Why?”

_Because why would she want me to be there? She certainly doesn't like me enough to be a part of a family thing._

“Because, this night is just for us! It’s our special thing.”

“Why can’t Adora be a part of our special thing?”

Adora left before she could hear Catra’s answer.

***

_Catra_

“Why can’t Adora be a part of our special thing?”

Catra smoothed out Cyra’s jacket, thinking of an answer.

“You know what, Cy, tomorrow I’ll ask her if she wants to come, and if she says yes, next week we’ll bring her with us. Sounds good?”

Cyra nodded, and Catra took her hand so they could leave.

***

_Kill me._

The words kept bouncing around in Catra’s head.

_Kill me. Kill me. Get this nightmare over with._

Catra pushed it to the back of her mind and tried focusing on Cyra, who was running around the dark playground.

Why did Catra’s heart feel like it’d been twisted into a knot?

Cyra ran up to her. “Amma! Can I go climb that tree?” she pointed to a large oak tree in the distance, where a few other children were playing. Catra heard a beep on her communicator. 

“Yeah, sure. Just stay in my sight, okay?” Cyra squealed and bounded away on all fours. “And don’t wander off with anyone! Stay with your friends!”

Catra started taking a walk around the perimeter of the park, reading the messages DT had sent her, when someone bumped into her once again. 

“Wow, we have _got_ to stop meeting like this, _Catra_.” Adyn’s icy blue eyes bore into Catra’s heterochromatic own. She chuckled awkwardly, taking a step back. “Um, yeah.” She looked down at what she had been reading, skirting past Adyn.

Adyn cleared her throat and walked beside her. “Um, I mentioned you to my dad and he’s really excited to meet you. He wanted to get in contact with you, but uh, I didn’t get your number or anything.” 

Catra slowed down and turned off her communicator, placing it back in her side pocket. “Right. Yeah. I’ll come by and give it to him myself.”

Adyn faltered a bit, like she didn’t expect that response, then smirked and giggled. “You know, I get why he’s so obsessed with you. There’s definitely something… alluring about you.”

Catra’s tail lashed behind her and she blushed. “S-sorry?”

Adyn tilted her head and laughed. “Never mind. So, I can safely assume you’ll be over at my place in the next couple of days?”

Catra nodded, then it came to her attention that she couldn’t see Cyra from where she was standing, and excused herself.

“I’ll see you later, _Catra!”_

Once again, that funny feeling Catra had that made her want to get _away_ arrived. 

Perhaps the only way to get Adyn off her back was to actually drop by. Catra put it on the mental to-do list for tomorrow.

***

Adora was already asleep when Cyra and Catra returned.

“Amma, did you get rid of the monster?”

Catra let go of Cyra’s hand and knelt down to look her right in the eyes, thinking of what to say.

“Yeah, Cyra... I think I did. I hope I did. And I promise, from now on, Adora’s not gonna have to be afraid, okay?”

Cyra beamed and gave her a tight hug around the neck, and then she sent Cyra straight to bed, returned to her own room, took off her mask and flopping face-first onto her bed.

_Have I been… Am I really... a monster to her?_

Catra turned over in her bed. 

_I didn’t mean, to make her feel… like that. I don’t want to hurt her - I just -_

Catra groaned and pulled the blankets around her, creating a cocoon with them to sleep in. She didn’t have time to have a self-therapy session tonight, she had to socialize with _people_ tomorrow. 

And she _hated_ people.  
  


***

_Okay, so this wasn’t as bad as I thought it’d be._

Catra found herself actually enjoying the presence of the former-General, Ayad. Even Adyn was turning out to be a pleasant person once Catra actually sat down and had a conversation with her. They were a welcome distraction from the mess Adora had left her to think about. 

(Speaking of Adora, Catra thinks she succeeded in sort of apologizing to her. She left the full series of books in Adora’s room that were similar to the one she’d been reading that day, and true to her word, she’d asked Adora if she’d like to come with her and Cyra next time they went out, and Adora had been surprised but she had agreed.)

Lost in her own thoughts, Catra didn’t fully understand the looks Adyn kept shooting her father whenever she said something that impressed the man.

Eventually though, Catra was running out of energy to socialize, so she gave her contact information to Ayad and bid him goodbye, excusing herself by saying she had some work to do. 

_Well,_ Catra thought as she entered her car, _guess that’s the end of that. It’s a shame, though, I was kind of warming up to Adyn. Maybe we’ll see each other again soon, someday._

***

‘Someday’ ended up being the _very next day._

Earlier, Adora had tentatively entered her room, the first time she had voluntarily spoken to Catra since their _incident_ when she’d returned from Bright Moon, and asked if she could go horse-riding with Bow. Catra had been surprised that Adora was asking her so nervously, and Adora took her surprise as hesitation. 

“I’ll be with him the whole time, and, Glimmer will be there, too. It’s just a chance for the three of us to hang out a little. I told him I’d think about it…”

“Well… what about Cyra? She can’t seem to live without you,” Catra joked. 

Adora’s face fell a little. “Oh, right. I’ll tell him no, then…” She began to leave the room. Catra laughed lightly before faking a cough and stopping Adora. She stopped and turned around, with a face so gloomy that Catra’s heart did that knot thing again, and she found herself suggesting - 

“Uh, you could take Cy with you,” Catra offered, “If you want?”

Just as quickly as it had fallen, it brightened up again. “Wait, really?”

Catra nodded. Adora beamed at her, practically buzzing with excitement.

“Great! Um, I’m going to go get Cyra ready, uh, thank you!”

“Wait -” Adora looked back to face her, her ponytail swinging around uncontrollably. Catra felt an urge to tuck back the few hairs that had gotten loose.

“I…” Catra swallowed the lump in her throat. “Just, be back in time for dinner, all right? You’re going to - You guys are going to end up tiring yourselves out, and I don’t want Cyra eating outside food.”

Adora gave her a crooked smile again. “ _Thanks,_ Catra.” she repeated, but this time her thanks had a different kind of weight to it. 

Catra stayed still in her spot until Adora was gone, replaying her voice in her head and her smile in her head. She found herself smiling, her heart filling with an unfamiliar feeling - before snapping out of it and curling into her chair to go over new messages she had received on her tracker pad.

There was a delivery from Bright Moon for Adora - it was a surprise present from Glimmer. Other than that, it was just regular updates on the operation, the missing kids she had alerts on for, and DT’s messages about what information they had gathered - Catra felt herself yawning halfway through, and turned it off so she could drift into a nap. 

She was woken up by a guard informing her that Adyn was standing in the courtyard, requesting to speak to her.

Catra put on her best face, trying not to show how annoyed she was at someone unexpectedly showing up at her house, and greeted Adyn, who thrusted out a bouquet of flowers at Catra.

She tried making light conversation, but with the cicadas that started chirping at sunset and the scent of the too-strong flowers were bearing themselves into Catra’s senses and a headache was forming - 

Adyn picked up on it. “You don’t seem too happy. What, am I bothering you?” she teased, albeit a bit nervously. 

Catra laid the flowers down on a ledge, “No, no, of course not.” _Yeah, kind of. But it's not like you’re bothering me on purpose, so it's fine, I guess._ “I’m just a little stressed about something.”

Adyn relaxed and started twirling her hair again. “So,” she drawled, “Anyone else here?”

“Uh,” Well, Adora and Cyra weren’t home, so, “No.”

Adyn grinned, but _~~unlike Adora’s excited grin that made Catra’s heart feel like it was going to burst~~ _ it seemed mischievous rather than friendly. “Really? So you’re all alone out here?” she continued to drawl, “That must be pretty boring.”

Catra forced a chuckle. “Only when no one else is around!”

Adyn tilted her head towards the inside of the manor. “So I’m guessing you want some company?” she suggested. Catra raised an eyebrow at her, confused. 

“What do you mean? We’re already hanging out. So, no.”

Adyn scoffed a little and her face fell. “You know, I… it’s getting late, so I think I’m going to head out.”

Catra waved her goodbye, feeling like she’d offended her somehow.

_At least I can go back to my nap._

But, _nooo._ About two minutes after Catra had gone back inside, Cyra was jumping on her back screaming in glee.

“Alright, _alright_ you little rascal - “ she pulled the child off of her and pushed Cyra towards her room. “Go have some food, then straight to bed.”

Cyra bolted down the hall, somehow still having energy after being out all day, and Catra was left alone with Adora.

“Bow didn’t come in?” she questioned, gesturing to the empty doorway.

“He said he had some business to take care of. He actually seemed pretty distracted all day, so I let him go.”

Catra nodded, turning to go back to her room.

“Um,” Adora said, “I saw a woman leaving, while we were getting in.”

Catra glanced back at Adora. “And?”

Adora shifted on her feet. “Who was she? Why did she come to visit?”

Catra examined Adora. She was agitated, shifting from one foot to the other and clenching her fists while trying to glare at Catra. 

“What difference does it make to you who comes and goes?”

Adora got more irritated at that. “Maybe you’re forgetting that this is _my_ house, too.”

Catra held back a laugh. “And maybe _you’re_ forgetting - “

“Yeah! I am! I keep forgetting that none of this is actually _mine._ But don’t worry, you keep reminding me.” And with that Adora left, pushing past Catra to get to her own room. Once she was gone, Catra dissolved into laughter.

Adora was _jealous_ and _stars,_ it was fucking adorable.

***

_Adora_

Adora furiously marched to her room.

_Of course, right when I start to think Catra might like me - she probably said I can go just so she can meet this… her girlfriend, or whoever that was._

_Maybe she’ll cancel on me and Cyra next week, just so she can have her over again while we get out of the manor for the night..._

_Why do I even care? She can do whatever she wants. Maybe she’ll even divorce me, or do whatever she did with her last partner, then I’ll be free._

So what if Adora had started to think that maybe Catra had started to warm up to her? So what if Adora had carefully read every single book that Catra left for her and accepted them as some sort of unspoken apology? 

_It was all just a way to get me on her good side, wasn’t it?_

Adora entered her room to find a new mahogany chest at the end of her bed. On top of it was a note.

> _For Adora -_
> 
> _I know you said there was no point in keeping these, but please reconsider. These used to mean so much to you._
> 
> _Love you._
> 
> _-Glimmer_

Adora cracked open the lid, the feeling in her chest heavier than the wood, and saw all the sketchpads, books, and picture albums she had given to Glimmer to throw out. 

She reached in and carefully pulled out the oldest book she had.

_She-Ra the Princess of Power: A Loss for Words_

It was the first one Razz had given to her. A sorceress stole She-Ra’s voice, and She-Ra couldn’t speak out against the evil the Swarm was doing. She couldn’t say the magic words to summon her powers, so she couldn’t defend herself, either. 

Adora remembered she had only read it once or twice, not because it wasn’t interesting, but because Adora didn’t like the thought of someone being so helpless that they couldn’t even _speak_ about what was happening. 

_How ironic._

“ _'_ _Dora?_ ” she heard a small voice call out to her, and closed the lid to turn and see Cyra standing with a blanket wrapped around her. She held out her arms and Cyra ran into them, squirming into Adora’s lap. 

“I had a bad dream.” Cyra whispered, tightening her arms around her neck.

“It’s okay, it was just a nightmare.” Adora whispered back, picking them both up and laying down on the bed. “It wasn’t real.”

Cyra sniffled, and Adora ran soothing circles around her back. “But it was.”

“What do you mean?”

After a while of sniffling, Cyra lifted her head up and looked right at Adora, purposefully blinking _very_ slowly before settling back down and answering her question.

“I was with my ma… and someone took me away again. But this time I couldn’t run away.”

Adora let out a soft _oh,_ and pulled Cyra’s blanket tighter around her. As much as she wanted to ask more questions about what the _fuck_ Cyra was talking about, Adora didn’t want to stress the little girl out while she was already upset. “Well, it’s okay now, right? Your mom’s right down the hall, and no one’s trying to take you away.”

Cyra’s eyes fluttered open and close again, but this time because of sleepiness rather than for a purpose. “Catra-ma, or my ma?” she murmured.

“What?” Adora asked, but when it was clear Cyra was falling back asleep, she pulled up her own duvet cover and tucked Cyra in, before returning to her chest of memories. 

***

Adora was sitting on the floor near the window, books and sketchpads scattered around her, before her eyes fell upon the small novel again. For the first time in years, she cracked open _A Loss of Words_ , and was surprised as a picture fell out. 

She smoothed it out, noticing some writing on the back. Adora chuckled, then started full out laughing. It was a crude drawing of her and Glimmer, and she had signed it in the corner.

_Adora of Eternia, age 11_

Adora flipped it over and read the note on the back. 

_To whoever finds this, be careful! This is an ORIGINAL PIECE of one of the GREATEST ARTISTS IN THE WORLD!!_

Her smile melted into a frown and her laughter subsided into a deafening silence. 

“Oh, Adora,” she sighed, speaking to herself. “What the hell was wrong with you?”

***

_Catra _

“Cyra?” Catra called quietly as she opened her daughter’s room. Noticing an absence where the kid’s body should’ve been, Catra went down the hall to check if she was with Adora.

_“Oh, Adora.”_

Catra stopped outside the open door, shifting slightly so she could see where Adora was sitting with a book and a piece of paper in the middle of the floor, talking to herself.

She sighed. _“What the hell was wrong with you?”_

Catra knitted her eyebrows in confusion.

_Well, I think the drugs, for starters._

Catra snickered quietly at her own joke, then stopped as Adora also laughed humorlessly, reaching inside the chest that had been delivered from Bright Moon and taking out a sketchbook, flipping through it. 

She hummed, tracing a drawing. “Thinking you could grow up and do what you want… Look at all of these old dreams… I can’t even get the ground beneath my feet, and I was reaching for the stars,” Adora put the sketchbook down, defeated. “Remember your place, _Princess Adora_...”

She was silent for a while, and Catra didn’t dare move. Finally, Adora looked up at the ceiling, and Catra could see she had the slightest of tears in her eyes and rolling over her cheeks. 

“I miss you… if only you were still here, Mara. You wouldn’t have forced any of this on me… I could be free to do what I wanted.” Adora took a breath. “But then again, if you hadn’t always tried so hard to keep me safe, you’d still be here, wouldn’t you… _right, Mom_?”

The word was spoken so quietly, Catra felt like she’d misheard it for a second. Then once it settled in, she felt like it was a punch in the face. Mara was Adora’s _mom,_ and Catra had gone around thinking something _very_ different about their relationship.

Adora went on, talking to the ceiling - no, to Mara. “I miss you so much… Why did you leave me? You said I wouldn’t ever be alone again…”

Her voice was small and broken, and her breaths broke out in a sob.

“I could barely sleep as is, and these days, my whole night is spent just - just - _scared_ and _alone…_ I can’t…”

Adora took a deep breath and stood up. Catra slid further back into the hallway to avoid intruding on a personal moment - well, letting it be _known_ that she was intruding on a personal moment. 

“But enough is enough. You wouldn’t want me to sit around like this, feeling sorry for myself. I’m done crying,” she said determinedly, wiping her tears. “Fuck it. You know what? I’m not giving up on myself. I’m going to be an artist again. Even if…” Adora’s voice cracked, and she cleared her throat and told Mara, “Even if Catra decides to get rid of me next week, I’m going to try.”

Catra felt something wet soak into her fur. She took a few steps back, then ran down the hallway as silently as she could, not stopping until she reached a place to think.

***

Catra was pondering over what she had just overheard when her communicator went off.

“Hello?”

_“Hiya! What’s up?”_

“S- sorry, who is this?”

_“Oh, this is Adyn! I got your number off of my dad. And I was just thinking of you, so I figured, why not call?”_

Catra sighed. She wasn’t in the mood for small talk, but also didn’t want to upset Adyn any further.

“Um, okay. I’m… good, I guess.”

Static. Maybe that wasn’t the right thing to say?

 _“Looks like I’ve called at a bad time.”_ The annoyance was clear in her voice. _“I’ll see you. Bye.”_

_Click._

Catra tossed her communicator to the side. She’d deal with that mess later.

_Even if Catra decides to get rid of me next week…_

_Kill me._

Catra felt an unusual anger rise inside of her. Not at Adora, but at herself. When had she let herself get so cynical that she couldn’t even recognize when a person was suffering _so much?_

And, because of _her_?

Catra remembered all too well how hurt she was when Lynda didn’t believe her. Ash had never really warmed up to her, but Lynda had always treated her like a daughter. Scorpia had, well, she and Catra had always had a bit of a complicated relationship. 

Catra was still surprised that she had so easily believed that she had anything to do with Entrapta’s disappearance. She tried to put herself in Adora’s place. What if Adora knew that Catra was falsely accused of killing someone, and had treated her accordingly? What if the next day proved Adora really was as perfect as she seemed, and Catra had been mistreating her for no reason?

_You’ve been such an asshole. Again._

Maybe Catra could try giving Adora the benefit of the doubt, something no one had given her… 

Was it worth the risk? Because what if Catra really _had_ done something to Entrapta, and Lynda, out of pure emotion for her adopted-daughter, had just let her get away with it? 

Catra picked up her discarded communicator and trekked back to her room. 

Was Adora worth the risk?

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> adora: my past is filled with violence, I hate the thought of any sort of conflict so much it fills me with dread whenever I’m put into a situation where I can possibly get hurt
> 
> also adora, rolling up her sleeves: these hands rated E for everyone
> 
> ***  
> catra, trying to have a conversation: ffs is there ANYTHIGN i can do with u??
> 
> adora, depressed: bro,, just hit me with ur car or smthn tbh
> 
> catra:
> 
> catra: _bitch i might_
> 
> ***
> 
> catra: my family thinks I’m a murderer, i'm having conflicted feeling about my wife, I think I accidentally kidnapped a child, and I’m also overseeing an entire dangerous operation, there is so much on my pla-
> 
> adyn: allow me to introduce myself 
> 
> ***  
> warning: this author is less than a fucking novice at chess but tries to pretend she knows what she’s talking about  
> ***
> 
> adora: is depressed  
> horses: neigh  
> adora: :D!!!!!
> 
> ***  
> um anyways jokes aside, what went down this chapter bc my writing is incomprehensible:
> 
> -catra gets accidentally called to a faraway army base in the fright zone where she has time to sort of realize adora is always tense around her bc she's an asshole, and then she meets adyn who distracts her from her own thoughts (this is kyle's fault)  
> -adora spends a day at bright moon w glimmer, who wants to KO shadow weaver but she's trying to tolerate her without a fight bc bow asked her to be patient and she simps for him, but she's rly frustrated w everyone, esp her dad  
> -adora's day at bright moon does not end well, she even has a brief panic attack, and she ends up in a REALLY bad mood, as one does when in a negative environment  
> -my boi bow is on the fucking case. before he was going to try to prove both the angella and the adora thing, but he realizes he doesnt have time/resources to prove that sw conspired to have the queen killed, so he lets that part go and focuses on adora  
> -adora comes back to red moon in a bad mood already and then catra confronts her and puts her in another tense situation, which doesnt help with her unaliving thoughts  
> -catra is more upset with herself than she is w adora but adora doesnt know that, and honestly catra isnt exactly the best at communication skills  
> -catra realizes she's being really shitty to adora and makes an even shittier attempt to apologize without words, adora accepts it and is surprised when catra asks her to be a part of her and cyra's 'family thing', takes it as catra is sort of starting to like her  
> -adora even gets comfortable enough to ask catra if she can leave the house, gets rly happy when catra says yes bc "horses!!" abt the horses: bow got glimmer out of bright moon via sneaky sneak and the bfs basically had to babysit a smaller, less murder-y version of catra. no, swift wind was not there.  
> -adyn tries to hit on catra, catra doesnt realize, adyn gets offended and leaves, adora sees her leaving and thinks catra is cheating on her, and then she gets all mad bc she thought her and catra were drifting towards a sort of relationship but apparently not  
> -when she's going through her stuff she starts reliving childhood memories and she kind of tells herself "fuck my depression, lets get this bread"  
> -catra overhears her sad monologue and sees that adora struggles with depressing thoughts and she isn't exactly helping her, starts to question if she can be less of an asshole  
> -glimbow decide not to involve catradora bc they want them to be happy with their own lives. glimmer knows adora is a self sacrificial dumbass so doesnt tell her whats goin on and have her attempt to fix it  
> -  
> ***  
>  _1-800-273-8255 a helpline for anyone struggling with thoughts like Adora was having on that boulder - the reason i like angsty stories like these is because you can see how things turn out alright in the end. if u need to get something off ur chest u can rant in the comments._  
>  ***
> 
> spoiler for next chapter: "dont be depresso, have some espresso"


	7. jo mila hai mujhy, main uske qabil to nahi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jo mila hai, mujhy, main uske qabil to nahi....  
>  _what i received, i didn't deserve..._
> 
> ***  
> Bow loses it just a little but bounces back stronger than ever. Catra and Adora have an actual conversation. A wedding date is set.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hol y fuck. and i thought chapter 6 was long. jesus fucking christ. I could not stop writing this fuckery
> 
> okay okay if u looked at the tags and saw that i added fluff no u aren't mistaken - this story isn't just chock full of angst! catra and adora are soft (but they still suck at communicating so be prepared to want to scream!!!)
> 
> anyways, here's some soft and yearning

_Adora_

Bow had visited again. He said his dads’ were writing a book about Eternia, and he was doing some research about the royal family and wanted to talk to Adora about her personal life to include some fun facts in the book. 

“I heard you were interested in leaving Bright Moon and discovering the world on your own. You wanted to be an artist, right? Why did you get married instead?”

Adora tapped her fingers on the armrests. “I guess... it was just in my fate. And, after Mara died, I didn’t really have the time, or the heart to want to do that anymore.”

Bow gazed at her curiously, fingers going to stroke the slight beard he had started to grow out. “So, you don’t want to be an artist anymore?”

“No, of course I do,” Adora moved her hands into her lap, and started fidgeting with a loose strand on her jacket. “I just haven’t had time to get back into it. But uh, I was thinking about picking it up again.”

Bow hummed and leaned back, writing something in his journal.

“I think I get it.”

“Get what?”

“Just that you never actually wanted any of this and Shadow Weaver arranged your marriage - actually, she arranged your whole life for you without your permission.”

Adora stared at Bow incredulously. He was still writing in his journal. 

“No!” Adora protested. “Of course not. Why would she do that? Bow - you can’t go around saying stuff that,” she laughed nervously, “You’ll start giving people the wrong impression of her.” 

_And if she hears about it, she’ll have no problem getting rid of you._

“Oh, don’t worry. I’m just doing a little research for myself. None of this is going on public record.” He closed his book. “Sometimes you have to look behind the scenes of the story to get the full picture of what happened. My dads’ taught me that. Can I ask you one more question?”

“Um,” Adora wondered what he could possibly use this information for, “If it’ll help you with your research, go for it.”

“Are you happy here?”

Adora faltered, letting go of the string she had been fiddling with and sat up straight. “Uh, of course!” She slightly winced at how high her voice had gone. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

Bow gave her a disbelieving look. Adora gulped.

“Did… did Catra say something to you?” Adora tried to casually ask. Things hadn’t been _perfect,_ but they were getting better. Once, she’d offhandedly mentioned how she had finished the book series Catra had left her, and she offered to give her another one while asking if she enjoyed it, and they’d actually started having a _conversation_. A real one, without Catra giving vague, closed off answers to Adora’s questions while she was simultaneously interrogating and ignoring her. 

“No.” Bow replied shortly. _So Catra’s good with this new... whatever it is we have?_ It seemed like it. She was getting comfortable with just Adora. They were, dare she even say it, _friends._

“Then why are you asking? I’m happy. She’s happy. Don’t worry about me.”

Bow sighed and packed his book away. “Like I said, Adora, I’m used to reading between the lines. It just seems to me like you two are hiding something. And you’re my friend, too, remember? I’m allowed to worry about you.”

Adora tried to force some more laughter. “Okay, Bow. But seriously. Nothing’s the matter with me and Catra. So don’t go around telling people, _especially_ Glimmer, that I’m upset.”

Bow didn’t seem convinced, but he agreed and dropped the subject entirely. Adora internally thanked the stars for that. 

***

_Catra_

“You should really get out more,” commented Adyn as they took a cooldown walk. 

After a while of silence from her end, Adyn had invited Catra to come for a jog with her, saying she wasn’t that familiar with the streets yet and would appreciate Catra’s company. 

Which, normally, Catra would make some excuse to avoid having to hang out with anyone, but for one thing she was _trying_ to be less closed off, and for another she didn’t want to further anger General Ayad’s daughter, so she agreed. But it wasn’t like she’d been living in Bright Moon for long, either, so of course, they got a little lost during their run.

“Yeah,” Catra sighed, adjusting her mask. “You’d be surprised how many people tell me that.”

“Would I though?” laughed Adyn, reaching over and tilting Catra’s mask into place. Catra churned a little in place, liking how the mask fit in place but not liking how Adyn had just _done_ that. Adyn sort of noticed Catra squirm a little and laughed, tugging Catra to sit down next to her on the floor.

“You get flustered so easily!” she giggled. Catra cleared her throat, unsure if she was teasing her in a friendly way or making fun of her.

“So, uh,” Catra asked, trying to move the conversation along, “Why do you keep asking me out, anyways?”

Adyn looked away, blushing slightly. Catra realized the implication of her words.

“No, not like that, I meant -”

Adyn stopped her, “No, I know what you meant,” she replied, smiling. _Oh, thank God._ Catra thought. _I cannot have another Scorpia on my hands._

“For the record, I keep asking because… You’re special.” She shrugged when Catra furrowed her eyebrows at her. “I already told you there’s something about you that’s just,” Adyn tucked her hair behind her ear again, gazing at Catra weirdly, “Alluring to me. You’re different. I like things that are different, that are unique, and to be honest, _Catra,_ you’re one of a kind.”

Catra felt herself flush and laugh. “Um, thanks. You’re uh,” _don’t fuck this up, don’t fuck this up, she’s trying to be nice to you, don’t fuck this up!,_ “You’re coming on a little too strong there, you know?” 

Adyn huffed out a breath and blushed in embarrassment.

_Fuck, Catra!_

“Sorry, sorry! I just,” Adyn tore her eyes away from Catra for a minute, choosing her next words carefully while Catra felt like she was burning on the inside, before smiling back at her once more. “I’m just… trying to be your friend here, Catra.”

Catra felt her ears go down. _Seriously, first the whole mix-up that happened with Adora, now this?_ Why did she _suck_ at picking up on other people’s emotions?

 _Okay,_ Catra said to herself, _you need to learn some social skills. Maybe start here._

“I’m sorry. I’m not very used to uh, to friends. I didn’t mean to offend you or anything,” Catra reached out and offered Adyn her hand. “I’ll try to be a better friend from now on.” 

Apparently that was the right move, because Adyn grinned at Catra and shook her hand. 

“Well then, _friend,”_ Adyn pushed herself off the ground and brought Catra up with her. “Let’s make a plan to get out of here, and then next week, _maybe_ we can try this again.”

“The friendship thing? Or the not getting lost thing?”

“We’ll see,” Adyn winked at her, and Catra laughed. 

_Alright,_ Catra started taking notes in her head. _Jokes are good. And, don’t point out things like “you’re coming on too strong” to people, they don’t appreciate it… and, what? Compliment them?_

Adyn noticed Catra falling behind, and stopped to bump her shoulder, before trailing her hand down to grab Catra’s hand and pull her along with.

_And - touching is good, I guess._

Maybe making a new friend wasn’t as horrible as Catra thought it might be. When she left, Catra found herself looking forward to the next time Adyn called her up. 

***

Catra made it back to the manor just before the sun fully set, and walked in on Adora playing chess against… herself?

“Hey, Adora.” Adora glanced up at her, surprised. 

“Catra.” She said instead of a greeting, then went back to her game.

Catra rapped her claws against the doorframe, thinking. This was a good time to see if hanging out with Adyn had taught her anything useful.

“Wow, this is about the _saddest_ thing I’ve seen in a while,” Catra snarked at her. _Jokes are good._ “Are you seriously playing chess against _yourself?”_

Adora’s mouth opened and closed for a second, thinking of a reply. Then she gave Catra a sly smile and answered, “Well, it’s the only way I can get an actual challenge around here.”

Catra cackled at her, glad that they were at a point where Adora felt like she could actually talk to her. “Oh, you mean to tell me the eight year old isn’t smart enough for you?” Catra walked over to Adora, purposefully circling her to softly brush her tail against Adora’s back - _touching is also good -_ before plopping down on the opposite side of Adora. “Let’s see how you do against an _actual_ threat.” Catra moved the pieces back to their original place, then gestured for Adora to make her move.

She didn’t, at first, she just kind of sat there, frozen. Catra felt some of her confidence falling.

_Fuck, okay okay, so - jokes are good, and touching is good, what else - oh, don’t insult. Did I insult her?_

“Adora?” Catra forced a chuckle. “You good? White goes first, you know.”

Adora snapped out of it and moved forward one of her pawns, exhaling softly.

They moved back and forth for a while before Catra spoke again. “So, how was your day?”

Adora stopped, confused. “Uh, it was - it was fine, I guess.” Silence. “I made another pie.” More silence. “How uh, how was yours?”

Catra brightened up at the thought of another one of those pies. 

“Great! I got lost in the Woods.”

“You what?”

“I was on a walk with a friend and I got lost in the Woods.”

“But - where did you get lost?”

“Uh, if I knew _where,_ I wouldn’t be _lost,_ would I?” Catra rolled her eyes, and captured Adora’s castle. “ _Duh,_ Adora.”

Adora knocked over Catra’s Knight and groaned at her, “I _meant_ what part of the Woods did you get _lost_ in? And by the way, they’re really easy to navigate. How do you get lost in a place that kids literally play Hide and Seek in?”

“Again, Adora, if I knew _what part_ of the Woods I was in, I wouldn’t have been lost now would I!”

They argued back and forth, and Catra noticed she was _winning._

“Hey, Adora?” She interrupted her while she was in the middle of a rant about _grid systems_ and _marked paths -_ Catra smirked at her and replaced Adora’s Queen with her own Bishop. “Checkmate.”

Adora’s mouth dropped as she realized Catra really _had_ gotten her in checkmate.

“I - Catra! You cheated!”

Catra’s fur bristled. “I did _not!_ Stop trying to hide the fact that I’m smarter than you!”

“You distracted me! You know what,” Adora grumbled, placing the pieces back on the board, “Best two out of three.”

***

Catra fake yawned as she knocked over Adora’s King with a flick of her finger.

“You suck at this. I’m getting tired of beating you.”

Catra wasn’t, actually. Adora huffed and pouted every time Catra won or made a snarky comment and it was delightful to watch her try and _fail_ . It was even hilarious when _she_ made a good move and would snipe back at Catra. It felt like the girl that Catra had met at the ball was coming out of her shell. 

Adora groaned and hit her forehead against the board. “How are you doing this?” came her muffled voice.

“Adora,” Catra pushed her face up by her forehead so they were eye-to-eye again, “You do realize my literal job is as a strategist for the Rebellion’s military? What did you _think_ was gonna happen?”

At the mention of her job, Adora started to retreat back into herself. 

“Right. You know, it's actually pretty late -” Adora stood up and brushed off her pants. “Cyra doesn’t go to sleep without me, I should get to bed…”

_Oh, right. Your bed. The one you sleep in away from me because… because?_

_Because I don’t want to get close to you in case you leave._

“Goodnight, Adora.”

Adora stopped for a second, “Goodnight, General,” before walking up the stairs to her room.

***

Catra twisted in her blankets for the umpteenth time, and finally threw off all the sheets in a huff. 

_If I can’t sleep I might as well do some work,_ Catra thought. She slid out of her door and crept down the hallway, when she noticed someone else doing the same in the other direction. It was Adora, silently shuffling down the stairs. Catra slowly followed her, then called out, “Hey, Adora.” 

Adora _yelped_ and nearly jumped out of her skin. When she saw it was just Catra, she sighed in - relief? Hopefully it was relief and not exasperation. 

“What… _are_ you doing?” she asked her. Adora was wrapped in a ridiculously fluffy robe and trying to tiptoe around.

“ _Me?_ What are _you_ doing sneaking around? This is _your_ house!” Adora quietly yelled at Catra, mindful of how late at night it was. 

“It’s _yours_ too, you know!”

Adora and Catra went quiet. From her point of view, she could probably only see Catra’s amused eyes. Catra was better at seeing in the dark though, and she could tell Adora had also been having trouble sleeping, if her messed up hair and bleary eyes were anything to go by.

“...I just wanted some water.” Adora said, as Catra finally moved to flick on one of the lights. 

“I wanted some coffee,” Catra said as the corridor down the stairs lit up with a sickening light.

Adora squinted, getting used to the white light, and then kind of at Catra. “You were going to wake up Gaea at 4AM to make you a coffee?”

“For the record _,_ I can make it _myself._ Gaea doesn’t do everything for me.”

“You?” A smile twitched at the corner of Adora’s lips. “You know how to make coffee?”

Catra stepped into Adora’s space, frowning at her. A couple days ago, it would have made Adora cower and go silent. Catra felt almost proud that Adora stepped closer and stared right back, smiling challengingly. 

At the time Catra had resolved to be less of an asshole for her sake, she thought it might be a little arrogant of herself to believe she was capable of ‘fixing’ Adora, but weirdly, it was _working._ Adora used to act so hollow and closed off that Catra just couldn’t figure her out, and now she was almost _glowing_ in front of her. Is this what everyone else saw? 

Is this who Catra saw the first time?

Catra remembered Adora was still smugly smiling at her and hissed, “Uh, _yeah?_ Why are you surprised?”

“Oh, nothing.” Adora giggled. She _giggled._ “I’m just, just imagining you trying to figure out how - how the kitchen works -” she dissolved into laughter, “I -” _snort_ “ - just, Catra -” _giggle_ “- you don’t seriously expect me believe _you_ , the big, scary military General, wanders around her kitchen at four AM in _pajamas -”_ Catra blushed, she remembered she had opted to wear an oversized t-shirt and shorts to bed as pajamas because of how humid the weather had been getting lately, and the only oversized shirt she’d owned was one that _Scorpia_ had lent her a while ago, which meant it was covered in little smiley faces and flowers “- to make herself a nice cup of _tea._ ”

Catra was a little floored at how much Adora was getting a kick out of this. For a second she just breathed and smiled at how _overjoyed_ Adora looked, trying to catch her breath so she could speak. Eventually she began to come down from her high, a slight pink flush over her cheeks and Catra fake-scowled at her. “I never said _tea,_ I said _coffee!”_ Catra protested, and Adora dissolved into another fit of giggles. “You don’t believe me? Fine.”

Catra took Adora’s hand and dragged her to the kitchen. Adora’s breath hitched in her throat when Catra touched her - _that’s a good thing, right? Adyn does that too, sometimes, and she never really complains, so it's fine, right? -_ and guided Adora to sit down in a chair while Catra pulled out a pot to fill with water. 

Catra tapped her foot in sync to Adora tapping her fingers, waiting for it to fill up with enough for two.

“Um, Catra?” Adora asked nervously, watching Catra turn on the burner and rustle around in the cutlery drawer, “What are you doing?” 

Catra took out two spoons and set them down next to the burner, then transferred the pot from the sink onto the fire. 

“Making coffee, what do you _think_ I’m doing?”

Adora relaxed, staring at the spoons. Then she slowly smiled again. “I thought you were making tea.”

“Shut up.”

Adora laughed and got off the chair, opening the cabinet and pulling out the pie she’d mentioned earlier. Catra’s mouth watered as Adora set it down and pulled off the wrapper, she could _smell_ the apples and the cinnamon. 

“Do you want a piece of this?” Adora asked, pointing at the pie. 

Catra chortled at Adora’s choice of words and nodded. Her and Adora skirted around each other as she went to get the coffee powder and Adora went to collect some plates and utensils.

Catra scooped in some powder and started stirring the boiling pot, while Adora set down two small plates - 

Catra’s ears flicked and she heard someone coming down the hall. By the heavy yet swift footsteps, she could tell it was Gygaea.

“ _Shit!”_ Catra took the pot and placed it carefully on the floor, then turned off the burner, grabbed Adora and shoved her behind the cabinet before racing to turn off the light and coming back to Adora. 

“What are you -” Adora tried to ask, so Catra covered her mouth and pushed her further behind the cabinet to make room for herself. Catra heard Gygaea stop outside the kitchen and waited with bated breaths.

“She gets mad at me when I have coffee this late,” Catra explained, pressing Adora against the wall. Adora nodded behind her hand.

“ _Why does she always forget to turn off the light?_ ” Gaea spoke, then Catra watched the light in the hall go out. First she sagged against Adora with relief, then straightened back up to listen for Gaea’s retreating footsteps.

Once she couldn't hear her, she crept to the kitchen door to push it open and make sure she was gone. Catra turned to Adora, who was still pressed against the wall. Catra flicked on the light and saw Adora was flushed and had her hands pressed against the wall, slightly trembling while she spaced out.

_Shit!_

“Um, I didn’t mean to take you by surprise or anything.” Adora shook her head and left the wall, returning to the pie. 

“You uh, it’s fine…” Adora was still slightly spaced out and picked up a knife to cut a piece of the pie. “I’m - I didn’t mind.” She cleared her throat and looked up to smile at Catra.

 _Oh thank God._ Catra was worried whatever progress she had made with Adora in the past few days had just been undone because of a stupid move. 

_“Eek!”_

Speaking of stupid moves, Catra looked and - yep, Adora had accidentally cut herself.

“Woah, you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m - I just need a tissue -” Adora slid the knife far away from her herself. “I…” Adora was taking deep breaths, entranced by the cut on her hand - she was breathing more heavily now, and the blood from the small cut on her finger was now running down Adora’s hand.

“I… I’m bleeding!” Adora announced to Catra. Catra stepped close to examine Adora’s hand. It wasn’t too bad, it probably hurt worse than it actually was. “Yes, you are,” she agreed, handing Adora a tea towel to clean it with. Catra felt amused at Adora’s overreaction. She was still staring wide eyed at the blood instead of wiping it with the towel. Hadn’t she ever gotten a cut before? 

“Catra,” Adora said softly while Catra took out two mugs to pour the coffee in.

“Yeah, Adora?” 

“ _Catra!”_ Adora said again, this time more stressed. Catra frowned at her while she finished pouring the cup of coffee. She was trembling again, this time her whole body, and her eyes were glassy with tears. Catra got closer to Adora, picking up the towel to clean the blood for her, and she noticed Adora’s breaths were becoming heavier and quicker.

“Hey, Adora?” Catra rasped, careful not to startle her, “You doing alright there?” 

“I’m bleeding.” Adora stated, her eyes fully glossing over as she stepped away from Catra. “I’m bleeding…” Adora stumbled backwards and carefully sat down. Catra kneeled in front of her and took her hands. She pushed back the sleeves of Adora’s robe to avoid getting blood on them, and saw that the skin around her wrist was bruised.

They weren’t like the marks Catra had seen last time. No, these ones were _newer_.

But when could she have gotten them? Cyra couldn’t have done it, even on accident - Gygaea would’ve told her if Adora had gotten hurt - Adora couldn’t have done it to herself, with the direction they were marked in - so it could have been done while she was out of Red Moon Manor, so while she had gone horseback riding, or while she was at -

At Bright Moon.

 _Oh, Adora,_ Catra shook her shoulder a little bit to snap her out of whatever flashback she was having. _I’m sorry for what she did to you._

  
  


***

_Adora_

It was going pretty well until Catra covered her mouth and shoved her up against the wall. 

“She gets mad at me when I have coffee this late,” she explained. Adora nodded but she didn’t really care. She was kind of zoned out trying to think about anything other than Catra’s skin against her lips and Catra’s waist against her hips - 

And then Catra let go and Adora chided herself for not savouring the moment a little longer, not paying a little more attention to what in the _fuck_ just happened to her.

She was still ruminating over what had just happened when she handled the knife a little bit harder than she intended and ended up slicing straight through the thin aluminum and right over her finger.

_Pain. Red hot pain._

_Cold, sharp edges are pressed against her._

_“Don’t hurt her! ...Take me, instead.”_

_“No!”_

_Cold edges turned into hot spikes of pain and one particular slice against her back and she cried out, running forward._

_“Adora, stay there!”_

_“No!”_

_And it's_ cold _again, it's freezing, and there's a large booming in the sky…_

“I’m bleeding.”

_Blood runs down Adora’s arms. And is it hers? Or is it Mara’s?_

_Mara. Mara. Mara._

_Cold and razor sharp edge presses back into her flesh and someone screams -_

“Yes, you are.”

_Not Mara. Not alone._

“Catra…” 

“Yeah, Adora?” 

_Catra?_

“You doing alright there?”

_No! I’m bleeding again!_

“I’m bleeding...” _Bleeding out. Red stains on her shirt. Red stains on Adora’s shirt, too._ “I’m bleeding…!”

Adora’s vision went spotty with darkness, and then all she could see was red, all she could think was about the stinging feeling of her flesh being sliced open and all she could hear was _water_ and _screaming_ and all she could feel was - 

Catra shook her shoulder a little. 

“Adora?”

Adora came back to her senses. “I’m fine,” she lied, her throat a little dry and her stomach queasy. “I don’t like blood.” she whispered, refusing to look down at her own hand. 

“I understand,” Catra stood up, leaping on top of the counter to reach the top shelf for something… a first aid kid. She leaped back down in front of Adora, her shirt flying up a little - _okay, nice distraction and all, but, bad Adora! -_ and then started to bandage her hand. “You’d be surprised how many squeamish things I’ve seen.” 

“Considering…” Adora tried to catch her breath so she could speak again, “That your… actual job is just to strategize…?” she joked, “I think I would be.”

Catra playfully swatted her arm - or maybe it was a warning? 

No, things weren’t like that between the two. Things were… tense, sure, but, they weren’t like that, at least. Catra helped Adora stand up after bandaging her hand, then they both sat down and finished the coffee and their pie in silence. 

_She hasn’t been this fun to hang around with since the ball._

Adora moved around her last bite, waiting for Catra to finish so she wasn’t just rudely staring at her while she ate. 

_Should I ask her..._

“Hey, did you finish that book I left for you yet?”

“No, not yet… I swear I’ll give it back soon. Do you need it? I can go get it for you -” Adora slid out of the chair to leave, then Catra stopped her.

“No, it’s fine. Take your time with it.”

“...Alright.” She sat back down, her mind going a mile a minute.

_Should I ask if… No, you’ll just make things weird again._

_Still. Why is she being this nice all of a sudden?_

_Maybe she had a change of heart._

Catra finished her last bite, so Adora took hers, too, and Catra collected their dishes and put them in the sink before fishing out a piece of chocolate from a hidden cabinet.

“Don’t tell Gaea,” Catra handed her a piece, “I’m technically not allowed any. I used to have to sneak through the vents in the Fright Zone to get my hands on it.”

Adora laughed at the mental image of a young Catra creeping through the vents to steal some chocolate.

_Can people change?_

Adora flopped down on her bed and glanced over to the painting she had been making for the first time in years, feeling worn out from laughter. 

_Well, you sure did, didn’t you?_

  
  


***

_Bow_

_Alright, Bow, showtime._ “Kitch?”

“What do you want?” asked Kitch, sitting at the bar on his fourth or fifth glass, bored. 

Bow took a deep breath. “I know you framed Adora.”

Kitch turned to Bow, looked him up and down, and laughed before going back to his drink.

“Yeah, so does my brother. And what of it?”

“Um,” Bow said, a little baffled. “I have evidence?”

 _That_ got him a reaction. Kitch turned to him, staring at Bow under his short dark hair that had fallen over his forehead. “Are you -” Kitch twisted in his seat, “Are you trying to blackmail me or something?”

Bow plopped his bag down on the bar, wincing a little when he heard some glasses clattering. “I - well, yeah.” Bow reached inside and pulled out the edited transcription where Bow had blacked out the parts of Angella’s death, now it only said the part where Kitch had described what had happened to Adora. “I know everything Shadow Weaver was doing to Adora _before -_ before she had you take her there against her will, and drug her. And then when you guys got _caught_ , you convinced everyone there to say Adora was the person in charge of the whole thing - when she didn’t even know what was going on!”

Bow knew he looked ridiculous. His hair had grown a little wild and curls were everywhere, he hadn’t looked in a mirror for a while but had a feeling his stubble had grown out, he was pretty sure someone had spilled something on him while he was trying to get to Kitch, and his voice was growing agitated and squeaky. Glimmer always found it cute, but Bow was trying to be _intimidating._

Kitch read over the transcript and laughed, finishing his last drink before hopping down the stool.

“Look, uh, what’s your name?”

“Bow, Lord Bow. I’m an archer for the Rebellion,” Bow explained. He didn’t like how unfazed Kitch was. Was what Bow knew not enough?

“Oh, _that_ Bow. Yeah, I’ve heard of you.” Kitch sighed, leaning against the counter. “Look, Bow, great detective work and all, but here’s the thing,” he leaned close and whispered in Bow’s ear. “If you try to expose me, you’ll only bring Adora down, too,” then he leaned back and patted Bow’s shoulder, “No one even knows she was there that night, and the few officers that _do_ think she was with us. This evidence?” 

Kitch picked Bow’s bag up and shoved it into his arms. “This stuff isn’t enough to take me _or_ Shadow Weaver down,” Kitch smirked at him - _I understand why Adora punched him_ \- “But you know what it can do? Expose Adora’s little _secret_ to everyone around her. What do you think will happen then?”

Bow thought about it. Glimmer would be _absolutely_ heartbroken to find out about everything Adora had gone through… and Catra - she had a very hard time trusting people in the first place, if she found out Adora could possibly be betraying her then… their relationship was still new, still fresh, and Bow could tell there was already something a little off with them when he asked Adora if she was happy. This little investigation of his wouldn’t possibly make things better between them.

“I’ll tell you right now, Bow -” Kitch began leading him towards the exit, and began whispering again, “- without any hardcore evidence that Adora was _framed,_ you’ve got _nothing_ against us, so if you want me to do something for you -” he pushed Bow out the door, “You’ll have to do what any of these other guys do, and _give_ me something in return.” 

Bow glared at him. “I’m not going to _pay you_ anything. I know where that money goes.”

Kitch chuckled, fixing the collar of his jacket. “We’ll see about that. I slipped my number in your bag. Call me when you’re ready to talk.” The door closed and Bow huffed in frustration before heading back to his car.

***

_Maybe it’s time to involve Catra._

Bow turned onto the main road and started towards Red Moon Manor.

_I could always just pay Kitch… Dads’ certainly wouldn’t mind…_

_No. Anything I give Kitch, I give to the Horde. And Lance needs all the resources right now, especially after that heart scare…_

Bow started thinking about home. Whenever he felt confused or frustrated like he did now, Lance would have him sit down in the library and offer him a plate of cookies while George found him a book to read. Bow didn’t realize it at first, but that was probably their way of calming him down so he could refresh himself. 

That’s what Bow needed, a good book and a plate of cookies. 

He pulled into Red Moon Manor, stepped through the gate and walked through the front courtyard into the manor, and collapsed on the first couch he found, closing his eyes.

“Uh, what’s up Bow?” 

“I need a book.” He answered her. “And some food. Preferably cookies.”

Someone else giggled. “Okay,” Catra said hesitantly, “Are you upset about something? Books and cookies are your go-to when you’re feeling weird…”

Bow sat up slightly. "It - just... _Glimmer_."

“What?" someone else spoke. Bow looked up and saw that _someone else_ was Adora. 

“Nothing.” Bow quickly replied. “Nothing’s the matter with me and Glimmer.” Adora fixed her eyes on him. 

"If this has to do with Glimmer than you better tell me _right now_ ,” she demanded. 

“No, everything is fine, I swear -” 

“ _Bow!_ Is Glimmer okay or not?” Adora clenched her fists and advanced towards him. Bow threw his hands up in surrender, while Catra’s eyebrows shot up in surprise at how defensive Adora was getting.

“ _Okay,_ mama bear, geez. She’s fine, I’ve just been…” Bow faltered, not wanting to expose his little investigation into Adora’s past, “...trying to convince Shadow Weaver that I’m a worthy suitor. It’s exhausting.”

Adora stomped her foot and growled slightly, turning towards Catra. “Take me to Bright Moon.” she demanded once again.

“Uh,” Catra was still staring at Adora in shock, “Sure?”

Adora marched out the manor. Once she was out of sight, Catra looked at Bow, her mouth still slightly open.

“In all my time with her, I don’t think I’ve ever seen that side of her,” she commented.

“What? That protective side?”

“No, the -” Catra stopped herself, blushing. “The um, yeah. Protective.”

Bow covered his face and laughed, faking a cough. “Yeah, um,” he ran his hand over his cheeks, feeling his new unintentional beard, “She’s apparently always been pretty defensive of Glimmer, since they were kids and all. Cause -”

Catra’s ears perked up. “Because?”

Bow was pretty sure most of what he knew about Adora’s past was stuff he had tricked nice old ladies into telling him, so decided not to answer. “Actually, before you go, do you still have that collection of history books?”

Catra watched him weirdly as she took out a key and placed it on the table. “Yeah. Help yourself.”

_“Catra! Come on!”_

Catra laughed and turned back towards where Adora was calling her from. “ _Coming!_ ”

Bow was pretty sure she ran out much faster than was expected of her.

***

_Adora_

“I _swear,_ when I get my hands on her…” she growled to herself.

“Adora.” Catra didn’t take her eyes off the road but prompted Adora to look at her. “You need to calm down.”

“Don’t tell me to _calm down!_ ”

“Adora!” 

Adora startled, realizing she had just yelled at her. Catra turned to give her a _look_ . “What exactly is your plan here? Walk into Bright Moon and start _yelling_ at your guardian?”

“She’s _not_ my anything.” Adora took a deep breath, and turned to look back at the road. It was silent while Catra turned off of the main road and headed towards Bright Moon. 

“Okay, I don’t have a plan,” Adora admitted quietly, fiddling with her collar, “Do _you_ have any ideas?”

Catra slowed to a stop outside the main gate. “No.” She reached over and unlocked Adora’s door for her. “Good luck.”

Adora popped open the door, took a step out and looked back at Catra, who hadn’t made any move to leave. “You’re not…?” 

Catra raised an eyebrow at her, and shrugged. “You told me to bring you, I did. Go ahead.”

 _Fine then,_ Adora hopped out and heard Catra’s car speed away.

***

 _So what_ is _the plan, Adora?_

_Shut up._

_No, really. What exactly are you gonna say?_

_Too late to figure it out now,_ Adora said to herself as she saw Shadow Weaver descend the corridor. 

“A _do_ ra,” she cooed, “What a… lovely surprise. Is General Catra here?”

“No.” Adora gritted her teeth. “I came alone.”

“Is that so?” she drifted past Adora, fixing her collar as she went by. Adora glared at her back before catching up with her. When she finally fell in place beside her, Adora regretted not forming a plan beforehand because she wasn’t sure what exactly she wanted to say.

Shadow Weaver sighed. “Adora, how many times do I need to remind you to speak up when you have a question?”

 _Damn it._ “I don’t have a question.”

“Dear, I can practically hear your mind racing. What is it you want?”

Adora took a deep breath and came to a stop. Shadow Weaver stopped in front of her and waited, her hands folded.

“Why,” she started, feeling frustration just building up, “Why are you so… _Why won’t you let Glimmer go_ ? She wants Bow, and Bow wants her, so - why do you _keep her here -_ why do you want her to be _miserable?_ ”

“I haven’t the faintest idea what you mean.”

“Don’t play games with me!” Adora shouted, and then Shadow Weaver peered down at her through her mask, and she remembered _‘you do not raise your voice against your betters’._

Adora closed her mouth and looked down, resisting the urge to apologize. 

“Adora. Look at me.”

She slowly raised her head, and winced when Shadow Weaver brought her hand near her face, but it was only to brush her cheek.

“You didn’t come here for that archer and his infatuation with Princess Glimmer, did you?”

It wasn’t a question, it was a statement, and Adora didn’t try to deny it. 

“You came here because you were angry at me and thought this was a good excuse.”

Adora crossed her arms over her chest and glared back down at the floor, which made Shadow Weaver take her chin and point her face up.

“Everything I’ve done, everything I’ve taught you, it was for your _own good,_ dear,” Shadow Weaver continued, her voice softer than the grip on her chin. “I wasn’t making you _miserable_ , I was preparing you for real life. Tell me, Adora, has Catra ever had to mistreat you for any reason? Discipline you for something you were doing wrong?”

 _Catra_ never _did anything you did._

“No? Then wouldn’t you say you learned _something_ useful from me?” She let go of Adora’s chin and smoothed out her jacket, fixing Adora’s collar yet again. “Adora, you need to let go of these childish feelings of anger. Move on. I’ll admit, perhaps I treated you too harshly, but everything I did, I did with the intention of making you _perfect._ Now, hurry along home and don’t keep Catra waiting.”

She finally let go of Adora’s shoulders and gave her a slight nudge in the direction of the exit. Adora’s legs carried her out and back to the main gate, all the way out to where Catra’s car was parked.

“So,” she said once Adora stepped inside, “What did she say?”

“I, um,” Adora swallowed the lump in her throat, “You were right. I should’ve had a plan.”

Catra waited for Adora to continue, and when she didn’t, she started the car and pulled off.

***

_Catra_

It was obvious something had happened. Adora had gone into Bright Moon as a strong force, and came back out as this small girl. 

This is what Catra was afraid of. Adora would furiously confront Shadow Weaver and then pay the price, and if what Catra had assumed about their relationship was true, the price had been something like the reason Adora had those marks on her arm.

 _I should’ve gone in with her,_ she thought. She watched through the corner of her eye and saw that Adora was as still as a statue, just looking out the window and watching the trees pass by. _At least that way I’d know for sure. I could understand what exactly happened, and_ why _she’s upset._

“Did you finish _Frigid Waters_?” Catra tried. Adora hummed and nodded but didn’t say anything beyond that. 

_Okay, so another thing to add to that list of ‘how to be a better person’: get over your whole ‘I don’t want to be around people right now’ thing and fucking go with Adora next time. Dealing with small talk is a small price to pay to make sure she’s_ safe. 

Catra wanted to express her regret for not being there somehow. An idea occurred to her and she took a turn. Adora noticed and glanced at Catra, but didn't say anything. Slowly though, she started getting unsettled. 

“Catra?” she spoke quietly, “Where are we going?”

“You’ll see.” 

That didn’t calm Adora down, but that was fine. She’d understand once they got there.

***

Catra stopped her car once they entered town, then got out and waited for Adora to join her on the sidewalk.

“You see that?” Catra pointed to the small bookstore tucked between a gift shop and a pharmacy. “ _That’s_ where we’re going.” Catra began walking across the somewhat busy street, and Adora followed her, staring at the bookstore with her mouth slightly agape.

“Okay, but, why?” Adora asked her as they entered. The smell of old books wafted through. 

“You finished _Frigid Waters_ , and I don’t have the next book.” Catra explained, taking out her pouch and pulling out a few coins from it before handing the rest over to Adora. “Get the next one, and whatever else you want. I’m going to run next door and get something for Cyra.”

Adora stared at the pouch of coins Catra had just given her, then realized Catra was waiting for an answer and nodded, turning on her heel and roaming through the first row of books she entered. She plucked up a small black book and frowned while reading the first few pages before putting it back.

Adora ran her fingers over the next few books before finding another interesting one, and took it out with a smile, scratching at what must have been a mark on the cover. Suddenly she looked up and noticed Catra was still there, watching her.

Catra blushed at having been caught and fled out the bookstore.

***

_Adora_

Adora froze when she found Catra still staring at her as she admired the book.

Catra fled out so fast Adora wasn’t sure she had just imagined it. 

_What, was she making sure I was choosing the right books?_

Adora looked over the one she was holding right now. It was by the same author, and the plot was a little similar to a book Catra had leant her earlier. Adora couldn’t think of a reason she wouldn’t like it, so she didn’t put it back.

After a while, Adora had found _Fiery Skies,_ the sequel Catra had asked her to get, two books she was confident Catra would enjoy, and one new _She-Ra: The Princess of Power_ book for herself. 

Adora was waiting outside of the bookstore for Catra to come out of the gift shop with whatever she had gotten for Cyra. She’d hid the pouch that Catra had trusted her with in the dark bag the shopkeeper had given her for the books, and then pulled out _She-Ra_ to read while Catra finished up.

All of a sudden someone roughly pushed her from behind and Adora dropped the book so she could catch herself from slamming onto the pavement. 

She knelt down to quickly save the book, but was too late; the pages were crumpled and part of it had ripped, while dirt had been smeared over the words of the page she was reading.

 _Great. Just great._ Adora felt herself tearing up a little, and let out a shaky breath. _It’s just a book. It’s a stupid thing to be sad over. Stop overreacting. Shadow Weaver was right, I need to let go of childish things._ Adora turned to the guy that had pushed her. He stopped for a second to glance at Adora, still knelt on the cold pavement holding the messed up book, and then laughed and kept on going.

“ _HEY!”_

Catra appeared in front of him, holding a bag in one hand and pushing the guy back with her other one. To Adora’s surprise, he straightened up and saluted. 

“General Catra.” he stood straight and looked forward, staying in the place Catra had pushed him into. 

“Apologize!” Catra ordered him, pointing to Adora. The guy faltered and glanced back at Adora, who was still kneeling on the floor, holding her book open. He looked back at Catra, and then paled and stammered out an apology.

“Not to _me,_ idiot,” Catra grabbed his arm and brought him to Adora, then helped Adora stand up. “Apologize to Princess Adora for shoving her! I expect my officers to have better manners than this, _Sergeant_ Grim.”

Grim looked down in embarrassment and then quietly murmured an apology.

“I apologize, Princess Adora.”

“It’s -” Adora realized how dry her throat had gotten. “It’s cool.”

Catra didn’t stop glaring at him. “Dismissed.”

Grim saluted once more then scampered down the street. 

Catra looked back at Adora, and noticed her standing frozen. 

“Oh,” she said softly, noticing the ruined book and plucking it out of Adora’s grasp to brush some of the loose dirt off the page. “I’m sorry about that. Do you want to go get a new one? I know the shopkeeper pretty well, they should be willing to replace it.” 

“N-no, it’s fine.”

“You sure?” Catra asked, taking the bag of books from Adora as Adora nodded, “And you’re okay? You didn’t fall?”, and then Catra was tilting her head at her, examining Adora for any scrapes. Adora nodded again and Catra smiled - _oh, I didn’t notice she has fangs -_ and then took Adora by her arm and guided her to the car. 

_Fucking - what?_

She threw their bags in the back of the car and then opened her door, tapping the surface of the door while Adora looked at her, her arms crossed and grinning at Catra.

“What?” she asked, “What’s that look for?”

“Oh, nothing.” _I just can’t believe you like me._ “Just thinking about the look on that guy’s face.”

Catra bit the inside of her cheek, tapping her claws on the car door, then chuckled. “Yeah…” She climbed inside, and so did Adora. “His face was like,” Catra widened her eyes and opened her mouth in an O shape, _“Oh no! I’ve been caught! Noooooo!”,_ then she started giggling halfway through. Adora chuckled at her wife’s antics too, and then stopped to just watch Catra laugh - 

_Huh, she has way more freckles than I thought… there are some on her neck too._

_Is that a scar or a birthmark?_

_I wonder if her fur is as soft as Cyra’s… it looks longer than Cyra’s, though…_

Eventually, Catra stopped, and Adora snapped her head around to look out the window, pretending she had been doing so the entire time. 

A minute passed by, and Adora could feel Catra looking at her, before clearing her throat and starting the car. 

***

_Bow_

Bow could practically feel the guilt radiating off of him in waves. 

_I’ll apologize later. So much. I’ll have an “i’m sorry!” party where people can go ahead and play pinata but instead of a pinata it’ll be me and instead of a blindfold they’ll just go ahead and chase me with a bat. I’ll even make hats!_

The feeling settled in his gut and made him want to find a dark corner and stay in it forever.

 _It’s where I belong,_ he thought miserably, as he ripped Kitch and Adora’s pages from the file and carefully placed them in his own journal. 

He hadn’t _meant_ to accidentally trick Catra so he could steal the files, really! It was an accident! He was looking for the history book, just like he said, and he’d noticed a file tucked in between them, and Bow had always been a curious cat - _pfft, Cat -_ so he opened it. And because Bow had grown up in a literal library, with two scholars who were always revising and changing things in their books, he knew _exactly_ how to spot a paper that had been edited. 

Adora’s file said she hadn’t had a statement, but when Bow held it a bit closer to a light, he could see that some areas shone denser. The only other page that did that was Kitch’s. 

So Bow, ever the detective, stole a pen from Catra’s desk, and carefully scratched out the parts he could tell had been whited-out. Adora’s had been edited to hide something - she _did_ have a statement, and Kitch’s had also been edited to say something else. 

Kitch’s original statement heavily implied that Adora was _dead._

Adora’s statement said what Bow already knew, Kitch took her there, someone gave her a gray bar, she ate it and everything else was a blur. Bow practically ran out of the manor, almost crying when Gaea greeted him with “Lord Bow!” again. He felt more like scum than he did like a Lord at the moment. Who _stole_ from their best friend?

_Okay, but, I’m technically doing the right thing, keeping all this a secret from Catra to protect her relationship - wait. But why did Catra have these hidden in the first place?_

Catra knew that Adora had been accused of treason and still married her? 

Bow knew that Catra had her trust issues. And he also knew there was some tension between her and Adora. Catra also couldn’t tolerate anyone from the Horde. Is that what was going on? 

Catra passed him as he was leaving, having just arrived back from Bright Moon with Adora. Adora was genuinely smiling this time, unlike the other day when she had lied about being happy. Catra was _also_ in a good mood, which really was unlike her.

Bow watched them interact for a couple seconds before making his presence known. Adora and Catra were doing this sickeningly sweet thing with their eyes and Bow inwardly squealed, then cleared his throat. “Catra, I wanted to talk to you for a sec.”

Catra flipped towards him, surprised that he was there. Adora blushed and stammered, “Bow! Hi! I thought you _left,_ no, wait, I don’t mean that I’m not happy that you’re here, I mean, I thought you’d be gone! I mean - I think Cyra is calling me, bye!” Adora ran back inside and slightly stumbled over the steps. 

Catra watched as Adora caught herself from falling and gave them a thumbs up and told them “I’m fine!”, and whispered _dork_ under her breath.

Bow cleared his throat again, and this time when Catra looked at him he could still see such joy in her expression.

Bow smiled at her. “You’re happy?”

Catra gazed curiously at him. “Of course I am! Why wouldn’t I be?”

 _I can think of a reason,_ Bow moved his bag further behind him, hiding it from Catra. “No reason. You’ve just been stressed about the Horde case, right? How’s that going, by the way?”

Catra stiffened, her mood reverting back to regular standoffish Catra. “I, it’s fine. I haven’t thought about it for ages.” Catra stared at the ground between them, thinking. 

Bow was good at reading people, and Bow had known Catra for a good few years. He could tell when she was hiding something. 

“And Adora?”

Catra’s eyes shot back up to look at him. “What about her?” She asked nervously, tail swishing around her back. A beat of silence surrounded them as Bow didn’t answer. “Hey, did you get that book?” She tried to change the subject.

 _Interesting._

Bow dodged the question about the book, instead asking, “She’s happy, too, right? You two are good together?” 

Catra relaxed, but her ears folded down and she didn’t meet his eyes properly. “I guess, yeah…” She rocked on the balls of her feet, biting her lip. “Why?” She finally looked up again, asking Bow anxiously, “Did she say something?”

Bow smiled at her again and cupped her shoulder. “Nope. Just making sure what I just saw was real.” Catra tilted her head at him, confused. “And you know how I am, always concerned, by the way, have you eaten anything yet?” Catra swatted his hand away and groaned. 

“ _Yes,_ Dad. Did you get your book or not?”

“Yes. And if you’ll excuse me, I’d actually like to go read it.” Bow walked towards the gate, sparing Catra one last glance to tell her, “And remember to mow the lawn, son!”

So, Adora and Catra were clearly okay. Catra got nervous when Bow let her think he was relating Adora to the Horde case - and tried to steer the conversation away from both of those things. She was trying to protect her. 

Bow could see how familiar they were growing with each other over time. If Catra really thought Adora was a traitor, she definitely would’ve left her by now. She wouldn’t let Cyra near her, and she definitely wouldn’t be smiling at her like _that_ . The only reason Bow could think of was that Catra _knew_ Adora was framed and wanted to protect her, so she hid the files.

Bow looked back at the manor behind him, smiling while thinking of all the teasing he could do someday when things were a little cooled down, before stepping into his car and sending a message to Kitch.

_I’m ready to talk again._

***

Kitch smirked at Bow over his drink.

“I must say, Bow, I wasn’t surprised to hear from you, but I _was_ a little disappointed…” Kitch picked up his glass and swirled the liquid around, “I thought I had you clocked as one of those ‘morally righteous’ guys…” he took a long sip before placing the glass down with a _clink._ “Ah, well. So, how much can you offer me?”

Bow smirked back at him over the table, absentmindedly scratching at his trimmed beard. “I’m sorry to say, you were right. I’m _not_ as morally righteous as I thought.” Bow pulled his bag from the ground and placed it on his lap. “But fortunately, you’re also wrong. I’m not here to offer you anything, I’m here to see if you can offer _me_ what I want.” 

Kitch leaned across the table, resting his elbows on top of the surface. “What?”

Bow knocked his elbows back to make room for the contents of his bag. Kitch laughed.

“I already told you, it’s all good detective work, but it’s _not enough_ . Do you _want_ to risk your precious Princess Adora for your _other_ precious Princess?” Kitch tapped his chin thoughtfully, humming. “If it were up to me, I’d go with the blonde, to be honest.” He smirked again.

Bow chuckled, leaning across and beckoning Kitch forward, before grabbing his collar and forcing him to make proper eye contact with him. “Listen,” Bow said, still smiling “If you make one more stupid comment like that around me again, I’m going to string you up as target practice, alright?” He let go and watched Kitch fall back into his seat.

To his annoyance, Kitch just laughed and nodded. “Whatever,” he got up to leave, “Deal’s off the table. Good luck.” 

Bow clicked on his recorder, which was already set on the part Bow wanted him to hear.

_“-bitching about her for years, seriously, it was no surprise she wanted the Queen dead.”_

Kitch froze, turning back to Bow.

_“So, annnyyyways, I got blondie there, no problem, and Shadow Weaver sent Angella to that Horde camp -”_

Kitch scrambled to take the recorder from Bow, but Bow clicked it off and put it back in his bag. “Interested in what I have to say now?”

Kitch scowled menacingly at him, but calmly sat down. He glanced around to make sure no one had noticed or heard anything, before quietly saying to Bow, “That’s still not enough to prove anything. I was drunk.”

“Maybe.” Bow pulled out Kitch’s paper. “But then again, there’s also this.”

Bow pointed out the part he had highlighted, and watched with some satisfaction as Kitch’s life fell apart before him.

_When the Horde soldiers attacked, Adora threw herself in front of some of the people there to protect them. The poor girl got herself killed in that raid. She didn’t even know it was that kind of party! It was my fault, to be honest <subject became emotional> I never should’ve taken the Princess out of bounds! _

“So, Kitch, were you also drunk that night? Because here,” Bow pointed to another part of his paper, “It says you were practically the only one there that night that was sober. I don’t know about you,” Bow sighed, tucking the paper back into his journal and watching Kitch go through all six stages of grief, “But I’m pretty sure that between this statement implying that you were convinced Adora had died that night, the same night as the _Queen,_ and the recording where you admit to me in horrible grammar but _great_ detail that that was what you had _planned -”_

Kitch managed to reach _acceptance_ and interrupted Bow. 

“Fine, fine, I get it!”

“Do you, though? Because I know I definitely do.” Bow silently clicked his recorder on again, hiding it in his bag so Kitch couldn’t see it. “So here’s what I’ve figured out: Shadow Weaver tried raising Adora to be this perfect little soldier of hers. When she didn’t turn out that way, and Shadow Weaver thought she was more _trouble_ than she was worth, she decided to get rid of her. Correct?”

Kitch glared at him. 

“I’m taking your silence as a yes, then? Kitch?” he prodded, needing to hear Kitch’s voice.

“ _Yes,_ you son of a _bitch_ ,” he snapped.

“Actually, I have two dads’.” Bow smiled. “Moving on, Shadow Weaver had you take Adora down to a party that she _knew_ was dangerous, because she _wanted_ her to die that night. And, taking down ‘ _two birds with one stone_ ’, she also convinced Angella that Adora was in danger, and sent her to a Horde encampment where there was absolutely no doubt that she wouldn’t return from? Well, return from alive, that is?”

Kitch crossed his arms and swallowed tightly. “Yes.”

"Uh huh, and Angella listened to Shadow Weaver and went alone because you- ”

Kitch tightened his arms and clenched his jaw. “Because I tricked some Horde spies into going with her instead of actual Rebellion soldiers,” he spat through gritted teeth, “Now, if you’re done making me confess all my sins, will you tell me what you want to keep your mouth shut?”

“In a minute, in a minute…” Bow answered, feeling thrilled at how big of a confession Kitch was giving him. “Why rush to the good part? So, Angella, listening to Shadow Weaver’s advice, went to rescue Adora from the Horde, unaware that Adora was more or less fine at a party, even more unaware that the soldiers accompanying her were actually traitors, and she was killed that night. Meanwhile, you, _on behalf of Shadow Weaver,_ put Adora in a position you were one hundred percent sure would get her killed, as well?” Kitch grimaced, and nodded. 

“And when Adora _survived,_ you two did what? Framed her? And then sold her off to someone so she could never tell the truth about what happened to her?”

Kitch chuckled and slightly smiled at Bow. “You’ve got to admit, it was pretty smart, right?”

Bow clicked the recorder off, glad that Kitch hadn’t noticed how much of what Bow had just said was completely hypothetical, and he had basically just confirmed it.

_I’m going to get so good at the game Bluff after this shit._

“Yeah, Kitch, sure. I admire how cunning this plan was. How fucking _beautifully_ you two trapped Adora, an orphan who she should’ve taken care of,” Bow’s smile slowly began melting off his face into a disgusted expression. “A young girl who’s already been through so much hell, making her take on more than any one person should have to bear. Didn’t you feel the _slightest_ bit of remorse of what you put that poor girl through?”

Kitch didn’t answer. 

“Don’t you have a brother? A sister, even? How would you feel if someone did that to your family?”

Kitch glanced around, becoming very interested in the floor tiles.

“You’re lucky I don’t just hand this over to General Catra and let her deal with you two. You know what she does to people that hurt her or her loved ones? She _tears. Them. Apa- ”_

“No!” Kitch paled. Bow inwardly thanked Catra for always having such a threatening composure. He understood it now, it was so people would take her as much more of a serious threat. Of course Kitch only got scared once he brought her up. “No, just, tell me what you want, I - you want Glimmer right? I can get her out of the castle for you -”

“Shut up, and listen.” Bow pushed Kitch’s drink towards him. “Finish that up. Here’s what I want.”

***

_Adora_

She had been staring at the blank sheet of paper for what felt like hours. She had _no idea_ what to do with it.

With nothing in mind to draw, Adora walked into the front courtyard, searching for… 

She saw someone that made her wish she’d just stayed inside. 

Shadow Weaver, standing in _her_ courtyard, with one of her hands on _her_ Catra. 

“Hello, Adora.” She took her cold hand off of Catra’s shoulder. “Did you just wake up? _Tsk,_ it isn’t good to sleep this late, you know.”

_It’s 10AM on a Saturday, what the fuck do you mean?_

Adora straightened up and fixed her collar, smoothing out her jacket before coming to greet her. Adora felt a lot of things when it came to her. Today, anger was at the front of her mind and she wasn’t sure why. Shadow Weaver turned her attention back to Catra.

“As I was saying, I came to drop off the invitation.”

“For what?” Adora spoke up, knowing Shadow Weaver would be annoyed with her speaking ‘out of turn’. Just like she thought, Shadow Weaver’s eyes stared into her soul through her mask for a few seconds, but she answered Adora’s question casually instead of reprimanding her.

“Princess Glimmer’s wedding, to… Sir Bow,” she said through gritted teeth. 

“ _Lord,_ ” Catra corrected, opening the invitation Shadow Weaver had handed her. “Lord Bow. He’s an old friend of mine,” she explained, waving the invitation around and smiling. “I’m glad he finally got the nerve to propose, it seems like he’s been trying for _ages._ ”

Shadow Weaver forced a laugh. “I wish I’d known earlier…”

“Don’t I get an invitation, too?” Adora asked.

Adora grinned. The news of Bow and Glimmer’s marriage was amazing enough, but having _Shadow Weaver_ be the one to deliver it? With such grace and kindness? When Adora just knew that inside, she was _seething_ at the thought of losing Glimmer.

“Yes, of course,” she said through a strained voice, pulling another card out from her robes. “It is with great honour and _love_ that I invite you to this wedding ceremony, A _do_ ra,” and then handed the envelope to her unceremoniously. Adora took it with great pleasure and thanked her. The way she said her name still felt wrong. 

“So, when’s the wedding?” she asked happily. 

“The wedding will take place two weeks from now. The King is having an engagement party tomorrow night.”

“So fast! Wow, you must’ve really taken a liking to Bow?”

Shadow Weaver wrung her hands. Adora was sure she wished she could close them around her neck. She moved closer to Catra, resting a hand on the shoulder that Shadow Weaver had been touching, pretending to read the already opened wedding card that was in Catra’s hands. She smirked at Shadow Weaver as if to say, _go ahead. I dare you._ Catra wouldn’t let anything happen to Adora, at least now she was sure of that.

“Yes. He is quite the _lovely_ boy. I was hoping to arrange Princess Glimmer’s wedding to someone of my own standard… however, you know how young love is. How could I ever deny Glimmer her happiness? She is like a daughter to me.”

“Wow, gotta say I never saw _that_ coming.” she joked, staring at Shadow Weaver. Inside of her, Adora’s anger churned. Shadow Weaver comparing herself to Glimmer’s mother… She saw Catra furrow her eyebrows and frown slightly at her words. At least Catra could tell that she was… well, a bitch.

Shadow Weaver stared into Adora’s soul again as a warning, then took her leave. 

Catra stared at the date. 

“That’s funny. My birthday is the same day as the engagement party.”

“Huh.” Adora looked over her shoulder. It was tomorrow. 

“Weird, it didn’t even cross my mind ‘til now,” Catra claimed before turning to go back into the manor. Adora smiled to herself, going back to her room. 

_Finally, an idea._

***

_Catra_

Catra ran inside and refused to look at Adora, still feeling her hand on her shoulder.

Once away from her, she smiled to herself. 

_It’s working! Adora’s sort of being my friend!_

She resisted the urge to pump her fist in the air and giddily shrieked into her hands like a lovesick teenager, before composing herself and going to find Cyra.

_This is why you need more friends, Catra._

***

“The hell is that?” Catra asked Adora.

Adora presented her the dress she was laying out. “A dress?”

Catra rolled her eyes. “I know that. Why is it out?”

“I’m going to wear it tomorrow.”

“No, you’re not.”

Adora looked between the dress and Catra. “But, I... why not?” she murmured. “Do you… not like it?” she asked nervously, staring at the dress. 

“What? Of course not. You’re not wearing it tomorrow because it’s your _wedding dress_.”

Adora faced Catra, confused more than over. “So?”

Catra sighed exasperatedly. “Don’t you have any other dresses?” she walked over to Adora’s closed and opened it, surprised when a canvas almost fell on her. She pushed it off of her and back in the closet, then closed it once it became clear to her that the only clothes in the closet were a couple carbon-copies of her regular jacket. 

“Seriously? Don’t you have literally anything else?”

Adora didn’t meet her eyes, and Catra groaned before walking out. 

“I’ll order something for you. Just - _please_ put that back somewhere safe.”

***

Instead of the clothes she’d ordered for Adora, waiting in the entrance of her manor the next day was Adyn. 

“Happy Birthday, Catra!” she cheered, presenting Catra a bouquet.

“Oh!” Catra exclaimed as she was hit with the sudden scents of the flowers. Adyn laughed at her, again. 

_Be nice. She’s being a thoughtful friend._

“Uh, thanks!” Catra said brightly, accepting the bouquet. “How did you know it was my birthday?”

“Oh, I have my sources,” she giggled while twirling her hair. “Actually, I heard someone mention it to my dad a while ago. And I already told you you’re special to me. I don’t forget important things about people that are special to me.”

Catra flushed from embarrassment. “Ah. Thanks,” 

_What now what now what now?_

Catra reached out to shake her hand. 

Adyn bit her lip and softly gripped Catra’s hand, shaking it slowly while staring at her.

_Why is she looking at me like tha-_

_“Oof!”_

“AMMA!” Cyra yelped, climbing up to Catra’s back. Adyn looked at the top of Catra’s head and stared at Cyra - but in a different way than she had just been leering at her. 

“Who’s this?” she asked, still holding Catra’s hand. Catra let go of both Adyn’s hand and the flowers, letting them drop so she could hold on to Cyra. 

“Oh, this rascal -” she wrestled her off her mane and pulled Cyra down to her hip, “is Cyra.”

Adyn spun her head around. “And who’s _that?_ ” she asked coldly. Catra followed her gaze and Adora, who had the same look of disbelief on her face.

“That’s my wife, Adora.”

Adyn twisted back to Catra and did a double take. “ _Wife?_ ” she asked in disbelief. “You have a _wife_ and a _daughter?_ ”

Catra let Cyra slip down from her arms and smiled a little awkwardly at Adyn. “Uh, yeah? Didn’t I mention…?”

Adyn gasped and looked between Cyra and Catra, grief-stricken. 

“I can’t believe you strung me along like this!”

Then she stormed out of the manor. 

Cyra peered up and Catra and tugged at her hand. 

“Amma? Who was that?”

“Uh, that was my friend.”

“Why’s she mad?”

“Because…” Catra’s mind swirled with so many questions and she came to a conclusion, sighing. “I don’t think _she_ knew she was my friend.”

“Oh.” Cyra seemed to think that was an acceptable answer, and tugged her toward Adora.

“Look! ‘Dora made something for you!”

Catra noticed that Adora was indeed holding something behind her back. Her ears perked up and she smiled, pointing at Adora’s hands. 

“Got something for me, Princess?”

Adora eyed Catra with an unreadable expression, and she shoved a piece of paper in Cyra’s face.

“Here, give it to her, Cy.” she said, still looking at Catra. As soon as Cyra took it, she spun on her heel and stomped up the stairs.

Catra watched her go, unsure what her problem was. Cyra pulled Catra down to her height, and opened the paper to show her what was inside. It took Catra’s breath away.

It was a simple drawing of the pond in the garden, but that’s not what took her breath away. What _did_ was the detailed sketch of two figures that were no doubt her and Cyra, sat facing the pond with their feet in the water. 

_Aw, Adora._

Catra rubbed Cyra’s arm. “Did you make this?”

Cyra nodded enthusiastically, pointing to the flowers. “I drew this part, and this part, and Adora let me colour these…”

Catra sat cross legged on the floor with Cyra, letting her describe how she helped Adora make it, until someone arrived with the clothes she had made for Adora. Catra left to go show them to her, but Adora wasn’t anywhere in the manor. She left the dress on her bed and went to get ready herself.

***

Adora had been unsettled the whole car ride there. Catra was glad she wasn’t the one driving tonight, it gave her a chance to gather her thoughts.

Adora was mad at her, obviously. 

_Why, though?_

Maybe she was… _jealous?_

Catra lightly laughed at the thought and felt Adora glare at her.

_No, she’s not. That’d be stupid._

Anyone would be mad at their wife if they assumed their partner was _seeing_ someone else. But Catra had told her _and_ Cyra _and_ Gygaea (who had come to confront her later that afternoon) that Adyn was _just her friend_.

Yeah, Catra might have accidentally been leading her on, but that was on Adyn, really. Why didn’t she just say something so Catra could have outright told her she wasn’t interested like that?

But was Adora really jealous? That’s the only thing Catra was really interested in, because if Adora was jealous, then that meant… 

***

_Okay, time to test this stupid theory._

“So,” Catra held out a hand to Adora. “I believe you owe me a dance, Princess?”

Adora hesitated before taking Catra’s hand. She pulled her to her feet and led her to the dance floor. 

Adora’s breath hitched when Catra pulled her closer to dance.

“You _do_ know how to dance, right?”

Adora nodded, and placed one of her hand’s on Catra’s shoulder and the other softly on her waist.

Catra pulled her back and forward, following the movements of the other couples. “Do you like the dress?”

She nodded again, keeping her eyes fixed on both of their feet.

“Adora. Look at me.”

Her head snapped up, but she still didn’t say anything. An upbeat song started playing at the same time, and people started changing positions. Catra took Adora’s hands off of her and grasped each of them in hers, mindful of her claws, and started to spin around with Adora, matching their movements to the new beat. 

It started to get faster, and at some point Adora started to lead them. She was a much better dancer than Catra, and she wondered why she’d waited so long to take the lead, and then Catra saw the reason why Adora was always so scared to do anything. 

She spotted Shadow Weaver off of the dance floor, staring at both of them with ire. 

_Oof._ Catra herself felt so unsettled by the glare, she couldn’t imagine what would happen to Adora if _she_ saw it. So, she took the lead again by hooking her arms around Adora’s back and moving them back into the crowd, twisting them slightly to make sure Adora wouldn’t notice Shadow Weaver.

When she was sure the Princess wouldn’t be able to see her former guardian, Catra realized just _how_ close their faces had gotten. An easy and pleasant song started to play over the dance floor, and people started to quiet as the lights changed colour to a soft gold. 

> _We’re laying down near the fire’s light,_
> 
> _Bearing down on blackened skies_

She slowed them down, leaving her hands on Adora’s neck as she put her own above Catra’s hips. It was just them, as far as Catra could tell. Once the slow song started most people cleared out. 

> _And colours burst as I close my eyes,_

Catra breathed out softly. How long had they been dancing? She felt tired, and slowly blinked, the soft lights becoming blurs behind Adora’s face.

> _And she said…_

The song picked up speed and Catra started involuntarily swaying to it, moving Adora with her. 

> _Lay me down in golden dandelions_

Have Adora’s eyes always been this colour, or was it just the golden light that was making them shine the same colour as frozen lakes in moonlight? 

And… was that thin line on her neck a scar or a birthmark? Catra leaned forwards, and Adora leaned down… Catra was about to close the gap...

> _Cause I’ve been waiting for this moment, all my life..._

Waiting… the drums started to pick up… Why did Catra wait so long to do this…?

> _Follow me into the_ **_dark!_ **

People started cheering, and she shrank away at the sudden noise, prompting Adora to lean back. 

_I waited because… because I can’t. I can’t trust her._

The song still played in the background, but there was a spotlight on a certain couple on the dancefloor a few feet away from them. Catra could see Glimmer slyly smiling at her and Adora through the few people between them. She nudged Bow, and Bow waved at Catra. Catra waved back, letting go of Adora’s arms at the same time Adora let go of Catra’s waist.

They both watched as Glimmer and Bow started to slow dance to the song, ending it with a chaste kiss and another round of cheers. 

_Well,_ Catra thought when she got a glimpse of how red-faced Adora had gotten, _I got my answer, I guess._

***

_Adora_

Her heart was thudding in her chest. It had started when Catra had dragged her to the dance floor, and continued long after they had gotten back to the manor. 

Once Cyra had left with Gygaea to get ready for bed, Adora stormed into Catra’s room.

“Catra.”

She glanced back at her before looking back in the mirror to undo her tie. 

“ _Catra,_ ” Adora repeated angrily. “You shouldn’t have done that.”

“Done what?” Catra asked, still fiddling with her tie. “Honestly, why do I even bother...” she muttered to herself before using one of her claws to neatly cut through the cloth and slip it off her neck. 

“You know exactly what I’m talking about! And - and if you do it again, then… then… you’ll regret it.”

Catra carelessly flung the remains of the tie somewhere. Adora didn’t take her eyes off of her, realizing they were standing much closer than she’d thought. She remembered how the material of Catra’s shirt felt against her bare arms and was now _extremely_ aware of how thin it really was - _seriously, doesn’t she worry about getting sick?_

“I’ll _regret_ it?” she deadpanned, crossing her arms. “What _exactly_ will you do, Adora?"

Adora’s throat felt a little dry. “I - something, I don’t…” She stopped staring at the shirt and raised her eyes to Catra’s. “Just don’t do it again.”

“And why not?” Catra smirked, uncrossing her arms and stepping into Adora’s space. “You seemed to be having fun."

“Well, I -” Adora cleared her throat and shuffled away from Catra, “I _wasn’t_. So stop, doing that,” Adora waved her hand in the general direction of her body. 

“Doing what?” she asked in that raspy, enticing voice of hers. 

" _That!_ _”_ Adora felt her face on fire. “If - if you want to dance with someone, if you want to _fuck around_ with someone like _this_ ,” Adora pointed at Catra’s shirt again, “Then go do it with your _friend, Adyn,_ and leave _me_ alone!”

She could hear Catra snickering at her as she left.

***

Adora practically ripped herself out of the dress Catra had gotten for her.

Why was she like this?

What did she _want_ from her? Taking her out there and… and dancing like _that_ with her? When a few hours earlier Catra had been all too happy holding someone else’s hand and letting _them_ make her smile. It had taken weeks for Adora to get close enough to Catra to be able to talk to her and this _stranger,_ who didn’t even know she was _married,_ did it in, what? Ten seconds?

_I can’t believe she has the nerve to act like everything is cool when she was fucking cheating on me!_

_Why do I care? She can flirt with whoever she wants. It’s not like she ever really did think of me as her wife. We’re not together in anything but a name._

Being so close to Catra, and at the same _not -_

_Why on Etheria did I start thinking that… I was just fooling myself, letting myself believe that Catra was going to - that Catra would -_

Adora picked up her favourite throw pillow and threw it. To her dismay, it hit the wall and then the ground with a slight _ooph_ , not the result she was going for. She didn’t know why but her blood was thumping and she had this urge to do _something,_ she felt so restless and frustrated and it was _hot_ and _uncomfortable_ \- 

_Why are you mad, again? Because Catra danced with you? Or because she stopped?_

_Shut up!_

Adora threw another pillow in frustration, this time it flew out her window.

_Oh, fuck._

She miserably flopped onto the couch and noticed the tracker pad sitting on the corner desk. Against her better judgement, she picked it up.

_'glimmer? you up?'_

“Why did I do that,” she said to herself. “What the _fuck_ am I even supposed to ask her?”

_'yeah, i’m talking to bow right now '_

_'oh nevermind then'_

_'stop being an idiot and tell me what’s up'_

_'ok so'_

Adora frowned at her screen. 

_'I just'_

Tap, tap, tap. “Why am I like this,” Adora sighed.

 _'i don’t even know where to start here  
_ _it’s just smthn that happened w catra'_

_'at the party?'_

_'yeah, but it’s more than that'_

She waited for a response. 

_'okay.  
_ _what’s up?'_

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i lied its still angst
> 
> but hey wasn't that fun when everything was going fine??
> 
> breakdown of this chapter in case my writing isnt clear:  
> -bow focuses entirely on exposing what they'd done to SW, questions adora abt some stuff in her past and puts together whats goin on  
> -catra decides she wants to be friends with adyn so she can learn how to be a better friend for adora, so like she's using adyn as a trial-and-error experiment, adyn takes it as catra is interested and flirts w her. catra, a dumb gay, assumes this is how normal people are with their friends, and starts flirting w adora  
> -catra figures out that SW hurt adora, adora has a flashback to on eof the worst nights of her life and catra sort of helps her through it  
> -bow threatens kitch but my guy is a little overworked and tired, plus kitch doesnt take him seriously. so bow tries to chill out a little and ask catra for help, but then he finds the files and is like ":o oh my god" and the picture gets a SHIT ton clearer, goes to talk to kitch again but this time after a nap, this time it works!! and he threatens SW through kitch into letting glimmer marry him  
> -meanwhile adora goes to confront SW but it doesnt work, instead she gets rly upset and catra tries to cheer her up w some books, btw did you guys notice that after what happened she called grim a sergeant, meaning she demoted him from captain bc he disrespected adora  
> -adora rly starts liking catra and makes her a bday present, but then she sees adyn and catra together and gets really fucking mad bc she thinks catra was flirting w her  
> -catra picks up on her anger and is like "wait, does adora... like me??" and finds out after they almost kiss that yeah, she does, and thats why she's mad at me for hanging out w adyn. catra finds it hopelessly amusing  
> -adora is frustrated bc she doesn't understand why catra is being Like That so she texts glimmer to complain
> 
> (don't get nervous abt the chapter count i'm just messing around with some dates in my head. there's a lot of stuff from the show that i'm skipping over bc fuck the show, so that's why i keep changing the count, the more i add/cut out the more/less the chapters get)
> 
> by the way i've written the ending and, you guys, its literally so sweet i'm embarrassed that i'm the one the wrote it, but how can i make you guys suffer like fifteen fucking chapters of pure angst and then _not_ give you a happy ending with a ridiculously fluffy epilogue???
> 
> _the epilogue is prob gonna be three parts btw, so feel free to fuck off until this story is three chapters away from the ending and then reading all of it, i promise i wont be mad as long as u leave a comment saying "SDKJDKJFKSDF" at the end of reading this_
> 
> if you guys are sick of the angst check out my catradora crackfic, its so much lighter and funnier than this i promise. its a coffee shop/magic au and its only four chapters with a sort of epilogue


	8. jo mera haqq hai, woh bhi mujhko hasil to nahi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jo mera haqq hai, woh bhi mujhko, hasil to nahi...
> 
> _i also didn't receive what should have been my right to have..._
> 
> ***  
> They have dinner with _friends_. The rain gets the best of them. And someone takes it upon themselves to rescue someone who doesn't need saving.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i dont even know how long this shit is the word count is 61987 as of ch7 so lets see. 
> 
> wow this is great. also updates might get more sporadic bc im back in school (and in a writing course) so i might get either _really fast_ or really slow. im trying to finish the whole thing before posting new chapters, so like i waited until i was halfway done ch10 to post this one. so if its been about two weeks or more since i updated, expect a bunch of updates all at once at some point. 
> 
> so uh. This is an important chapter regarding how the characters are going to act in future chapters. Remember the epiphany a certain catgirl had in chapter 6? That we never got the answers for? well.... here are some answers.

_Glimmer_

_its weird_ _  
_ _i can’t_

_can’t what?_

_i need to talk about it in person_ _  
_ _and catra can’t know_

 _okay_ _  
_ _i’ll come by soon_ _  
_ _don’t freak out  
_ _i think I know what this is abt anyways_

_you do?_

_i’m pretty sure i do  
this is bc of what happened at the party right?  
we'll talk when i get there tomorrow _

***

If you asked her why she did it she wouldn’t be able to give you a straight answer.

But every time before Glimmer left, even if she was sneaking out, she’d stop by Micah’s bedroom door and tap a pattern they had made up when she was younger, and tell him she was heading out. 

Angella had caught her, once. She smiled sadly and pulled Glimmer into a hug. “Sometimes we do silly things for people we love, even if they hurt us,” she had told her. Glimmer squeezed her eyes shut and pushed the memory deep, deep down, then tentatively knocked on the door. 

“Hey, Dad. I’m going out, I’ll be back soon,” she whispered, before turning to leave. 

To her surprise, for the first time in the years, the door actually opened for her. 

“Glimmer?” 

She turned around and saw her father standing in the doorway. He was rarely ever in his room, and if he was, then he was sleeping.

“Where are you headed, honey?”

Glimmer approached him carefully, afraid that he would remember something important he had to do and turn her away, again.

“I’m… going to visit Adora.”

His face fell a little at the mention of her best friend. “Adora?” he asked, “You’re going to Thaymor?”

Glimmer looked him up and down in confusion. “No, Dad,” she strained, not understanding why he would think Adora was in her childhood town, “She’s with Catra, at Red Moon Manor.”

“Oh…” Micah seemed a little confused, but snapped out of it and smiled. “Of course, I didn’t realize she had moved. Look at you two, all grown up now...”

Then he stepped forward, before hesitantly pulling Glimmer into a hug and pecking her forehead. Glimmer froze, then hugged back with all her might, breathing in her father’s comfort. It was over as quickly as it had begun.

“Here,” Micah searched his pockets for something, and pulled out a money pouch. “If you need more, you can ask Shadow Weaver, okay sweetheart?”

Glimmer nodded weakly, accepting the gift. “I’ll see you later, Dad.” Then she sped down the hall before he had even closed his door. 

***

Her dad was… getting worse with keeping in touch.

He had made a short appearance at the engagement party, but he hadn’t even spoken to Bow. He made a short, customary speech to welcome everyone, and then disappeared again. 

_Why? Why does Dad not care enough to even stick around for a little while?_

Glimmer swung the small pouch around. She knew in her head it wasn’t really _his_ fault. He didn’t even know where Adora lived, that’s how little information was given to him about Adora and Catra. Was he even aware the engagement party was for _her?_ Or was he told the party was for some random nobleman in his court, and that was why he didn’t stay? Or did he know, but not deem Glimmer important enough to be an attentive father?

Glimmer pushed her feelings aside and found one of the Bright Moon chauffeurs, asking them to take her to Red Moon.

***

Adora had been pacing a hole while Glimmer finished her tea.

“And uh, we were having fun, we were! But uh, she, she pushed me against a wall? Not in a, ‘i’m-going-to-hurt-you-way’, I mean, I _thought_ that it was, but she was just hiding me, because Gaea’s really scary sometimes, and anyways she covered my mouth to keep me quiet? And um… pressed her um…” Adora blushed and _finally_ sat down. Glimmer set her tea down.

“So what’s your question? Because so far you’ve just been ranting about your wife touching you.”

Adora covered her face. “She wasn’t _touching_ me!”

“And what? You _want_ her to?”

“No, _Glimmer -_ I -” Adora sighed and rested against the couch. Well, as rested Adora could be when she was anxious. “I’m just _so confused_.”

“About what?”

“About _Catra!_ I mean,” she sat back up and started gesticulating her responses, “What does she want from me? First she completely _ignores_ me, then all of a sudden she’s - she’s teasing me? And like, offering to buy me stuff? And at the party, she -”

“Almost kissed you, yeah. I saw,” Glimmer caught Adora’s waving hand and smacked it back down into her lap, “I know. What’s the problem here? I know you two are still getting used to each other, but -” She frowned. “You two _have_ kissed before right?”

At Adora’s stunned expression, Glimmer groaned, putting it together. Adora had started complaining about how _friendly_ Catra had been treating her since the minute Glimmer had sat down with her and until this point she couldn’t really see the problem, but now it was clear. 

“Adora! Are you telling me you two haven’t even gotten past the flirty phase of your relationship?”

Adora crossed her arms and huffed. “We don’t have a _relationship._ ”

“You’re _married_ to her.” Glimmer slid forward in her chair, frown deepening. “Wait… Adora… you, you do realize _why_ Catra was doing that stuff, right?”

Adora huffed _again,_ “No! That’s why I’m so _confused!_ Like,” she leaned forward, wringing her hands together, whispering, “She keeps doing stuff - sometimes it feels like she’s doing it on purpose - just to like, make me all jittery and _nervous_ . And then when I _do_ get nervous, she laughs!” Adora pushed herself back against the couch again, bouncing her leg. “Why is she being so _mean?”_ she said, covering her face. “Why does she keep _fucking_ with me?”

“Adora…” Glimmer complained, “Adora, why are you like this… you can’t seriously be this blind…”

She peeked through her hands. “What?”

“Adora, she’s not _fucking with you,_ she’s _flirting with you!”_

“No, she isn’t! She doesn’t even _like_ me!”

_Oh my Stars. Oh God._

Glimmer started to laugh. 

***

_Catra_

She was walking out of the army base when she saw Adyn again.

To her surprise, she was _smiling?_ A huge difference than the hateful look she’d given Catra before she stormed away.

“Hi, _Katrina.”_

Catra froze, hearing her full name pronounced out loud. 

“Excuse me?” Catra asked her, still frozen in her spot, “Why did you call me that?”

Adyn drifted closer, pulling Catra aside so they weren’t standing in the middle of the entrance. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t give you a chance to explain,” Adyn pulled Catra closer to whisper. “I guess I sort of got a little mad. But, I get it now!” She started to rub Catra’s arm, and Catra shook her hand off of her. 

“Why did you call me Katrina?” she asked again, coldly. Adyn faltered, bringing her hand back to herself. 

“I - That’s your name, right?”

“How do you know that?”

“Well,” Adyn blushed, smiling. “Maybe I did a little digging into you after that day.”

Catra felt herself getting defensive. “You _what?_ ” She started backing away. “Adyn, don’t you know what _boundaries_ are?” 

She looked surprised, then defensive.

“Maybe if you’d just _told me_ then I wouldn’t have to find out for myself!” Adyn crossed her arms and looked Catra up and down angrily. “Really, Katrina, how do you expect to - to make _friends_ with people when you won’t even tell them your name?”

Catra closed her eyes. Adyn was sort of right. This wasn’t the first time someone had called her out for being so closed off about her life. She opened her eyes and gnawed her bottom lip, growling softly.

“What else did you find out about me?” she asked quietly, aware of the people around her. Adyn smiled, taking Catra’s arm and leading her down the steps. 

“Well, your daughter is _much_ older than your marriage,” Adyn mused leading Catra down the path, “And she just mysteriously appeared one day, doesn’t even look like you. And I also found out you’ve never had a relationship before the wedding. So am I wrong in guessing that Cyra isn’t _actually_ your daughter?”

Catra gave her a crooked smile. Adyn was smarter than she thought. She was also more _devious_ than she thought. How far did someone go to find out all that about a person? In fact, how did Adyn know when her birthday was, or even where Red Moon was? Catra didn’t like this slight power play of hers. 

“She isn’t." 

Adyn bit her lip, looking around in satisfaction at having been correct. As they neared the end of the path, she slowed down to a stop and gazed at Catra, hand still on her arm.

“And I know that you and your wife aren’t very close.”

Catra stopped, taking her arm away from Adyn. She wasn’t… implying _that,_ was she?

“Listen, Adyn,” she started. “You’re…” Catra chose her next words carefully, trying to figure out how to reject her without outright saying it, “A _good friend_.”

Adyn smiled, coming into Catra’s space. “You hesitated.” 

Catra sighed uncomfortably, putting a distance between them. Adyn didn’t stop smiling, though, and she started leering at her again. “Am I right, though? You and Adora don’t get along?” She stepped closer to Catra once more. “I can see it in your eyes, you know. You’re hiding something. Tell me?” 

Adyn was giving her a very earnest look, but it was slowly fading as she didn’t give her an answer. Catra didn’t want to tell her everything that was going on, although she had a feeling that wouldn’t stop Adyn from trying to find out. She started thinking of ways she could get rid of her in a _polite_ way, and after a while of silence, Adyn spoke again.

“Katrina,” Adyn said in a small voice, upset now, “I’m going to be honest with you. I know you and Adora have some issues… I thought maybe you would want a _friend_ to talk to about it. But maybe you’re not ready to open up yet. As your friend, though, I want to tell you, you need to learn how to trust others.”

Adyn turned and began to walk away. “When you’re ready to talk about it, I’m here. I’ll see you, okay Katrina?”

Catra now felt awful hearing how upset Adyn was, but she didn’t try calling after her. On the way back to the manor, she had conflicting thoughts. Not trusting others was what had gotten her into this mess in the first place, so maybe she should talk about it… but with Adyn? 

She wasn’t sure how okay she was with her yet. Sure, Adyn did keep saying the word _friend,_ but Catra was _very_ suspicious that she had other intentions. She really didn’t have any interest in seeing her again. 

***

Catra could feel the ground vibrating with how furiously Adora was shaking her leg before she even entered the room properly.

“Are you… are you _laughing_ at me? Seriously? At a time like this?”

Glimmer laughed again. “Adora, please tell me you aren’t actually that oblivious.”

“What do you mean?”

“I _mean_ that Catra -”

“Hey, Adora,” Catra said, “Hi, Glimmer.”

Adora yelped and turned to Catra.

“Catra, hi, I - I didn’t know you’d be back this early.”

“Hm. I didn’t know _you_ would be here at all,” Catra nodded at Glimmer. Glimmer’s eyes twinkled as she grinned at Catra.

“She called me up out of the blue and begged me to come here. Catra, can you _please_ explain -”

“Glimmer,” Adora warned, sounding nervous about something.

“No, no, go on, Glimmer.” Catra sat down in between them. “What does Adora need me to explain?”

Glimmer looked between the two - Adora, whose face was flaming, and then at Catra, who was genuinely confused. Yesterday was… _interesting,_ to say the least, but why would Adora feel the need to call Glimmer?

“Actually, I think you two should talk about it alone.”

_The last time we talked alone, Adora told me to leave her alone, so I don’t know if that’s a good idea._

Catra grimaced and started tapping her claws on the side of the chair, thinking. “You know what,” Catra stood up. “Adora, go get dressed.”

“But - I am dressed?” She stood up too.

“Dressed as in ready to go out?” Catra examined Adora’s signature red jacket and grey pants which she was pretty sure were older than Gygaea. The only thing that had changed were her new blue boots and the shirt she wore beneath the jacket. 

"Sure. Me, you, and Glimmer. Let’s go out. My treat."

Maybe Adora called Glimmer over because she was feeling tense for some reason.

_Well… you did almost kiss her that night, and she made it clear that she didn’t like it, even if it seemed fun at the time…_

Catra’s heart dropped in her stomach, and then she steeled herself. She _told_ herself not to get close to Adora, and then she went ahead and did exactly that.

But… it felt nice. Being with Adora in a comfortable manner. They were friends, by now. The only person other than Cyra and Gygaea that Catra saw every day. She’d gotten quite used to having her company.

How long until this operation was wrapped up and Catra could go back to _normal?_

What even was normal now, anyways? Because if you’d asked her about a month ago, she’d say _not_ having a blonde princess roaming the hallways of her manor in the middle of the night, but now, Catra felt quite empty at the thought of Adora not being somewhere around the manor if she wanted to talk to her.

If Catra was being honest with herself for a minute, she didn’t care about the Horde or the Rebellion anymore. She wanted to run away and take Cyra and Adora with her, go away from all this bullshit, just like Entrapta had - 

But Catra saw the toll that Entrapta abandoning them took on everyone. She wasn’t about to just pack up and leave. She thought carefully about this idea that had occurred to her as she opened up her menu to order something.

_It’s a stupid plan. I’m not leaving and letting the Horde get away with what they’ve done… what they’re still doing… That’s why I joined the Rebellion, right? To prevent others from hurting like me?_

Catra looked up at Adora and silently passed her the menu to choose from, noticing how Adora’s eyebrows scrunched up when she tried to make a decision. Catra remembered the apathy in the eyes of the soldier that examined her, deciding whether or not it was worth it to keep her around. 

_Adora… you can’t be with them. You just can’t. I don’t want to believe it._

_I don’t want to believe it anymore._

Catra was snapped out of her thoughts when someone pulled out a chair next to her. She turned, seeing Adyn. 

“Hi! You mind if I join, friend?”

***

_Adora_

Catra walked back into the manor, and Glimmer caught Adora by her shoulder and stopped her from following inside.

“Adora!” she furiously whispered. “Who the _hell_ was that?”

Adora deflated, knowing this was coming. Adyn had just so happened to be at that restaurant as well, and had invited herself to sit next to Catra and join their otherwise lovely meal. Glimmer kept shooting Adora a look throughout dinner and nudging her to say something, but Adora didn’t have any desire to make conversation while _she_ was there. 

“I’m not sure, really. Catra said she’s just a friend.”

“And you _believe_ that?”

Adora’s chest tightened. “That’s what I _wanted_ to talk about before you changed the subject to -” Adora’s face burned as she remembered what Glimmer had pointed out to her “- _that._ ”

“You didn’t answer my question about _that_ either.”

Adora sighed, and heard Catra calling her to come inside. 

“Okay, fine: We _haven’t_ done anything at all other than those - those _accidental_ touches I told you about -”

“ _You’ve been married over a month!”_

They had? Adora blinked. A month, huh? 

“And I don’t know exactly who Adyn is, but… I don’t like her.”

Glimmer huffed, and Catra called her again. Adora turned to go see what she wanted, but Glimmer caught her by her arm _again_ and yelled back, “In a _minute,_ General! You can survive five minutes without looking at her!” 

“ _Glimmer!”_

“Adora, listen: you have _every reason_ to not like that bitch. She - she kept looking at Catra like _she_ was the most appetizing thing there.”

Adora felt her face get hotter, remembering the time she had also been doing pretty much exactly that. “That’s why I’m so _confused_ , Glimmer. Sometimes it seems like - like Catra wants me, but -”

“She _does_ , you idiot,” Glimmer interrupted. “She kept trying to talk to you but you kept blowing her off! What’s the matter with you?”

Adora closed her arms around her chest. “She - she was just being nice. She didn’t actually want to talk to me.”

Glimmer groaned. “It’s bad enough Catra’s work keeps her away from you for so long, and then the free time you two _do_ have, there’s a _kid_ around -”

“Cyra’s amazing, don’t blame it on her!”

“I’m _not,_ I’m blaming you. Why do you keep purposefully missing chances with her? I’m not saying Catra is _going_ to cheat on you, Adora, she’s not like that. I’m just saying… try reining her in a little. Don’t give _Adyn_ any chances to… to _provide_ something for Catra that you can’t.”

“What, like _sex?_ ” 

If that was what Catra wanted… if _that_ was why she’d started acting so nice… well, she could go ahead and do it with Adyn. Adora wasn’t interested in Catra - not _just_ for that, anyways - but Catra didn’t want Adora the way she did, did she? She was just a means to an end. That explained the _‘flirting’_. 

Glimmer groaned and covered her face. “ _Ew_ _,_ can you not _say that?”_

Adora pushed her shoulder saying that _she_ was the one that brought it up. 

“And _no,_ get your mind out of the gutter. I meant, like - ” Glimmer tried to continue, but Catra called for her again. “Okay,” Glimmer took a deep breath. “Stay awake, because I’m going to talk to you about this more _tonight_.”

Adora said goodbye, and went inside, still doubting what Glimmer was saying. Catra didn’t _like_ her. Not like that, and, not in any way, really.

They could act friendly with each other however much they wanted, but at the end of the day, Adora was still just a prisoner, and Catra… Catra was the one keeping her imprisoned.

***

_Catra_

Catra figures she was wrong in assuming Adyn’s intentions were like _that._

Adyn acted the same way she always did with Catra, even with Adora right there. Maybe Adyn was just a touchy-feely person and Catra had picked up on her signals a little oddly. Perhaps she was really just trying to be friends with her. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary with her at dinner.

Adora had been quiet all evening, though. 

“What were you doing?”, she asked when Adora finally walked back in the manor after saying goodbye to Glimmer. 

“Talking.” she shrugged.

Catra tilted her head at her. “About what?”

“Stuff, I don’t know.” Adora started to go up to her room, and Catra followed her.

“What kind of _stuff?_ ” she tried asking again. Was she mad that Adyn had joined? Catra _did_ know that Adora was a bit jealous of her - but there was nothing to be jealous _of._ Adora stopped in the middle of the staircase and turned to look at Catra. 

“Why do you care? What do you _want?_ ” she asked a little sharply, taking Catra by surprise.

“I’m just trying to have a conversation,” Catra defended, looking up at Adora, “Can I not do that?” 

Adora huffed and continued up the stairs. “Last time I checked, General, _you_ can do _whatever_ you want. I’m the only one around here that _can’t,_ remember?” 

“Adora!” Catra reached up to take her hand, and Adora slipped out of her grasp - it hurt more than Catra would admit - but turned to look at her again. “Did I do something wrong?”

Adora glared at her. “According to you, _I’m_ the one who did something wrong, right? I’m a _traitor_ who trades information for Hemanogen?” Adora started back up the stairs, reaching the top. “Since when do you care about a _criminal_ like me?”

She turned to head towards her room, and Catra let her go. Everything had been going so well lately, even if they’d been a little off since the party, but Adora brought _that_ up. The unspoken truth between them. 

Catra kept trying to let it go, but every once in a while she’d remember the paper in her study that claimed Adora was a Horde spy, and she’d feel resentment towards her. 

But then when she’s actually _with_ Adora, Catra would feel… 

_Oh no. That’s not… oh no._

***

_Adora_

Glimmer messaged her about an hour later.

_You’re still awake right?_

_Yeah_

_Okay good_ _  
_ _this is what I was trying to tell you_ _  
_ _I know you have your doubts_ _  
_ _but really, adora_ _  
_ _do you think catra would do all that stuff for someone she doesn’t like?_ _  
_ _And I mean ACTUALLY like. not just for THAT._

Sure she would. Wouldn’t anyone? Was it normal to… to have clothes made for someone? To wrap up their hand and comfort them when they were hurt? No, Catra was just being considerate. 

_She’s being nice_

_And in the short time you’ve gotten to know her, how nice is she usually?_

Adora laughed, then felt her gut twist. 

_she’s nice enough to adyn_

_Adora_ _  
_ _it’s NOT the same!!_ _  
_ _i was trying to say don't give adyn a chance get close to catra in an EMOTIONAL way bc  
she shouldn't have that kind of bond with anyone but you  
and btw, catra didn't even WANT that kind of attention from her  
__if she wanted adyn like that_ _  
_ _why did she keep waiting for you?_

Adora frowned at the screen.

_What do you mean?  
ofc she had to wait for me, she was our ride  
_

_Oh my god Adora_ _  
_ _did you really not notice?_ _  
_ _every time that bitch made a joke_ _  
__catra’d turn to see if you laughed_ _  
_ _or when she spoke to catra_ _  
_ _catra would like ask you what you thought_ _  
_ _and even whenever she, UGH, touched her?_ _  
_ _catra leaned away and scooted closer to you_ _  
_ _what did YOU think that was for?_

Adora slowly started smiling. She hadn’t noticed Catra was doing that, but now that Glimmer was pointing it out, she remembered a moment Adyn had laughed and thrown her head back, and Adora glared down at her chicken, only looking back up when she heard a chair screeching and saw that Catra was looking at her. She didn’t think anything of it then, but...

_I didn’t realize she was doing all that for me_

_I was trying to explain at the manor_ _  
_ _adyn definitely likes catra (she was flirting w her all night!!) but_ _  
_ _adora, take my word for it_ _  
_ _catra doesn’t like adyn AT ALL_ _  
_ _its like that guy that wouldn’t stop hitting on princess Mermista. remember?_

Adora snickered softly, mindful of Cyra sleeping right next to her. That man really was persistent, but Mermista kept rejecting him and even threw a drink in his face, once.

 _she doesn’t care about her_ _  
_ _she only cares about you_ _  
_ _so please, stop being so insecure_ _  
_ _and talk to catra_ _  
_ _tell her u don’t like adyn_ _  
_ _and ur not comfortable with her around_ _  
_ _she’ll listen_

Adora snorted. Would she?

 _welllllllll from what bow’s told me she doesn’t usually listen_ _  
_ _but she’ll listen to you, trust me_

Adora stared at the message.

_okay_

_are you just saying that or do u understand?_

_I understand_

_really? Tell me what I just explained to you_

Adora sighed, reading the messages over.

 _you’re saying that catra doesn’t like adyn_ _  
_ _and she likes me but_

_but what, adora?_

_but what if you’re wrong_

_adora_ _  
_ _i’m 99% sure that girl is falling in love with you_ _  
_ _idk exactly what’s going on between you two_ _  
_ _bc you refuse to tell me abt ur problems, which is another issue_ _  
_ _but really adora_ _  
_ _just ask urself this_ _  
_ _how do u expect her to act if she DIDNT like you???_

Adora already knew the answer to that question. 

Catra hadn’t liked her, at first, but. Things were getting better, weren’t they? The whole 'traitor' thing was so far behind them. Neither of them had ever even mentioned it for weeks now, until Adora had just brought it up out of anger. And even then Catra seemed shocked once she mentioned it. 

Maybe she… Maybe… 

Was it possible Catra actually started to believe her? 

It wasn’t… completely impossible. How long could someone hold a grudge for? Surely Catra was over it? 

But everything else Glimmer had said.

Even if Catra had let it go, even if she no longer thought of Adora as an _enemy_ , did she even think of her as… something more than a friend?

_i’ll think about it_

_adora, promise me ur gonna talk to catra_ _  
_ _and try being a little more open w her_ _  
_ _don’t let that bitch get between u two!!_

Adora didn’t really think she had a right to ask Catra to stop seeing other people, but if she admitted that she’d be in for another lecture. 

_ok_

Adora switched off the tracker pad and curled up next to Cyra’s sleeping form, trying to match her breathing to the small kit’s so she could sleep. 

***

_Catra_

_God, maybe I do need to talk about this,_ Catra thought while tiredly dragging herself upstairs the next evening. She’d spent nearly all night awake just wishing she could talk to Adora, while at the same time wanting to be as far away from her as possible, and then all day ruminating. 

She _liked_ her. Catra had actually gone ahead and formed a stupid crush on her stupid wife knowing that there was a chance Adora might leave her. 

She asked herself again, _was it worth it?_ Letting herself get close to her? Taking the risk of believing she was innocent, just to have it thrown back at her later?

“Princess?” Catra heard Gaea’s voice echo from upstairs. “Princess Adora? Wake up!”

Catra bolted up the stairs to see what was wrong. 

“What happened?” Catra burst through the door to find Cyra crying next to Adora’s still form while Gaea tried patting her cheeks to wake her up.

“What _happened!?”_ Catra asked again, panicked as she knelt next to Adora. 

“I don’t know - it started to rain and she suddenly ran up here - Cyra found her like this,” Gygaea explained quickly, moving so Catra could take her place trying to wake her up.

“Hey, Adora,” Catra said softly, leaning down to see if she’d open her eyes. “Adora? Wake up, Princess…” she patted her cheek, quickly moving her hand to her neck to see if she still had a pulse. It was slow, but it was there. 

Catra looked up at Gaea, who was watching in shock and slightly tearing up. “What are you doing? Go! Go call a doctor!”

Gaea nodded and ran out the door. Catra looked at Cyra, who was whimpering softly while clutching Adora’s hand. 

“Amma…” Cyra said, and Catra reached over to pet her head, “Is ‘Dora dead?”

Catra ceased her petting and stared wide eyed at the child. Why would Cyra’s mind jump to that?

“No, kid,” Catra told her, taking her hand and pressing it against the vein in Adora’s neck. “Feel that? That’s her heart. As long as it’s beating, she’s fine.” Catra let Cyra feel Adora’s heartbeat to calm down, and tried listening to Adora’s breathing to calm down, herself.

_She’s fine._

Catra slowly slid her arms underneath Adora’s back and her legs, and heaved her up to set her on her bed. Adora started squirming and kicking, and Catra pretty much dropped her onto it. Cyra climbed up next to her and tried taking her hand again, but Adora’s body flinched at the contact and Cyra jumped back in fear.

Soon, Gaea brought in a doctor, so Catra took Cyra to her room to give him some space. 

Cyra was sniffling softly and wouldn’t let go of her, so Catra settled down with her and let her cuddle, until she got a call from someone.

“Hello, Shadow Weaver.”

_“Hello, General Catra. I noticed it was raining today, is Adora okay?”_

Catra rolled her eyes, prying Cyra off of her and leaving so the kid didn’t have to listen. 

She didn’t answer her. “What do you mean?” she said instead, feigning confusion. Shadow Weaver was like poison for Adora, and she was sure the woman didn’t actually care. Whatever her motives were for calling, she didn’t think they were good.

_“Well, she hasn’t told you yet? I'd hoped she would have been open about her life with you.”_

Catra gritted her teeth, not wanting the fact that they weren't close pointed out by _her_ of all people. “What hasn’t she told me?”

_“Adora has this… disease. Whenever it rains, she goes a little, uh… Well, I don’t want to intrude. You should ask her yourself.”_

Catra peeked inside Adora’s room, where the doctor was speaking to Gaea. 

“I will. She’s having dinner right now, so I’ll discuss it with her later. Thank you.” 

She hung up before she heard a reply.

***

Catra sat next to Adora’s still form. The doctor had done a checkup and told them that Adora was fine other than the fact that she had fainted for some reason, but until she woke up and told them exactly why, they wouldn’t be able to help. It wasn’t dehydration or hunger, so it must have been something else that had triggered her ‘fight-or-flight’ response a little too fast and hard, causing her body to just shut down. 

Adora writhed a little in her sleep, gripping the sheets and whimpering. She must have been having a nightmare. Did people get those while unconscious?

Catra reached for her hand and untangled it from the sheets, hoping it would jarr Adora enough to wake up. 

She didn’t open her eyes, but she _did_ grasp Catra’s hand. It took her by surprise, causing her to fall down onto the bed. Before she even realized what was going on, Adora had started hugging Catra’s arm, still softly whimpering whenever Catra tried to take it away.

“Adora?”

No response.

 _“Adora?”_ she tried again.

Adora made a soft noise and hugged her arm tighter.

Catra flopped her head onto the pillow beneath her, stretching her legs. There were worse fates to be resigned to than being accidentally cuddled. 

_“D, no, mm...”_ Adora said, her words garbled. She sounded like she was asking someone not to go. 

Unsure of what to do, Catra reached over with her other hand and cautiously stroked her hair. To her amazement, Adora actually relaxed around her, and pushed her head closer towards Catra. 

She looked out the window. The sun had set long ago, and she’d sent Cyra to bed alone a little while earlier. Gaea had turned the lights out and brought Catra a change of clothes to Adora’s room, telling her to stay with her wife for the night, and now she could see why. 

Adora started to cry softly in her sleep, so Catra tried stroking her hair again. Eventually, she calmed down and settled back into her sleep, so Catra figured she might as well do the same.

_Since when do you care about a criminal like me?_

_What have I done that’s_ actually _wrong since I got here?_

It was true. Adora hadn’t done a single thing that was wrong. She was, by all means, perfect. Even if she did suck at chess, and always had her hair in that stupid adorable little poof, and was always wearing that _horrendous_ red jacket…

In fact, Catra couldn’t think of a single thing that was _wrong_ when it came to Adora. Everything was... perfect.

_Was it worth it?_

Catra looked down at Adora, sound asleep in her arms, and despite herself, smiled.

***

_Adora_

She woke up surrounded by warmth and her face buried in something extremely soft. 

Her senses slowly came to her. Her arms felt like lead and she absolutely did _not_ want to move them… What happened? When did she fall asleep with Cyra? And had Cyra always been this warm and soft? 

Adora opened her sticky eyes and saw that the hair her face was buried in was _actually_ fur. Fur that belonged to the only other Magicat she knew. Adora looked up and froze, realizing that she had her face buried in the crook of Catra’s neck, which - when did Catra even come into her room?

Actually, when did Adora?

Slowly, it came back to her. The rain. The panic. The running. And then the… oh, she passed out. Right. But that didn’t explain Catra.

Fully awake now, Adora was horrified to realize just how _close_ the both of them were. Adora was still in yesterday’s clothes - good, that meant no one had undressed her and seen the scars over her back - but Catra was in her ridiculously oversized flower t-shirt and a pair of shorts, her uniform hanging off of one of Adora’s chairs. 

Which meant two things: one, Catra had changed in her room. And if that wasn’t enough, the second was that Adora’s legs were tangled with hers. Her bare legs. 

Her bare legs, which were touching Adora through her grey pants. 

Adora yelped, untangling their limbs - _why was she hugging Catra’s left arm and why was Catra hugging her_ back _with her right arm_ \- and scrambling away. 

Catra woke up, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes before turning her attention to Adora.

“Oh, great.” She smirked. “You’re finally _conscious._ ”

Catra swung her legs over the side of the bed and got up, stretching. Adora turned away to give her privacy, and slid her jacket off of her body, feeling uncomfortably hot after spending the whole night in it. When she felt the bed dip again, she looked back at Catra. Catra was staring at her - her shirt? Adora checked her arm to see if she had a rip or a stain, but nothing. Catra was still staring as Adora put her arm back down to lean onto the headboard. 

“So uh,” Catra cleared her throat, sitting cross-legged in front of her, “Are you feeling better?”

Adora bit the inside of her cheek. Was she feeling mortified? Sure. Confused? Definitely. But that was certainly better than the fear and anxiety she felt before her world turned black, so.

“Uh… yeah.”

Silence.

“I’m sorry.”

Catra’s eyebrows shot up, and her pupils did a weird cat-like thing, too, looking at Adora in surprise.

“For what?”

“I, uh…” Adora blushed, bringing a knee up to her chest. “I was being kind of unfair to you that night. I guess, I just didn’t like… that Adyn was there.” 

Adora bit the inside of her cheek _even harder._ She’d spent most of yesterday _missing_ Catra, and wondered if things were going to go back to the way they used to be after Adora had gone off on her that night. Even just disregarding everything Glimmer had tried to convince her after, Catra had been attempting to be _nice_ and Adora had assumed the worst of her intentions. Catra could go ahead and do that about her, but Adora wasn’t built that way. 

Hence, the apology. “I thought that the dinner was kind of, an _us_ thing, just family. And then she sat down and…” Adora shrugged. “I don’t know, I got kind of mad.”  
  
Catra was still looking at her, poker faced. Her pupils had dilated a little softly, but other than that, nothing. 

“Okay.” she said quietly. “I’m sorry too. I didn’t realize it was a… _family_ thing.”

Adora briefly wondered if she should take Glimmer’s advice and ask Catra to stop talking to Adyn. Before she could even _think_ about how that request would go down, Catra slid off of the bed, grabbing her mask and fixing it on her face, then gathering her uniform. 

“I… have to go to work. The doctor said you need to stay in bed.” She began to leave, then stopped midway through the room to ask her, “What happened? Why did you pass out?”

Adora contemplated what answer she should give. It’s not like she didn’t want to explain _why,_ but -

“I got scared.” 

\- she didn’t give more details, it was a long story. And Adora didn’t like talking about it. Catra shifted her weight onto her other leg, looking at her uniform. 

“...you were talking in your sleep, you know,” she revealed quietly, “and crying a little, too. But - you stopped when you grabbed onto me.”

Adora flushed in embarrassment. “I’m sorry. You didn’t have to stay -”

“No, it's fine, I didn’t…” she trailed off, refusing to look up at her. “It just… reminded me of my own childhood. Sometimes when I got sick, Lynda would stay by me and hold my hand so I wouldn’t feel scared.” 

Adora stared at Catra, shocked that she would confide in her with something as personal as that. 

“You get scared too?”

She looked up at Adora, and froze. “I used to.” Quiet. Her voice was weirdly quiet and soft. “I’ll go get breakfast sent up to you. You stay in bed.”

“I’m not hungry,” Adora called after her. Catra stopped and turned to her again, brows furrowed. 

“You haven’t eaten since lunch yesterday. You’re _going_ to have breakfast.”

Her voice changed to the kind she’d used to tell Grim off - it didn’t leave much room for argument. So Adora quietly ate everything that Gaea brought to her a few minutes after Catra had left, thinking.

Catra didn't accuse her of passing out the way she had the first time Adora got lightheaded in front of her. She seemed to believe her when Adora admitted she got scared and didn't prod her with more questions - even offered her own experience to, what? Bond?

Even if Glimmer wasn't right about the whole "falling in love part"... Catra did seem to care about her. The thought made her feel warm inside. It only took a month but sure enough, Catra was starting to actually like her.

***

_Glimmer_

Something clattered in her room. She turned and saw Catra’s leg sticking through her window, trying to find some place to put her foot.

“Why the fuck -” Glimmer ran to lock the room’s door, then went to help Catra come in. _“Why?”_

Catra smoothed her coat and mane, brushing aside the few things she’d knocked over with her foot. 

“Bow told me how to sneak into your room.”

“Bow - Okay." Glimmer stared at the fallen hairbrush and jewelry. “That doesn’t explain _why._ ”

Catra walked around her room, looking around. “You know, you said I was family.”

"Yeah."

"Adora said so, too."

_Did Adora mention what we talked about the other day?_

"Because... you are."

She stopped in front of the bed, crossing her arms and looking back at Glimmer. “So you won’t mind telling me exactly why Adora passed out in fear yesterday night?”

Glimmer felt the blood drain from her face. 

“I - I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she lied. Catra stared her down, though. 

"So you're telling me I should go ahead and ask Shadow Weave-"

"No! _Stars,_ no..." Glimmer sat down on her bed and motioned for her to sit, as well. Better someone that actually understands than... her.

“Adora’s had this fear in her heart… since Mara died,” Glimmer explained as Catra settled down next to her.

“It was raining the night they were attacked. And… I’m pretty sure she’s told me that there was a huge thunderstorm when they were trying to escape Eternia.” 

Adora didn’t talk about it a lot. She said she couldn’t remember, but sometimes she’d admit something quietly to her when no one else was around to hear. 

“She used to be so… lively and joyful. But after that night she’d jump at the slightest noise, she wouldn’t sleep at night. Ever since then, whenever it rains she… she thinks something terrible is going to happen to her. Adora always runs into whatever dark, safe space she can find and hides until someone finds her. And sometimes… if she doesn’t feel safe enough, she’ll just shut down.”

Glimmer took a deep breath. It hurt to remember. “She associats the rain with her own pain. She thinks everything is going to be taken away from her. She told me that she feels like her life is ending, because it almost _did_ that night. I thought… once she got out of here, she might feel safer with you, and she wouldn't… black out.” 

Catra moved for the first time since Glimmer began to speak. She brought her knees up to her chest and looked at the floor, almost guilty.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, Catra. I just… I was scared,” she admitted with a soft exhale. “Growing up, she’d always get mocked for it. People would say no one would want to be her girlfriend, let alone marry her, because she was… crazy.” 

Glimmer fisted her sheets, anger tearing through her at the memory of Shadow Weaver scolding Adora for hiding under the covers during a thunderstorm. “And… even if anyone did, they’d get sick of her. So we kept it a secret.”

Catra was quiet, thinking. 

“She’s not crazy.” she said after a while.

“I know that,” Glimmer protested, “But… I didn’t know if you would think that or not.”

“I understand.” Catra nodded, standing up. “I know someone who can help her. I don’t think she’s crazy. She’s just… hurt. Just because we can’t _see_ it doesn’t mean the injury doesn’t exist.” 

Glimmer stood up to face Catra. Her shock must have come across as grief, because Catra panicked.

“Wait - No. Don’t be sad,” Catra pleaded, as if she was talking to a child, “I’m here, right?”, she rested a hand on Glimmer’s shoulder. “I’ll get Adora the help she needs, I promise.”

Glimmer laughed, and pulled Catra into a hug, kissing her cheek.

Catra made a noise of complaint, but let Glimmer hug her. 

“Thank you.”

***

_Catra_

Catra sat down on the ledge of the fountain, thinking. 

“Katrina!” A voice shrieked. “What are you doing here?”

 _Oh stars._ Adyn approached her, smiling. They hadn't talked since the dinner. 

“Just, thinking.” Catra answered Adyn as she sat down next to her. _At least I was trying to._

“About what?”

“About…” Catra rubbed her forehead, feeling a headache coming on.

“About, Adora?” Adyn offered, sliding closer to her.

“...Yeah.” she felt like someone had placed a bunch of rocks in her head and started shaking her, she couldn’t gather her thoughts. 

“Do you… do you finally wanna talk about it?”

A beat of silence. _Maybe talking about it will help me get it off my chest._

“Yeah.”

***

“Oh, wow.” Adyn said.

“Yeah…” Catra flopped down on the edge of the fountain, tail thwacking against the wall. “I said it was complicated.”

Adyn whistled lowly, soaking in the information. “So… you were forced to marry a Horde soldier?”

Catra felt her stomach turn at her words. “Well, it wasn’t forced, and I don’t think she’s a soldier -”

“A spy, then.”

“No. Well, yeah, but no. I don’t think she is, but,” Catra sat up, sighing resignedly. “I just… I can’t stop thinking about it.”

Adyn was silent for a while after Catra was done speaking, and she started to worry.

Once she had started talking, she couldn’t stop herself, relishing in having her thoughts finally voiced. But now that everything was said and done, she was starting to regret having _Adyn_ be the person she’d told everything to. 

_Shit. Fuck,_ Catra thought as Adyn finally spoke up again. _Fuck me. Why did I tell her?_

"I'm glad you finally opened up, Katrina." _I'm not!_

Shit, shit, _shit._ If self-loathing was a competition, Catra would have won today. First finding out that Adora felt so scared in her own home that she _blacked out,_ and now she'd told this practical stranger who she didn't even _like_ the nature of their relationship just because the secret was making it hard to breathe.

Adyn didn't seem to notice Catra's regret, and she rested a comforting hand on her shoulder, and gave her a smile full of _pity_. “I guess you can’t really be sure of anything. Don’t focus too much on Adora, alright? Just forget about her. It'll make things easier for you both.”

The advice was… okay, sure. Catra wasn’t sure how it actually helped. How was staying _away_ from Adora supposed to help her?

It wouldn’t. Staying away from Adora made Catra’s heart clench. Even right now, she wished she was with her. 

_Has she eaten today...? She didn’t seem keen on it this morning._

“Hey, I think I’m gonna head home.” Adyn’s comforting look faded, but Catra didn’t want to stick around her anymore. She wanted to go check on Adora. “I’ll see you later. Thanks… thank you for listening.”

Adyn stood up, looking at her with a curious gaze. 

Catra meant it. Saying it out loud, hearing it said back - Catra wanted Adora, period. The way her gut twisted when Adyn accused Adora… it made her realize she didn’t feel that way anymore. At all. 

What she _really_ felt about Adora... was something that she couldn't say to anyone. Not while things were the way they _were_. 

“Any time, Katrina,” she said, softly smiling. Catra smiled back, kind and genuine as they parted ways.

_See? We can be friends._

_We_ have _to be friends, now. No going back now that I've given her all of this information._

One problem at a time. She'd have to be careful with her, now. Adyn was easy to talk to. _Too_ easy to talk to. Catra couldn't tell when she was being fake or honest with her. Unfortunately, Adyn was much harder to read than anyone Catra had ever met before. She was constantly changing her demeanor, at times showing Catra someone honest and good, friendly. And then - the way she'd run out of manor, or _touched_ her a little too softly or longer than Catra was used to from 'friends'. 

Who the fuck was she, why did Catra keep ending up seeing her _again_ and _again?_ Worst of all, how did Catra keep letting herself be taken in by the girl's false charm?

_One problem at a fucking time, Catra. Right now - Adora._

***

_Adyn_

Katrina gave her an adorable smile as she walked away.

Adyn turned back to look at her one last time, but she was gone. 

So fast?

For who? _Adora?_

She frowned to herself. No, no that wouldn’t do at all.

It was bad enough _she_ had interrupted them when Adyn was about to tell Catra she liked her. 

Even worse was finding out through her father’s connections that Catra had been _forced_ to marry her. 

_My poor, poor friend. Stuck in a marriage with someone like that…_ When she herself was such an amazing, honourable woman. Of course, her dear Katrina had gone ahead and gotten _close_ to Adora. And Adora had the _nerve_ to use it against her. 

No wonder she’d been acting so strange at dinner that night. Katrina had just told Adyn herself - Adora was _confusing_ her.

In her mind, Adora was this small, fragile thing, that needed _protection._ Adyn wanted to yell at her, tell Catra that she was being fooled - Adora was a _traitor_ and she needed to _stay away,_ lest she get too attached and be tricked by her.

Adyn clenched her hands, feeling her nails digging into her hand. She didn’t say anything because she was trying not to break Katrina’s heart. But now Catra was going home to, to do what? To help her? To help _Adora?_

Cyra, she understood. She was a small helpless child, and Katrina’s heart couldn’t bear to see her hurt. It made Adyn love her even harder. 

But Adora wasn’t worth Katrina’s time. How was she supposed to convince her of that!?

_I need to stop her. I need to stop Adora from messing with Katrina’s head._

***

_ Adora _

_Knock knock._

“Hey, Adora.”

Adora had remained in bed, just like Catra had told her to. 

“Hi, Catra.” she smiled over the book she was reading. “You’re back early,” she commented as Catra came to sit next to her, “Everything alright?”

She shrugged, examining the room. “I didn’t have a lot to do.” Catra took note of the breakfast tray Gygaea had brought to her. “You ate?”

Adora nodded.

“And have you really stayed in bed all day?” she teased, picking up Adora’s jacket, which was still left crumpled on her sheets. Adora puffed out a breath as she sat up in the bed. 

“You told me to.” Catra raised an eyebrow at her. 

“I meant, like, take it easy. I didn’t mean you had to _literally_ stay in bed.”

 _Ah._ Adora marked the spot she was on then closed the book, shuffling out of bed as Catra stood up to head out. 

“You… you can do whatever you want.” she announced softly, then left before Adora could even look at her in bewilderment. 

Was that - Did that mean what Adora thought it meant? Was it some sort of apology and confirmation? 

_Well…_ Adora started fixing the bed and changing into fresh clothes, pushing the thoughts away. 

_I… guess I can do what I want._

***

So Adora tried stretching her legs. She took a walk around the pond, played some soccer with Cyra - but then Gygaea came out and told her that the General wanted to remind her to take it _easy,_ which is when Adora remembered Catra could see them from the windows when she was in her study. 

Adora looked up and noticed Catra sitting with her back to the window, and smiled slightly before going back inside.

***

“Hey, Adora. Come with me.”

Adora followed her out silently, because why start making things difficult _now,_ all the way out to where the car was parked. 

“Um… where are we going?” Adora asked as they sat inside.

“We,” Catra sighed, turning on the car, “Are going to go meet with a therapist.”

Things were quiet for a while. It was a comfortable silence, though. The sun was beginning to set, and the light from the moons were slowly starting to cover the forest. Eventually, Adora was bothered enough to break the silence.

“Hey, Catra, can I ask you a question?”

“You just did.”

Adora rolled her eyes, looking back out the window. “Never mind, then.”

Catra glanced at her, amused. “What, Adora?”

“Well, first you have to promise me you won’t make fun of me.” 

Catra glanced at her again, smiling softly. “Depends on the question.”

“I’m not asking if you’re gonna be a jerk about it.”

Catra giggled while turning the car. “Fine, I _promise_ I’m not going to make fun of you. What is it?”

“Well…” Adora started toying with a loose strand of her jacket, “What’s a therapist?”

Catra didn’t laugh this time. She looked at Adora again, a little sadly. “You’ve never met with one?”

“No? I’ve heard of them but… I don’t know what they are.”

“Adora,” Catra properly looked at her as the car slowed down, “We’re going to meet with someone that’s going to help you talk about Mara.”

 _Oh, no, no no…_ Adora’s gut started twisting when she started thinking about Mara again. She didn’t want to talk about it. 

“Hopefully, she can help you with the whole passing out thing.”

Another doctor? Another person to tell her she was acting mad? She really didn’t want to meet with them, now.

“Can we go back?” Adora pleaded with Catra, but she shook her head. Adora sunk into her seat, waiting for the inevitable. 

***

_Catra_

She really did expect more resistance from Adora on the matter, but she’d given in quite easily, even if it _was_ the most miserable surrender she’d seen. 

When they went inside, Adora slowly moved through the building, heading towards the room Catra herself had gone to a couple times with Lynda. They waited outside for Perfuma to welcome Adora in, and the entire time Adora was fiddling with her jacket and looking like she was going to puke.

She could understand the nervousness. It was hard to talk about past events, especially if they still hurt so much. But until Adora spoke about it, started to confront those feelings, how could she get over it?

“So… the doctor is a friend of Scorpia’s. I’ve met her a couple times. She’s really nice.”

Adora nodded. 

“And… it’s gonna be a little weird. There’s a lot of smells, they’re meant to calm you down. If you don’t like them just tell her - she can get rid of the oils or the flowers or whatever it is that’s making you uncomfortable.”

Adora nodded again.

“You’re also gonna have to answer her questions about Mara as honestly and as specifically as you can, okay Adora?”

Adora made a small strangled noise, looking at Catra.

“Why?” she asked in a small, strained voice. 

“Adora… you’re not going to get better unless you get over it. And the only way to get over it is to get _through_ it.”

The door opened and Adora went inside, giving Catra one last pleading look before the room closed. She gave her a thumbs up and a soft smile, hoping that would help calm her down.

Catra could slightly overhear what Adora and Perfuma were talking about in the closed room. First it was just the regular chit chat, trying to ease Adora into a conversation. Catra zoned out for a while, not really paying attention.

_“What do you remember about your family?”_

_“Not much… to be honest, I don’t remember a lot about my childhood.”_

_“Okay, well, what do you remember?”_

_“Mara. She was… the only family I’d ever really had.”_

_“She was like your mother?”_

A little silence.

_“Yeah.”_

_“What do you remember about her?”_

_“...if she was still here, there’d be nothing wrong with me.”_

_“Wrong? Who says there’s something wrong with you?”_

More silence. _“Of course there’s something wrong with me. That’s why everyone keeps leaving… one by one, everyone goes… and I can’t stop them…”_

Catra consciously folded her ears down. She wasn’t sure she should be listening. She’d hate it if someone were eavesdropping when _she_ had come to talk. She tried zoning out again, but still, some words filtered through. 

_“...leaving. That’s how life goes… you have to move on. Focus… enjoy life. Feel the sun, the wind, the rain -”_

_“No!”_ Adora suddenly shrieked. Catra’s ears perked up. 

_“I hate the rain. It’s - it’s awful, it - it took everything away from me -”_

Catra decided to go sit a few seats down from the door to avoid overhearing any more.

***

About half an hour later, Perfuma opened the door and beckoned her over.

“Okay, I talked to her a little. You’re right, she does have some underlying trauma, as well as some abandonment issues, and I think she may have some self-sacrificial tendencies -”

“Okay, Perfuma,” Catra interrupted, “Get to the point.”

Perfuma coughed a little. “Right. Um. Well, she definitely needs some help. What else do you know about her?”

“I know she’s afraid of the rain,” Catra recalled, “Because it was raining when Mara died. And, also when she was running away from Eternia. And… one time she freaked out when she cut her finger.”

She hummed. “And I’m the first person she’s actually come to for help?”

“Princess Glimmer said they wanted to keep it a secret. She was hoping Adora would get better if she felt safer.”

Perfuma sighed, massaging her temple. “You can’t get over trauma by hiding it and ignoring it. Okay... There are a lot of things that factor into someone’s mental state. I think the main cause of Adora’s problems are her fears. They’re holding her back from enjoying life. So, we need to find the root of that fear and… ease her out of it.”

“But… she’ll get better?” 

Perfuma smiled at Catra, reassuring. “Of course she will. She has a lot to work through. I’ll set up a schedule for her right now to help but, Catra, Adora is in a very… fragile state right now,” she moved aside and pushed the door open, and Catra peeked inside.

Adora was sitting on one of those flowery floor pillows, her knees pulled to her chest. At some point she’d taken off her hair tie, and her hair was splayed down over her back, covering her face. 

“You’re going to have to be very patient and attentive with her until our next appointment, alright?”

Catra nodded, focused on Adora. She went and helped her up. Adora didn’t meet her eyes. 

“Ready to go home?” she quietly asked her. 

_Patient_ and _attentive._

She could do that. For Adora. 

Catra looked over at Adora, slightly falling asleep with her head resting against the car window, softly snoring, and remembered how her day had started with almost the same view.

_…Yeah, she’s worth it._

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> things just took a HUFE fucking change bc of this chapter my guys,,,,
> 
> do i still need to do a basic summary or is my writing getting more comprehensive???
> 
> mk im still gonna sort of explain what's going on w the characters bc like... emotions. also characters (catra) are being dumb:
> 
> -bc of glimmer's reasoning to her + catra's different way of treating adora now that she's sort of admitted to herself that adora is innocent and she LIKES her, adora starts feeling more comfortable being around catra  
> -catra accidentally spills to adyn in a moment of vulnerability - have you ever said something then realized you said it to the wrong person? yeah that. but she can't take it back.  
> -adyn pov is a thing now, yes. im sorry.  
> -anyways adyn is trying to come to catra as someone she can trust bc she's convinced that catra needs someone to save her from being tricked by adora  
> -catra and adora have an unspoken agreement that she understands that adora isnt a traitor. why unspoken, you ask? look at the chapter count. its going to get so much worse lmao


	9. ashk jo aankhon seh behta hai, yeh kahaan saath rehta hai?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ashk jo aankhon se behta hai... yeh kahaan saath rehta hai?
> 
> _the tears that fill up my eyes, why do they **stay** with me?_
> 
> ***  
> Adora's emotions are in a complete frenzy. Catra gets a little _too_ comfortable with someone - and it blows up in her face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was re-reading old parts to write this chapter and **wow** i hate my writing sm. anyways here's nearly 12000 words of nonsense, bc if i had to read it, so do you.
> 
> i honestly hope this chapter makes sense, if it doesnt please PLEAse tell me bc at this point its really important that the characters and their individual stories/POV's are making sense.

_Catra_

_Patient_ and _attentive._

 _Patience_ , while not coming naturally to her, wasn’t a problem when it came to Adora - she did everything immediately without question and without mistakes, which was honestly more than her officers did. The princess didn’t cause any trouble at all, never doing anything that might risk disturbing her. 

It wasn’t a very good thing, if she thought about it. Catra wondered if Adora’s behaviour was because of Shadow Weaver, or a side-effect of those self-sacrificial tendencies that she had, but left it to Perfuma to figure it out with her. 

From Catra’s side, it’s more about being patient with Adora’s emotions, which, she’s not the best at but - she could do it. 

_Attentiveness_ was more of an issue. 

They’d only actually started _talking_ to each other about a week ago. Before that, Catra actively tried to stay away from Adora. And when they _were_ together, she was intent on keeping a distance. Even once Catra had resolved to be a little more friendly towards Adora, there was that unspoken tension between them. Like, if either of them stepped out of place, there would be consequences. 

More for Adora than for Catra. Adora didn’t trust her. She only saw her as a cold woman who didn’t much care for her. Because that’s exactly what Catra had been _trying_ to be.

So the first step was to change that. Easy, right?

***

Not so easy. She didn’t know where to even _begin,_ until it hit her. 

Catra stayed late at home that morning, mostly by accident but she would be lying if she said she was in a rush to get to the army base. While walking across the front yard, the soccer ball that hit her bounced off her head and landed in front of her. Catra stopped it with her foot and reached up to readjust her mask, then looked up to see Adora staring at her wide-eyed. 

Cyra ran up behind her, tail wagging excitedly when she saw Catra. She got into a stance to prepare for Catra to kick it back to her. 

Catra raised an eyebrow at Adora, rolling the ball back and forth.

“Here, Cyra -” Catra wound up her leg and shot the ball back into the garden, watching as Cyra followed the ball with her eyes then dropped to her fours and bounded after it once it landed. 

Adora fidgeted awkwardly in front of Catra. She couldn’t help but stare, an idea popping into her head as Cyra ran away. She approached her smugly, waiting for Adora to notice and glance up at her. “You like soccer, huh?”

Adora was still staring at her wide-eyed. “I’m not really good at - I'm sorry if I hurt you.”

Catra laughed at her abashed look. “Do you think a _soccer ball_ is enough to hurt me? Come on, Princess.”

Catra followed Cyra into the garden. She could feel Adora’s eyes on her. As soon as the soccer ball was rolling across the grass to her, Catra kicked it into the air and balanced it on her knee, bouncing it back and forth before passing it back to Adora - who caught it with her hands.

Catra and Cyra gasped scandalously, and Adora dropped the ball in surprise.

“You can’t use your _hands_!” Cyra lectured, glaring at Adora. “That’s a fool!”

Adora grinned at the petulant child. “Do you mean a _foul?”_

“See? You admitted it yourself! Now you have to…” Cyra tapped her foot, thinking, and then bounded up to Catra and jumped on her back. “Now you have to battle us!”

“What? Those aren’t the rules,” Adora protested. Catra adjusted Cyra so she was sitting on her shoulders. 

“The rules of soccer are whatever Cyra wants them to be,” Catra announced, giving her a triumphant look. “Me and Cyra, versus you - and then we switch teams. What? Scared you’ll lose, Princess?”

Adora fixed her with a challenging grin. “Not at all. You’re on.”

***

Catra ended up just not going to work that day. Her officers could handle one day without her management. They didn’t need her, her family did. 

And just like that, Catra figured out a way to start _something._ Use Cyra as a buffer between them, Adora was clearly more comfortable with her, anyways. A part of Catra hoped she hadn’t gotten _too_ attached to the young kit. Catra wasn’t sure how well Adora would react once she found out Cyra wasn’t actually her daughter. 

Speaking of _not actually_ her daughter, about two dozen or so more reports of missing children had come in that Catra needed to go over. At this point, she wasn't sure what her real job even was, anymore.

***

_Adora_

Things were going well in her life for a while. 

Of course something was bound to happen.

“Queen Ash?” Adora asked, surprised to see her. It had been so long, and Adora had picked up on the slight tension between Catra and her family in the Fright Zone. They didn’t get along, so why bother visiting?

“Just _Ash,_ sweetheart.” Ash smiled warmly at her. “When it’s just us, at least.”

Adora nodded, taking a seat across from her. “What are you doing here? You know, Catra’s not ho-”

Ash raised a hand to interrupt her. “I know. Listen, Adora…” she shifted nervously in her seat, quickly glancing around to see if they were alone. “I’m here because I have to ask… are you and Catra okay?”

The question took Adora by surprise. When Bow asked, he asked it out of genuine curiosity. When Glimmer asked, she asked gleefully, fully expecting the answer to be _yes._

But Ash was asking her almost… determinedly. Tensely. Like she expected Adora to break down.

She’d never seen the Queen like this before. Adora didn’t like it. 

“Of course we are,” she smiled brightly, trying to off-put the mood Ash had created, “Why are you asking?”

Ash seemed surprised to hear that. Her eyes narrowed at Adora, and she rested a pincer on her shoulder. 

“You don’t have to _lie,_ sweetheart,” she cooed, trying to coax _something_ out of Adora. Ash pulled her into a side hug, gazing down at her intensely. “If Catra has _ever_ hurt you, **you need to tell me** _.”_

Adora stiffened at the sudden change of tone in Ash’s voice. 

“No. She hasn’t.” Adora remained still as Ash let her go… disappointed? 

“Adora… I’m sorry to have asked in that manner,” Ash half-apologized, not sounding very sincere. Adora began to wish Scorpia had come with her. “But the search for Entrapta is getting more and more futile… and I need to make _sure_ Catra had no part in it.”

Adora’s blood ran cold. “Princess Entrapta?” 

The Rebellion’s favourite engineer that had gone missing a couple months ago? 

“What does she have to do with Catra?”

Ash raised an eyebrow at her, and smirked. It was quick and she hid it with a grimace, but Adora caught it, heart beating quicker.

“You don’t know?” she feigned shock. “I’d have assumed someone told you… well. The night she went missing, Catra was the last one to see her...” 

Adora took a heavy breath. So what?

“...and well, Catra had never taken a liking to Entrapta…”

That was fine. That didn’t mean anything. Catra didn’t exactly take a liking to _everyone,_ she even glared at her guards. 

“...they always had a rocky relationship, there’d been quite a few mishaps between them in the past, and Catra - well, I’m sure you know, but she’s always had a tendency to _lash out_ . It was worse when she was a child, clawing and biting at anyone who displeased her. I still remember the servant’s _screams…_ ”

_No, no no. That can’t be._

“What are you saying?” Adora asked shakily.

Ash looked at her trembling form with genuine sympathy. “I’m very sorry, Adora. It pains my heart when I think about how you have to spend the rest of your life with someone like _her.”_

Someone like _her._ A what? A _murderer_? 

“No.” she refused, feeling the tremors in her voice. “That… that can’t be right. Catra couldn’t have done something like that.”

_Not her. Please, not her._

Ash looked at her pitifully. “Adora, I’m sorry, but you _need_ to know. Catra doesn’t live in the Fright Zone with us because of Entrapta’s _disappearance._ We would have arrested her if it weren’t for Lynda’s attachment, or else she’d currently be in our dungeons, being questioned about the princess’s loss, and even possible… death.”

Adora felt a sudden dread creeping in her chest. Was Catra capable of that? Is _that_ what had happened to Cyra’s other mother? All she knew about Catra’s former partner was that Cyra had been _taken_ from her… 

“So I’m going to ask you one more time: if Catra has ever hurt you, or if in the future she _does_ hurt you… **you need to tell me.”**

Something in Ash’s voice threw Adora off, again. 

It was almost like Ash _wanted_ Catra to have done something. 

Ash left, and doubt started to creep into Adora’s mind. 

Why would she wait so long into their marriage to reveal something like this? It was clear that Ash didn’t like Catra. Maybe she was just trying to stew some fight between them to make Catra unhappy. 

Maybe Ash was lying. If Catra was a _murderer_ , wouldn’t she have killed Adora and been done with it a _long_ time ago? If _not liking_ someone was enough of a reason for Catra to kill, then it should’ve been easy for her to kill Adora the _second_ she met her thinking she was a Horde soldier. 

_It doesn’t line up,_ Adora reasoned with herself, _Ash is probably lying. The way she was talking about Catra… it was weird. It’s not true._

It still didn’t leave the back of her mind.

***

“Princess?”

Adora quit chewing her lip and gave Gygaea her attention. “Yeah?”

“I was about to order food to be brought to the manor, before heading home.” Gygaea told her. She _did_ look quite tired, it was no surprise she didn’t have the energy to make homemade meals every day. Ordering something to be made from a kitchen outside, or even just delivered from a restaurant was more of a daily occurrence in the manor than Adora had expected. 

“I was wondering if there was anything in particular you’d like to eat.”

Adora pondered it for a minute. Everything seemed very appetizing to her, to be honest. She didn’t have a specific craving for anything. 

“I don’t really have a preference… uh,” Adora remembered the place her and Cyra had stopped for dinner when Catra had taken them out that day. “There’s a place Cyra and Catra like, it’s by the park… I think it’s something with chips? Can we get those?”

Gygaea smiled at her. “Parkdale Fish and Chips?” she laughed, running a hand through her graying hair. 

(Adora wondered why Catra hadn’t hired someone else to manage the manor, yet. Gaea was perfectly capable of retiring by now. Was it just about the familiarity?)

“Those were _always_ General Catra’s favourites. When she was a kit, I’d find her sneaking bits of leftover fish to her room.”

Adora mulled over what Gaea had told her. “Gaea…” she said, “How long _have_ you known Catra?”

Gaea sighed, taking a seat next to Adora. “Since Queen Lynda brought her to the castle.”

“Brought her?” Adora asked, surprised. It was obvious Catra wasn’t biologically related to them, but she didn’t know the full story.

Gaea nodded sadly. “I’m sorry, I thought she would have spoken to you about it already. Queen Lynda rescued her from a Horde camp where they were training _children_ to be soldiers. She brought her to the Fright Zone Castle, and announced that from that day on, _Princess Katrina_ was her daughter and was to be given the same respect Princess Scorpia had.”

Adora felt her heart squeeze at the thought of children - of _Catra_ \- being forced to learn how to be a soldier when she was just Cyra’s age. 

No wonder she was trying so hard to get rid of the Horde. No wonder she’d been so mad when she saw Adora that day in the army base. Adora would be too if she was confronted with the thing that took her childhood away from her.

But taking her anger out never made her feel _better_. She couldn’t imagine it would do the same for Catra, either.

Adora looked up at Gaea and noticed a certain sorrow stretched across her features. 

“Um… was she?” Gaea was snapped out of whatever she was thinking about and looked at Adora. “Was she given respect?”

Gaea grimaced, upset. She shook her head. “Things were… very rough. You have to understand, Catra had been raised in such a cruel environment, it took her a while to… adjust,” Gaea sighed. “She would _bite_ , whether it was with her words or with her fangs.” she gave a slight smile with that. 

“There were quite few people who attempted to show her kindness, even fewer that Catra would respond to. Me, one of them. One time, she heard someone scold me, and she nearly ripped their eye out - I stopped her, of course,” she laughed, as if the memory was a joyful one instead of a violent one. “It took a while to teach Catra that violence was not an ideal solution. At least, not outside of the Horde. But she learned. And she grew out of it.

“As intimidating she tried to be, I could see the scared child beneath it, and tried to give her as much love as she could handle at the time. We became quite close after that incident.”

Adora smiled at Gaea, who was now reminiscing good memories. 

“Princess Scorpia was ecstatic to play with her. I think she had a bit of a crush on her, and it did make their relationship a little awkward… but once they worked through it, they became very close friends. Queen Lynda was overjoyed to see it.”

Of course she’d be, her daughters’ were bonding. But...

“And Queen Ash? What did she think?”

Gaea laughed still, but this time with dejection. “You think there’s something off between them, don’t you?” she asked, tilting her head knowingly at her. 

Adora fiddled with her jacket’s loose string and looked away, flushed. 

“Well, you’d be right. Queen Ash never took a liking to her. She - well, in her eyes, Princess Katrina was a problem child that was dragging _her_ daughter down with her.”

Adora let go of the jacket string. She was right. Ash obviously didn’t like Catra. If she thought Catra fucked up her own daughter, she’d have a reason to want to screw her life up by telling Adora lies to mess with their relationship. There was one way to be sure, though. 

Gaea began to take her leave, and Adora called out to her before she exited. 

“Gaea, what do you know about Catra and Entrapta?”

Gaea stopped and turned to Adora at the mention of Entrapta, a pensive look on her face. Adora felt her heart drop. So something _did_ happen between the two.

“All I can tell you, Adora, is that the Catra _I_ had a hand in raising would never be capable of harming someone. I don’t know what Queen Ash told you, but Catra had _nothing_ to do with her disappearance.” 

Gaea left Adora to think about that. It was the first time Gaea had referred to her as _just_ Adora. She had a feeling it was on purpose. 

The Catra that _she_ had raised. Adora understood it, now. Why Catra kept her. Why she _stayed_. 

And with how close Gaea was to Catra… was it possible that even _she_ didn’t see the truth about Catra? Because Catra seemed all too happy threatening to _harm_ Adora just a few days after their wedding. Or was Catra the one that was lying, _pretending_ to be a monster? 

Why was it so hard to find out what kind of person her wife truly was? When she herself barely revealed anything about her personal life, and everyone around her seemed to have a biased opinion?

Why was everything so _fucking_ complicated?

If Adora _believed_ the horrible things she was told, without giving Catra a chance to explain herself, that made her no better than Catra. 

But, _God,_ if it _was_ true, then… would Catra do that to _her?_ Make her disappear? Get rid of her the same way she did - _No, no… stars what do I do? Every time I feel like things in my life are getting better, someone snatches the rug out from under me… why? Why does this keep happening to me?_

_Why don’t I deserve peace?_

***

_Catra_

She picked Adyn up near the park.

“So,” the girl climbed in eagerly. “What’s up?”

Catra sighed and pulled off towards Adyn’s house. “I was just heading home when you called.”

Adyn groaned. “Come on, Katrina, don’t you do _anything_ fun? You know what. Screw home. Let’s go take a trip to the lake.”

Catra gave her a side-glance, laughing. “I’m sorry, but I don’t have the same _flexible_ schedule and freedom as you do. In fact, I wasn’t even going to come pick you up until you said it was an emergency,” she looked at Adyn’s leg, which she claimed to have hurt while jogging but it seemed _fine_ now, “I have to take Ado -” _Shit._ “ - um, the family somewhere.”

Adyn went from eager to displeased. “Somewhere?” she said flatly. “Like where?”

Catra gritted her teeth in anger for letting it slip. “Nowhere, really.”

“So you’ll have no problem taking _me_ to the lake, then?”

“Adyn. Didn’t you hurt your leg?”

“I didn’t _hurt_ them, they’re just _so sore_ ,” she rubbed her thighs, “Here, feel them.”

Catra kept her hands on the wheel, glancing at her with dismissal. “I’m sort of driving right now? Unless you _want_ to die.”

Adyn leaned up and caught Catra’s eye. “This wouldn’t be the worst way to go.”

Catra squinted at her. “What?”

Adyn leaned back. “Nothing,” she said nonchalantly. “Anyways, the water will be _great_ for my sore legs,” she continued abrasively, “Don’t you think that’s a little more important than your fake-date night with a criminal?” 

Catra actually braked out of surprise in her choice of words. 

“What, cat got your tongue?” she teased. “Looks like you’ve given the traitor a place in your home, after all.”

Catra sighed and turned to Adyn, who was rolling her eyes at her. It irked her off. “Adora’s not - I’m not - !” Catra huffed and stressfully gripped the wheel of the car. “Ugh, if you _must_ know, I need to take her to the doctor.”

Adyn raised an eyebrow at her, challenging. “The _doctor?_ For what?”

Catra didn’t answer, cursing herself. Keeping secrets was really getting on her last nerve. If only there was literally _anyone else_ \- Bow was the only other person who knew _half_ of what was going on, and he was about to fuck off to Brotheria, and Scorpia… Scorpia still wasn’t talking to her. 

Catra glanced at her again. Adyn was quiet, watching her, listening patiently, and an idea came to Catra.

“Adora’s - I don’t know,” she sagged against the seat, pulling over then turning off the engine. “She’s - she’s scared of the rain.”

“The rain.” Adyn crossed her arms.

“Yeah.” _And so much more._ “But I want to help her get over it. Thing is, she doesn’t really talk to me that much.” _Which… I’m working on it._ “But with Cyra, Gygaea, even _Bow,_ she’s always so open.”

“So? Why do _you_ care so much?” Adyn asked bluntly. “Maybe she just doesn’t like you.”

Catra narrowed her eyes at her, then looked back at her hands - her _claws._ Adyn was half-right, and Catra shouldn’t care that much about whether Adora liked her or not - the point was that _Catra_ liked _her,_ and she wanted to see her get better. 

“Look, it doesn’t matter. I just wanted to ask if _you_ could try talking to her?” 

Adyn uncrossed her arms, eyes widening in surprise. “Me?”

“Yeah. You’re… easy to talk to,” Catra admitted to her, remembering how easily she had spilled everything, not even thinking twice about what was coming out of her mouth. Was it just Adyn’s nature, or did _Catra_ keep fucking up for some reason? 

“And I keep telling you all this stuff, don’t I? So I was hoping, maybe you could try doing the same with Adora? Hang out with her, become her friend. I think having someone to talk to might help her.” 

Adyn examined Catra with those leering eyes again, slowly reaching a conclusion in her own mind.

_And maybe if you spend time with her, too, you’ll understand that she’s not as bad as you - as I thought she was._

“Of course I will, Katrina.”

Catra internally grinned. “Thanks,” she said, starting the car again.

“Do you think I’d let a chance like this go?” Adyn murmured.

“Sorry?” 

Adyn smiled at her again, mischievously, the way DT did when they were telling Catra their plan. “The chance to make a new friend.”

Catra nodded, then focused on speeding the car up enough to drop her off as quickly as possible so Catra could get to Adora in time. 

***

She couldn’t help but feel like she’d done something wrong and now the universe was punishing her.

“Um, hello?” Catra asked, annoyed. “Can I help you?”

Hordak, standing in the foyer of her manor, turned to her with his red sunken eyes that were blatant with animosity, but didn’t say anything. Catra rolled her eyes and glanced out the door behind her, searching. “ _Seriously,_ what is the point of having guards if they don’t keep _scum_ like you out?”

Hordak gritted his teeth, approaching her. 

“What do you want?” she asked, indifferent to his threatening demeanor. She could - she _had_ taken him before.

“Entrapta.”

“Well, she’s not here.” She snorted. “I can tell you that.”

“She’s been missing for weeks,” he said, like Catra didn’t _know_ that, “and I know what you did.”

“You _do?”_ Catra smirked at him, amused. “Tell me, what did I do, exactly?”

Hordak growled, _literally_ growled.

Catra wasn’t sure _what_ he was, just that he was some sort of Horde experiment gone wrong. So terribly wrong that he betrayed them and tried to join the Rebellion, choosing to work as Entrapta’s assistant, seeing as he was the only one who could understand her. 

“You were the one that rid me of her, the one that made her disappear because she refused to help you make weapons!”

“I am _not_ going through this with you.” Catra sighed, bothered that _Hordak_ of all people was here accusing her, again. 

Sure, Catra had a disagreement on what Entrapta should be focused on building, but it was resolved (more or less) within the hour. The only thing Catra knew about Entrapta was that she didn’t want to be involved with the war anymore. Where she went, what she was doing now - she didn’t know and she didn’t care to find out, not after the way Entrapta had left her to fend for herself after using Catra as a scapegoat.

“What do you want from me?”

“I want Entrapta.”

“ _Oh?_ Do you, now?”

Hordak stilled, like he didn’t mean to say that. 

“Why?”

He didn’t answer. Catra grinned wickedly at him.

“You _want_ her, huh, Hordak? Hey, why _are_ you so desperate to find her?” Catra circled him, feeling the inner turmoil over whether he should say something or not pouring off of him. “She was just your boss, after all.” 

“Our relationship is _none of your_ -”

Catra laughed from her spot behind him. “ _Relationship_ , is that what we’re calling it now?”

Hordak turned around to face her, mouth pressed in a thin line.

“Get out of here, Hordak,” Catra waved her hand, gesturing towards the door. “You’re only here because you’re running out of reasons she may have left. But I don’t have any answers for you. Leave.”

“You think just because you’re a high General that no one can stand against you?” Hordak roared, angry at Catra’s clear indifference to him. “Well, _I_ will. I won’t stop until I find what you’ve done with her.” 

Hordak started to approach her again. “I will tear all of Etheria apart if I have to,” he promised. Catra raised an eyebrow at him and stepped back from him. 

“ _Great._ You do that. While you’re at it, you think you can look for my missing guards, too?”

Hordak was about two seconds away from lunging at her, when he was finally grabbed and pulled back. 

“Oh, never mind, there they are.” 

Hordak growled again as the guards that she had signaled escorted him out. 

“ _Bye,_ Hordak,” Catra waved, smirking. 

The smirk faded when she turned back inside and saw Adora standing in the entrance of the hallway, watching her and the growling man being dragged out in horror. 

“Hey, Adora,” Catra started, but before she could continue, Adora turned and darted away.

“Hey, wait!” Catra followed her and called out, making Adora stop and face her. Adora was still looking at her with mild alarm, which caused Catra to falter. She didn’t want Adora to be _afraid_ of her. “I - what he said. It’s not true.”

Adora’s alarm disappeared, replaced with a fierce glare. “So? Why are you telling _me_?”

“Because I don’t want you to think that I did that.”

Adora crossed her arms, glare constant. “I can think whatever I want. Whether I believe what that guy said or not, what difference does it make to you?”

Catra’s ears went down, and she tried to subtly look away from Adora, feeling strangely timid under her glare. 

“It does make a difference to me,” Catra said, “I don’t want you to have the wrong impression of me.”

“Why not?”

“So…” Catra scrambled, not expecting to have to explain herself. “You don’t make any wrong assumptions about me.”

Adora’s face twitched, then she started smiling, then laughing. All without any humour.

“Wrong assumptions?” she asked, laughter fading into a stinging tone, “So what? You’re just trying to clean up the image of yourself in my mind?”

Catra felt an internal wince, then locked eyes with Adora again. “I’m not trying to _clean_ anything,” she defended, “I’m just telling you the truth.”

“Do you have any proof?” She interjected, voice cold enough to freeze Catra in place. “Do you have any evidence to prove you’re telling the truth? Because so far, it sounds to me like you’re guilty.”

Catra let out a breath. “No,” she said in a strangled voice, feeling like Adora had just punched her in the stomach, “but - I’m telling the truth. I didn’t do anything.”

“Oh, really?” Adora said, bleakly watching Catra try to defend herself. “And if you held _me_ to the same standards as you do yourself? Would you finally believe me? Accept me as your wife?”

Catra stopped, letting Adora speak.

“No, right?” she affirmed. “So why should I believe _you_ when you didn’t believe me?”

Catra felt herself shrink away from Adora’s gaze once again.

“You’ve been treating me like a _prisoner_ in this place,” Adora continued, apparent weeks of a storm brewing finally hitting her, “So that when the time comes, you can have me used as a _tool_ in your plans. Because you don’t trust me. So if _you_ can’t trust me on _my_ word, don’t hold out any hope that I’m going to trust _you_ on _yours_.”

She began to stalk away, when Catra finally moved to try saying something, but her throat felt like it was filled with cotton. She didn’t follow her, feeling glued to her spot.

***

They were alone together again in the kitchen when they happened to arrive for a snack at the same time. 

Adora was absentmindedly stirring a cup of tea while Catra cut up a sandwich. 

“So… What kind of tea is that?” Catra asked.

Adora blinked at the box of tea bags on the counter, letting Catra figure it out herself.

It was like trying to have a conversation with someone completely indifferent and uncaring -Catra realized it was like trying to have a conversation with _herself_ when Adora was talking to her. 

“Why won’t you talk to me?” Catra tried, hoping she could get Adora to at _least_ say something. Even if it was just to yell at her. Catra couldn’t stand the quiet anymore.

“It’s not necessary for there to be a reply to everything,” Adora answered, still staring blankly at the wall as if she was reciting something from memory. 

“That’s… true, but, you have to have an answer in order to have a conversation.”

Adora dropped her spoon and looked at Catra. “Why? Up until a few days ago, you’ve never wanted to _talk_. Ever. All you did was assume whatever you wanted and then give me my sentence.” 

Catra shook her head at Adora, and set down the butterknife, confused. “What sentence?” 

“Is having to live here any less than a prison sentence?” Adora said, bitterly. 

“Oh.” Catra looked back down and picked up the butterknife, hiding how Adora’s revelation had felt like she had dug the blunt knife in her chest. “Well… at least you finally said something, even if it took this long to get to the point.”

Adora went back to her tea. Catra breathed, in and out, wondering if she should say the other thing on her mind. Not saying it would keep matters from getting more complicated between the two, saying it might - might take things a bit further. 

“I was starting to think,” Catra said carefully, waiting for Adora to start paying attention to her again, “you might actually like it here, like Cyra… and…”

Catra stopped, much to the dismay of Adora’s curious look. Why risk saying anything that implicated her like that? It was too soon, too fast, and especially if Adora hated her, it was too uncomfortable to say.

“And?” Adora inquired. Catra looked back up at her, seeing her inquisitive eyes, suddenly interested in what Catra had to say.

“And… you just said there doesn’t have to be an answer for everything.”

Adora sighed in annoyance. “But if there _was_ an answer, what would it be?”

_That you might’ve started to like me._

“That you ask a lot of questions.” Catra answered.

Adora scoffed, standing up and abandoning her tea. “So now I’m not allowed to ask questions. Will you please tell me everything I can and can’t do so you can avoid having to make _another_ person _‘disappear’_?”

She stormed out before Catra could answer, so Catra got up and followed her.

“Adora,” she called out. Adora stopped halfway down the hall and turned back angrily at her name.

Catra swallowed the cotton in her throat, pushing everything away so she could just be completely honest for even _just a second_ . So Adora knew she wasn’t just _saying_ it, that she meant it when she said -

“I’m sorry, Adora.”

***

_Adora_

She went from complete apprehension to bewilderment, examining Catra for any sign that she was messing with her. She couldn’t find any.

“For what?” Adora prodded. 

“For… everything that’s happened,” Catra confessed, hugging her chest in a way that was familiar to Adora - a way where she wanted to physically keep herself from falling apart on the inside.

“It shouldn’t have been like that. _I_ shouldn’t have been like that. I haven’t been very fair to you,” Catra was clearly having trouble trying to apologize for what had happened, her face flushing in embarrassment, “and I’m really… _ashamed_ of what I did. And said. I’m sorry, for everything.”

Adora watched her for a second, nodding. Catra was hunched over slightly, refusing to look Adora in the eye, with her arms hugging herself and her legs pressed together, tail wrapped loosely around herself, waiting for an answer.

She’d never seen Catra like this, but the pose seemed oddly familiar to her. It was the way kids would stand after they’d done something wrong. Clearly feeling guilty, not sure if they were going to be berated or forgiven, but prepared for a punishment. 

It was the way Adora would stand in front of Shadow Weaver when _she’d_ tried to apologize.

_Etheria to Adora? Catra’s standing in front of you, clearly remorseful and even a little... heartbroken._

Adora let all of her anger and resentment towards Catra rise, and then… 

_…What would Shadow Weaver do?_

Now, it made sense to Adora as to _why_ Shadow Weaver would lose control and lash out at her for mistakes.

It might feel freeing if she yelled, screamed, even _fought_ with Catra, for all the pain she caused, all the stress and trouble she’d given to her.

Adora could understand Shadow Weaver’s actions, but… she couldn’t really find any reason to justify them.

One time, when she was growing up, Adora knocked over Mara’s training sword and nearly took down every standing piece of furniture in their small house. She wasn’t old enough to know _why_ it was a problem, just old enough to know that Mara was very clearly upset when everything had fallen, but she didn’t yell at or _hurt_ Adora. Never. After a while of awkwardly trying to help clean up as best as her little hands could, Adora stammered out a soft apology, and Mara kissed her forehead and said it was okay. She was upset, but she wasn't anymore, so Adora didn't have to be sorry. 

In her mind, Shadow Weaver was wrong, and Mara was always right. 

So if Catra was finally outright acknowledging and apologizing for what had happened…

“...it’s okay.” Adora replied gently after a while, smiling when Catra finally perked up in surprise.

“Sure?” Catra asked disbelievingly, straightening up. 

“Yeah, it's okay.” Adora gave her a reassuring smile.

“I was horrible.”

“I forgive you.”

Catra was quiet, accepting what she was hearing was true, and they both relaxed in each other’s presence, soaking up the relief. Adora remembered something that had been bothering her for a while, but she hadn’t had the opportunity to talk about it. “I… actually needed to ask you for something."

“Anything,” Catra said quickly, then blushed. “I mean, anything you want. It’s the least I could do after… everything. What do you need?”

Adora took a second to let the words sink in, before looking back at Catra.

“Cyra’s been acting weird. She doesn’t eat or play much, or even talk properly. If you… if you can please try talking to her, maybe she’ll feel better.”

Catra stood in front of her, wordlessly looking at Adora.

“Yeah, I can do that for you...” she breathed, finally speaking. “Um, I’ll go and talk to her, and then… we had to go see Perfuma, and we’re already really late, so… if you still want to go, we can, but you can call her tomorrow.”

Adora nodded, smiling, then turned on her heel and left. She felt like she was walking on air with the amount of relief she was feeling. A part of her even wanted to go back, back to Catra… could she make some excuse to be with her while she was talking to Cyra?

 _That’s stupid,_ Adora chided herself. _It’s been barely a second since you saw her. Leave her and her daughter alone._

Adora sunk against her bed, letting out a happy sigh. Then she turned in her bed and screamed into the pillow.

What was wrong with her? 

Catra drove her completely _crazy._ First by refusing to believe her, then all of a sudden starting to mess with her, and _then_ Ash had gotten in her head with the whole Entrapta thing… but Adora did doubt that there was any truth to what Ash claimed she had done.

And _Catra -_ Catra had even apologized and admitted that she was _wrong,_ which meant she _believed_ her, which meant what _Glimmer_ said might be true. Maybe.

Glimmer had been wrong before.

But why did Adora - why did she feel so _frustrated_ but also _not?_

_Oh fuck._

Adora shot straight up in bed.

_No no no no no no no._

> _“‘It’s the person that will make you feel like screaming at the top of your lungs, but also make you feel like you’re floating in happiness. Do you understand?’_ _‘No. I’ll get it when I’m older, I guess.’”_

_Nope. Nope. Absolutely not._

Adora got up and started pacing the room.

_I - I don’t - no way._

Adora tried convincing herself she was wrong.

_I haven’t known her that long… wait, how long has it been?_

_Okay, you don’t even know her that well, though… okay, maybe you sort of do, but it’s just because you live together._

_Oh stars we_ live _together._

_No! Adora! You’re letting your imagination get the best of you! You are NOT falling in love with Catra! An hour ago you two literally hated each other -_

_Did we, though?_

Did they _ever_ really hate each other? 

Because, their wedding night, sure, they were both furious with each other. But that wasn’t the first time they’d met. They’d known each other before, even _liked_ each other before… 

And her and Catra hadn’t had that much animosity between them for a while, now, before today. There was the trip to the bookstore, the soccer match they’d had with Cyra a few days ago, that time Catra proved she knew how to work a stove - and their dance at the engagement party.

She felt like kicking herself. _Maybe_ Catra had been flirting with her. 

But then Adora just had to go and fall in love, didn’t she? Because nothing could ever be easy. Was Catra, too? Because someone could flirt with anyone, regardless of stupid, sappy emotions like _love_ being involved.

Dimly, Adora remembered a certain blue-eyed, red-haired woman that seemed _very_ comfortable with Catra. At the same time, she remembered that Glimmer had informed her that if Adora simply _asked,_ Catra would stop meeting with Adyn, because she liked Adora. 

_That’s it,_ Adora thought, _that’s how I’ll know for sure. It’s like a… a test! To see if Catra actually has feelings for me._

In her opinion, it was a foolproof plan. Adora would ask something sort of silly but serious, something only someone’s partner could ask of them, for her wife to stop meeting with a certain person because Adora was sure that Adyn had bad intentions. If Catra liked her _like that,_ she’d agree. 

_It’s a good plan, right?_

***

_Catra_

The amount of relief Catra was feeling would never feel better than anything, she was sure of it.

Honestly, a part of her expected Adora to punch her in the face, push her aside and tell her to _fuck off._ It’s what Catra would’ve done. But of course she didn’t. There was an opportunity for Adora to be selfish, and she pushed it away and took the higher road. 

It made Catra wonder, was she really forgiven? Had she actually done something to deserve it, or was she just taking advantage of Adora’s better nature - _oh, the irony._

Catra stood outside of Cyra’s room.

_Okay, screw it. I don’t care if I deserve her forgiveness or not. I’m going to earn it. I won’t stop until I’m sure I’ve done enough to make up for it._

She could probably start by doing the one thing Adora had ever asked of her, so she entered Cyra’s room.

“Hey, Kid. What’s up?”

***

Catra was inside of Perfuma’s office - uh, was office the right word? It looked more like a daycare center. Adora was outside, coloring. Coloring. It calmed the mind, apparently. They both shot each other a look when Perfuma handed her the pencils and a sheet of paper.

So. A daycare center.

“How is she?”

Perfuma cleared her throat and sat down across from her on the other flower cushion. “She’s… good. Present.”

Catra nodded, unsure if that was progress or not. “And?”

Perfuma leaned forward to look outside, making sure they were alone. “Well… she’s very… stressed.” 

Catra blinked, surprised. “Stressed?”

Adora seemed fine that evening, after Catra had apologized to her. She hadn’t said anything on their way here, but Catra had figured it was a comfortable silence compared to the rest of their times alone together.

“She doesn’t let it on, you know,” Perfuma said, a little sadly, “Adora puts on a brave face for the rest of the world, but I can tell on the inside, she’s… scared.”

Catra remembered what Glimmer told her all those weeks ago, that Adora was not the best at being vulnerable. That she never wanted anyone to have to be there for her. 

“I get it,” Catra said, “She’s scared but she doesn’t want anyone to know, because she has to be strong to protect herself.”

Perfuma knitted her eyebrows at Catra’s statement. “Not exactly. What you’re saying makes it sound like Adora is trying to defend herself, but that’s the thing - she’s not. Adora doesn’t try to protect herself. She just tries to be perfect, because that’s what she thinks she’s supposed to do. And if she fails, she expects to be punished somehow. That’s what she’s scared of.”

 _She’s scared of not being perfect,_ Catra looked at the small indoor fountain Perfuma had installed on the side, watching the water drift softly over the rocks while she thought about what she’d said. _No wonder she’s stressed._

“You know, Catra,” she suddenly spoke, “It would _really_ help Adora if you tried letting her in.”

Catra sharply turned back to Perfuma, who had just acknowledged the distance between her and her wife. “What?”

Perfuma continued, unbothered. “It would help the both of you, actually. I know you two don’t have the most typical sort of marriage, but you can _try_ to be closer. Show Adora that she deserves more. Make happy memories to replace the bad ones, that is to say, replace her fear with love.”

Catra felt her tail start twitching involuntarily at the word. 

“Uh, and, does Adora need any medication?” Catra tried changing the subject, remembering the saffron and the vitamins Scorpia tried recommending to her, once.

Perfuma gave her a tight-lipped smile, aware that Catra was trying to avoid the conversation. “No, no medication. Not for this. I’ve given Adora the tools she needs to overcome stresses in her life, she should be able to use them. You just need to think of it like, Adora is _your_ patient, and only _you_ have the cure for her.”

_Fuck me. Okay._

_If that’s what Adora needs, I’ll give it to her._

Catra nodded again. _Love. Love. Love._

“And if she doesn’t want it?” she said against her better judgement, snapping her mouth shut. First she let something slip to Adyn, _then_ to Adora, and now Perfuma. God, maybe this _was_ a Catra-exclusive problem. 

Perfuma beamed at Catra, reaching out and taking a hold of her shoulders. 

“I know it’s hard to open up,” she said gently, “But you have to believe it’ll be worth it.” 

Catra huffed out a laugh.

“So, what, you’re telling me true love’s kiss is going to save her?”

Perfuma gave her a _look._ “I’m not saying you can cure her, but it’ll help her immensely. Having a strong support team is important when someone is recovering, and right now, you’re the MVP.”

Catra watched the fountain again, taking deep, slow breaths before replying.

“That’s the most ridiculous thing you’ve ever said.”

Perfuma gave her a warm laugh. 

***

 _I didn’t ask for couples’ counselling._ Catra peeked over to what Adora had been colouring once they’d left the office. There were three circles, one was colour with blue, the other with red, and the one in the middle was a crude mixture of both. _Although we probably need it._

Perfuma spoke to both her and Adora one last time before they left.

“Think about what I told both of you guys, okay?”

Catra glanced at Adora, who was blushing, and chose to let it go. If she asked Adora, Adora would ask _her._

***

Looking outside her study window, she saw Adora sitting on a bench in the garden, a pencil and paper in hand.

A thought struck her, and she sent a message to one of her newer cadets to do something for her. 

A few minutes later, Catra got a message from the gate, and she told them to let the man in.

Catra watched, facing the outside of the window, as the dryad approached Adora.

He said something to her, and Catra could slightly pick up what they were saying through the window. 

_“Excuse me? Are you the Princess of Red Moon?”_

Adora frowned, putting her drawing down. _“Uh, yeah… I guess that would be me.”_

The dryad gave Adora a collection of flowers. 

_“These are for you.”_

It was the most generic gift on the planet, okay. In her defense, Catra didn’t know what else to possibly give her. Adora expressed interest in the garden, so - flowers. Catra never really took a liking to them, the ones in the garden didn’t have a strong scent so she didn’t mind those ones, but usually Catra would tear any to shreds and then gather the remains to put them somewhere where the pollen and scent _didn’t_ tingle her nose in an irritating manner.

Adora looked at the flowers, bewildered. 

_“I’m sorry, for what?”_

The dryad shrugged. _“Not sure. The only message was, ‘in soggy’.”_

Catra slapped her forehead in frustration, quickly checking to see which one of the cadets had carried out the task.

“ _Fucking_ Kyle,” she growled. It was supposed to say _I’m sorry,_ because Catra couldn’t think of anything else to say, and also because it was an indirect way of letting Adora know they were from her. 

Catra looked back out the window. Maybe it was better that Adora didn’t know who sent them. 

_Too late._ When Catra looked again, she noticed Adora staring right at her.

Catra _did not_ yelp and fall down. No one could prove that she did.

When she looked down again, Adora was smiling at the flowers and smelling them. 

_Uh, mission accomplished?_

***

_Adora_

“Hey, Adora.”

They stopped while crossing each other’s paths in the hallway.

“You mentioned you wanted to go see Glimmer, right? I can have someone take you. What time were you thinking?”

Adora tapped her foot, slightly smiling at Catra. “Won’t you come with?” she asked, hopefully. 

Catra looked taken aback, but smiled nonetheless. “Do you want me to come with you?”

They were interrupted by Catra’s communicator going off. 

Today was supposed to be an _off_ day for Catra. No one had ever called on those days before. It couldn’t have been one of her officers. Catra frowned, switching it off. 

“So,” Catra looked back at Adora. “Should we go together?”

Adora knitted her brows at the communicator, which was still going off in Catra’s hand. 

“No,” she said, suddenly ticked off, “I can see you’re needed elsewhere. You can go wherever you want.”

Catra raised an eyebrow at her, smirking. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Adora bit her lip. Was she overreacting? Maybe. She had a right to, didn’t she? 

“Nothing.” she said tersely, walking away while Catra stood confused behind her.

***

“So,” Adora collapsed on the fluffy bed, “How’s the witch?”

Glimmer fell beside her, face-first. “Quiet. Angry.” she said, muffled.

“Good.” 

They both chuckled. After a while, Glimmer turned and faced the ceiling. 

“Bow did it. I don’t know how, but he did - and I’m gonna be free of this castle. Free of _her_.”

Adora sat up, leaning over Glimmer. 

“You don’t sound… happy.”

“Of course I’m happy,” sighed Glimmer, “I’m just… I don’t know. I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop.”

She sat up too, crossing her legs together and sitting in front of Adora. 

“What did Bow do? Did he talk to my dad?” she worried, fidgeting. “What happened between him and Shadow Weaver? _Why is Dad talking to me?”_

“Okay, _woah,_ ” Adora reached out and stilled Glimmer’s hands, which looked about ready to start throwing punches. “Calm down. What are you talking about? Micah’s _talking_ to you?”

Glimmer sighed, then rolled off the bed and pulled something from underneath it.

“So,” she began, pulling a small box on top of the mattress, “I… saw him, privately, that day we went to dinner with Catra? And um, I guess, he sort of realized… I don’t know,” Glimmer unlatched the box, looking inside it. “He didn’t even know where you _lived,_ Adora. When I pointed it out he seemed sort of shocked. I guess that uh, got through to him?”

Adora pulled the box towards her and looked, reaching inside to take out a bunch of letters wrapped together.

“Adora, just… look at them.”

Adora carefully unwrapped the papers and read them. They were little notes, like _have a great day,_ or knock knock jokes with terrible puns.

“What am I looking at here?” Adora asked, laying the notes out as she read them. Little anecdotes, advice, or just inquiries about Glimmer’s health were written on the inside. 

“I didn’t know at first, either. These started appearing around my room after that day… and I think they’re from Dad. Maybe he found a way to talk to me without… actually talking to me.”

“Ah,” Adora replied, suddenly nervous that _someone_ might walk in. Adora gathered the notes quickly and placed them back in the box, pushing it towards Glimmer. “So, what, you think Micah’s finally trying to make up for lost time?”

Glimmer tucked the small box between her arms, hidden from apparent prying eyes. “Yeah.”

They were quiet. It was no surprise to Adora that Micah was communicating in such a subtle manner, trying to avoid Shadow Weaver’s detection. 

“I hate him.”

“No, you don’t,” came Adora’s automatic reply. She expected the conversation to continue the way it always did - Glimmer complaining, Adora insisting that Micah wasn’t _that bad,_ and neither of them winning before they moved on to the next topic. 

Instead, Glimmer sighed, squeezed the box tighter, and agreed.

“I don’t. But I’m _still_ so mad and _happy_ and - and sad at the same time. If Dad is finally trying to reach out to me…” Glimmer set the box down in front of her. “...Is it right for me to leave him?”

Adora didn’t like where Glimmer’s mind was going. 

“You’re not… breaking up with Bow, are you?” she asked, anxious. 

To her relief, Glimmer’s eyes widened with shock and she shook her head furiously.

“Never! I can’t leave Bow - he’s my best friend! Oh,” Glimmer flushed, “I mean, other than you, of course…”

Adora rolled her eyes affectionately, and picked up the box between them, walking over to Glimmer’s cabinet.

“What are you doing?” Glimmer called from the bed. 

Adora opened the cabinet and used the shelves as a ladder to reach the top. 

“You’re gonna fall, you moron -” 

Adora fell, but not before pushing the box on top of the cabinet and managing to catch herself before falling face first onto the floor.

“You’re a moron,” Glimmer confirmed, watching Adora stagger into an upright position. Adora closed the cabinet behind her, smiling as she returned to Glimmer. “What the hell did you do that for?”

Adora pointed at the top of the shelf. “Out of sight, out of mind. You can figure out the rest later. _After_ you get out of here.”

Glimmer stared up the box, the edge of it still visible.

“Maybe you and Bow can live in his dads’ library in the Fright Zone, that way you’re close to Micah,” Adora continued, thinking of options. “Or, if you decide you’re more angry than you are sad, move to Brotheria.”

“That was the plan,” Glimmer spoke, still staring at the box. “Run away from here. But Bow wanted me to be able to come back, if I wanted to. I didn’t get it at first but… I do now.”

Glimmer was still staring at the box on top of the cabinet. 

“Do you think Dad’s upset with me, too?”

Adora opened her mouth to disagree, but realized she didn’t really have an answer for her, so instead pulled her into a hug. 

***

_Bow_

_Almost done packing everything up, Dad_

_Okay, Bow_ _  
_ _Thank you so much_ _  
_ _I’m sorry we won’t be able to make it_

 _It’s okay_ __  
_Take care of Dad_ _  
_ _I’ll see you soon, I promise_

“Bow?"

Catra stopped while walking through the room, noticing Bow leaned against the wall.

“What are you doing here? Don’t you leave today?”

Bow picked himself up to speak to her. 

“I need a favour,” Bow said quietly.

“Yeah, sure - what is it?”

Bow took a deep breath. 

“Can you handle things from the groom’s side?” he asked, heart thudding nervously. Catra was probably his oldest friend, but he still wasn’t sure how okay she’d be taking the role of his family. "Kind of like, my best man, or something?"

She was quiet for a few seconds, clearly stunned at the request, before she answered.

“Of course I will. What do you need me to do?”

Bow sighed in relief. “Just… Everything family would be expected to do.”

Catra took a sharp inhale at the word.

“Gogh, Woah, Oboe… everyone’s busy with their own lives, I haven’t even _spoken_ to them in months,” Bow explained. He’d sent them the messages and the invitations, sure, but one, he wasn’t sure they’d even arrive on time, and two, he wasn’t sure they’d _believe_ him. “And… my dads aren’t coming.”

Catra furrowed her brows, crossing her arms. “Why not? You’re, like, their favourite kid.”

Bow lightly laughed at the comment. It was a running joke in the family that Bow was the favourite. 

“They can’t because… Lance isn’t allowed to get out of bed.”

“What? What happened?”

Bow averted his eyes from Catra’s face, knowing she was bound to be upset with him for not telling her. 

“Well, you know I had a family emergency when you were getting married…? It, uh. Lance had a heart attack and has been bedridden ever since...”

_"Bow?!”_

"...and the reason I'm heading to Brotheria is to pack up the library up because they're thinking about retiring."

Catra reached out and slapped his arm. “Why didn’t you _tell me!?”_

“ _Ow!_ I didn’t want to _worry_ you!” 

Bow rubbed his stinging arm, waiting in silence for Catra to berate him.

She didn’t. They both didn’t say anything for a while.

“I’ll do it, okay. Represent George and Lance as your… family, or whatever.”

Catra tried to say it as if it was no big deal, but Bow threw his arms around her and suffocated her in a big hug before she was even done speaking.

…

“Uh, Bow?”

“Hm?”

“You can let go now.”

“No.”

Catra sighed, then reluctantly squirmed to hug him back.

…

_Rrrrr._

Bow laughed. “Are you _purring?”_

Catra let go of him and pushed him back, blushing. “Get over yourself! I was - I was _growling_ because you were _annoying_ me!”

“Sure you were, _cat._ ”

Catra actually growled this time, smacking Bow again and rolling her eyes before turning to leave. She stopped halfway, and Bow turned to see what she was looking at -

Adora was standing there, watching them with a hand clamped over her mouth, slightly squealing. 

“She was purring, right?” Bow excitedly pointed at Catra, glad that he had a _witness._

Adora nodded behind her hands, looking at them with what Bow could only describe as _lovestruck_ eyes. 

Catra grumbled, skirting past a giggling Adora. “I was _not!”_ she yelled behind her. 

Once she was out of her sight, Adora approached Bow, who was also laughing now. 

_“She was -”_ Adora whispered, a little amazed, “ _\- purring?”_

Bow nodded, whispering back, _“It was so fucking cute, right?”_

“I can _hear_ both of you! Quit it!”

***

_Adora_

_This is it. This is the best day of my life. Fuck everything else. It was all worth it to see this._

Catra was hugging Bow, and _purring_. Full-on purring, with her eyes closed, ears pinned, and chin rubbing against Bow’s shoulder. 

Adora had to slap a hand over her mouth to prevent herself from _screaming_. 

Unfortunately, Bow had to go and ruin it by pointing it out.

“I can hear both of you!” came Catra’s voice, suddenly. “Quit it!”

It did the trick, Adora quickly quieted down and said goodbye to Bow, retreating to her room. 

***

Everything required balance. 

So it wasn’t really a shock that to balance the good mood she’d been in, next afternoon Adora was presented with the view of Adyn trailing around the mansion. 

“Um, hello.” Adora spoke, and Adyn turned to look at her. “Adyn, right? Are you waiting for something? I can get you something to drink while you wait.”

Adora smiled at her, trying to be polite. 

She’d been wandering around like a lost puppy for a few minutes before Adora said something. Adyn glowered at Adora and crossed her arms. 

“I didn’t come here for a drink. I came here to talk. Where’s Katrina?”

Adora felt a sudden irritation at the way Adyn was speaking to her. 

“She’s in her study. You wait here, I’ll go get her for you,” Adora figured now was as good a time as any to ask Catra if she could tell Adyn to _fuck off,_ like Glimmer had suggested. Plus, Perfuma _did_ tell Adora to start expressing her wants, even if they terrified her. 

“Don’t bother,” Adyn started to walk past her, “I can get her myself.”

“Hold on.” Adora stopped her, “I _said_ I’ll go get her. You can wait down here.”

“Excuse me?” Adyn glared at her angrily. Adora glared right back. “Who are _you_ to tell me what to do?”

“I’m Princess Adora of Red Moon _,_ ” Adora said, for the first time actually _claiming_ the title and liking the way it felt to say, “and this is _my house_.”

Adyn smiled, then said, “Not for long,” pushing her hair back and laughing in a vicious manner. Adora froze up.

“You think I don’t know exactly who you are? I know _everything_ about you,” Adyn leaned closer to her, _“Traitor.”_

Adora flinched at the word, moving away from her.

“I know exactly what you’re doing,” she continued cruelly, even as Adora tried to slide away from her. “I have this small feeling that you’re pretending to be this frightened, innocent girl, to trick Katrina into letting you into her heart.”

“I’m doing no such thing,” Adora retaliated, clenching her fists. “So why don’t you keep your _small feeling_ in your _small mind?_ ”

Adyn scowled at her, stepping into her space. She was a bit shorter than her - but she managed to look intimidating. 

“It doesn’t _matter_ .” she spoke lowly, in a deeper voice. “No matter what you do, Katrina could never let someone like you into her heart. You _can’t_ replace me.” her voice wavered a bit, but she went on. Adyn’s voice finally started going back to the higher pitched tone that annoyed the _shit_ out of Adora.

“I’m not _trying_ to,” Adora mumbled, wanting the conversation to be over. 

“She’s not just going to cast you out of her heart, she’s going to cast you out of her home, her life, and _then,_ ” Adyn continued cheerfully, as if they were making light conversation, “She’s going to marry _me_ . Someone that’s _actually_ good enough for her. So don’t mistake her sympathy for anything else. Don’t go dreaming about a life where the two of you are together, got it?” 

With that, Adyn pushed past her and went up to see Catra.

 _Oh._ Well, that answered that. 

Adora’s heart settled deep inside her stomach, and when she found the feeling had returned to her legs, she headed upstairs. Glimmer was wrong. _She_ was wrong. Catra wasn’t falling in love with her. Not at all. 

She blinked back the tears. “Stop it,” she told herself. “You’re stronger than this. Stop it.”

Adora wiped them away on her sleeve and settled onto the bed, grabbing a book to distract herself with. 

_Doesn’t matter. Doesn’t matter. Doesn’t matter._

_Come on, Adora, at least Catra’s your friend. She cares about you. She doesn’t have to -_

Adora’s gut twisted and she quickly turned the page.

_She doesn’t have to love you back._

***

_Catra_

“Katrina?”

Catra looked up and saw, of course, Adyn. She felt a pang of annoyance. What was the point of having guards at the gate, when the only thing they warned her about were flower deliveries? 

“Hey!” Catra put on her best fake smile. “What are you doing here?”

She came to sit down on the couch next to Catra. “I was just thinking… about your _problems,”_ Adyn said, settling down and crossing her legs. “What have you found out about Cyra, so far? Maybe I can help.”

“Uh, well,” Catra said, now feeling a little guilty that she’d been annoyed, when Adyn had come here just to help her with Cyra. The poor kit had been upset because she was starting to lose hope that Catra would ever find her mother. 

“I’ve been combing through missing child reports all over Etheria, but… nothing.”

“Have you considered she may not be from Etheria?”

Catra frowned. It had never occurred to Catra that maybe Cyra had strayed _that_ far from home, that she had come from another realm completely. Cyra’s descriptions of her home were also very general and unhelpful. The only information Catra’d gotten from the kid herself was that her mom was holding her hand, then someone grabbed her and started running - Cyra bit them and ran away, but couldn’t find her mother. 

“No. Other than the Fright Zone, I never considered it. Thanks, I - I’ll look into it.”

Adyn smiled. “Anything for you.”

Catra sent a message to DT to see if they could find some way to contact people outside of the Rebellion.

“And uh, what about Adora?” Adyn asked as Catra set the tracker pad aside.

That question threw Catra off a little. “What about her?”

“I mean,” Adyn switched her legs, “Your relationship? What have you been considering about that?”

“What am I _supposed_ to be considering?” Catra asked carefully, not sure where Adyn was going with it. 

“I mean -” Adyn sighed exasperatedly, uncrossing her legs and leaning forwards, “Come on, Katrina, why don’t you just _leave her_ already?”

Catra stood up immediately, knocking Adyn back. 

“Excuse me?” she asked coldly. 

She’d had a feeling that the girl may have liked her, sure, but she didn’t expect Adyn to outright suggest something like _that_ . Not after all the time she’d spent trying to politely make it clear, especially not after Adyn acted like she _understood._

Adyn paled, stammering. “I - I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said it like that. I just meant that, you don’t even like her or anything, and well - she’s just causing you all this stress, confusing you! So why don’t you just -” Catra raised her hand to stop Adyn from finishing that sentence.

“First of all, I didn’t tell you about what was going on so you could give me advice on how to _leave her.”_ Catra told her, completely callous. Whatever she’d assumed about Adyn at first was right. The girl’s intentions were _clearly_ not just of friendship.

“I told you because I needed to talk about it out loud with someone I trust - but _clearly_ that was a mistake. I’ve told you again and again, you’re just a _friend_. Don’t hold out hope for anything else from me.”

Adyn crossed her arms, looking out the window. 

“And as for Adora,” Catra continued, blood boiling, “ _Whatever_ our situation is, _whatever_ feelings I may have, we’re _married_. And I’m not planning on breaking that bond for anyone, got it?”

Adyn pushed her hair back from her face and turned back to Catra, then stood up from the couch.

“Katrina, will you _please_ just listen to me, to what I’m trying to tell you?” 

Catra stared at her unblinkingly for a second. All this time she’d spent getting out of her own comfort zone because she’d thought making friends with Adyn was a step in the right direction, and Adyn had just been trying to pursue a - a _relationship_ with her?

It was time for whatever it was to be completely over, _politeness_ be damned. 

“I think you need to go.” 

“Katri-” 

_“Now,_ Adyn.” Catra exited the room, and Adyn solemnly walked past, shooting Catra one last pleading look. 

“ _Goodbye_.” 

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y e e t. the first apology. y'all happy?
> 
> hands up if you hate adyn!! also fuck catra for talking abt adora's stuff w her. at least she finally fucking REALIZED and now adyn is ~~gone~~  
>  so. bow's gone back to brotheria for a little bit and glimmer's having confliciting feelings abt leaving her father. wonder how that'll turn out lol  
> and cyra is upset abt something 👀👀


	10. nazar milao ke agar, tho gir jao ge tum

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> nazar milao ke agar,  
> tho gir jao ge tum
> 
> _if you look too closely,_  
>  _you will fall_
> 
> ***
> 
> Bow and Glimmer's future is decided. Catra and Adora's has just begun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> watching you all be mad at adyn is so funny because i also fucking H A T E her w a burning passion.  
> so did everyone else who watched the show, literally people would just be ranting like "every time Aten Aunty comes on screen I just wanna slap her"  
> but whats even more funnier is that adyn is NOT AS BAD as fucking "Aten" but you guys still seem to want to punt her as much as i do.
> 
> so anyways, the aftermath of what adyn's little visit had on adora's view of catra.

_Adora_

“Hey, Adora.”

Adora stilled, but didn’t take her eyes off the page. She really couldn’t bring herself to look Catra in the eye right now, not after what Adyn had told her. 

“Ready to go?”

“Go?” Adora felt dread creep up into her chest. “I - I have to go?”

Catra stalked into the room and gingerly sat down in front of Adora. “Uh, yeah, we have to go to find out what’s wrong in here,” she poked her forehead amusingly, “Remember? Come on, let’s go. Perfuma’s waiting.”

 _Oh._ Adora followed Catra out to her car, her anxiety ever-present. Any day now, Catra would come in and tell her she had to go to _forever_ , to make room for Adyn.

“Where’s your friend?” she tried to ask casually. “I saw her come in.”

Catra had started growling softly at the mention of Adyn, and Adora felt a little surprised. Why was she upset?

“She’s gone.”

She couldn’t help but feel a little satisfied. _What, did you two get in a fight or something?_

Adora thumbed the ring on her hand while Catra started the car. Did it actually mean anything to her? She glanced at Catra and noticed that she wasn’t wearing hers.

Her heart panged, but she didn’t say anything about it. Neither to Catra, nor Perfuma.

***

It went faster than usual. 

Perfuma said she was proud of her. For what, exactly, Adora wasn’t sure. She couldn’t really tell if she’d gotten better or not, but Perfuma assured her that even the slightest bit of progress was a huge step in the right direction. 

She told her she was happy for her and was glad to see her.

What did Perfuma see in Adora that _she_ didn’t?

“‘Dora,” Cyra murmured, tired, “I’m hungry.”

“Didn’t you have dinner with Gaea?” Adora asked, petting Cyra’s head. She frowned when Cyra admitted she didn’t, because she wanted Adora to eat with her.

“That’s not a good thing, Cy,” Adora reprimanded, “What if you’d fallen asleep before I got back? Then you would’ve been hungry all night.”

Cyra burrowed further into Adora’s side. “Why do you have to go? Can’t you stay here forever?”

Adora’s hand stilled, before resuming the slow pets. “It’s not really up to me,” she said softly. Cyra whined, the sound emerging from the same place her purrs did. 

“Then I’m going to tell Catra to make you stay!”

Adora stopped completely, pulling Cyra off of her to look her in the eye. Cyra was angrily looking at Adora.

“Cyra,” she chided, “Is that how you’re supposed to speak to your parents?”

Now, Cyra looked more confused than she did angry. “Parents?”

“No,” she replied, staggering in place, “I said - parent, Catra. You shouldn’t - say, um - talk about your parents, _parent_ like that.”

Adora flushed in embarrassment, then stood up and quickly left to see if she could find something for Cyra to snack on before going to bed.

***

While she was coming back up, she heard Catra talking. 

_“... stop sulking around, listen to me, and come back. And that’s an order.”_

Adora stopped, carrying some apples and a bottle of water in her arms and feeling _ridiculous_ for eavesdropping like this. Was Catra talking to…?

 _“Thank me_ after _the wedding. I’ve got everything covered from this end. All you have to do is show up and look pretty.”_

An apple almost rolled over and fell, and Adora quickly moved to catch it. Catra hung up on who Adora was sure was Adyn, and she waited until some time had passed to move.

Would Adyn ever take care of Cyra like this once her and Catra got married? 

Adora sped past her, trying to ignore Catra standing in her way.

***

_Catra_

  
  


“When are you coming back?”

Bow was unusually quiet over the phone. _“I feel like I should stay longer, for Lance.”_

“Your wedding is two days from now.” Catra stopped in the middle of the hallway, leaning against the wall. “If you think you’re not going to make it back in time, you need to tell her.”

 _“I know, but I don’t want her to have to worry about me,”_ he admitted softly. _“The wedding is supposed to be the happiest she’s ever been. I - I don’t want to bring her down.”_

“Bow, did she shut you out when her mother died?”

Catra heard someone coming down the hall from the opposite direction.

_“No.”_

“Should she have?”

_“...No. I wanted to be there for her.”_

“Exactly. She needs your support, and you need hers. So stop sulking around, listen to me, and come back. And that’s an order.”

The person coming down the hall stopped. Bow was softly laughing. _A win._

 _“Okay, Catra.”_ Quiet again. _“Thank you.”_

“Thank me _after_ the wedding. I’ve got everything covered from this end. All you have to do is show up and look pretty.”

Bow laughed again, before disconnecting, 

Adora rounded the hall, carrying apples and looking obviously upset. She’d been upset since Perfuma’s appointment. 

"Hey, Adora.” Catra said, hoping the good news would cheer her up. She felt her tail waving around happily behind her. “Guess what?”

“I have to get to Cyra.” Adora started to walk away from her in a hurry. Catra quickly spoke before she could get too far. 

“Bow and Glimmer’s wedding is happening, soon.”

Adora stopped in her place. Then she slowly turned on her heel, absolutely _beaming._ “Wait, really?”

Catra nodded excitedly. Bow’s dad had apparently worsened in condition while he was visiting and he was starting to feel guilty about wanting to move away, but Catra managed to convince him that he should come back and at least bring Glimmer to Brotheria so she could make the decision with him after spending some time with George and Lance herself. 

“Bow’s dads won’t come back with him, but he’ll be back in time.”

“That’s great!” Adora grinned, fumbling around with the food she had. “I should go talk to Glimmer.”

Catra stopped her by her shoulder, curious. “Really? About what?” she asked, strolling in front of Adora and crossing her arms behind her back. Adora blushed and looked away from her again. “What _exactly_ do you two even talk about?” 

If possible, Adora got even _more_ flustered. “I don’t know. We - I can’t tell you all of the stuff we talk about.”

“Oh? Really?” Catra stalked closer to her. “There’s _stuff_ you can’t talk to me about? Like _what?”’_

Adora side-stepped her, walking away again. “Um, Cyra hasn’t eaten anything for hours, I should… “

She got a few steps away, before Catra asked her a question she’d been thinking about for a while. 

“You love Cyra, don’t you?”

She heard Adora stop behind her, but Catra didn’t look back. 

“...Yeah.”

“Why?” 

“I just, do.”

“You don’t ever feel, I don’t know, jealous?” She continued, casually, not looking back to see Adora’s reaction. “Knowing that she’s from an ex-girlfriend?”

Catra heard Adora turn around, but she kept her eyes in front of her. 

“No… not at all. But I do feel a little sad, sometimes.”

“Sad?” Catra questioned, tilting her head a little bit out of surprise. “Why _sad?”_

“Just that… she doesn’t have both of her moms.”

After that, Adora padded away softly. 

Catra slightly smiled to herself. Of _course_ Adora didn’t give a crap that Cyra wasn’t hers, she’d fallen in love with her as if Cyra was her own daughter. One of the things Catra had been worried about before their marriage was that whoever it was wouldn’t take kindly to a step-daughter. 

But here Adora was, not _angry,_ or _indifferent_ to the child, just upset that Cyra was missing her other parent. 

All of a sudden, Catra felt a strong fondness blooming in her chest for Adora. She immediately tried to push it down so she could focus, but it kept coming back and squeezing her heart, in a weirdly good way. 

***

So the universe had continually proven to give her a _good_ feeling in exchange for some horribleness.

 _Katrina, please answer me.  
_ _Come on, I know I was wrong  
_ _I said I was sorry  
_ _Why are you pushing me away?_

A feeling of pity for the young girl ran through Catra. She’d been ignoring her for what seemed like forever, but Adyn just _wouldn’t stop._

_What is it?_

_…  
_ _Thank you for finally answering.  
_ _I want to talk to you._

_Go on._

_Can we meet up somewhere to talk?_

_I’m busy._

_Please, it’s very important  
_ _Can we talk soon?_

 _I have a wedding to attend._ _  
_ _If you wanna talk, we can do it after then._

Catra groaned to herself, switching the tracker pad off and setting it aside. She’d deal with Adyn _later,_ right now she was more focused on finishing doing all the buttons up on the matching suit that Bow had gotten for her and Adora.

***

_Adora_

“Stupid… _fucking…_ ” Adora tried and failed _once more_ to hook the little metal thing into the _other_ little metal thing to finally close her necklace. “ _Who the fuck made this thing?”_

Adora started looking around on her dresser for some alternate piece of jewelry, leaning towards _none at all._ The only reason she was attempting to put _this_ one on was because - 

Something touched her shoulder and Adora shrieked, turning around and nearly dropping the necklace. 

“Here, let me help you,” Catra offered, gesturing to her necklace.

“Uhm, no,” Adora refused, flames on her face because of her overreaction, “I can do it.”

Catra raised an eyebrow at her. “I’m not waiting here all night for you to figure out how a lock works, Princess. Hand it over.”

***

_Catra_

Catra brushed aside Adora’s hair from her neck so she could close the clasp. She looked up and realized her hands were much shakier than when she had entered. 

She looked up into the mirror and saw Adora’s expression, still downcast out of embarrassment for having _screeched_ when Catra tapped her shoulder. Catra smiled at the sight, then turned her attention back on the _stupid_ lock.

***

_Adora_

Adora felt Catra struggling behind her and looked up in the mirror to see Catra’s attention fixated on the lock, and smiled.

“Not so easy, is it?” she commented. Catra hissed slightly, then finally accomplished her task and let the necklace go.

“I did it faster than _you,”_ she bit back. “Can we go, now?”

***

_Catra_

She left her tracker pad at the manor, for once. She made one last check on any _important_ messages.

 _“General Catra,_ _  
_ _Everything is going smoothly._ _  
_ _No possible problems presented from either side._ _  
_ _If all continues to go well, then according to your plan, we should have everything come to a close by this time next week.”_

By next week, all Horde camps that produced or supplied Hemanogen would be shut down, anyone that had been spying on the Rebellion for the Horde would be caught and questioned, and Catra could _move on._

There was no doubt in Catra’s mind that Adora would be proven innocent in one way or the other. She’d find Kitch and _make_ him tell the truth, if need be. 

_"When do you need the files of the people involved in Erelandia’s case?”_

_“All reports will be gathered and distributed the day of, to prevent anyone being alerted of what is going on.”_

_“Okay. I’ll bring the ones in my possession to you the day before.  
_ _Aside from emergencies, I’m not to be contacted for anything other than the Erelandia case.  
_ _Any and all questions can be redirected to DT or Captain Root.”_

_“Yes, General Catra._  
_May I ask why?”_

_“Family events.”_

Catra held onto Cyra tightly when they hit a bump in the road.

“Why are you even wearing that?” Catra asked, when she noticed Adora fiddling with the necklace. “It doesn’t exactly go with the suit.”

Adora hesitated, before answering. “It’s special,” she turned the golden pendant over, “It was… a gift. From Angella.”

“Oh.” 

An awkward silence bloomed between them, but Cyra came to the rescue.

“Why is it a wing?” she pointed out. “Is it like a bird? Do you like birds? Will you chase them with me tomorrow?”

Adora chuckled, but didn’t say anything more because they’d arrived at Bright Moon. Instead, she excitedly got out of the car and helped both Catra and Cyra out of the door, rushing inside.

***

_Adora_

Adora could remember her own wedding very clearly. The stupid _event_ barely took an hour to be over, there was almost no one there, no reception, no vows, and certainly no _party._

Glimmer’s was nothing like that. Adora didn’t know if it was because Micah was trying to make up with her, or because Bow had worked some magic and gotten Shadow Weaver to splurge on it, but everything was fucking _fantastic._

From the second they entered the ballroom, Adora was overwhelmed by the amount of people bustling around her and the brightness of the lights flashing in her face. 

It was breathtaking, until she felt tiny claws digging into her skin and faced Cyra.

Cyra had her eyes squeezed shut and was using the hand that wasn’t gripping Adora’s to hold one of her ears closed.

“Hey,” Adora kneeled in front of her, holding her face and trying to get Cyra to open her eyes, “What’s wrong?”

“Hurts,” Cyra whispered, panting, “Too loud.”

Adora looked up helplessly to Catra hoping for some help, and Catra knelt down in front of her. 

“Hey, Cyra,” Catra whispered, “Can you focus on one thing for me? Just focus on my voice.”

Catra and Cyra started whispering to each other, Catra giving her advice on how to deal with the overstimulation.

Adora watched while mother and daughter had their quiet talk, and feeling out of place, backed into the crowd, her stomach churning. Should she stay? Should she try to help?

No, Catra didn’t need her. Neither did Cyra, who was holding onto Catra so tightly, eyes closed and slightly whimpering. They were just fine together. Neither of them _needed_ her.

_I should… I need to… I should go see Glimmer._

***

_Glimmer _

Adora bounded into her room while Glimmer was carefully trying to put on a sea glass bracelet that Mermista had gifted to her.

“Glimmer!” 

Adora stopped, shell-shocked, in the middle of Glimmer’s room.

“Holy _shit!”_ she said, looking her up and down. Glimmer gestured at Adora’s velvet blue suit-and-tie get up. 

“I could say the same about you.”

Adora came closer, and Glimmer noticed the necklace. She frowned at it, and Adora glanced down to see what she was looking at before fondly rolling her eyes at Glimmer. 

“What? I said I’d only wear it for something special.”

“You didn’t even wear that at your _own_ wedding,” she pointed out. 

“It’s not like I had much choice, I mean, I didn’t even pick my _wife,_ ” Adora joked, smirking at her. Glimmer nodded silently, then turned back towards the mirror.

“Woah, hey,” Adora slid next to her, worried, “What’s wrong? Why are you so upset?”

Glimmer exhaled through her nose. “I’m not… I don’t know.”

She stared at herself in the mirror. Shadow Weaver had gone all out for the wedding. Or maybe Dad did. She wasn’t sure who was doing what, at this point. The notes had stopped coming in two days ago, no matter how desperately Glimmer searched for one.

“Is this about the notes?” Adora asked, and when Glimmer made a slight movement, she took it as a _yes_ and walked across the room again.

“Come on, I told you to leave it for _after_ the wedding, but if it makes you happy -” she opened the closet and started mounting up the shelves again, not seeming to realize the clothes she was in were _not_ made for fucking _climbing._

“Adora,” Glimmer called exasperatedly, trying to prevent her from getting herself hurt because she thought she was _She-Ra_ or something, when Catra walked in. 

It all happened so quickly, Glimmer wished she’d caught the exact moment on camera.

Catra wandered in the room, not seeming to realize it was Glimmer’s room - how would she, the only time Catra had come to her room was when she scaled in from the outside - and noticed her standing there in her wedding dress.

“Hey, Glimmer -”

Catra approached her from the side, and Adora stumbled when she heard her voice, a bold decision when you’re climbing something you’re not supposed to be climbing while wearing high heels.

“Have you seen Adora any - _!?”_

Catra made an alarming noise at the same time Adora’s hands slipped and she fell from the cabinet, and she darted forward and caught her in a dip before she hit the floor. 

Adora stared up at Catra, surprised, and Catra looked down at her poker-faced.Catra had caught her with one hand snaked around her torso, and the other one holding her by the shoulder. 

The golden-wing of Adora’s necklace slid backwards and was caught in her hair, so Catra slowly brought a hand up and slowly untangled it, pulling it back down over Adora’s face and letting it fall onto her chest, and she made a little gasp of surprise.

Glimmer cleared her throat, and Catra made a squeak and pulled Adora up.

“Hi.” she smiled at the two morons trying to stand up straight and look like they weren’t about to kiss. 

“Um, hi.” Glimmer would bet anything that Catra was as red as Adora’s stupid jacket under all that fur. “Uh, Adora, have you seen Cyra? I can’t find her.”

Adora coughed, not meeting either of their eyes.

“No, no I haven’t.”

“Okay. I’ll look for her.”

Catra rushed out of the room. 

“Uh, me too.” Adora stumbled after her. 

Glimmer laughed and watched the two leave, going in separate directions before faltering and heading towards the ballroom. 

_They’re sorting their shit out, aren’t they?_

***

Speaking of sorting shit out…

Glimmer knocked on Micah’s door. It was hard to get to his room unnoticed, sure, but Glimmer grew up in these corridors. She knew her way around any guards, or - or _her._

Plus, she always told him. Always. This was no different. 

She waited with bated breaths, then tapped a rhythm they’d made up when she was younger. 

_Tap-tap, tap-tap-tap, knock-knock, tap._

“Dad?”

No response.

“I…”

She took a shuddering breath.

“I’m going.”

Glimmer turned to leave for the last time, when the door opened. 

***

_ Bow _

Catra gave him a thumbs up from her place next to Adora. Turns out, Oboe _did_ make it - and Bow had to beg him not to do an instrumental number but he _persisted,_ so Catra made a deal to let him be the best man if she could break his woodwind instrument.

The lights began strobing up and down, and the music dropped down.

The speakers around them crackled with noise. First, a long-suffering sigh sounded out, then someone began speaking.

_"Listen up, fives - a ten is speaking.”_

There were quite a few laughs in the crowd, while the older nobles looked baffled at how Princess Mermista was addressing the crowd. 

_“I’ve been asked to introduce the bride for tonight, why, I have no idea…”_ she muttered slightly away from the mic. _“So uh, here she comes.”_

Someone’s palm covered the mic, and two people’s muffled arguing came through while the feedback rang in Bow’s ears. Looking in the crowd, he found Catra and Cyra wincing at the noise, and they both ended up taking Adora’s hand to comfort themselves. Despite the horrible speech that was currently being given, Bow felt his heart warm up. 

Adora blushed, not really knowing what to do with both of their hands. Catra opened her eyes and saw that she was holding her hand, and took it away from her - pretending she never took it in the first place. But Bow could see her slightly smiling before the lights dimmed out completely. 

_“Sorry, everyone. I’ve been informed that I’m being unprofessional. I would like to apologize and also point out that this is not my profession. Here comes the bride.”_

The mic was turned off before any more arguing could be heard. Even if there were a thousand people yelling at each other in the background, Bow couldn’t care less, because the crowd finally, _finally_ dispersed, and Bow was greeted with the image of Glimmer making her way to the centre of the ballroom where he was waiting for her.

Catra told him Glimmer looked pretty, but she didn’t tell him she looked like a literal _angel._

Bow figured the wedding dress must’ve been her mother’s. It seemed to be Angella’s taste, with the pink billowing sleeves and the mesh, cape-like fabric flowing behind her, almost like they were wings. 

In her hands was a bouquet of flowers, and on her face was a bright smile. In her eyes were literal _sparkles,_ and holding her arm was none other than King Micah of Bright Moon, gently guiding her to Bow.

“Huh,” Bow said. Oboe snickered behind him, nudging his shoulder. 

“You’re never allowed to make fun of me and Paris again, the way you’re looking at her right now.”

Bow couldn’t even be bothered. He was staring wide eyed as Glimmer walked towards him. For a second, the lights flashed pink, and she looked like an angel walking towards him.

Micah stopped outside of the little circle where Bow and Glimmer were supposed to have their first dance.

“You must Bow,” he said weakly, and Bow wondered if his voice was scratchy because of emotion or disuse, “I know Glimmer is smart enough to make good decisions. She is her mother’s daughter, after all.”

Glimmer airily laughed. It was the best thing Bow had heard.

“So if she chose to marry you, then I know she chose wisely, with her heart and her head.”

Micah gently pushed Glimmer ahead into the circle, and Oboe stepped out of it.

“I love you, Glimmer.”

Then, King Micah stepped back into the crowd, somehow blending in immediately with everyone’s attention still on him and Glimmer. 

Bow took her hands and pulled her further into the circle, and the last thing he noticed before the cheers brought him back to the present was Glimmer’s oval-shaped, pink-tinted earrings. 

***

_Adora_

Every moment of the wedding replayed in her head like a movie, from the second Catra caught her in a dip in Glimmer’s room to the second she was helping a sleepy Catra get back in the car to go back to Red Moon. Catra yawned, all fangs showing, and settled her head on the car door.

“I love Bow,” she slurred, half-asleep, “but I hate him.”

Cyra, already asleep in Adora’s lap, began to rumble with a soft purr when Adora laughed. 

“Uh, Princess?” the driver called back to her. “Do you want some privacy?”

Adora squinted at him through the mirror. She didn’t really care, but… both Cyra and Catra were pretty much passed out, and Adora didn’t like the thought of the stranger staring at them if Adora fell asleep, too. 

Once the partition went up, the only light in the car was coming through the tinted windows. Soon they were out of Bright Moon, and had entered the forest pathway, where things started to get bumpy.

On the first bump, Adora adjusted Cyra in her lap so no part of her would be affected by a sudden jolt. On the second one, Adora wondered if she could somehow take her coat off and slip it under Catra’s head, which banged against the window where she had fallen asleep.

On the third bump, eyes closed, Catra growled in her sleep. Her subconscious must not have realized she was in a car and not in her bed, because she picked her head up and shifted it to the other ‘pillow’ - which happened to be Adora’s shoulder.

“Oh,” Adora said, going very still so Catra’s head could rest comfortably. She shuffled closer to her so Catra’s neck wouldn’t strain as much.

They hit a few more bumps, which made Catra growl and burrow deeper into Adora. Soon, the growl faded to something softer, and when she recognized the sound, her heart nearly burst out of her _fucking_ chest - 

Catra and Cyra were both _purring_ while sleeping on Adora.

Somehow, Catra’s hand found Cyra’s back, and she began pushing and kneading. Cyra started purring even louder. 

Cyra would do that to Adora’s arm, sometimes, while sleeping. Dimly, Adora wondered if she’d ever get to have that again, after Catra left her.

“Hey, Mara?” she muttered, catching a glimpse of the stars. “If you ever wanted me to join you, now’s the time. I’d be happy to go like this. Thanks.”

She could practically hear Mara laughing at her as the car continued to drift on home. 

***

_Catra_

**_JOLT!_ **

“ _Mrrp?”_ Catra woke up.

She looked around and realized she’d been napping on top of Adora, of all people.

Adora was gazing at her with a weird look in her eyes at first, but then she averted her gaze and stared at nothing out the window. 

“Sorry…” she murmured, feeling bad that she had somehow forced Adora to hold her. But it wasn’t before long that Adora ended up asleep against her, too, just a few minutes before they arrived home, so - they were even? 

Did it even count? Because Adora had probably been uncomfortable with Catra’s head on her shoulder, but Catra did not mind even a little bit when Adora slumped against her. Not even when she had to end up half-dragging her while carrying Cyra to bed. 

Somehow, the dork had managed to stay asleep even after bumping into _several_ objects before falling into Cyra’s bed. 

Catra pulled a blanket over Adora, and left her night suit on a chair in Cyra's room so she could easily change once she was conscious enough.

***

_Bow _

They got on the fastest boat in the sea to visit George and Lance. 

“Dad… apologized,” Glimmer confessed to him in the quiet. “He said… he thought I hated him. That’s why he stayed away from me. He thought I didn’t want to see him.”

“Did you?” Bow whispered back, listening to the water lapping against the side of the side of the boat.

“No. No matter how mad I was, I just wanted him to come hold me and tell me everything was gonna be okay.”

The boat rocked, and Bow pulled her into a side-hug. Glimmer wrapped her arms around his waist. “I don’t even know if he meant it. There’s something off about him, Bow. It was like… he wasn’t all there. I don’t know what’s wrong with him.”

“What do you wanna do? Do you wanna go back to him?”

A horn sounded, signaling that they’d reached Brotheria. 

“I don’t know.”

***

George was waiting for them, and Bow got a message on his communicator while Glimmer was introducing herself.

_My friend, I’m so sorry to bother you so soon after the wedding. But do you remember Kitch?_

Bow sighed, then tapped Glimmer on her shoulder.

“I have to go back.”

***

_Adora_

“‘Dora?”

After hearing Catra make the softest noise she’d ever heard in her life, Adora fell asleep, not wanting to deal with the fact that if she _hadn’t_ been in love with Catra before, she definitely was after hearing _that._

She wasn’t sure how she made it there, but she woke up in Cyra’s bed, sometime around noon, with Cyra whimpering against her.

“I’m cold.”

Adora pressed a hand against Cyra’s forehead.

“You’re burning up,” she stated, worry creeping into her. “What’s wrong?”

Cyra whined, and tried to move closer to her.

“Feel… bad…” 

_Oh, no._

***

_Catra_

“Cadet, go give these to General Octavia,” Catra handed him the list of responsibilities she’d be leaving behind. 

She’d been delegating a _lot_ of work for the past few weeks. Before, she didn’t really mind spending most of her time talking strategy and staying with the Rebellion. It was how she’d gotten promoted so fast.

But now, she didn’t really feel… fulfilled doing it. 

Plus, Cyra was sick today, so Catra wanted to get back home as fast as possible. 

But the wedding was over, which meant:

“Hey, Katrina!” 

Catra stopped halfway back into her office and took a deep breath. _Chill. Just hear her out. Then you can go._

“Hey!” she turned, smiling, not bothering to hide her fangs. 

“Um, is it okay if we talk tonight?” Adyn asked her, “Maybe over dinner?”

_Nope._

“Actually, I can’t tonight, I have plans with Adora and Cyra.”

Adyn frowned. “ _Adora_?”

Catra breathed through her nose, showing her visible disdain at how Adyn said her name.

“Yeah,” she replied, “ _Adora,_ and _Cyra._ Do you have a problem with that? _”_

“Sorry, sorry,” Adyn backed off, “I just meant -”

“Yeah, I know what you meant.”

Adyn looked upset. Catra was very much past caring how upset she was. 

“Katrina… listen. I - I don’t think it’s good how attached you’re getting to Adora without even knowing whether or not she’s lying.”

Catra took a deep breath, beginning to walk out of the army base. Adyn followed her.

“I’m just saying, why risk getting close to her? What if she’s faking all of this - this niceness, just for her own gain?”

Catra stopped. Adyn stumbled in front of her, looking at her with pleading eyes.

“I’m trying to _protect_ you, Katrina. You’re - you’re special to me.”

Catra sighed, feeling a headache coming on. She was regretting this job more and more every day. What even was the point of it? Her anger had driven her at first but she was running short on that nowadays. Lynda had even warned her not to join the army for this very reason. Catra couldn’t just channel misery and hatred for her whole life. 

She wanted to go home and lie down. Think about what she’d just considered doing. 

“Listen,” she began. Telling her this would get her off Catra’s back for at least a couple of days. “I’m going to know for sure _really_ soon. You don’t have to worry about me.”

Catra sped past her, opting to have someone drop her off instead of driving.

***

Catra walked into Cyra’s room, and - surprise, surprise - Adora was _still there._

“I can take care of her,” she said quietly, not wanting to wake Cyra up. “You’ve spent all day looking after her, you must be tired.”

“I’m good.” Adora replied, taking the damp cloth off of Cyra’s forehead and replacing it with a fresh one. 

“It’s okay, Adora,” Catra slid next to Cyra in her bed on the opposite side, “She can spend one night without you.”

“I _said_ I’m good. I’ll take care of her.”

She said it so forcefully, being so adamant about staying with her.

“She’s my daughter, I can look after her just fine.”

“Well, she’s my -” Adora stopped. “She’s something to _me_ , too. So until she gets better, I’m staying with her.”

Cyra woke up because of their chatter and whined, reaching for Catra. Cyra turned as best as she could and leaned into her lap, then began purring. Catra laid next to Cyra, considering just spending the night with both of them. 

_Adora wouldn’t like that,_ she thought _, It’d just make her uncomfortable. She was so upset when she woke up next to me in the car._

Catra pushed Cyra’s head off of her lap, then slowly slid off the bed and went to her own room for the night. 

***

_Adora _

Catra got up and left, despite Cyra whining for her.

Adora reached out and held Cyra’s hands, bringing them back to her. Did Catra really dislike her enough to not even want to spend _one night_ in her sick daughter’s bed, just because Adora would be there too?

Cyra went back to sleep eventually, and Adora got up and started pacing the room, tapping her fingers across any surface she could. Eventually, she couldn’t take just walking around the small room, and she definitely didn’t want to stay still laying next to Cyra when every look at her was just a reminder that she was _Catra’s_ and not hers. And nothing of Catra’s belonged to Adora.

She got out of the room and grabbed her jacket, heading to a secluded room to sit.

***

Adora muffled a yawn and continued to write down the ingredients she’d found.

“Adora?” a raspy voice asked. Catra was standing in the entrance of the open room, still in her pajamas from just having woken up. “Did you get _any_ sleep last night?”

For a second she just _stared_. Catra’s eyes were still fogged with sleep, and she was tiredly leaning her entire weight against the wall. 

“I… couldn’t,” she said, finally looking down at the paper she was writing on. “I was just writing down some food that Cyra’s okay to eat while she’s sick.”

“She can eat anything _,_ Adora,” Catra’s voice cracked with exhaustion as she slowly walked up next to Adora. “She’s a strong kid.” 

Catra leisurely crawled up onto the couch right next to Adora, drawing her knees to her chest and closing her eyes. “Why couldn’t you sleep?”

“I…” Adora swallowed, throat suddenly dry, “Was worried Cyra might wake up, and need me.”

“Really?” one of Catra’s eyes opened and looked at Adora, amused. She picked herself off the back of the couch and leaned towards Adora. “You worry about Cyra a lot, don’t you?”

Adora stopped writing and moved back to talk to her. “She’s your daughter,” she reminded her. Why was Catra annoyed that Adora was worried about her?

“Oh,” Catra shuffled closer, sleep still heavy in her blue-and-yellow eyes. “So, you care about Cyra, only because she’s _my_ daughter?”

Adora’s face heated up, and she looked away from Catra. “I - she’s a person. Why shouldn’t I care?” She picked up the paper she was writing on to hide her face in it, but Catra pushed it back down.

“So you worry about me, too? Or just her?”

She was just teasing her, but when Adora made eye contact with her, they both froze.

Catra softly tilted her head at Adora and let out a quiet, curious rumble.

Adora squeaked at the sound and dropped the pencil, scrambling to pick it up, then left to give the list to a guard to run to the city and get what they needed.

She really hoped the weird look they were giving her was because of the list and not her flaming face. 

***

_Catra_

She laughed once Adora had run out the door, obviously flustered. 

Catra had spent almost the entirety of the day after that run-in with Adora slumped in her own study, sending messages and commands, mostly combing over the plans for any flaws or problems that might occur. 

She couldn’t believe she was actually considering _resigning_ from the army. 

It wasn’t like she couldn’t. Plenty of people had joined, then quit. How do you think Catra got that far, that fast? Too many open positions.

As soon as it was over, she’d resign. Her and Adora were technically royalty, they’d be fine. Even if Adora _wasn’t,_ Catra had more than enough to keep both of them _more_ than comfortable for at least the next thirty, forty years.

An urgent message was sent to her.

_“Hey, Kitten_

_Good news, at least for me it is.”_

Catra skimmed over everything that was happening. The ‘good news’ was that everyone was ready. _Too_ ready, it seemed. And someone picked up on the buzz of what was happening. 

_“I said we should just roll with it. As in, roll out the troops tomorrow, use the element of surprise while we still have it. Anyways, you’re gonna need to send those Erelandia files over ASAP”_

_"What? Why didn’t anyone tell me about this sooner?”_

_"You’re the one that said you were having a ‘family event’ and didn’t want to be disturbed. Just send the files over to Root, everything will be fine. You’ve planned every little move everyone makes right down to how hard they should hit._ _  
_ _It would actually be admirable if it weren’t so terrifying.”_

Goddamn it, if they weren’t the most efficient person Catra had met she’d probably claw them to shreds out of annoyance. But Double Trouble was right, weren’t they? Catra could relax. There was no way the plan would fail, it was airtight. She’d made sure of it. 

And Catra was getting tired of fighting all the time. 

_“I’ll grab them and bring them to Root tomorrow.  
_ _And since you’ve taken it upon yourself to be giving orders now, I’m holding you accountable for anything that happens.”_

 _“Since when did you become so hands-off?  
_ _Is it because of the kitten, Kitten?”_

Catra looked out of the window to where Gygaea and Cyra were sitting, and pushed the window open. 

“Hey, Gaea,” she called out, “Can you take Cyra with you tonight? I’m - me and Adora have to talk.”

Catra closed the window before she could hear Gaea’s response to that. 

If by tomorrow everything with the Horde would be over, then she wanted to talk to Adora alone. 

_“Any updates on her?”_

Adora and Cyra were clearly getting very attached. The sooner she found Cyra’s actual mother, the less it would hurt Adora when she left.

_Like Adora’s the one that’s going to hurt when Cyra leaves. Keep telling yourself that._

_“Oh, yeah, I found her mother immediately. The world isn’t that big of a place, and she was the first woman I saw today!  
_ _No. No updates._  
_If you sent a message outside of the Rebellion, it’ll take a while. They’ll have to match your description of the lost child with probably hundreds of others.  
_ _Do you really want to get rid of her that fast? Afraid you’ll get too close?”_

_“Just do your job. I don’t pay you to investigate my feelings.”_

Catra sighed and went over to where she’d hidden the files. It was about time, wasn’t it? She could finally, _finally_ be done with all of this. Catra pulled the folder out and opened it up.

Then she dropped the ripped folder in shock.

 _“_ What the fuck?”

She quickly picked it up and examined it, seeing what was missing, and the only two forms that were missing were Adora’s and Kitch’s.

Catra stared at it blankly for several long seconds, then let the folder drop to the floor once more. 

“No,” she quietly said to herself. “You didn’t…”

She looked out the window and noticed the sun setting and the first moon beginning to show. In her mind’s eye, she could see Adora sitting out there, smiling. Tomorrow was supposed to be the day she got her answers, but here they were, right in front of her. Catra had no idea what to do now. She’d let herself fall into the belief that Adora was telling the truth, and had even started to think that she might… she might - 

Catra felt something guttural rising in her chest, and quickly turned it into a growl, fleeing to her own room and slamming the door behind her. 

***

_Glimmer_

“What’s the matter, Glimmer?” Lance asked her while she handed him a cup of tea. 

“Nothing, just… missing Bow.”

Bow had quickly introduced her to George, then _ran_ away. He had to go back, apparently something happened with the Rebellion and he needed to help.

Lance rolled his eyes, settling against the bed. “Him and his infatuation with the Rebellion…”

Glimmer laughed, knowing Lance’s apprehension towards the Rebellion was mostly just how they teased Bow for being the only child to join them. Lance sighed, leaning back in his bed, careful not to move any of the IV tubes.

“Why didn’t you go with him?”

“Well,” Glimmer frowned, not really sure herself, “He asked me if I wanted to come, but… I didn’t want to leave you guys alone.”

Lance chuckled, spotting her lie easily. 

“Me and George are perfectly capable on our own, you know.” He rested a hand on Glimmer’s shoulder. “But that’s not why you didn’t go back, is it?”

She sighed, then nodded, thinking. 

"I don't think I'm ready to be... there again."

They drank their tea in silence for a little. 

“Glimmer, do you hate being there?” Lance asked her, startling Glimmer. Her thoughts immediately drifted to days running around Bright Moon with Micah chasing her, playing hide-and-seek with Angella, playing tricks on the guards with her friends. 

“No. My family is there.”

“So, you like it there?”

Glimmer thought of Adora’s bloody clothes, her mother’s grave being lowered in front of her own eyes, and her father telling her to _go. Please go, and be happy. I love you._

“I don’t… I don’t know.”

“Anger and love are two things that can coexist, you know.” Lance commented, sipping his tea. “You can’t change what's already happened,” he took off his wrist communicator and handed it to Glimmer, “But, you can decide what you want to happen _now_.”

Glimmer took the communicator, thinking. 

Then, she called Bow.

***

_Bow_

“Okay, Glim. I love you.”

_“I love you, too. Hurry back, okay?”_

“To you?” Bow smiled into the phone as he pushed the door to the bar open. “Always.”

It was easy to find him. He had the same downcast eyes and dark hair as Kitch did, and he was the only one in the vicinity that seemed to not care about what was going on around him.

Bow came and sat down next to him. There was a wide berth of empty space around the man, everyone was avoiding him on purpose.

They sat next to each other in silence. At some point, he looked up at Bow, but didn’t acknowledge him.

“I know what your brother did,” he said. “And I know you’re not like him.”

Kitch’s older brother sighed sadly. “What do you want?”

“I wanted to tell you I’m sorry about what happened, but you need to confess what he did. Do you have any idea how many people he and his lies have hurt?”

His eyes met with Bow’s, and Bow could see a void in them. He’d obviously cared very much about Kitch, despite all his faults. 

“Just… think about it. If you come to the right decision, I’ll be here. If not… please reconsider. Don’t let Kitch’s lies be buried with him.”

Bow left his contact information with him, walking away. 

***

Sea Hawk was waiting for him. 

“Do you have the recording?”

Bow nodded, and was about to give him the bag, but he stopped him.

“No,” he said, pushing Bow’s bag away, “Keep those with you, for now. Mermista said that they’re safest with you.”

Bow nodded, hiding the bag with the recordings and files in them. 

“Thank you, Sea Hawk.” Bow smiled at him. “I can’t thank you enough for helping me with this.”

Kitch died. Well, he was murdered.

Sea Hawk was worried that Bow might be in trouble because he was a part of whatever ruse Kitch had constructed. Bow came clean to him about everything that had _really_ happened between the two, confessed what he had learned, and told him he wasn’t sure how he could possibly start a plot against _Shadow Weaver._

But Sea Hawk and his ‘secret girlfriend’ came through. Salineas and Bright Moon didn’t have much influence over each other, but Mermista was a prominent member of the Rebellion. When he told her what evidence Bow had, she had apparently agreed that Shadow Weaver was _‘a fucking bitch’_ and enlisted the help of other rebels that hated her to act on what Bow had found out.

Sea Hawk threw an arm over his shoulders and began singing a shanty and Bow decided he wasn’t _that_ thankful. He bid him farewell, and left.

Now, he had to go to his dads’ old library and claim sole ownership over it. 

Glimmer called him and told him that she’d decided where she wanted to go. She didn’t want to live in Bright Moon anymore, but she didn’t want to sever a relationship with her father completely. So if Bow wanted it too, they could start their life in the library his dads’ had left to him on the border of the Fright Zone and Etheria.

After an evening of trying to sort out the library, Bow went to Red Moon Manor to tell Catra and Adora what they’d decided to do.

***

_Glimmer_

She waited, not even breathing, while the communicator beeped.

_“Hello?”_

Glimmer gasped a little at his voice. It sounded so gravelly, weak… 

“Dad?”

Hearing his daughter’s voice, he seemed to come to life. _“Glimmer? How are you?”_

“I’m… good.”

_“How’s Bow? Are you two settling nicely in Brotheria?”_

Glimmer closed her eyes and breathed through her nose, remembering their conversation.

***

_The door opened._

_Micah stared at her, dumbfounded._

_Glimmer watched him, unmoving. She hated him. She hated him for not being there. For not reaching out when her mother died. She never wanted to see him again. And she was going to tell him._

_“You look just like Angella.” he whispered, not taking his eyes off of Glimmer, and just like that, she crumbled._

_Glimmer leapt forward as best as she could in her dress, and threw her arms around her dad, sobbing. First, he was shocked, then he hugged her back, tightly._

_“I thought you hated me,” he said, sadness evident._

_“So did I,” Glimmer choked out. Is that why he stayed away?_

_“What is going on here?” A cruel voice came from down the hall. Glimmer tried to let go, but Micah held on to her._

_“Light Spinner?” he said, holding Glimmer tighter. “What are you doing here?”_

_A tinge of confusion ran through Glimmer._

_“You asked me to be here, remember?” she told him, and Glimmer felt her presence beside them. “Come now, let her go.”_

_Glimmer moved her head a little, and saw her father and Shadow Weaver having a silent conversation._

_Micah stared at her, then slowly let Glimmer go._

_“I’ll have guards escort her to the wedding.”_

_As if on cue, two guards came down the hallway, ready to take Glimmer away._

_She looked at her father. His eyes were glazed over, but there was a certain sadness in them. Glimmer’s heart felt like a rock._

_No. Not again. She was not going to lose another parent._

_“Wait!” Glimmer yelled, running back to Micah. He looked at her, but he didn’t_ look _at her. The closer she got, the more his eyes began to adjust._

_“...Glimmer?” he asked, reaching out and patting her cheek. “You’ve grown so much. Why are you wearing Angella’s dress?”_

_Glimmer let out a suffering breath. How had no one noticed how_ old _he was getting?_

_“Micah…” Shadow Weaver warned._

_The guards stood in the back, watching them, confused. On one hand, there was the King and his daughter. On the other, Shadow Weaver._

_“Dad, won’t you walk me down the aisle?” Glimmer pleaded. “Please?”_

_Micah took in a sharp breath. Then, he held out his arm and walked with her._

_“What’s happening to you? Why are you being like this?” Glimmer pleaded with him, trying to find out why he was so confused. “Dad, can you hear me?”_

_Micah began walking quicker, rounding the corner without the guards._

_“Glimmer, I can’t - I can’t think.”_

_He slowed to look her in the eyes. They weren’t fogged over, anymore._

_“I don’t know… what’s happening… I missed you so much. I miss your mother so much. But… I love you too much to keep you here.”_

_The guards approached them again, and Micah smiled at her, tucking her hair behind her ear._

_“Please go. Be happy,” he whispered, leading her to the ballroom. “I love you.”_

_“I don’t want to leave you here with her,” Glimmer whispered._

_“It’s okay. You don’t have to stay here with me. Go be with…”_

_As they approached the door, his eyes started fogging over again. “... where are we?”_

_“I’m going to go be with Bow.” Glimmer said, not feeling the same excitement she had earlier._

_“Bow… huh… Angella likes him.” Micah smiled, and pushed the door open._

***

“Actually, Dad… we might come live there, in Bow’s library. It’s close to… family.”

A little silence on the other end. Glimmer wished she had used a tracker pad so she could see his face.

_“I love you, Glimmer.”_

Glimmer laughed. “I love you too, Dad.”

_“...do you remember when you were little, and we would look for Loo-Ke?”_

“How could I forget? He was my best friend.”

They talked for almost two hours. How he had the time, Glimmer didn’t know, and she didn’t ask once he’d said something about _‘making decisions for myself’_ , and she understood what he meant.

Every once in a while, he would trip up on his words, confused. Glimmer gently guided him through his memories.

Everything would be okay. 

Right?

***

_Catra_

She paced angrily in her own room. She was clutching the folder in her hand. Over the hour, her hurt had grown, spreading from her heart to her lungs and through her chest and then - then, it turned into anger. 

She heard someone bustling about downstairs. _“Cyra? Where are you?”_

“Adora,” she growled, turning furious hearing her call for _Catra’s daughter_ with such faux-concern. _“ADORA!”_

A silence, and then footsteps rushing to her room. 

“Yeah?” Adora appeared in her doorway, slightly out of breath from running, loose strands of her hair falling over her face, and Catra remembered all the times she had wished she could push the strands out of her face, the way Adora had looked at her in amusement and, what she had thought - _hoped_ was affection.

The memory made pain and anger twist in her chest.

“Close the door, and come here,” she lightly growled, watching Adora jump in surprise.

“ _Close_ the door, and _come here._ ” Catra repeated impatiently. Adora quickly closed the door behind her, and then carefully approached Catra.

Catra reached out and grabbed her by her wrist, twisting it and holding Adora in place.

“W- What are you doing?” Adora asked fearfully, a slight panic in her eyes. An hour ago, Catra would have given anything to make sure Adora never felt like this.

_But that’s what Adora wanted, right? Your protection? Hoping that she could get away with what she did?_

She involuntarily tightened her grip. Adora let out a slight yelp of pain, and Catra _despised_ how much her heart hurt to hear it, she hated how she instinctively loosened her grip on Adora to ease the pain. 

“Where are they?” Catra asked. The sooner she got the papers, the sooner she would never have to see her again. Never have to see those beautiful, glowing, _traitorous_ blue eyes of hers and _care_ how they were looking at her. 

“Wh - where’s w- who?” Adora said, slightly gasping and twisting her arm. Catra relented and let her go, trying not to care that Adora started cradling her wrist once she did.

“Where’s thepapers you _stole_ from me?” Catra demanded, keeping her eyes on Adora.

“I - I don’t know what you’re talking about! What papers?” Adora tried to stand strong in front of Catra, now clenching her fists and glaring, but her voice was laced with panic and anxiety.

Catra hissed at her and she started curling in on herself, backing away as Catra approached her.

“I can’t believe how _stupid_ I was,” she said to herself, keeping her voice low. “I was actually starting to _believe_ you.” 

Adora stopped backing away, eyes widened with shock. 

“I really thought that you were some sort of _victim,_ I -” 

As hard as she tried to prevent it from happening, her voice started to crack.

 _I was starting to love you,_ she said to herself, stopping in front of Adora. "And all you did was _l_ _ie_ to me."

Adora let out a breath, looking at her through glassy eyes. 

“No, Catra -" Adora pleaded with her, holding her hands up in surrender, "I don’t know anything about those papers - please - you have to believe me, I didn’t lie to you about _anything,_ I swear."

Catra let her claws fully spring out. Adora glanced down at them, but then looked back at Catra, nothing but dismay in her eyes. 

“Stop it!" Catra tried to yell at her, but was losing her hardened tone, almost bordering on _pleading._ "Just - just tell me where those papers are!”

Adora shook her head, eyes still on Catra’s claws, her voice on the verge of tears. “I don’t _know!”_

 _“Stop lying to me!”_ Catra yelled, ready to rake the tips of her claws through whatever part of Adora she could reach -

But as soon as she yelled, Adora curled her arms around herself and flinched in _fear,_ and Catra hesitated, curling her claws into her own palm and keeping her arms down at her side.

She couldn’t hurt her. She couldn’t.

Catra turned around and walked away from her.

“Tell me where they are,” she said, defeatedly, “And then go. Get out of my face. I never want to see you again."

She couldn't tell if Adora had heard her voice break at the end or not, but Adora sniffled, and Catra could feel her moving closer. “I don’t know, Catra,” she repeated, trying to reassure _her_ , cautiously resting her hand on Catra's shoulder, trying to make her look at her. “I’m not lying to you. I don’t know.” 

Catra crossed her arms around herself and shut her eyes. _Go away. Go away. Go away._

Adora didn't let go of Catra's shoulder. The smaller, weaker part of Catra didn't _want_ her to.

“If it wasn’t _you_ ,” Catra breathed, refusing to look at her, “Then _who else -"_

Then she heard someone burst into the room, and turned around quickly to see Adora being pulled away.

And the next thing Catra knew, Bow was standing between her and Adora, in his hands the papers that she thought Adora had stolen.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i want every single one of you to know the dip was the entire reason i wrote this. 
> 
> glimbow wedding! i know nothing abt weddings so it was short as fuck. i didn't base it off of any culture in particular aside from the whole 'walking-down-the-aisle' and best man thing. no there isn't a pastor and there are no vows because im bad at emotion <3 and wouldn't know what to say there <3 
> 
> glimmer was feeling conflicted abt leaving her father but they had a talk and hey what if that might influence their future??????
> 
>   
> this is an unedited chapter so please excuse any errors/point them out so i can fix em, thanks!  
> 
> 
> **  
> _and about that last part.... suffer >:)_  
> **


	11. dur ja kar bhi, janemaan, kidar jaoge tum?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dur ja kar bhi, janemaan  
> kidar jaoge tum?
> 
> _even after you've left me, my love,_   
>  _where will you go?_
> 
> ***
> 
> Bow has a plan. Adora takes a chance to _breathe_ , to think. And Catra... she's been better, she _will_ better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> soooooooooo long chapter huh :) 
> 
> its so fucking dramatic for no reason skjsdkjsdjksjjdskds
> 
> and this is AFTER i cut out a lot of unnecessary stuff,,, enjoy?????

_Catra _

“You want your papers?” Bow shoved them into her chest, forcing her to stumble backwards. “ _Here._ ”

Everyone was silent save for the heavy breathing, Catra gaping at the papers, Bow glaring at her, and Adora stood behind him pressed against the wall. 

Catra saw Adora glance between the two of them nervously.

“Bow, what’s going on?” she asked, looking at the papers Catra was clutching to her chest. “Why did you have those?”

Bow looked between the two, then approached Catra. “What’s going on? You tell me! I walk up here, and all I hear is screaming and _you_ yelling at Adora? What, were you going to _fight her_?”

Catra staggered in place at his remarks, putting down her claws and pinning her ears down. Bow shook his head at her. “You were, weren’t you? Why? Because you thought she took some _stupid papers?_ ” 

She looked at the papers he had shoved into her arms. _Bow_ took them? 

Bow took them. Not Adora.

“Well? One of you, answer me.” 

“She -” Adora took a deep breath, composing herself. “She thinks I’m a Horde spy.”

Catra looked up at her. Adora was standing still against the wall, watching her and Bow.

“You _what?”_ Bow’s voice went high-pitched for a second, swiveling back to face Catra. “For the love of - Catra, read those!"

Catra started reading the papers, and - they were different. She frowned, examining them. They _were_ the same ones… but someone had whited out information. Bow had small notes attached to the paper. 

Adora was there that night. The night of the raid and the same night people from Erelandia were attacked, but she _wasn’t_ one of the people involved. She wasn’t even on any Hemanogen - she said she’d eaten a _grey_ bar, not brown. 

The new grey bars - one, they were psychedelics, unlike the brown bars, which made them stronger. Strong enough to fight, strong enough to escape. Two - the grey bars were completely unstable. No one in the actual Horde ever took them, for fear of their health. So Adora wouldn’t have - 

Catra looked back up at Adora in complete shock. Adora peeled herself off the wall, drawing closer to where both of them were standing. 

“Go, Adora.” Bow said without looking at her. 

She glanced at Catra. “Bow, what’s -”

“I said _go._ I need to talk to Catra _alone._ ”

Catra would never admit it but Bow could be _scary_ when he wanted to. The anger of a gentle man, and all. 

Adora looked at Catra again, almost pitifully, the way you’d look at a friend who got in trouble, but then she left. Catra lifted a hand in her direction, but ultimately let it fall back against the papers she was holding. 

Bow looked back at Catra. “She didn’t even _know_ what they gave her were drugs - so she couldn’t even explain herself to anyone properly.”

Catra felt like someone had punched her in the stomach as she processed what Bow was saying. 

“She was _confused_ and _scared_ and no one believed her.”

Catra remembered how _small_ and _miserable_ Adora looked, pushed to her knees in front of them. Worse, she remembered how she’d glared at her, ignoring her pleas for help.

Adora was telling the truth, and she almost… she _did -_

“I thought that at least _you_ did. It - it never even occurred to me that I had to _talk_ to you about this,” Bow continued, sighing exasperatedly. Catra was still breathing heavily, though not with anger; not anymore. 

“Why…” Catra took a breath, trying to speak without giving away any emotion. “Why did you steal these from me?”

“To blackmail Shadow Weaver,” Bow turned around, glancing at the door, then reached over and unslung his bag from his shoulder, setting it down on Catra’s table. “I came back because Princess Mermista is going to help me get rid of her once and for all.”

Catra finally moved from where she was frozen to come sift through the bag. Inside was a recorder and Bow’s journal. She flipped through it, reading the highlighted parts… _oh. Oh no._

Catra felt a growl rising in her throat, not just at Shadow Weaver, but at _herself_ for falling into her tricks. 

Bow stepped closer to her. Catra briefly wondered if he was going to fight her.

"I really thought you had gotten better, Catra,” he said instead, sadly. “But you still can’t trust people. You can’t put aside your fear that they won’t hurt you and open yourself up. You’re so _scared_ of it that you convinced yourself that the woman you _love_ \- “

Catra dropped the journal onto the table in surprise and looked at Bow, who was just looking at her, sort of… _disappointed._ Somehow that hurt her worse. 

“ - was lying to you, was going to betray you. And don’t even _try_ to deny it,” he continued to speak before Catra could say anything. “The only reason I didn’t think to say anything, is because I could see that you’re in love with her.”

Bow rubbed his temple, sighing. “I’d never even imagine that you two - _stars,_ Catra - are you really _so_ messed up inside that you convinced yourself the person you fell in love with would eventually _hurt_ you? So, what, you decided to hurt _her_ first?”

Catra held back a whine crawling up in her throat.

_No, no, no! That’s not what… That’s not why…_

_Well why else did you hurt her?_

_No! I didn’t want to hurt her -_

_You wanted an excuse. An excuse to stay away. How obvious was the truth? How easy would it have been to do this little investigation yourself? You didn’t want her to be innocent. You didn’t want to trust her._

"No! I - I don't..” Catra folded in on herself, trying to piece together what was running through her mind. She turned around to hide her face from him. He was right. 

“I'm sorry, Bow. I don't know why - "

" _I'm_ not the one you should be apologizing to.”

Slowly, he rested a cautious hand on her shoulder. Catra flinched at the contact, but turned around to face him.

“Think, Catra. Do you _want_ to be better for her or not? Decide if you want to change, and _then_ talk to her.”

Catra nodded weakly. Then Bow left the room, shutting the door behind him, leaving her alone.

***

_Adora_

She had been sort of shocked, really.

First, Cyra and Gaea had seemingly gone missing. 

Then, Catra was yelling, no, _screaming_ for her, then grabbing her and she could feel her nails pricking her skin -

And then Catra flat out said that she _believed_ Adora, _cared_ about her… in the same breath admitting she _no longer_ did. 

Before Adora could even think about anything other than _Catra hates me Catra hates me Catra hates -_ Bow was in the room, and _he_ had the stuff Catra was yelling about, and Bow started to talk about her like she wasn’t even there, so then Adora left and had been standing in her room staring at the floor since, trying to control her breathing. 

“Adora?” she could hear Bow calling out to her. 

“H- here!” she said, barely hearing herself. A few moments later, Bow appeared in front of her. 

“And _you -_ ” he pointed a finger at her accusingly, “ - you went ahead and told yourself this was _your_ burden to bear, didn’t you? That no one else should have to worry about you? Well guess what, Adora. It took me _less than thirty seconds_ to fix your marriage.”

Bow stopped ranting and pulled his finger back, resting it on his chin. “Well, it’s not _fixed_ yet, but she - she knows the truth now. And if any of us had just been a _little bit_ more candid with each other, we could’ve sorted this out _sooner._ ”

She fiddled with the string of her jacket. Bow told Catra everything that really happened. She should be happy, right? 

But she wasn’t. She was waiting for the next twist. It always happened - whenever Adora started to feel better, the universe would conspire to take the feeling away from her. Not again. 

“It doesn’t change anything between us.” Adora said. “She doesn’t care about me.” _Doesn’t want me._

“She _does,_ Adora…” Bow groaned, softly, but not at her. He looked like he was getting ready to explain, and a few seconds later, he did.

“Catra’s not… good at _people._ It took her months to trust me enough to even tell me her _full name,_ and I didn’t even know she was a princess until _Scorpia_ let it slip,” Bow sighed, "It's - it sucks, why she doesn't let herself open up. She _does_ care about you, Adora, and she might not know it, or she does, but -"

Bow turned towards her, suddenly serious, resting his hands on Adora’s shoulders.

“She won't ever admit it. Not without some prodding, anyways... but before I say anything more - I need you to tell me something.”

Adora swallowed, and nodded. What did Bow want from her?

“Now that Catra knows the truth… what do you want to do?” Bow was staring very intently at her. “Think about it, _really_ think about it.”

_What do I want?_

She took a deep breath. She hadn’t dared thinking about what life could be like for the two of them if things were _okay,_ not since her wedding night. 

“If Catra… I don’t know, Bow,” she sighed. “Why does it matter? What does Catra want?”

“It _does_ matter,” Bow told her. “And Catra - this isn’t about her right now. I’m asking you what _you_ want, Adora. Do you want to try fixing things between the two of you? If you don't, we can go. You don't have to, uh, _stay_ if you don't want to...”

Adora remembered that somehow, the only thing that had really _hurt_ her this evening was when Catra walked away from her, and told her to get out of her life.

“No,” she said, trying to hold back the whine in her throat - a bad habit she’d picked up on from Cyra, “I - I don't uh, I don't want to _n_ _ever_ see her again.”

She felt Bow’s eyes on her for a second, watching her quizzically, before he smiled and pulled her into a hug. Which Adora was grateful for - it gave her a chance to hide her face from him. And that was good, because of his next question - 

“Adora, do you love her?”

Adora’s arms involuntarily tightened around him, and her gut clenched, stomach doing flops. She squeezed her eyes shut, feeling tears soak into Bow’s crop top, and let out a strangled noise. Why did he have to ask _that?_ What did that have to do with anything? 

_No. I won’t say it. If I say it out loud it’s real._

“I - yeah.”

_Shit._

She wasn’t sure what she was expecting, maybe a loud _BOOM_ , maybe for Bow to start laughing at her and tell her to not be so stupid and let it go. 

_‘Catra could never love you back,’_ a cruel voice in her head said. _‘You’re not worth it to her. Let her go right now, save yourself the hurt and embarrassment.’_

But Bow hugged her back so much harder, and said, “Okay. Then you have to listen to what I tell you to do.”

Adora pulled away from him, confused. 

“What do you mean?”

Bow’s eyes twinkled. He had a plan.

“Catra’s been _really_ annoying, hasn’t she?”

Adora managed a small laugh. 

“Well, just listen…”

***

_Catra_

Catra breathed heavily, walking over to her chair and sat down.

She was innocent, and Catra almost - she _did_ hurt her. 

Catra’s eyes wandered to her bed.

_“What, are you a terrible person or something?”_

She shut her eyes, facing the mirror.

_“I’m not a traitor.”_

_“I’ve had nightmares better than this two-day marriage!”_

Catra opened her eyes, ripped off the mask keeping her mane back letting the mask clatter to the floor, and then kicked it away, under her bed, never wanting to see it again. 

Bow was right. The stupid mask, the stupid persona she had created to protect herself from the outside world - and now she’d hurt Adora’s heart and almost _mauled_ her - now that she had ruined _everything_ she really cared about -

Guilt filled her, hot and fast, but. 

A part of her.

A part of her couldn’t help but feel _joy._

Adora was innocent. 

And.

Adora was… _everything._ To her. 

She closed her eyes and thought back to the wish she had made before the wedding. She’d thrown a coin into the water and asked whoever was listening: _I have no idea what love is supposed to be like, but let me love Adora._ Catra opened her eyes and looked at the stars. The stars looked back. She started walking to her dresser, not really registering what she was doing. 

Bow had told her to decide what she wanted. 

She wanted Adora. 

She’d _prove_ herself to be worthy of Adora. Worthy of her forgiveness. 

She could start with this, she thought as she opened up a drawer, and took out her wedding ring. 

Catra slowly slid the ring onto her finger, admitting something to herself.

_I’m her wife and I’m in love with her. It’s about time I started acting like it._

Briefly, Catra wondered if Adora would let her. If Adora could even love her _back._

***

_Bow_

Breakfast was an awkward affair. It was just the three of them. Cyra still wasn’t feeling well, so she was still asleep in Gaea’s room. Gaea herself was having breakfast there, in case she woke up.

Bow cleared his throat to break the silence. 

“What’s wrong, Catra?” 

Catra slightly looked at him but didn’t reply. 

“Your eyes are all puffy. You’re not getting sick, are you?” Bow over-exaggerated his concern, fully aware that Catra’s eyes didn’t get _puffy_ like that unless she had been upset.

Catra still didn’t reply. 

“Adora, why don’t you look into Catra’s eyes and tell me what you think.”

Adora and Catra quickly glanced at each other, but still remained silent. Bow smiled, seeing how Catra’s ears had pinned down again. His plan was working. Just one last thing.

“You know, seeing you like this, reminds me of that time that pet bird we had flew away. Remember how sad you were? You cried but didn’t let any of us see it.” Bow shrugged, twisting a fork in his hand. “Guess you’ve always sucked at feelings.”

Catra rolled her eyes, but still refused to say anything. Adora glanced up at Catra, a little worried. Bow frowned at the pair of them. 

“Fine, then!” Bow threw the fork down, pretending to be mad and startling both women to finally look at him. Adora looked surprised, but Bow had told her to just go with whatever he did. Catra rolled her eyes at him, knowing he was doing all of it on purpose. 

“Quit being so dramatic. I had enough of that yesterday,” Catra stood up. “If you’re done, come outside. I wanna talk to you.”

She left, and Bow winked at Adora before following her.

***

Catra was _terrible_ at emotions, especially when it came to admitting them. And Adora would never ask her, would never even _dare_ to make a move unless she had solid confirmation that it was true. 

Knowing that, Bow stopped in front of the pond, kicking a rock into it before speaking. 

“Look, Catra… Adora’s been through a lot. I can’t - I _won’t_ let anyone else mistreat her in any way, not under my watch.”

Catra flicked a different rock into the pond with her toe, trailing around the edge lightly. “I know. Me too.”

“You’re lucky Glimmer didn’t come with me,” he joked, hoping she’d snap out of whatever it was she was thinking. “If you thought _I_ was being dramatic, you don’t wanna know what she’d have done.”

Catra kept her eyes on the pond. “Are you going to tell her?”

Bow turned to Catra. She looked even more upset at the thought of Glimmer being mad at her. 

“No,” he said, “This stays between us.”

Even Adora had almost begged him not to tell her.

 _“She thinks I’m - she let me go because she thought I’d be happier here. It’d kill her if she found out I - I lied about what was going on.”_

“Did you think about what you want to do?” Bow asked her. He knew what she would’ve decided, but needed her to _say_ it, out loud. 

Catra crossed her arms and nodded, looking over at the garden. “If Adora… _wants,_ then…” 

“Then _what_?” Bow prodded, hoping he could get her to open up about her feelings. 

“Did you tell her about Cyra?”

Catra changed the subject. Bow sighed. He didn’t _want_ to do it, but actions were the only thing that got through to Catra. So, as much as it was a terrible thing to do, he had to do it. 

“No, I don’t think I did. Why?”

“I wanted -” Catra cleared her throat. “I wanted to tell her myself, so I could see how she reacts when she finds out, who Cyra really is.”

Bow laughed at her. “You want to see if she’s happy that you don’t have some vengeful ex out there that you might still be in love with, don’t you?”

Catra glared at him, and Bow figured it was the perfect opportunity to tell her his plan.

“I’m taking Cyra with me.”

Catra stopped glaring at him, confused. “What? Where?”

“Brotheria. Just for a couple of days. While me and Glimmer make _proper_ preparations to come back. It’ll give you two a chance to have some alone time. And my dads’ would be so happy having a kid around, again.”

“I mean,” Catra looked over the pond - holy _shit,_ it was so _unnecessarily huge_ and for what? - and thought about it. “I guess you can… but ask Adora first.” Catra’s lips twinged with a smile. “She’s really grown on her. Adora’s not going to want to let her go.”

Bow knew that already. He was counting on it, actually. They started walking back to the manor. Catra stopped him before they exited the garden, to say, “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For… the wake up call, I guess.”

Bow smiled at her reassuringly. Catra’s tail lashed behind her, agitated. 

“It’s cool. Don’t mess it up.”

“I won’t mess up,” she promised to him, clenching her fists in determination. “I swear. I won’t ever do anything like yesterday, never again. Especially with… her.”

“You better not.” Bow squinted his eyes at her, hoping it was a sufficient glare. Catra raised an eyebrow and smirked at him.

“Are you threatening me?”

He shrugged, smirking right back. “Adora _is_ my family, after all.”

***

It was a bit horrible. A terrible plan, they'd _both_ hurt because of it. 

It was better in the long run, though. Bow sent a message to Glimmer, telling her he was bringing a surprise back with him.

***

_Adora_

“Can we talk?”

Catra was standing behind her, nervously rubbing her own arm.

“Talk.” Adora said callously. 

Bow told her to be as indifferent as possible to Catra. Adora hadn’t agreed to it at first. Why would she want to make Catra feel bad on _purpose?_ But Bow said he had a plan, one that only worked if Adora listened to him. And she was good at following orders. 

Catra flinched at her tone. “Not like this.”

“Then how?” Adora continued, impatiently. She didn’t like how she liked it when Catra flinched again. Immediate satisfaction that for once, _she_ had the power… then complete guilt after for making someone else feel _small._

“Calmly, patiently…” Catra said, tail twitching behind her. “Privately? If you will?”

Adora tried not to look at her, turning her attention to the table in front of her. She shrugged, like it didn’t really matter to her. 

“Please?” Catra asked again. She almost, _almost_ turned to look at her but instead just nodded, feeling some type of way once Catra left.

***

_Catra + Adora_

Bow said he’d watch Cyra while they talked, so Catra didn’t bother closing the door when she walked into Adora’s room later. She’d spent quite a lot of time just standing right outside, gathering courage. 

Adora was sitting on her bed, facing the window. She was talking to Mara in her head. She didn’t think she had it in her to hate Catra. Even if she was angry, she couldn’t be angry _forever._ But she was angry _now._

Catra gently sat down beside her, then reached out and touched her shoulder. Adora didn’t flinch away from her, but she did just glance at her then look away, uninterested. 

“Will you…” Catra felt horrible for even _asking,_ what had she done to even have the right to ask? “...forgive me?”

The words tasted sour on her tongue. She felt like she was asking for the world. She felt like she was a child asking for something she knew she couldn’t have, but wanted anyways.

 _“Adora,”_ Bow’s voice rang through her memory, _“I know how selfless you can be… you’ll forget all about your own feelings and accept her the second she walks through the door. But this isn’t for you, okay? This is so Catra can understand, can admit - well, just trust me. It’ll be better for both of you if you listen to me. Pretend to be angry, no matter what she says.”_

“Only people that have done something wrong ask for forgiveness,” Adora said, still cold.

Someone took a sharp inhale. Neither of them could tell which one it was. 

“And in your eyes, I’m the one that’s wrong, right?” Adora continued, _real_ bitterness flaring up for a second and taking her by surprise. She started wondering if Bow had just tricked her somehow, giving her permission to be _mad._

“No,” Catra said, keeping her voice as stable as possible, “I’m the one that was wrong. I’m sorry, Adora. I didn’t believe you.”

Adora crossed her arms over her chest, anger already fading at Catra’s small voice. 

“You took _so long.”_ Adora replied, trying to keep the whine out of her voice. 

Catra nodded, although Adora couldn’t really see it, as her head was still turned to avoid seeing Catra’s face and giving in so easily. 

“I did… but do you have a way to fix it?”

Adora huffed, it might have been a laugh. She was still facing away from Catra. 

“I don’t have anything.” She finally turned her head, glaring at Catra. “That’s it? That’s all you wanted to say to me?” 

Catra’s eyes flitted down to her feet, letting Adora scold her. 

“You didn’t - ” Adora breathed out through her nose, “didn’t believe _me_ when I said - you needed _evidence,_ right? To trust me?” Adora started rambling, not sure what she was going to say until it hit her. 

“Then - then that’s what I want.”

Catra’s eyes had flitted back up the moment Adora had said _‘want’._ Whatever she wanted, she’d get it for her. Catra would give her whatever she wanted, for the rest of her life, if Adora would let her. 

“Evidence,” Adora said. “Give me some sort of evidence that you’re - you’re who you say you are. That you’re innocent. Then I’ll trust you. _Then_ I’ll forgive you. Then…” 

_Then what? Bow’s plan, whatever the hell it is he’s trying to do, will be over by then? Or maybe Catra will have gotten rid of me by then. The same way she got rid of Entrapta, or… just… leave me the other way._

Catra swallowed, throat feeling dry. Evidence for _what?_ That she was who she said she was?

Oh.

“So everything that Hordak said, you still believe it?”

Adora almost laughed at the irony. There she was yesterday, thinking Catra had let it go and then shocked when she almost scratched her and her heart to bits, and now here Catra was, _surprised_ that Adora didn’t think Catra was innocent. 

“What, did you think I’d just forget about it?”

There was a tense silence between them. Catra had long since moved her hand off of Adora’s shoulder and had been fisting the sheet underneath them. 

“Okay,” Catra nodded, a goal now in her mind. “That’s fair. _Absolutely_ fair.”

She got off the bed, smoothing her clothes. If that was what it took, she’d do it. Find out what had really happened to Entrapta, find the princess herself, no matter how long it took. 

“But… if I prove it, then can we… be together?”

Catra hoped that she didn’t sound as pleading as she felt like she did. _Please say yes,_ she thought, waiting for Adora’s response.

 _You’re the one that wants to leave me,_ Adora thought, but she couldn’t find her voice to say it. 

She took a deep breath, letting it out as she nodded. 

Catra smiled a little, Adora still not looking at her, then turned and left.

***

_Catra_

“So, Cyra -”

Bow bent down to pick her up and place her on his lap. The four of them were out in the courtyard, sitting on some benches that the guards had brought in and assembled. 

“Do you wanna come with me to see Aunt Glimmer?”

Cyra nodded excitedly, tail flicking back and forth behind her. “It’ll be so much fun!”

Bow looked at Adora and Catra. “Well then, I guess she’s coming with me.” he announced.

“Bow, no,” Adora began protesting, gripping the edges of her seat, “Cyra’ll just… she’ll bother you guys. She’s a lot to handle.”

“I handled her just fine that time we went horse-riding, didn’t I?” Bow recalled their one day out as the self-proclaimed ‘Best Friends’ Squad’.

Adora looked helplessly at Catra, who just looked back at her in a ‘what-can-you-do’ manner. She was fine with Cyra being out of town for a little, if it was with Bow of all people. Maybe she’d even be able to recognize her own home on the way there. Cyra left Bow’s side and came to sit between her and Adora.

Adora, realizing Catra wasn’t going to back her up on this, turned back to Bow.

“She won’t be able to settle down there, she’ll just cause trouble.”

Catra frowned at her. Cyra was a handful sometimes, sure, but she was much more well-behaved than most kids her age. What was Adora’s problem?

Bow pointed out what Catra had been thinking, and Adora sighed, turning to Cyra.

“Bow…” she said, petting Cyra’s head. “ _I_ won’t be able to settle down without her beside me. I’ll just be worried all day.”

Catra’s heart skipped a beat, and she wasn’t even sure _why._ Bow, on the other hand, rolled his eyes and turned his attention to Catra.

“First, _you_ get all attached to her, now _Adora._ She’s a regular kid! You can survive _one day_ without being at her side!”

Bow got up, holding a hand out for Cyra. 

“You know what, I’m going to take Cyra out to the park _by myself._ You two need to learn how to survive without her.”

“Bow, wait -” Catra called out, but Bow swung Cyra up into his arms, running. And knowing Catra’s _useless_ guards, no one would stop him.

Catra sighed, falling back into her seat, and looked over at Adora, who was pouting at the floor. She smiled, and leaned into her hand, crossing her legs. 

***

_Adora _

Catra rested her chin in her palm, turning to face Adora. 

“Catra, I don’t want him to take her,” she told her, idly scratching the wood beneath her. 

She waited for Catra to tell her that she didn’t have a right over Cyra. To quit being so attached to _her_ child and let her go.

“It’s just for a couple days,” Catra reasoned with her, and Adora stilled her movements, “I’m sure they’ll be fine. Let him take her, she’ll have fun. You don’t need to worry so much.”

Adora began idly scratching again, thinking. There was no way she was letting Cyra _go_ . Being next to her was the only way Adora ever felt _secure_ enough to even fall asleep at night. No, she was thinking about Catra - Catra and her actually discussing whether or not Cyra could go, like Adora had a right to say she didn’t want her to.

Adora huffed and leaned back, thinking. What the fuck was Bow playing at, here? What, she was supposed to be alone with Catra for almost a whole week and act _angry_ and _cold_ the whole time? How was that supposed to ‘bring them together’ and end whatever tension was still between them? 

“So?” Catra asked her, smiling. It really wasn’t fair that she was looking at Adora like _that_ and expecting her to be able to say _no._

Adora opened her mouth, about to deny Catra once more, when Catra’s ears flicked, picking up on a noise, and she squinted past her. Adora turned, following her gaze, and saw Adyn coming in.

She rolled her eyes. _Perfect._

If _she_ was going to be around, Adora was sure she wouldn’t have a problem _acting_ angry.

“Oh - hey!” Catra said forcefully, jumping out of her seat to greet her. 

Adora frowned at her reaction. Catra seemed almost _uncomfortable._ Adyn sat down in front of them, barely sparing Adora a second glance while talking to Catra. 

“So,” she hummed, staring pointedly at Catra, “I have a surprise for you.”

“Uh,” Catra sat down too, “I do too, actually.”

Adora glanced between the two. Adyn caught her stare and smiled at her for a second, tilting her head in a way so that Catra couldn't see the _contempt_ on her face, before looking back at Catra with nothing but charm. Adora tried to glare back at her, but quickly lost interest in doing so, realizing her attention was completely on Catra, and Catra's seemed to be on her.

Adora slumped in her seat, trying to keep her attention on something else, like the sight of a bug crawling across the ground. 

“Really?” Adyn scooted closer in her seat, grinning. Adora heard Catra shifting in her seat and instinctively turned to look at her. She was slightly frowning at Adyn.

“Tell me.”

Maybe it was just Adora's imagination, but she could swear she noticed Catra flex her claws into the bench as she forced another laugh. “I think you should go first, actually.”

“No, you go ahead.” 

Catra shook her head, a sly smile on her face. 

Adora stared at the ground in front of her, feeling like she was burning a hole into the ground. She roughly stood up, almost knocking the seat over but not really caring, and marched inside as _politely_ as she could. 

***

_ Catra _

Adyn glared at Adora, and Adora seemed to shrink under it.

She dug her claws into the wood beneath her. She _promised_ Bow that no one would hurt her, even if it was something as petty as a dirty look.

Catra faked another laugh and watched Adora grit her teeth through the corner of her eye. 

“I think you should go first, actually,” she said to Adyn. 

“No, you go ahead.” 

Catra smirked at her. She knew Adyn wouldn’t exactly be _pleased_ by this surprise, but as she said before, she was past _caring._ She only hoped Adora wouldn't be upset with her for what she was going to say. 

She wouldn’t have had a chance to, anyway, because Adora angrily got up and stomped inside the house. Catra bit back an actual laugh, pretending to not notice. 

Whatever was going on between the two of them, it was still _adorable_ how jealous she was of someone who’s presence Catra barely even tolerated. Speaking of which…

“Come on, Katrina,” she drawled, bringing Catra’s attention back to her. “Tell me!”

“You know, I’m really happy today,” Catra breathed in the cool air of the morning through her nose, and Adyn cocked an eyebrow at her. 

“That, I can see. But…” she scooted closer again, “What’s the reason behind all this?” She waved a finger in Catra’s general area. 

Catra took a quick check of herself, and realized she _did_ seem a lot lighter than usual. She wasn’t even wearing her go-to uniform anymore, instead throwing on some old clothes of hers she’d gotten from Bright Moon on a whim.

“Adora,” Catra sighed happily, smiling softly this time. Adyn’s confused look gave her a _lot_ of satisfaction. “Adora’s the reason for all of it.”

Adyn’s smile faltered, and she looked around and made sure no one else was there. 

“Katrina,” she whispered carefully, leaning forward in her seat, “I warned you - you shouldn’t get so involved with someone who might be _a traitor.”_

Catra twitched, irritated, but smiled nonetheless. 

“She’s not.”

Adyn grimaced at Catra's statement, puffing exasperatedly. "Katrina, think with your _head_ for a second. If you're wrong about her _-_ "

“Everything I _thought_ about her was wrong _,"_ she interrupted, still smiling, “The spying, the Horde stuff... For the first time in my life, I’m actually _glad_ that what I thought was wrong. Adora’s just as amazing as I always hoped she was.”

Catra was practically beaming by now, she was sure of it. Adyn still hadn't stopped frowning.

“But how can you be _sure,_ Katrina?” she pleaded, worried. “Don’t be so quick to assume… what if she’s tricking you?”

Catra laughed lightly, leaning forward to meet Adyn’s eyes. 

“There was a whole thing. It doesn’t really matter, how. Adyn, I - I literally feel like I’m going to _burst_ with joy, because of _Adora,”_ she told her, leaning back in her seat. The way Adyn’s eyes had darted down to her lips didn’t go unnoticed by Catra. 

How many times had she done something like this and Catra _hadn’t_ noticed? How many times when she _did_ , made it clear she wasn’t interested, only for Adyn to do it _again?_

Nothing else had gotten through to Adyn. Maybe _this_ would.

“Well? Aren’t you glad?” Catra’s smile was turning carnivorous again, she was sure of it. “There’s no reason for you to have to worry about us anymore.”

Adyn leaned back in her own seat, disappointed. But she quickly replaced it with a look full of false, overexaggerated joy. “Of course I am!”

Catra internally cackled at her. She looked around the courtyard, noticing a flash of blonde hair inside the manor, and smiled for _real._

“You know, Adyn,” she said softly, criss-crossing her legs on the chair and glancing back at her, genuinely just so, _so_ full of bliss for a second. She wasn’t thinking about how mad Adora was at her. Just feeling how much she _loved_ her, anger or not. “If it was up to me, I’d bring the best of what this world has to offer, and lay it all at Adora’s feet for her to choose from.”

Catra thought she picked up a small noise, but she didn’t really register it.

She felt kind of bad, but rejecting her by outright admitting how she felt about Adora was a better alternative than shouting _"I don't like you!"_ and scaling the walls, which, had proven to be a _bad_ idea the last time she had done it.

She waited in bated breaths for her next move. Would she try convincing her that Adora was dangerous again? Would she make a small speech about wanting to be her _friend_ again, try guilt-tripping Catra?

Apparently, she was done. Adyn quickly gathered her things and left, and Catra sighed in relief. _Finally. She got the fucking hint._

***

_Adora_

She was walking past the exit to the yard and she saw Catra, again. Leaning forward, smiling at _her,_ not - not even realizing Adora was standing there. 

She swallowed the lump in her throat and convinced herself that the feeling she had in her chest right now was anger. Because Adyn was annoying, not because of anything else. 

What was going on between those two? Catra wasn't exactly pleased to see her from what Adora could tell.

Was Glimmer right, that Catra never looked twice at Adyn? 

Then what about the wedding Catra was talking to her about? 

She looked outside again, and saw Catra

***

“Hey, have you seen Cyra?” 

Adora neatly folded her clothes, placing them in the corner of the room while replying, still mad. “She’s with Bow.”

Catra didn’t leave her room, waiting for Adora to look at her. After she’d tucked away the last piece of her clothes, she finally turned around to face Catra.

“Um, if - Cyra and - if you want to, then,” she started, nervousness evident by _everything_ about her at the moment, “Cyra, _and_ you, can come and stay in my room.”

Adora clenched her jaw. 

“Why?” she asked, careful to not give away what she was feeling.

“Why what?” Catra chewed her lip. _Doesn’t that hurt her, with her fangs and all?_

Adora breathed heavily, trying to figure out what to say. All of a sudden, she remembered, and glared at Catra. 

“You were the one that said there was no place for _someone like me_ in your room, _or_ your heart.”

Catra flinched _yet again,_ but other than that, didn’t show any indication of hurt or surprise. It frustrated Adora. 

When Catra had said it to her, it felt like someone had twisted a hot knife in her stomach. Now, even when she was the one saying them, Adora was still the one who needed a second to breath while Catra seemed _fine._

“I take it back,” she finally said, “There’s plenty of room for both of you, in my room, and… in my heart.”

Adora turned away from her, again. Catra made a small noise at the abrupt motion, but if Adora turned around right now she’d either yell at Catra or cry, two things Bow had advised her _against_ doing, or else _“the plan won’t work”._

“Then keep both those spaces open for your _friend._ ” 

Adora spat out the word _friend_ the same way she would _bitch._

She didn’t let herself collapse into her bed into a well of misery that never seemed to run out until she’d heard Catra close the door behind her.

_Why would she ask me that? After the way she was with Adyn? Doesn’t she want her and not me? Why?_

_Does she actually want me, or not?_

***

_Catra_

_I deserved that,_ she said to herself, when Adora mentioned her _‘friend.’_ Not only did Catra lead Adyn into thinking there could be something between the two of them, but Adora also had every reason to think Catra and her were a _thing._

Catra headed back to her room, stopping to say goodnight to Cyra.

_But… if she hates me as much as I think she does, why does she care whether or not I want her?_

Catra fell into her own bed, worse for the wear. 

_Does she… want me back?_

_Well, she_ somewhat _does. The last few weeks haven’t been lies, I know that now._

_But… does she want me more than she hates me?_

***

_Adora_

“Hey,” Bow sat down in front of her while she chewed on the bottom of her pencil, “Where’s Catra?”

Adora shrugged. “Did you check her room?”

“I knocked, but she didn’t answer.” Bow crossed his legs and leaned back, a crooked smile on his face. “I think she’s upset.”

Adora put her pencil down, sighing and putting her old sketchbook down on the table with it. 

“I don’t understand what you’re trying to do, Bow,” she said to him, still looking at the blank page she had been trying to draw on, “What’s your goal, here? To make Catra miserable?”

_To make both of us miserable?_

Bow shushed her, scooting closer on the couch.

“Listen. Go pack a bag.”

“What?” Adora looked at him, bewildered. “Why?”

Bow’s eyes twinkled at her again. “Because, you’re coming with me.”

He quickly explained what he was thinking, and Adora stared at him, unblinking.

“Bow, I don’t mean to insult you, but your plan sucks.” she deadpanned. How the fuck was this a _good_ idea? Catra already didn’t _like_ her, this would just separate them even further.

“Well as long as you don’t want to _insult_ me,” Bow rolled his eyes. “This’ll work; trust me, I know how Catra thinks. She’s really hurt you, hasn’t she?”

Adora fiddled with the end of her jacket, biting the inside of her cheek while nodding.

“This’ll bring her _right_ to her senses.”

***

_Bow_

“Hey, Catra.” he knocked on her door once again. 

“I’m going to break the door down in five, four, three…”

Catra swung the door open, still in her pajamas with sunken eyes, looking at Bow devoid of any emotion. He almost felt _bad_ for what he was going to do, but he’d rather not leave Adora alone with _this._

“So… me, Cyra, _and_ Adora are gonna be taking off in about an hour.”

Catra’s hackles raised and she slightly shrieked. 

“Wait - Adora?”

“Yeah,” he answered, casually checking his bag, making sure he hadn’t forgotten to gather anything. 

Catra was shaking her head at him, determined. 

Taking Adora with him was for her benefit as much as it was for Adora’s. Catra would get a chance to mope around a bit with no distractions, really think about what she’d done, try to forgive herself for what had happened and figure out how to have Adora forgive _her._ It was like a time-out for her. 

  
“No. Absolutely not.”

“I wasn’t _asking_ you, Catra, I’m telling you. She’s obviously upset, maybe a few days in Brotheria with Glimmer and Cyra will cheer her up.”

_“Days?”_

Bow laughed at her reaction. 

“Yes, _days._ ”

Adora, away from Red Moon, away from Catra, could make her own decision about what she _really_ wanted in a more open environment. She’d know that she had a _choice -_ she didn’t have to stay with Catra out of some false sense of duty. She deserved to be a little selfish sometimes. 

“Careful, Catra,” her fur was standing on end and she was standing in front of Bow, shaken, “You sound like you might miss her.”

Catra grumbled, not answering him and looking away instead of saying that she would. Bow sighed.

And once Catra spent some time away from her, she would be more willing to admit how much she loved her. She thanked Bow for the wake-up call earlier, but he had a feeling she wouldn’t be thanking him for _this_ part of his wake-up call for a while. 

If Catra could just admit to Adora she cares about her, _loves_ her, and then Adora would have the courage to say it back, and the two could sort out how they _really_ felt about each other and accept it.

Nothing like distance to make the heart grow fonder, right?

***

_Catra_

A part of her briefly thought about asking Adora to stay.

 _No_ . Adora had every right to do what she wanted, without Catra holding her back. If she wanted to go with Bow, then she should go. It didn’t matter whether or not Catra would _miss_ her, even if she would.

“What am I supposed to do around here by myself?” she asked Bow.

He grinned at her, humming thoughtfully. Catra _hated_ when he got like this, all smug because he had a ‘plan’. She missed the days his voice used to crack. 

“Sit here and think about your actions?” he suggested. Catra growled at him.

“I hate you.”

***

_Adora_

Adora had a bag with about three pairs of clothes in them, and was on her way to leave, heart thudding excitedly in her chest, when she stopped.

“Oh, crap, I forgot - “ she said to herself, turning around to go back up the steps, and immediately ran into Catra. 

“Hey, Adora.” she said, holding exactly what Adora had forgotten. Her smile didn’t quite reach her eyes. She held out the sketchbook and the pack of pencils. “I figured you’d want to take it, so, I was gonna bring it to you.”

Adora took it, tucking it between her arms. 

“You look… really happy. It’s a nice look on you,” Catra commented. 

Adora nodded, trying to smile. 

Why - why was this so _hard?_ She was ecstatic a second ago. She was leaving Etheria for the first time since she’d _arrived_ as a child, she was leaving the manor for the first time in weeks. 

She was truly _free,_ maybe for the first time in years, no one to reprimand her, tell her she _couldn’t_ do that _._

So why did she feel like leaving was a punishment in itself? 

Catra didn’t follow her as she left, but she did ask: 

“Do you want me to come drop you guys off?”

Adora didn’t turn around again, didn’t say anything, but she froze in place. 

A part of her didn’t want to refuse because the idea of spending a little more time around Catra was enticing, but she didn’t wantIt hurt when she was around, sure, but it even hurt when she _wasn’t_ around. She just didn’t want to leave Catra alone. 

_Who said she’ll be alone?_

A little voice in Adora’s head reminded her that Catra didn’t need her. She hadn’t even asked her to stay. She remembered the girl who Catra was talking to in their courtyard just a day ago. 

_She’ll be fine without me,_ Adora thought with gritted teeth, leaving the manor. 

***

_Catra_

“Um,” Catra spoke into her wrist communicator, “How’s Cyra?”

“ _Oh, she’s great,”_ Bow replied. _“She loves it here. A little freaked out by the water, but she enjoys playing in it. Anyways, bye.”_

“Bow, wait!” Catra stopped him from hanging up. 

_“What,”_ he said innocently, _“Is there something else?”_

Catra blew a breath through her mouth, slightly cursing him.

_"You know you can ask, right?”_

“If you _know_ what I’m going to ask, then why don’t you just _tell me?”_

_“It’s funnier trying to get you to admit it.”_

Catra groaned. 

“Fine. Tell me how Adora is.”

 _“Haha! I knew it! Why are you being so_ nervous _about asking?”_

“I’m not being nervous, I’m trying to give her space _.”_

Bow laughed again. _“Suuure, Catra. You know what I was remembering the other day?”_

“What?” she asked, annoyed. She just wanted to know if Adora was - was alright. 

_“The first time I met Adora. I was just thinking of how embarrassed she was when I caught her_ ogling _you!”_

Catra froze, staring at her wrist. Adora what?

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

 _“Oh,”_ he hummed, _“Nothing. How’s work going, by the way?”_

Right, _work._ Catra let the 'ogling' thing go for now, closing her eyes and exhaled, preparing for his reaction. 

“I don’t know. I quit.”

_“What?”_

“I got bored.”

_“You - you qui - okay, what have you been doing, then?”_

What had Catra been doing for the past two days? Other than moping around the manor, thinking of Adora _,_ and dealing with people begging her not to quit the army?

“Just, you know, thinking.”

_“About what?”_

_About how much I fucked up,_ she thought. _About how the hell I’m supposed to find someone who’s been MIA for over three months._

“How's Adora?” she asked again, dodging his question.

_“Oh, you know. She’s fine. Spends most of her day in dads’ library.”_

Of course she did. Adora had wandered into Catra’s study for some books, hadn’t she? And Catra had kicked her out of it. 

At least there, she could do what she wanted. 

“Is she… happy there?”

_“She sure is. Why?”_

“Do you think… um…” 

Would Adora be happier staying there? With Bow and Glimmer, with George and Lance? Forever?

There was static on the line. 

_“What are you thinking, Catra?”_ his gentle voice finally came through. 

“Nothing. I’ll call you back later.”

***

Catra wandered all over the manor, eventually getting sick of staying inside.

Now, she was walking around some random nearby town she had driven to. Thaymor. She didn’t know why, she wasn’t planning on coming here, she just sat down and started driving. 

Every other step she took, a memory would flash through her mind.

_“You? You’re a traitor!”_

She winced, turning onto a path in the woods along a row of cabins.

_“What? Did you think I actually cared about you?”_

Catra tried focusing on the noise around her. The one time she would welcome it, and it was quiet. 

Thaymor _was_ known as a quiet neighbourhood. There was some time Catra had heard it’s name frequently, although she couldn’t remember _why._

A cold wind passed through, and Catra shuddered. 

_“Now are you coming in, or do you wanna spend the night out here?”_

Catra shuddered again, but not because of the cold this time. 

She remembered how Adora turned to her, glaring, giving curt responses to anything Catra said. That’s how she’d been towards her, hadn’t she?

_I’m never going to be able to make up for what I did, am I?_

_Maybe Adora should just stay with Bow and Glimmer. She shouldn’t have to be stuck with me when all I do is hurt her._

Catra sighed, having reached the end of the path. There were two small huts hidden in between some trees. Catra turned around to go back, when she noticed a plaque set on the tree. 

**_“Childhood Home of Princess Adora of Eternia”_ **

_Oh._ That’s why the name was so familiar to Catra. Thaymor was the town Adora had lived in for a few years, before moving to Bright Moon. She remembered all the excitement when people discovered that the lost princess of Eternia had survived the attacks, and had escaped safe and sound with a guard.

Did that mean Mara brought her to this neighbourhood? Why?

Catra approached the plaque, reading what was written.

Adora was found at a travelling art show? Strange. 

A thought occurred to Catra. If Adora didn’t always live in Bright Moon, if she wasn’t always with Shadow Weaver, what did she want to do _before_ all that?

She liked art, right? And books. Most days, if she wasn’t doing something with Cyra, Adora would be either drawing or reading. What else did she want?

Did _Adora_ even know what she wanted? 

Catra tucked her hands into her arms, trying to shield them from the cold while she approached the house next to Adora’s apparent childhood home. She had an idea. 

  
  


***

It took a while. 

She had to talk to _so many_ people that were way too optimistic and bubbly, going through the same conversation almost a dozen times - _oh, she got married? That’s lovely! How's Adora? Oh yes, we’ve known her and Mara for a long time. Wait, really? That’s so sweet of you_ \- but it was worth it, for Adora.

There was one woman who had revealed something quite _interesting_ to Catra. She tucked the information away in her head for the future, focused on one thing at a time. Right now, she’d finally found something that Adora might actually want.

Now, she just wanted to _tell_ her. Catra tapped away on her comms, hoping that she’d actually pick up. Adora’s number should be on it somewhere…

***

_Adora_

_Catra_. 

The tracker pad kept flashing at her, beeping with Catra’s name. Adora picked it up, and shoved it behind a pillow.

***

_Catra_

She gave up trying to call the second time Adora missed her call.

She felt a little amused that Adora was ignoring her. It meant Adora didn’t feel obligated to her. That was good. 

If Adora didn’t come back, then Catra could always just send it to her through Bow. Or, as an ultimate gift, she could just stay out of Adora’s life permanently.

She took a deep breath. _No, you’re not going to do that. Hiding from people you hurt isn’t going to fix anything._

She tapped the side of the tracker pad, finally picking Glimmer’s contact instead. 

***

_Glimmer_

_Hey, Princess?_

_Hey, General._ _  
_ _I’m mad at you_

_What? Why?_

_Why didn’t you come with? It would’ve been so fun, the four of us  
_ _Five if we count Cyra_

_Ask your husband. He didn’t even tell me WHEN they were leaving._

_Forget him. I’m officially inviting you out - you, me, Bow, and Adora.  
_ _To be honest, Catra, something feels missing without you here_

_Ask Adora first_

_Nope. I’m still technically a Princess, so I’m ordering the both of you to come_

_I was trying to call her but she didn’t_ _  
_ _She’s okay right?_ _  
_ _I don’t know why, I’m just a little worried_

_I’ll check on her and have her call you back_

_NO  
_ _No*_ _  
_ _It’s fine, she doesn’t need to call me_ _  
_ _I just wanted to check in, see if everything was alright?_

_Yeah. Everyone’s good here._

_Thanks_

***

Glimmer stood behind where Adora was sitting, tapping her foot.

“Where’s your tracker pad?” she asked sternly, startling Adora.

“Um, I don’t know… It should be around here, somewhere…” Adora said, burying her nose back in some random book she’d borrowed from George’s collection. Only Adora would find _A History of Constellations and the Moons_ interesting.

Glimmer gave her a speculative look. “And why are you ghosting your wife?”

Adora didn’t look up. “I’m not, I didn’t even know she was trying to call me.”

“You’re a terrible liar.”

Adora put the book down, pouting. “No I’m not.”

Glimmer rolled her eyes and leaned against the chair Adora was curled up in. “You just admitted you were lying.”

Adora didn’t say anything, looking down, cheeks flushed. 

Glimmer sighed, making Adora scooch over so she could sit on the arm of the chair. 

“Did you two get in a fight?” she asked, knowing the answer.

Adora stayed silent. Two days, and she hadn’t said _anything_ of actual substance to Glimmer. Whenever she asked her about her personal life, or inquired about Catra, she would dodge the question or reply with a generic answer. She tried asking Bow what had happened, and Bow told her Adora and Catra just needed some space right now. 

He didn’t know Adora as well as she did. To her, _space_ meant distant. Another good reason for Glimmer to move to the Fright Zone, close to where Adora was. She was like a goldfish, unless she saw Glimmer every once in a while, she’d start to forget that they were _friends,_ that Glimmer cared about her. 

“Look, Adora… Catra is a good person.”

Adora closed her book. She remained passive, staring at the cover. 

“And when good people make mistakes, they try to rectify them,” she continued. “But they can’t do that if we ignore them.”

Adora shuffled over a bit more, stubbornly glaring at Glimmer, now. 

“First of all, nothing happened. Second of all - what about Micah?” 

It was a low blow, bringing her father up. Adora really was riled up about something, wasn’t she?

“He’s a good person, isn’t he? Well, did you forgive him?” she persisted, gripping the book she had been reading.

Glimmer relaxed against the seat. “Yeah, actually… I did.”

Adora’s grip loosened on the book, and she relaxed too, strangely looking at Glimmer. 

“I realized… whatever happened before, he’s trying. And I need to meet him halfway, or else…” Glimmer cleared her throat, suddenly remembering how _dazed_ he was. How hadn’t she noticed before, how old he was getting? How _distant_ he was getting, not just physically, but mentally?

“Or else he won’t get better.”

They both remained silent for a minute.

“So you think he deserves your forgiveness?” she asked quietly. 

Glimmer thought about it. 

“I don’t think anyone _deserves_ forgiveness. It’s given, or it isn’t. A person could strive their whole life to be forgiven, and still fall short. Or, someone could do absolutely nothing and be forgiven. I think… it depends on who they hurt, what they did.”

Adora nodded slightly, an indication that she was listening. Glimmer continued.

“It’s not about if you _should_ forgive her, Adora. It’s about if you _can._ If you feel like you want to, then do it. If you’re still angry… well, see where you want to go from there.”

“And if I’m both?” Adora said, not looking at Glimmer. 

Glimmer rested a hand on Adora’s shoulder.

“A moron once told me, I have to decide if I’m more angry than upset."

They both chuckled a little bit, and Adora looked down at the cover of the book, tapping a rhythm on it. Glimmer recognized it as the song that was playing at her engagement party, the one her and Bow had their first dance to.

***

_Adora_

Glimmer left after a while.

“The song is Golden Dandelions, by the way,” she told her before leaving.

Adora stopped tapping. She fished her tracker pad out from beneath the pillow she had shoved it under, searching for the song.

She hadn’t even realized she was tapping it.

Adora sighed, listening to the soft beat of the song.

_I wonder what Catra is doing right now… did she eat anything yet? She forgets, sometimes…_

_Stop it, Adora. She’ll be fine. It’s not like she’s going to fall apart just because_ you’re _not there._

Adora glared at the tracker pad. Why was Catra calling _her?_ She wanted Adyn, right? 

> _We’re laying down near the fire’s light,  
>  _ _Bearing down on blackened skies_

Adora remembered how she had danced with Catra that day, how for a second it felt like they were something _more_.

_Stop right there. Don’t even think about it. Catra’ll throw you out the second Adyn tells her to. Don’t let yourself think of anything else._

> _And colours burst as I close my eyes…  
>  _ _And she said, lay me down in golden dandelions_

Adora wiped her eyes and went to the guest room where she had been staying, turning the song off. There was no reason to torture herself with it any more.

***

_Catra_

A knock sounded at the door.

“Catra?” Gaea’s soft voice came through. “Are you okay? Are you sick?”

“No,” Catra’s voice was rough, “I’m fine.”

“Are you hungry? You haven’t come out of your room in a while,” she continued, entering the room. Catra was curled up in a seat, and she grabbed the near st thing her hands could find and pretended to be reading it.

“No, I’m good. Not hungry. I don’t feel like having anything.”

_I don’t feel anything._

Gaea sighed, and stopped in front of Catra, staring her down. Catra felt like she was 12 again, and Gaea found her hiding some scraps of fish in her closet.

“You don’t look so good.”

“I’ll be better after a nap,” Catra pretended to yawn. She did feel exhausted, but she’d always wake up feeling worse than ever.

“Catra, I think you should call Princess Adora back.”

Catra shook her head. “It’s her first time there. I shouldn’t bother her.”

“Then go join her!” Gaea said exasperatedly, moving the book away from Catra’s face. She frowned when she saw Catra’s face, how sunken her eyes were. “You miss her. You’ll feel better when the two of you are together again.”

Catra shook her head again. “It’s nothing like that, Gaea. I just need some rest. You should go get some, too. You must be tired.”

Gygaea didn’t look so convinced, but she left at Catra’s request.

***

She was staring in the mirror. How did she get here? 

She blinked, twice. The monster in the mirror followed her movements.

She didn’t like it.

That was the person who… who hurt Adora. Who treated her so coldly, callously. Like she was a prisoner.

She didn’t like that the monster was her.

Sighing, she pulled the cool metal up to her hair.

***

_Adora_

_Princess Adora?_

_Yes, Gygaea?_

_I thought I should let you know, Princess Catra isn’t feeling well_

Princess Catra? Since when did she refer to Catra as a princess?

_Is she okay? What happened to her?_

_I don’t know. She doesn’t look well. She spends all day in her room. She hasn’t even stepped out of the manor in three days._

_What about work?_

_Princess Catra is currently in the process of taking an early retirement from the Rebellion’s army._

Adora’s heart skipped a beat. Her hands were getting clammy around the tracker pad. Why would Catra do that? How sick _was_ she?

_Tell her to go to the doctor_

_Adora, I don’t think this is something a doctor can fix._ _  
_ _If I may, I’d like to ask you to come back. She’s only started acting like this since you left.  
_ _She misses you, you know. I can see it in her eyes._

Adora’s heart skipped another beat. What did she mean? Catra didn’t need her. You only miss the people you care about. 

_Adyn can take care of her. She doesn’t need me._

_Adyn?  
_ _Why would she need her?_ _  
_ _Listen, Adora_

Adora could almost hear Gaea scolding her in her gentle but rough voice.

 _Catra doesn’t need anyone_  
_But she wants you_   
Take my advice, come back

Adora swallowed her dry throat. 

“Hey, Bow?” She called out, hoping the archer would be around to hear her. 

_Sneak some medicine into her coffee._

Bow appeared in the entrance of her door. “Yeah? What’s up?”

Adora stood up, looking at him, worry written across her face. 

***

_Bow_

“Sooo, Catra, how are you doing?” he teased her over the speaker in his dads' library.

Catra sighed in frustration. _“I’m fine.”_

“Really?” he laughed. He could hear the tiredness in her voice. “It’s been, what, four or five days, barely, and you’re already missing Adora so bad that you’ve given yourself the _plague_?”

She growled at him. _“Shut up Bow. I don’t_ miss _anyone. Adora can stay there for as long as she wants.”_

“Oh, so you’re alright with me keeping her here the whole month?”

She was silent for a little.

 _“Why are you being such an asshole?”_ she suddenly cried through the communicator.

“What?” he feigned shock. “What did I do? All I did was ask you a question.”

_“Fine, I miss her, alright! And I want her to come back! Are you happy now?”_

Bow turned around, where Adora was standing, shocked. He smiled at her and turned back around to give her a little privacy to process her own emotions.

“Extremely.”

***

_Salineas_

Mermista tugged her hat down over her face as she entered the dock’s bar. It smelled like ocean spray and booze. 

She sat down next to that arson guy she sort of knew.

“Hey,” she whispered, “What’s the news?”

Sea Hawk lit up when he saw her.

“Dear! You made it,” he said excitedly, rapping his fingers across the table as if it were a piano and he was playing a medley for her. “How are you?”

She groaned, knowing that to him it was 'the sweetest noise'. “I’m _fine._ As good as I can be while committing what I’m pretty sure is treason.”

“Shadow Weaver isn’t technically royalty, you know,” a kid’s voice chirped up. Mermista looked around and spotted her.

“You’re twelve.”

The child glared at her. “I’m _thirteen.”_

Mermista squinted. “Why are you here?”

“I hate Shadow Weaver, and I wanna punch something.”

She shrugged. “Good enough for me, I guess. Just… don’t drink anything, alright?”

“I’m keeping an eye on her, dearest! No need to worry about a thing!”

Mermista groaned again, directing her attention to someone who looked like they had something _important_ to add.

“What’s the news?” she repeated, quieting down. “Any updates on that cat-lady who hates everyone? Is she on our side?”

The man nodded, clearing his throat and standing up, poker faced. “General Catra of Red Moon retired for an unknown reason. Although, our scouts in Etheria and the Fright Zone tell us that she may be inclined to join us. Her wife, the former Princess Adora of Eternia, is said to have a grudge against Shadow Weaver. A few attempts have been made to contact her, but General Catra refuses to speak to anyone. Suggested course of action is to access her through Lord Bow, a freelance archer who primarily works for the Rebellion but is known to provide help to any citizen who requests for him.”

His report finished, and he sat back down. Everyone stared at him, quiet. He sighed, standing up again.

“The cat-lady doesn’t work for the military anymore, but she and her wife, Adora, really hate Shadow Weaver. We can probably convince them to help us through Lord Bow. He’s their friend.”

“Ohh,” the thirteen year old said, “Well why didn’t you just _say_ that!”

“This is what I get for joining the rebels,” he grumbled, putting his head in his hands. “ _No one_ wants to be professional anymore.”

Mermista sighed, and pretended to yawn so she could lean into arson guy’s side. Thankfully, he didn’t say anything about it. 

“We’ll talk to her when everyone gets together in the Fright Zone,” she decided. “Except you.” 

She pointed at the kid. The kid pouted angrily.

“Why? What did I do?”

“Nothing. Just, you’re like, ten. You’re not coming with us.”

“I’m not ten!” she protested, a little _too_ loudly, and Mermista shushed her.

“I know,” she whispered, “Which is exactly why you need to stay here. Make sure nothing goes wrong. If anything happens to us, you’re the one that we’re going to count on to save. No one’ll think the kid is any threat and you’ll be able to beat them up with surprise.”

This seemed to satisfy the angry teenager, she nodded determinedly. Mermista looked at Sea Hawk, and he was making heart eyes at her.

“Don’t say it,” she groaned, but slightly smiled.

“You are the _best_ person I have ever met,” he claimed, reaching over to try kissing her cheek. Mermista hoped they’d be able to convince the fearsome cat-lady of that. If they wanted to win, it would help to have her on their side.

***

_Catra_

“Happy, now?”

Bow chuckled. _“Extremely.”_

He hung up before Catra could reply. She sighed and took off the communicator, flinging it onto her unmade bed. 

_Why did he have to make me say it?_

Catra squeezed her eyes shut, trying to prevent the tears from leaking out. 

She missed her. She missed Adora so bad it _hurt._ Bow teased her for not being able to go a few days without her, but she wasn’t hurt so much by the _missing her_ than by the fact that Adora _may never come back._

Catra heard Gaea come in and wiped her face, roughly. 

“Here’s some tea,” she said, cautiously setting it down on a table. 

“Do you think Adora hates me?” 

The words spilled out before Catra could stop them. She didn’t turn to look at Gaea. She was sure it would be a look full of pity, and Catra couldn’t handle that right now.

“I don't know what happened, but I think that you _want_ to believe Adora hates you, so you have an excuse to be mad at yourself. All this time, Katrina, and I'm still not quite convinced that you don’t hate _yourself._ ”

Catra turned around to gape at her, but Gaea was already out the door. 

_You hate yourself. I_ _… I hate myself._

Well. 

Leave it to the people closest to Catra to call her out for her bullshit.

Catra drank all the tea Gaea left for her in one go, and realized too late that she’d put an aspirin or something in it. She lazily draped over a chair and curled into a comfy ball, falling asleep and ignoring her inner turmoil. 

***

She was still sleeping when Cyra jumped on her.

“Catra-ma!”

“ _Mrrp?_ ” Catra rubbed her eyes and looked around, scrambling up to hug Cyra when she saw her. “Hey! You guys came back!”

Catra looked up and beamed at Adora, who was holding Cyra’s bag. 

“I - I would’ve prepared something for you two if I’d known -” she took a break from smiling to yawn and rub her eyes. “I could’ve come picked you up.”

“It’s fine, we didn’t wanna bother you.” Adora smiled carefully at her, watching Catra scratch behind her own ear. “We heard you were sick, so we came back.”

Catra blushed. She’d specifically told Gygaea _not_ to say anything to Adora so she didn’t feel obligated to come back, but after their slight interaction earlier that day she must have ignored Catra's wishes. Catra looked down at the kit still clinging to her.

“Did you have fun?” she asked, smoothing her mane down. Cyra nodded. 

“Are you tired?”

Cyra shook her head. Adora laughed at her. 

“She’s lying. She was yawning the whole way back.”

Catra kneeled down to Cyra’s height, brushing some loose strands out of her face. She remembered the intricate yet messed braids Cyra’s hair had been in when they’d first met. Catra held her by her arms, whispering. “Go, go take a nap. We’ll go to the park later, okay?”

Cyra nodded against her, and ran straight out the door when Catra let her go. Adora stood there, watching Cyra run out the door, before looking back at Catra. 

“You, uh,” she cleared her throat, “You got a haircut.”

Catra reached up in surprise, having forgotten she'd done it. 

“Yeah," she remembered the relief that came when she looked in the mirror again after it was gone, "I just felt like changing.”

Adora stared at her with an unreadable expression when Catra remembered what she’d done for her. 

“Hey, Adora - wait a second.”

Catra walked over to her desk and found what she was looking for - an envelope. She walked back towards Adora, excitedly hiding it behind her back.

“I have a surprise for you.”

Adora stared cautiously at what Catra was holding behind her. “What kind of surprise?”

"I went to Thaymor, and I met some people there that told me..." Catra couldn’t stop the smile spreading across her face when she presented the gift to Adora. "You might like this?"

Adora took the envelope, carefully opening it up and taking out a ticket and a brochure.

“What - what’s this?”

Catra pointed to the ticket. “I booked a tour for you.”

Adora was looking at the papers in her hands, expression unchanging. Catra started to get worried. 

“To travel,” Catra continued, “You’ve never really been out of here, right? It’s perfectly safe, you’ll be able to go wherever you want for however long. All of Etheria, Brotheria, Salineas - and, um, Eternia, if you want.”

Adora didn’t say anything, reading through the information provided in the brochure. Catra chewed on her lip.

_Does she hate it? Or does she just hate me?_

Adora finally looked up at her. 

“You’re serious?” she asked, breathlessly. Catra nodded. She couldn’t tell if Adora was upset or happy. 

“You - you wanted to travel, right? Figure out what you wanna do? I thought that… this might help. If you’re up to it, the trip is booked two months from now. You can uh, decide where you wanna go, or not go… It’s fine if you don’t. The ticket is refundable…”

Catra’s voice faded out, waiting for Adora to either throw the ticket back at her and tell her she didn’t want it, or leave and go do whatever it was she did when Catra wasn’t bothering her. 

But instead, Adora started crying. 

“Woah - Adora?” Catra slightly backed away from her, giving her space. “What the - why are you crying?”

“I just can’t believe this,” Adora said, wiping her tears with one hand and looking at the envelope with the other. She started laughing through her tears. Catra watched her in bewilderment.

“I - so you’re happy? Or you’re sad?” 

Adora stopped cry-laughing and stared at Catra with that weird look in her eyes again. Catra cleared her throat and spoke again.

“Listen, I… I know you’re mad at me. You don’t want to talk to me and you don’t trust me. And you shouldn’t... I’ve done nothing but give you grief. Because of my own issues.”

Adora folded the papers and looked up at Catra.

“But… this isn’t about me. It’s for you, and your future, whatever you decide you want it to be.”

Adora tucked both the ticket and the brochures into the envelope, staring at it. 

“So, go on the trip… figure out what you want. You’ve got a couple weeks to think about it.” 

Catra took a breath and waited for Adora to say something. Adora opened her mouth, still staring at the envelope, then looked up and lunged forward, grabbing Catra in a hug.

Shocked, Catra just stood there, still. Slowly, her arms went up to hug Adora back, gently.

“Thank you,” she whispered, tightening her arms around her. “You didn’t have to do this for me. Thank you.”

She was unsure how to respond - not _you’re welcome,_ not when she didn’t deserve the gratitude. It was exactly what Adora deserved, and someone should have given her the choice a long time ago. Instead, Catra hugged her back a little bit tighter, and whispered back, “I’m sorry I didn’t do it sooner.”

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so, the real reason i hate adyn's character isn't just cause she's a bitch, but bc she's never really fleshed out PAST that  
> in the story she's nothing other than the "temptress", which is annoying bc... can i get some substance, please?  
> but unfortunately, i have absolutely nothing else to build adyn's character on, like at all. no reason _why_ she's like that, just that she is.  
> anyways not really important to the story but i just wanted to point that out bc i'm sorry if her character is got a little tiring lol.  
> what can i say, she's a persistent little fucker, but she was useful for two things:  
> 1\. extra drama  
> 2\. ~~you'll find out~~  
>  sooo catra's haircut, huh?

**Author's Note:**

> this work is based off of a soap opera on ARY Digital, _Zard Zamano Ka Sawera_ , so if there's anything I wrote that seems kind of OOC or just, really bad, let me know and i'll try to fix it. i did my best with separating the plot/characters from the OG show in a way that'll fit with these characters but I'm definitely not perfect so feel free to yell at me lol
> 
> also, if you guys find the basic plot of this interesting, all of [Zard Zamano](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLb2aaNHUy_gHDaZdofcRFMfvmQmZ841Up) is available on YouTube with subtitles. but fair warning though the show is soooo much worse in terms of how fucked up the characters and the plot is.


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